Apple Bloom, once she was dismounted from Applejack, began looking around the room in a slow circling patrol. "Nopony move." She paused after several minutes of searching and pointed. "Ah see a pressure plate or somethin'."
Sunflower suddenly approached. "Where? I'll take care of it."
Apple Bloom tilted her head in confusion. "Ya know how ta work with traps? When'd ya learn that?"
Sunflower arrived at the spot Apple Bloom had indicated and pulled out a few thin wires, getting to work with his deft little fingers. "Some of my friends are very naughty cats..."
Scootaloo tilted her head. "What kind of friend shows you how to do that?"
"Very naughty ones." Sunflower hopped back up to his paws. "All fixed."
Sweetie huffed softly. "They don't sound like the kind of cats we want to be around."
Sunflower shrugged. "You're more fun if that's what you're asking. Come on, let's go!" He moved to the door beside the plate and began pushing against it. Fire exploded in a jet from the door and the small kitten wheeled out of the way in a roll that almost defied physics.
Applejack called out, "Ya OK?!"
Sunflower was soon on his paws again, shaking himself out. "I'm OK! Just a little crispy."
Sweetie Belle approached and gently banished the scorches Sunflower got with a sweet note of her song magic. "Please be more careful."
Scootaloo grinned. "That's good news!"
Applejack tilted her head at Scootaloo. "How do ya figure?"
Scootaloo pointed to the slightly-ajar door. "Why would you put a trap, no, two traps, on somewhere that doesn't have anything?"
Apple Bloom bobbed her head. "Good point! Let's go find our treasure. Now don't touch anything! Let me look first." She trotted to the front and looked over the door before nudging it open carefully. The hallway beyond was about ten feet wide and extended well beyond the reach of their lights. Sweetie advanced beside Apple Bloom and sent her motes forward, revealing the hallway, and its inhabitants.
Several skeletal purrsians turned towards them, mouths open in silent hisses. Their wings flared in an odd display of bones as they began to approach. Applejack immediately lunged into action, practically leaping over the smaller fillies and moving towards the threat. "Ah can handle these things." One gave a powerful leap forward, only for Applejack's hoof to catch it and slam it into the ground, crushing the bone into the dust it came from. "Sticks an' stones. Mah hooves are a mighty fine replacement fer stones."
The other skeletons closed the distance and swiped at her, but her new chain shirt proved effective against their swipes, turning aside the reaching claws. Applejack spun around and lashed out with her powerful hind legs, sending the two back where they came from and shattering them on the door at the end of the hall. "All clear."
Apple Bloom stepped up beside Applejack and held out a hoof, for it to be met by her big sister. "Good job, sis! Ya sure showed them." Her progress slowed to a crawl as she inspected the hallway bit by bit after Applejack's location.
Applejack tilted her head. "Why so slow after me?"
Apple Bloom peeked over her shoulder. "If there were any traps before you, you'da hit them already."
Applejack didn't like that logic, but couldn't fight it either. She huffed and watched Apple Bloom, ready to move again.
Sunflower darted out between Applejack's legs and joined Apple Bloom in looking around. It didn't make it any faster, but two sets of eyes couldn't hurt.
Sunflower pointed. "Ah ha!"
Apple Bloom blinked at the spot he pointed at. "What? Ah don't see nothing."
Sunflower nodded. "Well, you see... when my friends wanted to get something, sometimes it was guarded by magic. That's magic. I know it." He pulled out his collection of wires and a few hooks. "I'll have this taken care of in two shakes of a tail."
Sweetie Belle looked over her shoulder and twitched her tail twice. It took five shakes before Sunflower was finished. When he was, the hallway before him flashed brightly, then went dull. "All done!"
Scootaloo gave a soft whistle. "You're more handy than I thought you'd be."
Sunflower wriggled his fingers. "That's because I have hands." All ponies present rolled their eyes.
They arrived at the door and inspected it before pushing it open to reveal a large mausoleum. There was an enormous casket on a raised dais with smaller caskets lining the walls. They weren't shaped like purrsians, or ponies. They were clearly bipeds, like a human or an elf. Applejack and the others advanced to have a look at the room. "Ah don't like tha look of this."
Sweetie shook her head. "Me neither, but if I was going to hide my treasure, this isn't a bad place for it."
Apple Bloom and Sunflower stepped into the room and began to look around when several of the caskets shoved their way open. Skeletal humanoids ambled out of them as the main casket disgorged a human wrapped in bandages. Sunflower suddenly froze in place, gaping at the bandaged figure. Apple Bloom grabbed Sunflower by the scruff and fled with him behind Applejack.
Applejack summoned her protective disc as she hunkered down to receive the attack of the undead. "Come on, ya varmints. Ya ain't getting past me!"
The skeletons were quick to oblige Applejack. They proved tougher than the purrsians in the hallway, but only by a small degree. Applejack was handling herself well when the bandaged one approached and she froze up in place, staring at it with a sudden abject terror.
