3 - Cutie Mark Crusaders Anti-Ambushers!
Scootaloo suddenly buzzed her small wings and said a few funny words. A bolt sailed towards her, only to get lost in thick fog that exploded outwards from her in all directions. The bandits advanced on the fog, drawing out their swords and abandoning crossbows on the way for those who needed to. They cut through the fog ineffectively, but the wind did slowly carry it away, revealing nothing but an empty dune top.
"Sun King take them all!" cursed the leader, "Come on, we've wasted enough time on this trap. We can get better marks to the west."
The group grumbled softly, but were soon gone, following the leader away.
The sand displaced as Applejack rose up from the sand, shaking it free of her fur. Apple Bloom and Sweetie were next. Sweetie looked at the other two, "Where's Scootaloo?"
Applejack looked immediately worried and began digging around, finding and recovering a barely-conscious Scootaloo from the sand. A bolt had penetrated her deeply in the ribs, and her breathing sounded funny. "No! No no no no," said Applejack as she started to panic, "Why did ya have to go fight them?!"
Sweetie rushed up and grabbed the bolt in her mouth, pulling it free. Scootaloo spasmed, curling on herself before going limp in Applejack's forelegs. Applejack's eyes went wider, "Sweetie Belle! Ya done... killed yer friend!"
Sweetie shook her head quickly before she drew a deep breath. She let out a sweet little note that seemed to shake through Applejack's tattered nerves. Sweetie reached out and touched the wound as she sung about it being time to wake up. Scootaloo jerked awake, blinking. "Wha?"
Apple Bloom smiled brightly at Scootaloo, "Ya saved us! That was quick thinking!"
Applejack set Scootaloo down, who was on her hooves, a little wobbly but intact. "This is too much fer me. Please, I'm begging all of ya, please stay with me. Please don't run away. Please don't go casting spells like that! Ah want ya all to get home safe and intact..."
Sweetie smiled in her charming way, "We're here together, Applejack. We have to protect each other, not just you on us."
Apple Bloom bobbed her head, "Yeah! 'Sides, ah reckon our tricks might come in handy."
Scootaloo was the last to join the chorus, "They woulda done a lot meaner things if I didn't do that. They didn't look like they'd just take your bits and walk off."
Applejack sagged in place, "Maybe yer right, but Ah'm still gonna tan yer hides when we get home, after we have the biggest dang party ever." She took a slow breath and began to turn, surveying the land for signs of civilization. "There," she pointed, "Looks like a city or somethin'."
They began to walk through the blazing sands, keeping that glint of a city in sight the whole way. Applejack stopped suddenly, "This is taking too long. Everyone up." She pointed at her back. The Crusaders were swift to clamber up onto Applejack's back, not looking the gift in the mouth.
Applejack took a firm stance and a deep breath before she spoke the words of magic carefully. She expanded out from underneath the crusaders, making their weight practically negligible. Another, more complex, spell sent a strange power through her legs. She took off with a new speed, alien muscles working to propel her across the sand fast enough to feel a mild breeze with her effort.
The Crusaders were delighted at the performance, clapping their hooves excitedly. "Yer gettin' better at this, sis!" exclaimed Apple Bloom with a huge grin.
Sweetie fanned herself with a hoof, "Can you go just a little bit faster? That breeze is just divine."
Scootaloo said nothing, instead thrumming her wings as they went. It was only then that Scootaloo noticed something. "Hey, girls, you both look a bit different."
They looked down at themselves, then at Scootaloo, and their mighty steed known as Applejack. It was true, each had altered in subtle ways to match the form of an Everglow pony, which was much more like a small horse than that of the round and friendly features of an Equestrian pony. Following an old habit whenever something new happened, they checked their flanks to find they were still bare. "Nuts," said Apple Bloom.
Applejack suddenly pulled up short as the sand before her exploded in activity. A giant carapaced scorpion dug free and lashed out at her with a long stinger. Applejack yelped in pain as it bit into her and she came down with both hooves, knocking it away with her enhanced strength.
Sweetie Belle suddenly looked like she was screaming, but no sound emerged. The scorpion writhed in clear agony despite the silence.
Apple Bloom poked her snout into her pouch and came out with another bundle of half-prepared explosives. Without waiting she clamped her teeth down on it and gave it a good throw. It sailed just past the scorpion and exploded behind it, engulfing it in a brief wash of hot flames.
It was too much for the critter, and it flopped over limply from all the abuse.
Applejack smiled with some pride, "Woo-eee, y'all did real good up there." She then staggered, feeling the poison sapping her strength away, "We'd best mosey on while we can... Not sure how long ah can hold y'all." She pressed on against the weakening feeling, talking largely to herself, "Ah don't know what else t'do.."
Apple Bloom softly nudged Applejack's head, "Can ya make one of them fancy things that float? I saw ya do it once."
Applejack nodded as she walked, "Sure can. How's that help?"
Apple Bloom gestured at the others and soon they had hopped clear into the sand. "Go on," she urged. "We'll take it from here."
Confused, but also dizzy with dehydration, poison, and fatigue, Applejack did as was asked and called up the floating disk. Apple Bloom pointed on it, "Lay down."
