18 - Heart of Darkness
Applejack tried her best to look mean. Her size helped, but the savage tearing the ghoul trio had given her didn't do any favors. "How do ah know yer not plannin' ta go kill somepony the moment ah let ya go?"
Sunflower waved his mace at the ghoul. "You can't trust a dead person!"
Sweetie tilted her head. "Wasn't Twilight dead once?"
Applejack scuffed at the ground. "That was different!"
The ghoul edged away as quickly as it dared. "I promise I will not harm anypony. Guarantee my safety and my knowledge is yours."
Scootaloo waved her flaming rapier at the ghoul, moving around to cut off his retreat. "You don't fool us! There are more than ponies counting on us."
The ghoul turned to flee, and Apple Bloom pegged in directly on the back with a bomb. He fell over into a smoldering pile. "That's what ya get."
Applejack gave a firm nod. "Make sure tha perimeter's safe, then we can have a look around." They spread out through the library, finding there were three hallways leading down darkened passages leading off from the library. There wasn't anything else immediately threatening.
Apple Bloom came up to Applejack and held up a potion. "Here, ya look roughed up."
Applejack accepted the elixir and chugged it down, some of the worst of the slices fading. "Mighty kind o' ya. Best save tha other fer emergencies. Let's see what we did that fighting fer, 'sides clearing up some nasties."
They dug around, finding some scrolls hidden amongst the largely-rotted collection, as well as a book written in a strange language. "Anypony know how ta read this?" Apple Bloom looked to Applejack, then Sweetie and Sunflower. Scootaloo bobbed her head.
"Give me a few minutes and Twilight's book. She has a spell for that." Scootaloo held out a hoof. Applejack surrendered the book, setting it down carefully. "Guess it's a good thing we brought this with us."
Applejack tilted her head. "She's going to be angrier than a three-legged bull in a headbutting contest when she gets her hooves on y'all."
Scootaloo raised a brow at Applejack, but continued studying the spell.
Sunflower whispered aside to Sweetie, using a paw to muffle the words. "What'd she say?"
Sweetie tilted her head before replying in hushed tone. "She said our friend's going to be really angry when she catches up with us. That's her spell book right there."
Sunflower hopped back. "You stole a wizard's spell book?! She'll set you all on fire then blow away the ash! I've heard the stories."
Applejack blinked as she turned towards Sunflower. "Now calm down. Twilight ain't the type to be hurting little fillies. She's a good pony. Now that don't mean there won't be a price t'pay. Ya did wrong by her, and y'all deserve the tongue-lashing yer gonna get." She tapped her chin lightly in thought. "I suppose being her servant for a week might also help make this lesson stick."
Apple Bloom groaned as she sank to the floor. "She'll make us reshelve all her books every day!"
Sweetie sagged against a bookshelf. "She'll make us dust that entire huge castle."
Sunflower didn't look overly calmed. "What?! She has a castle?"
"Of course she does," said Scootaloo as she flipped to the next page. "She is a princess."
"You stole a magic book from a wizard princess? You're all mad!"
Applejack nodded at Sunflower. "Ya don't know the half of it." Taking advantage of the lull with Scootaloo studying, Applejack unfurled the scrolls they found and with a quick spell, she pulled back the mystery of the magical writing. "Hmm. Spells. Ah think this one's yer kind of magic." She offered the scroll towards Sweetie Belle.
Sweetie Belle quickly repeated a similar spell. "Yep! It's the healing song I use, or something similar. What do I do with it?"
Applejack waved a hoof. "Twilight said ya could read scrolls like that out loud and the spell goes off. Ya sh--"
Before she could advise saving it, Sweetie Belle read the odd words out loud, and tapped Applejack, making more of her angry wounds fade away. "Uh, that works too. Thanks." The scroll fell to ash, making a little pile on the floor. "One use."
Apple Bloom pointed at the two other scrolls. "What's on tha other ones?"
Applejack tucked them away. "One's a spell ah want ta copy later, called 'magic missile'. The other one looks dreadful complicated and sounds powerful. With a name like 'fireball', ya figure it's something interesting and burny. Near as ah can figure, it'll set a whole room on fire."