Sweetie sang a melody of hope, but it had little effect on the frozen Applejack. Scootaloo moved to the fore as Sunflower and Apple Bloom pulled Applejack away with some effort. With her burning rapier, Scootaloo began wildly carving into the skeletons, shattering one of them into bits as the others scraped her delicate hide with dusty claws.
Sunflower rushed up to fight alongside Scootaloo. What he lacked in raw power, he made for in speed, acrobatically leaping past the skeletons and dashing them with swift mace blows to their backs. They were holding their own quite well until the bandaged one arrived, grabbing Sunflower by the scruff and throwing him violently against one of the caskets. The cat slumped to the ground where he struck, bleeding quietly.
Apple Bloom threw a bomb at the figure, and it roared in pain as flames licked at its dry bandages. "If ya got fire, it doesn't seem ta like that!"
"Fire, got it!" Scootaloo ignored the two remaining skeletons in favor of engaging the larger menace, driving her rapier into its unliving flesh.
Applejack suddenly shook free of the terror that had seized her up and drove a hoof down on a skeleton creeping up on Scootaloo. "None o' that! Sweetie, can ya reach Sunflower? He's hurt!"
Sweetie shook her head violently, but didn't reply with words, still singing her song.
Applejack let out a soft sigh and surged forward. The larger undead slammed into her as she barreled past, leaving a bruise but not keeping her from quickly reaching the fallen kitten.
Sweetie approached Scootaloo, mending the worst of the scratches she'd received in her battle. Though her song spoke of bravery, she was shaking like a leaf.
Scootaloo gave a quick thanks as she ducked under a lunge of a bandaged hand. She stabbed upwards into the dry arm. A bomb sailed past the creature, catching it in its explosive burst. Scootaloo grinned with confidence just a moment before a hand swatted her aside. She crashed against the wall and collapsed to the ground, rapier going out along with her consciousness.
Apple Bloom grabbed up the rapier and held it up towards the creature, shivering in her own fear. "Come on... Ah can take ya..."
"Hey! Big n' ugly!" The mummy turned to face the hindquarters of Applejack. She lashed out her hooves with a mighty cry, catching it in a terrible double buck, electricity crackling over its unliving form. It sailed over Apple Bloom's head and crashed to the ground, unmoving. Sunflower rushed over to it a moment later, pummeling its still form with his mace for good measure.
Sweetie rushed for Scootaloo's prone form and sung her back to wakefulness, cradling her dear friend tight. Scootaloo jerked awake and looked around. "Did we win?"
Apple Bloom spat out the rapier before bobbing her head. "We did! That was..."
"Intense!" said Scootaloo. "Rainbow Dash woulda been so proud of me."
Applejack raised a brow a little. "Ah'm proud of ya right now, Scoots. Y'all did mighty fine."
Sweetie Belle shoved Scootaloo out of her lap. "Intense?! You almost died!"
Scootaloo tilted her head. "But I didn't. We did it, together. We were great!"
Apple Bloom raised a hoof towards her big sister. "Ya saved mah flank, thanks!"
Applejack met the hoof. "Ah'd rather not have ta, but yer welcome. Is everypony OK?"
A chorus of affirmatives echoed to her and Applejack turned to start exploring the room all the undead spilled out of. "Well, we might as well have a look around in here, but ah motion we call it a day after this. Sweetie, how ya holding up fer song magic?"
Sweetie shook her head. "No more healing, but I can still sing."
Apple Bloom pointed at her bandoleer of potions. "I have healing potions. Applejack, why don't ya take one, in case?"
Applejack moved to accept the offer, claiming one of her potions to tuck away for later.
Sunflower suddenly gave a triumphant cry. He was holding an amulet in his paws. "Look! I bet it's worth a million gold! The dead human was wearing it."
Scootaloo pointed to the ground. "Put it down and I'll look it over." Sunflower rushed over to do just that, and a quick spell allowed Scootaloo to inspect its magic. "It's... for bucking things real good, or punching, or kicking, or biting."
Applejack tilted her head, then reached for it. She soon had a new fashion accessory dangling around her neck. "Well until we sell it, might as well enjoy it. No wonder that thing was hitting so hard."
Apple Bloom pointed at Applejack. "Didn't it hit you?"
Applejack glanced at her side. "Well, yeah, but it'll take more'n that ta keep yer big sis down!"
They began searching the rest of the room, sifting through the scattered bones and peeking into the many caskets.
Sweetie Belle spotted something in the larger casket and with a pull of her magic, she gently extracted a bit of silk clothing that had resisted rot over the ages. "Look at this!" Without waiting for permission, she casually slipped out of her clothes and into the new dress and looked herself over. "It fits me perfectly!"
Scootaloo blinked at Sweetie. "Why did you just do that? Stand still, let me see if it's magic." She inspected the clothing on her friend and nodded. "Try thinking of it as some other design."
