13 - Tell It to Me Straight
Longtail had departed to take care of affairs brought about by the attack, leaving Applejack and the others behind. Apple Bloom looked up at AJ. "Enough dawdlin'. Ah know it's not a good thing, but what happened?"
Applejack shook her head, "There ain't no reason for ya to know. Go on and play."
Apple Bloom glanced aside at Scootaloo, who nodded and spoke in solidarity. "We can't 'go and play' until we're home."
Sweetie Belle suddenly grabbed Sunflower by the forepaw in her mouth, tugging him away. He went with her and soon they were across the courtyard, out of earshot.
Apple Bloom gestured after Sweetie Belle. "There, Sweetie's gone. Not that there's nothing wrong with her, but ah don't think she wants ta hear it. But ah do! Stop treating us like little fillies."
Applejack mustered to full height, towering over Apple Bloom. "Ya are little fillies! Ah mean ta return ya home still as little fillies. Ya don't need to hear 'bout that kinda thing."
Scootaloo crossed her forelegs and squatted on her haunches. "Well I want to know what's going on! This isn't Equestria, AJ. I mean... I appreciate having you around. You're awesome! But what if you're not there? I want to know."
Applejack tipped her hat forward over her eyes and sank. "Fine... Whoever done killed Willow went through tha' effort of clean carving out her heart." Applejack shuddered. "It was a most unkind killing, uh, not that there are many kind ones."
Apple Bloom raised a hoof, "Ya done pummeled those kobolds?"
Applejack frowned and shuffled. "Ah did... but they were fighting back. They had a chance. Poor Willow was sleeping in bed right snuggled up beside her kitten... If a kobold stopped and gave up, ah woulda left it alone. Willow didn't get that chance." She shook herself out. "Do ya really think Ahm as bad as the assassin?"
Scootaloo quickly shook her head. "No way! You're awesome, Applejack!" She launched herself into the air, landing on Applejack's back easily. "We're just trying to understand."
Apple Bloom nodded slowly as she glanced across the way to Sweetie and Sunflower. "Yeah... What are we gonna do now? That was the same big fella that tried ta foalnap us before. Ah bet he was with the same cat. Were they looking fer us?"
Applejack's expression darkened. "Maybe... Listen, girls. Ahm gonna do everything ah can ta protect all of ya."
Scootaloo hugged Applejack's head from behind. "Of course you will. We're friends. We're here for you too."
Apple Bloom bobbled her head. "We're Cutie Mark Crusaders! We won't let each other down, no matter what!"
Applejack sagged a little. "How can y'all still be so galldurn chipper after all that?"
Scootaloo suddenly stood up on Applejack's back. "I'm going to see if Lady Longtail needs any help." She spread her wings and took off in a flash, reveling in the feeling of flight despite the events of the night. Hearing voices ahead, she came for a gentle landing. Hovering proved to be a lot harder in practice than Rainbow Dash made it look.
A male voice spoke. It sounded like the butler. "The cost of reviving her would bankrupt you, madame. The savings have been going nowhere but down slowly over the years, and ten thousand coin in just the materials is enough to ruin you."
A muffled grunt, and something being knocked over, then several shattered objects. "Then I'll be ruined! If it's a choice between dying a pauper and letting one of my precious daughters lay dead, then so be it! The Sun King will smile on me, if no one else will."
Scootaloo froze a moment, then turned tail and fled back where she came from on uncertain wings. She landed beside Applejack and Apple Bloom with wide eyes.
Applejack tilted her head at Scootaloo. "Couldn't find her?"
Scootaloo shook her head quickly. "I found her. She was talking. I think she's going to sell everything to afford fixing Willow."
Applejack sunk to her haunches. "Ah... Ah would do the same, if selling the farm would bring Apple Bloom back." She reached out and pulled Apple Bloom closer. "Ah don't even wanna think about that."
Apple Bloom squirmed a little before settling into the embrace of her distressed sister. "We should help, not feel bad for her!"
Scootaloo smiled at the idea. "Yeah! I like the sound of that. How?"
Apple Bloom shrugged. "I dunno, but it mighta been our fault she was attacked at all! We could do more jobs, get more money so she doesn't haveta sell the manor."
Applejack released Apple Bloom with a heavy sigh. "Ah know that tone ah voice. You're going whether I like it or not, so Ah'll just say Ahm going too."