Soon the Crusaders were marching along with a sleeping Applejack floating behind them. Sweetie asked quietly, "Do you think we'll be alright? Applejack looks pretty bad."
Scootaloo bobbed her head, "We'll be fine as long as we have each other. Applejack just needs to sleep it all off."
Apple Bloom pouted a bit, though she kept walking, "If'n we don't get water soon, we'll all be sleeping it off, forever-like."
The somber thought brought silence to the group. Mercifully, the sun was beginning to set, and the heat faded away, but then began to sink into the opposite extreme. What was once baked rapidly became chilly. There was a muffled thump as Applejack landed in the sand, her spell expiring.
Scootaloo sighed, "Well, guess we stop here tonight."
Sweetie pointed at Scootaloo, "You're the same kinda wizard as Applejack, do you know the get-really-big spell too?"
Scootaloo nodded hesitantly, "Yeah? Oh!" She said the words and expanded quickly to full-grown size and brimming with borrowed strength. She grabbed Applejack and they were soon able to proceed, though it was clear Applejack was still heavy to Scootaloo, large or not.
The moon hung heavy in the sky, still rising. Apple Bloom looked up at the strange thing, similar and yet very different. "Ta think there's no Luna controllin' that one."
Sweetie blinked owlishly, "And no Celestia lowered the sun!"
Scootaloo nodded between huffs of breath, "We're a far way away from home."
Apple Bloom smiled, "Could be worse. We got each otha." They paused just long enough to clop all their hooves together.
The sound apparently drew attention, as a male voice called out, "Who goes there?"
The three exchanged a quick look before Sweetie Belle spoke up, "We're really thirsty and hungry, can you help please?"
There was silence for a time, then a figure emerged over the next dune. They were dressed like the bandits, but had clear pageantry of some kind on their chest. Their wings were exposed, which they used to coast down the dune towards them. "You're a rough looking lot," said the male purrsian. "I'm Amethyst Crooked-Tail, city patrol. Were you aimed at Murrage, or as lost as you look?"
Sweetie began introductions, "Hello! I'm Sweetie Belle, and this is Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and the sleeping one's Applejack." Scootaloo suddenly shrank, becoming her normal size and sinking into the sand beneath Applejack with barely a squeak of protest.
Amethyst advanced, proving strong enough to rescue Scootaloo from beneath Applejack, "You're nothing but children! What happened to your caretaker?" He pointed a finger at Applejack.
Scootaloo shook herself out as she regained her hooves, "She got stung by a big nasty scorpion."
Apple Bloom added, "And we've been walking all day without any water. Please tell me ya got some?"
Amethyst frowned, "All day? Only a mad..." He trailed off, looking over the tired and weathered-looking group. He unhooked a canteen and poured some water out into the cap, "Drink the cap, no more. Everyone gets a turn." The small portion of water felt maddening, but Amethyst let them have second rounds after the first was finished. He offered a cap to Applejack, gently feeding it to her despite her sleepy state. "Alright, let's get you all into town. Rescue service is ten gold."
Apple Bloom tilted her head, then dug into her pouch, producing the two bits she had. Scootaloo produced one, and Sweetie Belle three, "Rarity wanted me to pick up some carrots on the way home."
Amethyst gathered up the bits, squinting at them, "Strange currency, but the right weight. I'm sure I'll find a collector. I'll take it." He fell to all fours, walking as easily as he had on two as he led them towards the city. After a few dunes, it came into clear view, and was huge!
Apple Bloom whistled sharply, "It's bigger'n Canterlot!"
Amethyst smiled, "Welcome to the Jewel of the Desert, Murrage. Home of the purrsians, sole survivor of the great demon Apep, and your oasis away from the cruelties of the desert sands." He descended the dune, heading for a road with his charges. Soon they arrived at a small building. "This is where we part. It is a small inn for guardsman and those we rescue. Your rescue fee gets you one night here. After that, you're on your own."
The inside had strong and foreign scents. Sweetie volunteered, "Smells like those fancy things my sister sometimes lights."
Amethyst cocked a brow, "Do you speak of the incense? No matter, let's get your mother to bed." Amethyst carried Applejack the rest of the way and set her own on a soft mattress before turning to leave, "I trust you are satisfied with your rescue?"
Scootaloo bobbed her head, "Yeah, you were great, thanks! See you later, Amethyst."
Amethyst nodded and made himself scarce, vanishing into the darkness to resume his patrol and leaving the Crusaders behind. Apple Bloom closed the door to the small room and joined the other girls gathered around the sleeping Applejack. "Ah hope she wakes up in the morning. Ah don't know what to do without her."
Sweetie raised a hoof, "Me too."
Scootaloo raised one of her own, "Me three. Let's get some sleep ourselves."
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5853342
you just normally do a supper job. after all you are vary much like your oc.
5853938 My OC is me, as drawn by the talented Sita Duncan. David Pony! Otherwise known as Rough Draft.
There are two spaces between "of" and "her."
Scootaloo is "barely-conscious."
They were "swift" to clamber up.
Also, gifts don't have mouths. You should say "gift horse," though that'd make an awful pun.