Sweetie clopped her hooves excitedly. "I knew it was special!" Her dress changed at her mental command, cycling through a few different patterns she had seen her sister use in dressmaking. "This is amazing!" Sweetie's gloomy attitude seemed to melt with the simple joy of experimenting with her new silk dress. It seemed whichever way she wore it, it accentuated her figure subtly. "Do we have to sell it? It makes me extra pretty."
Apple Bloom giggled at Sweetie's antics. "Yer not old enough to be lookin' for a special somepony yet. Whattaya need to be extra pretty fer?"
Scootaloo waved it off. "What's wrong with being pretty? It runs in her family."
Sweetie bobbled her head at Scootaloo. "Rarity would just die to have one of these. I want to show it to her!"
Applejack shook her head slowly with an amused expression. "Well ah reckon ya can keep it fer now. We won't settle on what has ta go until we're done."
The subject of this sentence changes in the middle. I recommend:
"One gave a powerful leap forward, only for Applejack's hood to catch it and slam it into the ground, crushing the bone into the dust it came from."
o'
a
yer
5894167 My accents need a bit of work, clearly. Thanks!
Poor Sweetiebelle. There's no shame in undead giving you the willies. I was expecting Sunflower to have trouble with Despair, but it was funny that AJ fell for it too. The mummy hit Sunflower, Scoots and AJ, I hope nopony contracted mummy rot.
Oh boy, poor Applejack. My meta-sense is tingling.
hum this is looking a bit dangerous.
every one cam out alive witch is good.
Harts Fire
is sweetie new dress she found the one on the art cover for this?
I kind of want to see concept art of the things they found cause it cool sounding!
Sunflower is proving his rogue chops nicely. Finding traps and flanking patsies. Good for him! Still, I wonder what the story of this tomb is. Mummies don't show up for no reason. There's history here...
5894187
I'm pretty sure a minute has elapsed since the hits, and no one's flesh seems to be unraveling under the effects of a cursed disease. I think they're in the clear.
Also, one typo's still lurking about the ruins:
"Yer," in Apple vernacular.
5894551 Fixed, and it's a good thing they're taking 20s on searching with his whole +1 perception. Still, he knows how to spot magic traps and Apple Bloom does not. He's already useful!
One has to wonder about his choice of friends that taught him this stuff, however.
Its a 10 foot by 10 foot corridor, with skeletons and mummy.
Mummy?
Go on then, have a hug.
The "slightly-ajar" door.
I really feel like Apple Bloom should say "Ah" don't see nothing.
That should be "Ah'm."
5898189 All fixed, thankee!
A straightforward action chapter, you did a good job of keeping the action crisp and easy to follow. Writing fight scenes can be tricky, but I didn't have any problems keeping up with who was doing what.
It was interesting to see that Sunflower seems to have a bit of a checkered background, especially since he knows that some of his old friends were naughty cats. Still, it's nice that there's more to him than bluster and fluff, particularly since he's quickly proving his usefulness to the team overall. I'm a little surprised that more wasn't made of him wielding a disruption weapon against the undead; those things really should have been exploding a bit more as he was whacking them. Also, did Sweetie Belle just strip naked in front of him for a moment when she was changing into her magic dress?
Speaking of Sweetie, there seems to be a bit of a schism developing within the Crusaders about how they're approaching Everglow. Scootaloo honestly seems to be enjoying the action and adventure, even when it becomes frightening, whereas Sweetie Belle only seems to be more and more upset by it. Apple Bloom seems to be falling somewhere in the middle. While it's nothing to be concerned about so far, I can't help but wonder how these different outlooks about the world they're in are going to continue to develop. At some point, differences of attitude could very well become differences of philosophy, and those tend to test friendships...all the more so if they turn into differences about tactics or courses of action. Hopefully the trio will work through things and emerge stronger for it.
5898219 Scootaloo is destined to be a daredevil of some sort, and idolizes the wild stunts of Rainbow Dash. Danger is right up her alley, especially when she has agency and can rise above it. Coming out on top after such a scary battle is, as she said it, intense.
Sweetie Bloom does not have this attitude. The dress perked her up a little at least.
I don my armor of Fortification against Typos!
leaving a bruise but not keeping her from quickly reaching the fallen kitten.
If that was a mummy, it's got more, AJ. Mummy Rot is not fun, especially for a cash-strapped, low-level group. Looks like the mummy picked up and threw Sunflower and Scootaloo, so they might escape the curse/disease.
Maybe a bit of silk clothing
What are you, a clothes-horse?
I think the typos were scared of the Mummy, as they seem to have fled this chapter.
5901462 Understandable, mummies are serious business.
Oi, Sweetie... You do not put on magic items til a mage gets a chance to look them over... Also, everyone remember to check yourselves for mummy rot.
I can't find an explanation of how Sunflower got healed. Sweetie indicated that she couldn't, Applejack broke past the undead to fetch him, and next thing you know he's up and about again. Either I've mis-read something, or something's missing.