Apple Bloom hopped up to kiss Applejack on the nose. "Yer the best, sis. Let's get Sweetie."
They arrived shortly to find Sweetie Belle and Sunflower seated across from each other. They were clearly in discussion until the rest approached and looked up at them.
Scootaloo spoke up first, pointing towards the rest of the city. "We're going to go back to Louis and get some more jobs, make some money, and help pay to get Willow back."
Sunflower bounced to his feet. "You can fix Mom?!"
Sweetie Belle blinked at the news. "You can?"
Scootaloo nodded quickly. "I heard Lady Longtail talking about it. She can barely afford it. She's going to sell off the whole manor to do it. We shouldn't let her do that."
Sweetie Belle's expression turned hard as she looked towards the ground a moment, then pushed up to her hooves. "Alright... I'll help with that."
Sunflower thumped his chest. "I'll help too!"
Apple Bloom crossed her forelegs. "Sorry, but this is Cutie Mark Crusader business. Yer not an adventurer."
Sunflower snorted at Applebloom. "You're just a kitten like me! It's my mom! You can't stop me from helping!"
Applejack sighed softly. "Ah'd rather ya didn't, Sunflower. What will yer mother think if we bring her back and ya ain't here to greet her? We can't have ya getting hurt."
Sunflower let out an angry hiss. "She's my mother! Not yours! I can't... won't... How can you go off and do dangerous things for her and tell me not to? I'm the alpha now! I command you bring me."
Scootaloo tilted her head. "Alpha?" She slid down off of Applejack and approached the other Crusaders. "I don't think he's wrong. It is his mother we're talking about..."
Sweetie looked at Sunflower, then back at the others. "I say we make him a Crusader."
Apple Bloom huffed. "What?! He ain't even a pony! He don't got no cutie mark and never will."
Sweetie raised a hoof. "Where in the rules did we ever say they had to be a pony? He doesn't have a cutie mark, therego, he can join." She looked smugly satisfied with her logic.
Scootaloo gave a slow nod. "I think she's right. We never said Crusaders had to be ponies."
Apple Bloom went crestfallen. "You too, Scootaloo? Fine!" She pointed a hoof at Sunflower. "Yer in! But before ya get official, we have ta do an initiation."
Applejack tilted her head. "Ah don't remember none of that."
Sweetie smiled at Applejack. "Of course. You're just an honorary member. You already have your cutie mark, you can't be a crusader."
Sunflower looked excited at the news, smiling widely. "Alright! We're going to fix Mom! Uh... how?"
Scootaloo raised a hoof. "First we should talk to Lady Longtail and make sure she doesn't sell the house while we're busy." She was gone quickly.
Apple Bloom looked off in the direction Scootaloo went in. "Ah think she's enjoying her wings plenty... Alright, Sweetie? Ready to swear in Sunflower?"
Sweetie moved to stand beside Apple Bloom, nodding firmly. "We, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, elect Sunflower to join us as sis... brother, friend, etc., etc., etc., and fellow Cutie Mark Crusader! You are solemnly sworn in, here this day, in witness of your fellow sisters, confidantes, etc., etc., etc."
Apple Bloom spread her hooves wide. "Congratulations!"
Applejack nodded lightly as she sighed. "And ah get another little one ta protect. Y'all gonna drive me ta drink."
Apple Bloom stuck out her tongue at Applejack. "Ya drink already. When we get back to Equestria, ya gonna let me have a taste of that cider?"
Applejack looked ready to quickly deny, then paused. "When we get safely back home... Ah think Ah'll treat everypony to a cup."
Sweetie clopped her hooves together, voice squeaking in excitement. "Really?! I heard stories about Apple family cider."
Applejack nodded with a prideful expression. "Best darn cider this side of Equestria! Ya ain't had cider till ya had ours."
Sunflower looked confused at the exchange. "What's cider?"
Apple Bloom snorted. "What? They don't got cider 'round here?"
Scootaloo returned with Lady Longtail following her. Longtail looked to Applejack directly. "What is this I hear about you raising money?"
Applejack tipped her head. "We feel partially responsible fer all the trouble. We're gonna go and get some jobs and help ya pay ta fix Willow up good as new, so don't go selling the manor just yet. Ya deserve yer home, and she deserves to have this home ta return to."