She means "Yer" gettin' better at that.
They'll be sleeping it off "forever-like."
His sentence should end with a question mark.
Also, do forepaws have fingers?
The group is tired and "weathered-looking."
There are two spaces between "pick" and "up."
5854176 Fixed!
5854186 So far, things are off to a good start - for the readers, I mean; the characters are having a harder time of it. Thankfully, it's not impossible, but so far they're not having a free ride either (something free in a city of purrsians? Perish the thought!).
I was particularly glad that their rescuer had no particular use for them other than that of a merchant providing his services. That he was so stingy with his water was an excellent way to drive home the fact that he's from a culture with a strong mercantile bent, and everything is measured by its monetary value, rather than idealism or sentiment. While I don't expect this to be universal - certainly, the purrsian mother and kitten we met in the previous story were largely ordinary people, save for giving their rescuers a parting reward - it still helps to drive home the fact that Applejack and the Crusaders aren't going to be able to get by on the largess of others.
It seemed a little convenient how the group was able to get out of that particular ambush that they were in - they all thought to dig into the sand at the same time? And those bandits never had anyone try that before? - but the fact that Scootaloo was so badly injured helped to take some of the bite out of that. Of course, things turned right around with Sweetie Belle having a healing spell on hoof, but it was still an indicator of how much more serious things are here. One can only wonder how youthful and innocent the fillies will remain while on such a harsh world, and among the more amoral members of it, no less.
The next major question is what the plan is. I'm guessing that Applejack will want to get back to Viljatown, if for no other reason than to return to a familiar point, both for their own security and because that's where they know Twilight and company are likely to go. It's the getting there that's going to be hard, since they're starting out with almost nothing. Quite likely, that'll be a saga unto itself for quite a few chapters to come.
Aw yeah, this is great. Big adventure right out of the gate and a part of Everglow we haven't seen before. Also, the CMC are completely Bad###. I approve. One thing though, if Scoots was lung-shot and Sweetie just ripped the arrow out, the damage would be horrible. If Sweetie can heal that, her magic is more powerful than Pinkie's, in spite of her 7-level disadvantage. It's not story-breaking if you intend SB to be a prodigy, but it's pretty extreme.
the
I don't remember Scoots having any particular accent.
the form
needs
though she
Tail (since it's also part of his name)
5854233
If anyone can stay innocent (or at least idealistic) in this situation, it's the CMC. For all their faults, they have great strength of character.
5854506 Fixed! Thanks for the second eye over this all. I will admit that my mind kinda went with pathfinder logic, being she didn't have a lot of hitpoints and a CLW could put her upright again. Not 100% fit, but working, and didn't think too hardly about the specifics of the wounds, my bad...
5854533 I guess she got the maximum roll, eh? It's fortunate that Scoots has a high pain threshold.
5854547 The expression in my mind of Applejack when she watched Sweetie Belle casually inflict a mortal wound on Scootaloo, that kinda filled my thoughts.
5854553 It's kind of the same old question of how much pony durability is real, and how much is just comedic hyperbole. The CMC have shaken off multi-story falls and high speed impacts with no apparent injury, but it's generally supposed to be funny.
Applejack the mobile battle platform? Works for me. And dang this reminds me of how important Create Water is. As well as Endure Elements, which only AB has access to.. Ah well. Items of Endure Elements are wonderfully cheap.
Now, on to the single uniting factor all adventurers share: The Giant Rat Quest.
And I am so looking forward to the character sheets.
5854703 SECRET PRO-TIP!!!!
The old link still works, and is already updated.
Wow. Do ponies have crappy luck with poison or what?
In any case, good initiative on the part of the Crusaders, even if they weren't going to find the town without help. I do have to wonder how Apple Bloom's going to replenish her alchemical supplies, though. Especially given their nonexistent funds. Well ,they can cross that bridge when they come to it. For now, rest and recovery.
5856336 This start of Equestrian Everglow adventure is much more perilous. Twilight might have gotten her flank handed to her, but actual survival wasn't really the issue.
Saying suddenly, and then having ellipses afterward KINDA defeats the purpose. Either delete suddenly, or delete the ellipses.
Dumb question for the first chapter. Were they putting the book back every day or something? (I kinda doubt AJ would not notice it missing for weeks otherwise.)
5864503 Tweaked, and yes. They didn't have to return Twilight's book when they had it, however.
Wow, bandit attack followed by giant scorpian? Desert encounter table isn't being kind...but could be worse.
Ah'm
too
OK I for one am happy that they didn't get their Marks, but for a different reason. I was concerned that when they crossed over into Everglow Cutie Markless, that the gods would give them Marks of Destiny instead of letting them reach it on their own. Based on the timing of this story, it looks like it was written a few months before 'Crusaders of the Lost Mark'. If this story was written after the episode aired, how would you have approached the Cutie Mark situation differently? I personally would be perfectly fine with them getting different Cutie Marks at any time during their stay in Everglow.
9412159
If I had written it after the episode, they'd already have marks, which would have changed things.
"We are satisfied with our care."
A city called "Mirage" being in the desert. How fitting.