//------------------------------// // CH 12 (first year, done) // Story: Accepting Change // by drFraud //------------------------------// Patchwork   I woke up with a start, my eyes still stinging from last night. I rubbed at them gently with my claws before a powerful yawn interrupted me. Yesterday was one year of my stay in Equestria as a changeling hybrid. And while I had a blast, enjoying myself immensely with learning about magic and shapeshifting, my life on Earth would always creep up on me, to remind me of what I lost. Now, I’m a very adaptable person, able to take any event in stride, but it’s… it’s too much now. I couldn’t ignore this anymore. I miss my people. I miss my parents, even my mother (‘though she often barely tried to be one’), I miss my family, my friends. I miss my pc and the stupidly small studio I lived in. I missed playing games till the dead of night with Jessie and Mark and the laughs that came from it. I missed it all. So, I gave myself time off yesterday. I think everyone knew what was up because they just gave me some nicely decorated cake (supposedly, Celestia helped make it) and they left me alone. No tests, exercises, studies, or anything. Just me, my miserable memories, and tears. I got up, gave myself a quick wash, brushed myself down to a more presentable state, and made plans for today. It was the day that Celestia and I got our usual meetups. We would chat about anything that came to our minds, and she would sometimes quiz me on what I’ve learned, as well as make sure that I’m comfortable. Today though, I intend to breach about my arrival. There were a few things I’d like to know, and I doubt she would keep them from me.   —---------------------------------- I choked on my drink trying to process her last sentence. I immediately started coughing and hacking my lungs out. Celestia watched me with a small smirk, using her magic to gently pat my back. She was careful not to touch my hidden wing plates. They weren’t fragile by all means, but they were sensitive to touch. “Punishment,” I croaked out between coughs, “that was a punishment?” I took a large lungful of air and then exhaled it softly, trying not to trigger another coughing fit. “Yes it was,” she said smugly, slathering some jam onto her, now fourth, toast slice. “And it was rather brilliant at that.” After all,” she continued taking a dainty bite, “what better way to punish such reckless behavior but to make her stay with the very being whose life she inadvertently ruined, hm?” I shook my head at her taking slower sips of my cinnamon, apple, and honey juice. We were in the kitchen of my apartment (may as well be a house with its size), enjoying breakfast and talking about my arrival. While I got most of the information about my arrival from Captain Strike, there were some things about the whole ordeal that I was curious about. One of them being Spark Hoof and her presence in the cell. “So, what, it was supposed to be a test for me, and a punishment for her? Doesn’t sound like much considering what she did to me.” I took a bite out of my own chocolate-covered toast, smearing the creamy chocolate all over my muzzle. Before I could even blink, there was a napkin dabbing at my mouth, surrounded by a golden glow. Honestly, this mare. “A test for you, absolutely. But that wasn’t her only punishment.” There was another tinkle of her magic and a freshly toasted slice of bread found itself on my plate, covered in a red jam. Seriously, she is like a mother sometimes. “Suffice to say, Patch, she was punished severely, and the mirror she used is locked up out of any pony’s reach.” I was mollified with that, knowing that Spark Hoof at least got her punishment for it. I could have asked what the actual punishment was, but I didn’t wish to indulge my inner demon. Celestia did so much to make me comfortable and safe, I had no right to question her and her methods so harshly. Justice was served and that was that. We ate in silence, enjoying each other’s company before I remembered something. “What about the changeling that was there? How did he get there in the first place, and where is he now?” Celestia took a sip of coffee, regarding me with a neutral expression before putting the cup down. “We don’t know how it got there, or what its plan was,” she took another sip of coffee and used her magic to summon a plate full of assorted pastries. She picked a star-shaped pastry and took a bite with a satisfied hum. “The only thing we know is that it ran away in the commotion and that we lost it in the Everfree forest. It...” I cleared my throat loudly at that, “’they’ are probably lost in the forest or worse, or they have probably already given their report to Chrysalis. Either case, they are out of our mane, and their Queen has made no moves that we know of. And believe me, my dear, I would know if she did.” After that statement we fell into silence, only interrupted by chewing and ‘humms’ of delight, especially after I tried one of the pastries. Whoever made these is not getting enough bits. Suddenly there was a quiet gasp, and a small, pink glowing pill was in front of my eyes. “I was enjoying your company so much I nearly forgot.” Celestia had at some point leaned forward with her head in her hooves. “Spell Scroll and White Light may have stumbled upon something, and I would like to see if it works.” I eyed the pill with some trepidation; but only because I sensed a fair bit of love concentrated in front of me. Now, ever since my first cocooning I had little need for love, and I was able to easily sustain myself with normal food while nibbling on residual emotions of others from time to time. But as I grew and developed I had even less need for emotions. Nowadays I only needed to be next to a pony and that would be enough to ‘feed’ me without any issues, and if I were near a group my wings would start to sparkle out of sheer overabundance. Even my active feeding has become so gentle that most ponies don’t even notice when I’m trying to feed, especially when they radiate some powerful love emotions (the antennae on my head help me