Longtail let out a slow long breath. "And you're bringing all your foals with you?"
Sweetie pointed at Sunflower. "And Sunflower!"
Longtail's eyes widened. "What? Sunflower, get over here this instant!"
Sunflower shrank back, then fled behind Sweetie. "No! I'm not going to let these ponies work for Mom and hide here."
Longtail's tail lashed fitfully behind her. "You're not an adventurer! What do you know of defending yourself? You'll only slow them down. Now get over here, you rascal of a kitten."
Sunflower stuck out his tongue. "Make me!"
Applejack suddenly plucked Sunflower up by the scruff of his neck and dropped him in front of Longtail. An instant later, Longtail secured him. "Your mother will never forgive me if I let you come to harm, Sunflower."
Sunflower squirmed mightily in the grip, proving to be quite the pawful for the old cat. "I won't forgive me if I don't help get Mom back! Let me go!"
Scootaloo tilted her head. "Excuse me, Lady Longtail? If he hasn't tried adventuring before, how can you know if he's good at it or not? We'll make sure he stays safe, but he might turn out to be a great adventurer!"
Apple Bloom bobbed her head in agreement with this line of thinking. "Yeah! We were new at adventuring too but we're getting tha hang of it real fast!"
Lady Longtail sunk to the ground, tears staining her muzzle. "That's exactly what I'm afraid of." She released Sunflower. "There are rarely happy endings for thrill-seekers and adventurers. Please... Come back safely. Your mother will miss you too much, and your grandmother will die of grief and shame."
Sunflower staggered to his feet, then spun on Longtail. He thumped his chest. "I'll be back! Promise! We'll have so much money we'll bring back Mom and get her a great gift!"
Stats
Page generated in 0.061 seconds
Total duration
1,016 users online
2,199,434 hits today, 1,872,792 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
A career in alcoholism may be in your future.
so Sunflower is a cmc now, and going to help earn $ to save his mother. I am proud of him.
the plot thickens.
Harts Fire
By the "forepaw," perhaps?
Ah'll just say "Ah'm" going too.
He's using it as a name, so capitalize "mom" there.
That should be "ergo" he can join.
Again, capitalize "mom." Whenever it's used as a proper name, it's capitalized.
Besides capitalizing "mom," he should be saying "I won't forgive myself." (Alternately, italicize the "I" in his sentence, since that stresses that he's making a direct comparison to Longtail's rebuke of him).
"Thrill-seekers."
Capitalize "mom," one more time.
5885907 Fixes applied! You are an angel of prose.
So sunflower will fight like spike? Claws and bites? Maybe some magic, if AJ teach him?
5885998 Possibly!
The Crusaders' relentless cheer really is astonishing. I dread the day that the harsh realities of Everglow snuff out that optimism.
Assassins don't cut out hearts accidentally. Given the time it takes, this was intentional. They made it more expensive to revive Willow, knowing that Lady Longtail was softhearted enough to do it anyway. This assassination was ultimately financial in nature. Someone really doesn't like this family...
And now Sunflower has joined the party. Oh boy. This definitely isn't going to go well in the short term. In the long term? That remains to be seen.
On a happier note, I see the cover art is almost finished! Looking snazzy.
The assassins left a typo behind:
Misplaced apostrophe.
5886018 Fixed! Though I have been trying to give the impression (poorly?) that Sweetie Belle is an unhappy camper at the moment. Helping Sunflower's mother feels like the right thing to do though, and she's willing to rouse herself for that.
Apple Bloom is a ball of determined optimism. Scootaloo is a bit more towards the neutral. Flying is awesome! And Apple Bloom seems to have good ideas.
This chapter felt somewhat disjointed in its presentation of several of the issues surrounding Willow's death. The manner in which the characters are reacting feels mostly correct, but there are several little parts that feel odd (at least to me).
For one thing, I'm surprised by the degree to which the CMC are overruling Applejack at this point, especially insofar as "we're going into danger with you" goes. I can see them ignoring somepony like Fluttershy (in fact, we had an episode about that very thing), but not Applejack, the most stubborn member of the Mane Six. Given that she just saw someone be slaughtered in bed and their corpse mutilated, I'm beyond shocked that she's willing to let them adventure with her just because Apple Bloom gave her a look.