Sweetie tilted her head. "They sure do have a lot of bad magic in this world."
Apple Bloom shrugged. "Works both ways. They got that healing song magic you have, and can bring a pony back ta life, or kill 'em twice as fast."
Sunflower looked from one pony to the next. "Uh, where are you from again? You sound way too surprised about basic stuff."
Applejack waved a hoof. "Long story. Scoots, how's it coming?"
Scootaloo closed the book and nodded. "Ready. Where's the book you want me to read?"
Applejack reclaimed Twilight's book and replaced it with the new one. "Maybe ah should get in the habit of doing that 'just in case' stuff."
Scootaloo spoke the words of understanding and began leafing through the book. "Huh... It's... about some kingdom of dur-ow, drow? I don't know what that is. The years are all off, so I don't know how long ago this was." She flipped ahead. "Talks about rituals and day-to-day stuff. Are we looking for something specific?"
Applejack shook her head. "Nothing specific. Maybe it's worth something to ah collector, take it. Let's get a move on." They started forward, with Apple Bloom and Sunflower taking their trapfinding positions. As they were about halfway down the tunnel, the sound of stone against stone became deafening as both ends of the tunnel came crashing down, two walls falling from above to seal them in. "Uh..."
Apple Bloom tilted her head. "I didn't see any traps..."
Scootaloo gestured at the dead end before them. "And yet?"
Sunflower hurried forward to the end of the hallway and began looking a the wall, pawing over it frantically for an exit, his breath rough and eyes wide. Sweetie did a slow circle in place while Scootaloo moved back for the rear wall to have it a look over. Apple Bloom moved beside Sunflower, looking around, but mostly at the cat himself. "You alright?"
"No, I mean, yes. I'll be fine. We just have to find out how to make this... open."
Apple Bloom raised a brow. "Ya don't sound fine. What's wrong?"
Applejack asked from a few feet away. "Are ya scared of being trapped?"
"I'm not scared!" Sunflower thudded a small paw against the wall. "Open, Sun King blast it!"
A soft trickling noise brought all their attention to the center of the tunnel where water began to flow. It was a dribble at first, but was quickly accelerating, becoming a torrent of water that threatened to flood the tunnel. Sunflower wailed in terror, and the Crusaders only looked marginally better.
Applejack pointed upwards. "There!" There was a tunnel heading into the wall, but it was too high to reach. Scootaloo discovered that taking flight while being rapidly submerged was nowhere as easy as it looked. Applejack cast a quick spell, fins appeared along her legs and hooves. "Everypony grab on tight."
Everyone grabbed ahold of Applejack, wrapping legs around her as she began to lift with the water, treading the water easily. "Y'all gonna need ta hold yer breath when we get to that tunnel. Just hold on as tight as ya can. We'll make it through this." Sunflower's desperate grip had the extra delight of little claws sinking into her flesh. Applejack winced but stoically accepted it, watching as that tunnel crept ever closer.
She took the deepest breath she ever took then plunged forward just as the water began to fill the tunnel. It turned into a downward slant a short way in, causing then to slip downwards like the water slide it was. They were all screaming as Applejack tried vainly to see where they were headed. The slide ended in more water, and Applejack kicked forward, paddling through the darkness and tapping at the ceiling and walls to find an exit. It was too dark to see, and she didn't dare open her mouth to cast a spell.
Doubts ran wild in her mind. Why did she ever agree to take the foals here? They'd all die in an ancient sewer and her friends would never forgive her for letting them come to harm. Her hoof fell forward as she found a new tunnel and she darted through it with her precious cargo, having no idea if it led to freedom or just more watery tunnels. Her spell-enhanced lungs ached for breath and she feared for the foals relying on her that had no such advantage. Apple Bloom suddenly slipped and Applejack doubled back to grab her and rush forward. Apple Bloom wasn't moving. Fear pounded through her. She couldn't lose Apple Bloom, not like this!