detect it better). All that being said, the pill in front of me radiated a massive amount of concentrated love. How they managed to make a pill of it, had no idea, but it smelled wonderful, and I actually started buzzing my wings out of sheer excitement. However, instead of chomping down on it, I turned towards Celestia. “What is this? I mean, I know what it is, but how did you make it?” I asked, plucking the pill out of her magic with my claw. “Neither Dr. Light nor my Archmage told me HOW they made it, only that they believe it will help when it comes to feeding changelings. And I truly hope it works.” She languidly laid down on her hooves, pushing the pillow she was sitting on to the side. Her tail was also gently swishing from side to side. I watched her relax, before what she said finally reached my brain. “Feed changelings? As in, other than me?” “Yes…” She stretched it out like it was a question rather than a confirmation, I was even more confused. “Did you find some other changelings that wish to join Equestria?” I asked, tilting my head to the side. I still held the pill in my claws, and it was starting to tempt me. “No, we did not.” I looked at her with a deadpan stare and she only smiled a large, toothy smile. She twitched her wing at me in a shooing motion while I started to develop a twitch in my eye. Eventually, I shrugged and popped the pill in my maw, swallowing it dry. By this point, I was drooling enough that I needed no water, and I did not know whether I was disgusted with myself, or proud of my self-control. The moment the pill hit my tongue I was assaulted with sweet strawberry flavor and watermelon, and I about cried for joy as delightful warmth started spreading along my body reaching my changeling core. Suddenly I felt invigorated, so much so that for a moment I thought I could lift the very mountain of Canterhorn. It lasted for about a second and after that, my body decided that I would never be hungry again. For a brief moment I thought I was poisoned, it felt too good, but… Celestia gave this to me. This mare has gone so much out of her way to help me, to make me feel safe that I worried I would never be able to repay her. Hell, after my second cocooning she laid next to me and cleaned my carapace for over an hour, making sure I was safe and content. I have nothing but the highest respect towards her. “Well, it seems to have worked.” She shook me out of the molasses that became my mind. I looked at her, drowsy-eyed, trying to speak but she just giggled at my attempts and magicked our left-over breakfast away. “Light and Scroll will be happy to hear that. It’s not easy to make these pills, but they will help changelings should they ever wish to join us in peace.” I shook my head violently, dislodging the rest of the torpor from my mind once my body started processing the love pill. I remember her laugh, giving me a peck on the base of my horn and then leaving, saying that she had work that she needed to start on. Me on the other claw, I sat there for another hour planning on how I could save the rest of the changeling race from Chrysalis.  —---------------------------------- With the night of tears a few days ago still on my mind, I decided to forgo sleeping for a week. Not that I needed much sleep in the first place. What I was doing right now, after a horrendous day of trying to break my bones and muscles courtesy of Shield Strike, is meditating, and trying to discover more of my body. Months ago, while I was trying to discover how to shapeshift I found out that there is much more to changeling core than I imagined. The core was connected to my body in various strands and strings, all of them malleable and interactable with my changeling magic… to a degree. I plucked on a few with my magic, feeling my carapace and my horn tingle for a second. Opening my eyes, I noted down which ones did which on parchment, making sure that it was in English, rather than Equish. Closing my eyes again, I refocused on the strings. … It took six hours, but I got about three-quarters of them down. Opening and blinking my watery eyes I lifted the parchment in my magic and started checking and crossing out the pathways I either wasn’t interested in or pathways that were too dangerous to tamper with for now. Needless to say, what I was doing was stupid and dangerous beyond measure, but if I succeeded I would be able to permanently modify my body. Of course, I had to keep this a secret; White Light would burn my head off if he found out. I walked over to my bookshelf and took the pony anatomy book, looking over a few things before I doomed myself. ‘Honestly wish I could save my game at this time.’ Were my thoughts as I went through the book. Putting the book back on the shelf I returned to the bedroom, making sure that my door was locked beforehand. It wouldn’t be the first time that one of the ponies came barging in because they had an idea that HAD to be tested. Fuckers are lucky I like them, otherwise, they would be out on their plots so fast their heads would spin. Anyway. All said and done, I sat down in the far corner, in total darkness, my eyes closed and my breathing steady. I focused on the strings I was most interested in: improving my oxygenation and blood flow, which would, in theory, help with my physical training. I took a deep breath, letting out in a snort, and lightly pressed on the cluster of strings I noted down. At first, I felt a shiver down my spine, and I felt slightly short of breath. Suddenly I was very worried about how I got my oxygen into the apartment. I did not know how these ponies did it, but right now it felt like a life and death decision. I shook my head from these thoughts and focused on keeping a light, but consistent pressure on the strings. I could practically feel my body vibrate with more air, making my breathing longer and deeper. I just wish I were a bit brighter as I completely failed to notice the darkness closing in my consciousness. ‘Note to self, don’t panic next time.’ —----------------------------------   My head pounded, my breathing was shallow and a very, very angry-looking White Light was looking down on me. “Shit…” came my coarse voice. “That’s one way of putting it, colt.” Was a very terse reply from him. We were looking at each other for a few moments, some rustling of paper and an argument reached my ears. Looking to the side, I spotted my scratched-up parchment with notes and two ponies arguing over it. “You know…” I tried getting up, only to be pushed back down to the floor. “Lie still you twit,” Growled an irate doctor, “Do you have any conceivable idea what you nearly did to yourself?” “I… had?” came my questioning response. Only now did I feel a tube going up my nose, feeding me oxygen. “Had? HAD?! You nearly killed yourself.” White Light practically shouted at me; the others have gotten awfully quiet. “I have no idea how you survived your suffocation attempt, but by some miracle, Needle Point found you before you asphyxiated.” He ground out, pointing at a pale violet earth pony stallion, holding my notes in his hooves. “I… miscalculated.” Was my sheepish response. By the murderous look in his eyes, and his head going red I figured I made a mistake. White Light looked about ready to finish what I have started and rearrange my head when he suddenly snorted loudly. “You two, get out,” He pointed at the stallion and, what I now noticed was a mare. “And leave the note here.” They nodded their heads hurriedly and ran out. “As for you…” He turned to me, and I wished to be anywhere but here, “You are going to explain to me EXACTLY what you did, why you did it, and what you wrote down. Are we clear?” I slowly nodded my head, my eyes not leaving his. “Good.” He levitated the parchment and moved it to hover in front of me. “Start.   White Light After the colt explained his reasoning and his idea I just about had a fit. My head was pounding, and I had to take some extra pills to keep my blood pressure from going too high. Needless to say, his idea is utterly moronic, but there is a hint of truth in there. He can already shapeshift, and he’s in part a golem, who is to say that he cannot modify himself with magic. Ponies have done so before, with surprising results in some cases, so why not him. After I explained to him just how irresponsible it was to do so on his own, I put him on the bed, with the tube still in his nose, and left to write up a report to Celestia. “I’m sorry.” Came a meek apology from the bedroom. I was in the living room writing on the coffee table. I sighed heavily before I put the quill down and walked back to the bedroom. I found him with his head in his claws. I heard quiet sniffling coming from him and I shook my head. “You ought to be. Look, son…” I started, checking the oxygen tank, making sure it was working correctly, “What you did is stupid, but it doesn’t mean that the idea is bad.” “I wanted to do something on my own. You know, prove to everyone that I am finally capable after everything you taught me.” He dragged his claws down his muzzle, nearly disconnecting the tube. “And that’s all fine and dandy, but did you honestly think that doing this alone was a good idea?” I asked, trying to keep myself as calm and collected as possible. I was still furious at him for nearly throwing his life away, but I didn’t have to berate him more than necessary. “My dear colt, ponies are a social species, and I can tell you right now that there are plenty of graves out there filled with ponies that tried something alone and paid the ultimate price.” I put my hoof on his withers, making him look at me from the corner of his eyes. “I think far too highly of you to just accept this. You are smarter than this. I know you like your secrecy but something like this is…” “Yeah, I know.” He interrupted me dejectedly. I think the message finally settled in. “Why do you even want to keep this a secret in the first place?” I asked, now curious about his reasoning. He was quiet for a few moments before speaking. “I guess I just wanted something for myself.” He started sounding depressed. “My life has been closely monitored for the last year to such a degree that I’m pretty sure you even watch me shower.” We didn’t, but I kept quiet for now. “You ponies may not chase knowledge or power, but I’m not a pony. I need some level of privacy to myself, I need to grow, I need to see how far I can push this, and most of you aren’t exactly comfortable with everything here.” He finished, and I sat down chewing through his words. “You’re right,“ I started off, “We aren’t exactly comfortable with the level of independence you show us, or with how you approach the world around you. But that doesn’t mean we can’t try. We tend to forget some things and settle down into a routine, and that is something you showed isn’t for you.” “I don’t mind the routine, doc, but I need something for myself.” He shot back; I could honestly understand that. “I’ll talk to the ponies in charge, see if something can be done. We are… were done with most of the things here and I was considering packing it up and calling it done. But I can’t do that now,” I approached the head of the bed, looking him in the eyes, “I am afraid you would hurt yourself or worse with this new idea of yours, and for that, and no other reason will I extend our stay… That is until you are comfortable with your knowledge.” He raised his head with a surprised look on his muzzle. I laughed at his expression. “Don’t get me wrong, colt. I have made myself clear about what I think about doing this solo, but I did not say that your idea is stupid. There may be something there and we will explore it, but we will do it together.” I nodded my head, before igniting my horn and incinerating the report I started to write. “Tell you what, we do this, and I will only write in the report what you are comfortable with.” His mouth dropped in astonishment. “Consider it my way of thanking and apologizing to you for the way we treated you for the last year. How’s that?” He was quiet for a few seconds, his deep breathing the only noise. Suddenly he lifted his claws and balled them into a fist, which I eagerly hoof bumped. “Apology accepted, doc.”