I'm aware of the counter-arguments here, along the lines of "they were just shown that they're no safer in Longtail's manse than anywhere else, so why not let them go adventuring?" But that strikes me as a false comparison; just because you're not (completely) safe in one location is no reason to go actively marching into danger. That'd be like saying that because your house has been burglarized, you might as well go walking through the bad part of town while alone at night, because there's danger either way - there are still degrees of danger to take into account.
The other argument in favor of Applejack letting the CMC adventure with her is purely narrative in its construction - that is, it's a cliche that the (overprotective) older parent-figure tells the young-but-effective one(s) to stay behind, only for them to clandestinely go out and provide some sort of vital addition to the overall quest, possibly saving the parent-figure while they do, who then realizes that she was overprotective before, and comes to accept that they can face danger together as equals.
Even if we leave aside that that's a meta-contextual reason for Applejack to consider, rather than an in-character one, it's also presumptive that the CMC would necessarily proceed along the "junior heroes play a pivotal role" route, instead of just getting themselves into more trouble. To put it another way, what would you expect to happen if a group of level 1 characters got into a fight with creatures meant to challenge a level 7 character? It'd more than likely end in tragedy. Hence why I'm having some problems seeing how easily Applejack is giving in here - it really feels like she's caving to the demands of the story, rather than sticking to her guns.
I'm also a little surprised that no one has thought to contact local law enforcement. While it's tempting to think of Murrage as a town that has absolutely no laws beyond what money can buy, I've previously made the case that they will have laws to protect basic health and safety simply because you can't have an economy if everyone feels too at risk to spend their money. Even if the local guards have serious corruption problems, Lady Longtail seems like she has enough influence/money to get some strings pulled. Surely there's something to be done insofar as criminal investigation and response goes? Even if that assassin/slaver bribed the authorities, that will only go so far, unless we're talking about a lot of money...and even that's a clue unto itself.
I'm not quite sure that I understood the point of the "initiation" rite for Sunflower. Is this a reference to the show that I just don't remember? Did Babs go through something like that? Otherwise, it seems like the point was largely to declare that the CMC were his "sisters," which is just no fun, since it gets in the way of future shipping.
I should mention that Sunflower was in fine form here. I do sort of wish that we'd gotten a description of his puffing out his fur angrily when he was insisting that he be allowed to help raise money to bring back Willow - just the thought of a tiny little kitten puffing its fur out is too adorable for words, regardless of the circumstances. I'm also somewhat curious (and a little excited) about how he was off talking to Sweetie Belle, though I doubt we'll get to know what that's about. Between his playing with Scootaloo, talking to Sweetie Belle, and what I'm sure must be a forthcoming scene where Apple Bloom talks to him about how she knows what it's like to lose one's parents, the love-square that develops is sure to be great! (I don't think I can let this particular angle go...you may need to just tune me out on this.)
The one part that seemed off was Sunflower's insistence that he was the alpha now, and so commanded them to take him along. While I suppose we can chalk it up to a combination of his youth and how upset he is, he's misapplying the term. Or rather, he's using the term correctly, but in the wrong situation - the fillies aren't part of his pride, at least not yet (maybe he thinks that because they're living in his grandmother's care?). While there's nothing about how the felinoids of Everglow use the term specifically, I'd imagine that it refers to the alpha male's immediate family (and any that accept an invitation to join), such as their children, lovers/wives, parents, and siblings. So Sunflower would be alpha, at most, of his grandmother...and given that he's still so young, and she's still pretty rich, even that wouldn't be anything more than a technicality (and a thin one at that). Maybe Sunflower could do his own "initiation" of the fillies into his pride, and they'd accept, not realizing that they'd effectively just become engaged?
That might be fun, but perhaps somewhere down the line; nothing ruins a good ship faster than, well, trying to make it happen too fast. Hopefully, the bond between Sunflower and the fillies will grow organically over time as they work together to bring his mother back.
5886053 Applejack went through this with Apple Bloom before in Somepony to Watch over Me. If she says 'No!' they'll sneak out and do it anyway, just without her there to watch them. She's painfully aware that is exactly what will happen. If she doesn't tie them up and shove them in a closet, she has no prayer of actually stopping them from escaping. They're set on going, she'd rather be a part of it and protect them than to stand in defiance and found out they all died terribly while she was sleeping or something.
Babs totally went through the initiation. I quoted the initiation even.