With a terrific splash, Applejack emerged from a pipe in a dark room to open air. She sailed forward with momentum, starting to fall quickly. She fell through the darkness before landing heavily on what felt like cobblestone. She heard a few groans of pain, and they were like sweet whispers of angels. It meant they were alive. She set Applebloom down and listened close. No breathing. Light suddenly flared up from Sweetie Belle. Applejack pointed at the still Apple Bloom. "Save 'er!"
Sweetie approached quickly, slipping on the water-slickened stone before she came to a haphazard rest beside Apple Bloom. A quick singsong intonation and a touch and Apple Bloom curled up, coughing up an impressive amount of water. She drew a harsh gulp of air and started to breathe raggedly. "Did we make it?"
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Not an error per se, but the use of "hallways" twice like that is cumbersome. I'd change that first instance of the word to "paths."
The "largely-rotted" collection.
Okay, technically "spellbook" isn't a compound word, but Pathfinder treats it as one, so you should probably make it one here.
Capitalize Applejack's name.
"Singsong" is a compound word.
She started to "breathe" raggedly.
5904899 Fixes, fixes everywhere!
5904923 With the focus being squarely on the adventuring this chapter, the stakes have been upped considerably now that the team can't simply retreat and replenish their magic at their leisure. I personally approve of this change, since (as I noted before) I don't care for the so-called "fifteen-minute adventuring day." It'll be interesting to see what happens when the group can't sit back and replenish their spells...particularly since there's nothing to suggest that their spellbooks were waterproof.
The name-dropping of the drow is worrying, simply because the group is far from prepared to face dark elves, especially on their home turf. While I suppose they could handle a small party of neophytes (scouts, perhaps?), anything more is likely to overwhelm them, especially if they use their archetypal knock-out poison on crossbow bolts. Hopefully, they were mentioned in that old book simply as a way of explaining why an old tomb filled with humanoid undead was to be found below a purrsian city (though drow don't, in most worlds, tend to mummify their dead).
My initial reaction to the trap that the group fell into was that it was something that was being actively deployed against them, rather than something they stumbled into. Here, however, I suspect that's my own paranoia getting the better of me - far more likely was that they simply failed to find that particular trap, and have paid the price for it.
In terms of characterization, it was good to see the ghoul issue be so quickly and easily resolved. When the group wouldn't give it a free pass, it tried to bolt, which removed any moral issues with destroying it. It was not only a clean way to wrap things up, but a believable one as well; ghouls are hardly models for undead that one can parley with.
So Sunflower has claustrophobia? I wonder how much of that comes from what happened with the train to Yi Sheng. What was more notable, at least to me, was how Apple Bloom was the one to notice his deteriorating condition when he realized that they were trapped. While circumstantial, I feel like this plays into the idea that she's interested in him (even if she doesn't seem to have realized it yet), and so is keeping watch over him more closely than the others are.
It was slightly amusing to see Sunflower get a glimpse of the world that these ponies come from. He fits into the group so well that it's hard to remember that he doesn't really know them very well, and so it was surprising when the first appearance of a clash of cultural backgrounds was exposed. Having said that, I can't seem to consider that issue as one that'll be very notable in their budding relationship(s), simply because the differences between values and attitudes in Everglow versus Equestria are, for the moment, less important than them figuring out how they feel about each other.
Those issues will still come up, of course; it's going to be a rough patch when Sunflower eventually decides that he wants all of them to be his girlfriends, simultaneously. However, that's not something I see happening in the immediate future, simply because of how young they all are. Simply put, questions of "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" labels are things that characters usually worry about when they're teenagers, and neither Sunflower nor the CMC are there yet...and likely won't ever be, in the context of this fic. Their entire character arcs, where their budding romance is concerned, is going to be simply figuring out how they feel. How to act on those feelings honestly seems like it's going to be beyond the scope of this fic (that's not even taking into account the fact that the CMC want to go back to Equestria, particularly Sweetie Belle).
But this is me geeking out over the young love plot-line again; for the moment, the focus is on safety and survival.
5904648 Just remember they're minors.
5905096 The show authors don't forget it either. They roll their eyes mightily at the many many suggestions to ship the CMC they likely run into.
5905126
5905096 I wouldn't let questions of whether or not they're minors set boundaries for what makes a good story. One of the best chapters of "A Dangerous Sparkle" was the scene where Fluttershy was tortured, simply because of how much it defied expectations in favor of making for gripping reading.
5905096
5905135 That was a gripping scene, but there are lines in the sand. I will not be doing any scenes involving the CMC doing more than giving an innocent kiss or a hug. They are minors, and that's an extremely hot-button topic.
5905140 Thank you.
o'
An obsessive-compulsive bookworm wizard princess with god-like powers. Only her morality and previous acquaintance with the offenders stand between them and terrible vengeance.
How are they screaming underwater? If they surfaced during that sequence, you didn't say so.
5905152 They entered a tunnel like this
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The water had just gotten into it, so they were above it while they were slipping down the chute, hence the landing in more water later. If they were underwater to start, they wouldn't land 'in' water, cause they'd already be there.
5905140 If you don't want to write any such scenes because you don't want to write anything heavier than that with such young characters, more power to you. I'm absolutely in favor of authors writing whatever they're moved to write, without having to justify their decisions to anyone else.
That said, that principle also holds with regard to not writing something because you're worried that some readers would find it too "hot-button." You don't have any responsibility to make sure that your works of fiction respect other people's sense of morality. Write what you want to write, and don't let fear of anyone else's moral outrage keep you from doing so.
5905172 If you don't care what your readers want, you don't publish it.
5905181 "The writer's only responsibility is to his art." -William Faulkner
Saying that you shouldn't publish something if you don't care about what your readers want is the sentiment of a panderer, not a writer.
5905217 Dedication to "art" is a common crutch favored by people who lack the talent to create anything of value. They claim to be misunderstood to cover up the fact that they suck.
5905240 Claiming that something "sucks" is a common crutch favored by people who lack the wisdom to find value in something that they don't personally like. They claim that it's of inherently-poor quality to cover up their own small-mindedness.
5905244 If no-one finds an item valuable, it has no value.
5905246 Luckily no single person, or particular group - no matter how numerous and/or how vocal they are - gets to decide what "no one" finds value in. That's up to every individual for themselves, accountable to no one else.
5905246
5905248 You two are adorable. When does the kissing start?
5905258 EW! *exaggerated spitting and face scrubbing*
5905258 Hmm, albedo does look a lot like Twilight...
5905258 I get your point though. We were way off topic. Again.
It's not *that* long of a story.
5905246 That means it's priceless!
...according to that one crazy guy in Dragon Age 3.
5905285 Not helping.
Hmm. Curious. A bit of drow history? Well, they're probably not going to get anything interesting out of it now. Not unless it's waterproof.
Also, Applejack may not have left spell unprepared, but she did think ahead to an astonishing degree. Who would think of readying an amphibious effect in a desert?
In any case, the party may have survived, but they're going to need to find their way out of wherever they turned up. That may prove tricky...
Also, in all the rush, they picked up a typo:
Appearing.
5905418 Fixed! And she has Animal Aspect memorized, which is very adaptable! It's a super flexible spell, which is why she keeps it handy. One spell that covers climbing and swimming and a few other tricks? Yes please.
5905434
Ah, I should've known. I'm a sucker for any polymorph effect, but that one's quite awesome.
Thats a long way to drop into a dungeon when youve already used supplies and you still have to find a way back out.
How many multiple use spell, artifacts, effects are there? I mean, havng something available to deal with a problem that shouldnt even be possible where you are? Thats impressive.
Trouble is, what sort of average level 4 squad monsters do they have own here. Some of the examples in the pathfinder presets make my head hurt with all the stuff they have.
wow this chapter is fast and hits hard. hold on every pony this is going to be a rough ride.
Harts Fire
5905443 it's always good idea to have a few spells that are not just for attacking and AJ is the type to think of that.
Oh boy, a Drow tomb. Have fun with the spider themed monsters that are probably waiting...
A water trap? In the middle of the desert?
5905434 why thy so dumb, everyone knows that you trick the evil monster into giving you info before you kill it