5886096 I love it!
Good stuff with moving the plot forward, although our heroes are going to be delayed a long time raising money here instead of journeying to the capital. The good news about Resurrection instead of Raise Dead is there is effectively no time limit, so hopefully the gang can do a lot of moderately dangerous jobs to raise the money, instead of one insane high-payout job, like killing the local blue dragon or something.
5886018 Great point on the likely motivation for the killing, assassins charge a lot extra for this. Even after they resurrect Willow, if they haven't caught whoever hired the assassin, this could just happen again. If Lady Longtail was shrewd, she would start making it look like she was planning to sell her manor anyway. If someone come comes forward with just the right amount of money to pay for a resurrection, there's your chief suspect. It's a mighty big coincidence that someone is assassinated the day after the kobolds are driven off. I wonder if somekitty sent those kobolds in the tunnels under the manor, and what they were looking for...
there you go
5886109 5886053 Applejack may be catching on to the fact that she is not actually the leader of this group, Apple Bloom is. Apple Bloom's word carries more weight with the others, and she comes up with most of the plans. Applejack's only options are to go with them or stay behind, so the only thing she can do as a protective sister is stick close to them and try to keep them alive.
5886002 ok.
Cool cover art, btw
5886180 Thanks! Sita Duncan does a lot of our lovely Ponyfinder art.
5886159 Why is everyone trying to correct Sweetie Belle? She's adorable.
5886195 She's also lucid. She might run words together in her haste, but she would still say all of them.
5886199 I'm a bit muddled now. What word(s) did she drop?
5886205
"there go" doesn't mean anything without a "you" in the middle, unless she meant to say "ergo" in which case she probably would have spelled it correctly, since vocabulary is one of her strengths.
5886252 You say that, except in the very thing I quoted for the initiation, she was tripping over a word. Stop picking on the adorable little thing.
5886258 We only correct her because we love her. It's for her own good.
Celestia's backside hasn't grown that much, I suppose less cake might help. Oh you meant the story's plot.
5886161 Applejack is too high level and is forcing the GM to put them in extra danger.
Also, they need level appropriate equipment. Yes, I know, they're level 2, but still -- none of them are even wearing armor!
Evil cult is trying to boot the last nice little old lady out of her home?
I wonder what sacrificial temple to the eldar gods her house is built over?
I think AppleJack is going to have her hooves full with three filly's and now a Kitten to look after. Lets hope she gets an extra pair of hooves closer to her age to help out.
5887620 Who would she trust at this point besides maybe Lady Longtail, who is no shape for adventuring?
5887679 This is very true, this city doesn't seam to be filled with the sort you want to trust even more so when you got a party full of young adventurers.
5887239 Are you saying they should kick AJ to the curb to lower their APL?
5886043
I think the only thing holding Apple Bloom back from being a famous mastermind is a total lack of mental discipline (and a lack of fame, I suppose).
Also, I am belatedly noticing something odd creeping into this story. Are you...planning ahead!?
5888217 I create that impression often!
In the Silver series, I used something that came up briefly 30 chapters or so beforehand. Masterfully planned! And yet not.
5889700 Tweaks applied, though I'm not removing the pause in Sunflower's speech because he did pause. Traumatized kittens don't always speak properly.
As for why she didn't come, yes? There are many reasons, starting with the fact that the butler is unlikely to rouse his elderly employer in the middle of the night unless the house is on fire.
Three sentences starting with "She." Perhaps:
She spread her wings and took off in a flash, reveling in the feeling of flight despite the events of the night. Hearing voices ahead, she came for a gentle landing.
Someone needs to take more Dashing Flyer feats! (I am very amused that Rainbow has that feat enough times to get Perfect maneuverability.)
I hope AJ and Apple Bloom don't realize that powerful enough magic could bring their parents back. While losing their parents hurt (AJ especially), they've mostly come to terms with it now. Realizing that they could come back would rip open the wounds again. Heck, if they ever come across a ring of wishes, that would do it.
Hey, given that they're in an Arabian Nights style land, perhaps they can hunt down a wish-granting genie to help Madame Longtail out.
Inspired a little by Bloom and Gloom?
Nice call back, though it should have commas:
etc., etc., etc.
No "the" before Longtail.
5889795 Fixes applied! Thankee.
AJ shares my opinion on rookie, story required, npcs. They're basically one long escort mission early on...and I hate escort missions.