"...Uh-huh. Alright. Ok, um... you wanna run that by me again? And this time, can you, ya know, actually tell me your whole spiel coherently? Instead of that improvised Courage the Dog act?" For the last twenty minutes or so, I've been laying by the forest cove I woke to nearby, listening to Ethan blabber on and on about the pretty ponies and cutie-marjigamathingies, and yadda-yadda. Strangely enough, I get a hint of dread just by being near him. Weird. Anyway, If I'm not listening, then I'm begrudgingly observing his, admittedly remarkable, fluent control over his motor and aerial skills. If you count the flapping of his wings like a startled chicken to be remarkable. "The only things I caught from your ramble was, Equestria, princess woona, and pony-pill, what exactly are you trying to tell me?"
"RRRAAAAGHHH! Ponyville! It's Ponyville! Didn't you hear a damn thing I said?!"
"You seriously want me to give you the cliqued dead-pan look right now?"
"Fucking shit Austin! Just...pay attention to me this time. Ok? You paying attention? Are you paying attention? Good. Ok, take a good long look at yourself, then at me, now remember what you saw in that valley over there. Does anything seem familiar to you? Wait, let me rephrase that... does the acronym MLP ring any bells with you?"
MLP. MLP? He said to take a look at me. I am a horse. Eyeing at Ethan, I see another horse. Looking back on that cliff I saw a bunch of tiny colorful hor-... oh god, not horses, but... ponies... MLP, My...Little...Pony. What the fuck dude. "My Little Pony? I'm dreaming about goddamn My Little Pony? What am I, nine again?"
"Woah, Woah, Woah. You actually know about MLP? Of all people I didn't think yo-... wait, did you say dream?"
"This is stupid. Ridiculous. Un-masculine! I mean, seriously? I haven't seen that damn show since its end when I was a child. It has been what, fifteen years? Why the hell am I having my first lucid dream about pretty pink ponies?"
"Back up a bit, would you? Whaddya mean this is a dream? Austin, I'm as real as it gets. All of this is real, ha, I'm not about to bull-shit myself about this, if anything, my dream has finally come true!"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"All of my life, I've had to deal with shitty people, work at shitty jobs, for shitty money, to fuel the shitty economy, run by the shitty government, to keep this fucking shitty world on a never-ending cycle of shitty-ness. I never believed I would escape this perpetual existence of hell, I could only distract myself from reality through the internet. That's where I discovered MLP, where I discovered my hope. A world of little worries, where possibilities are limitless, adventure is around every corner and a friend behind every face. Every day since then, I wished and prayed and begged to whoever or whatever I could, asking them to take me away from my problems, my hatred, my darkness, my humanity. Night and day, dusk and dawn, always on my knees, ready to be reborn anew and live a life worth living. Yet, my pleas always fell on deaf ears or nothing at all. I would continue to wake up to this shitty nightmare we call adulthood. Taxes, insurance, student loans, all that bull-shit tying me down to Earth, but I never gave up, never stopped calling out to anything that would listen, that would set my soul free, to MLP. But my wish was fiction, fantasy, the 'Sad ramblings, and desires of a kid who's lost his marbles and will die young, alone, and forgotten,' but look at me now! Look at us Austin! I did this! Me! Somebody finally heard me and answered. I couldn't believe it when I woke as an alicorn of all things! Do you think you're dreaming? Asking yourself how is this possible? Who cares, I certainly don't! This is my wish finally coming true! We are living in my reality baby! Woo!"
"Wow... I know you're a misanthropist and all, but I would choose the real you over whatever pathetic concoction you are any damn day, and that is saying something. I mean really saying something. If this version of you is from lucid dreaming, I'd hate to see a nightmare featuring you."
"Austin, c'mon man, this isn't a dream. Wake up and smell the roses."
"This isn't a dream? Says the crazy rambling apparition? Oh, how silly of me, of course, it's not a dream! This is clearly just the premier set to a movie production. Why I bet there's a bunch of secret cameras filming all around us. Where's the director? What's the screenplay about? No, wait, lemme guess, this is the MLP version of Alice in Wonderland isn't it? All we need is a Tornado, Toto and we're set right?" Deciding enough was enough, I slapped myself clean of the delirious thoughts and refocused on Dream Ethan. "Alright, that was dragging on for too long. Look, whatever the hell you are, a figment of my imagination, part of my brain, whatever, this isn't real. Done deal."
Without a moment's notice, Dream Ethan slapped me in the face, just like I did for myself, both equally hurting as much. "You felt pain just now right? You also felt pain when you slapped yourself a second ago too. Well, there you go. That's your answer, they say you're not supposed to feel pain in a dream, but guess what, you just did. So surprise-surprise, there goes that ignorant dream theory for ya."
"Pfft, You expect me to believe that, no pun intended, horse-shit? Especially in a lucid dream of all things? Look, I'm running low on patience here, so just get with the program, shut the fuck up, and listen to me."
"No, you listen here motherfu-"
"Ah! Ah! Ah! Stop, just stop. You're a figment of my dream, end of story, no more lip! Now, the real question is why am I dreaming about MLP? For the life of me, I can't remember a thing about it. You, on the other hand, seem to have quite the plethora of knowledge, and this being a dream an all, must mean that you're part of my brain that holds all of my pony memories. So please, do refresh my memory."
For a few seconds, the only response Ethan gave, was a few ruffles of his wings. "Just a second ago, you went on a rant about this being a dream about magical ponies, now you're asking me to recap the whole series?"
"Yes I am, I don't remember a thing about it, so maybe it's about war or an invasion and they have to fight against...uh rain-deer or elk or something. For my sake, I'm giving the benefit of the doubt. So like I said, recap, now."
"MLP is about six ponies, who through certain circumstances, come into contact and become the avatars of the Elements of Harmony, they're Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Princess Twilight Sparkle. Together they have saved Equestria time and again from ancient evils or dark magical creatures through the power of friendship. The story revolves around them and their little escapades in the town of Ponyville, not pony-pill."
Christ, it is worse than I thought, then again what did I expect from the title My Little Pony? "That's it? No wars or battles or anything dark or grim?"
"What did you expect from the tit-"
"Yeah, yeah, I already sai-"
"Stop Cutting me off asshole!"
"...Right...well as I was going to say, that's gay. So where are we?"
"In the magical Kingdom of Equestria, co-ruled by sisters Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, but specifically, a forest called Whitetail Woods, west of Ponyville I think. Had I known what was to happen to us, I'd expect to be in the Everfree Forest instead, f-for reasons."
"Alrighty, next thing, what the hell kind of mutant horse are we?"
After asking that particular question, a certain depth of flair and pizazz could be detected by Austin, from Ethan. "Why only the literal best kind. Like I said before, we are called alicorns. Aside from you or me, and depending on where we are in the timeline, there are only four or five other alicorns in existence: Princess Celestia or Tia, Princess Luna or Lulu, Princess Cadence, and the aforementioned Princess Twilight. Princess Flurry Heart too, maybe. There have never been any male alicorns on the show ever, *cough* except Big Mac but that was only in a dream sequence *cough*, and in case you couldn't tell by their names, the others are all female! I'm detecting some hot single ladies in our area, wink-wink."
"Really relevant here Romeo. What else is there to alicorns besides the whole royalty schtick?"
"Well, Like I said we're called alicorns, which are a rare species of po-"
"Yeah no, not being called that, like ever. I am officially declaring myself a horse from here on out, however long that lasts. You were saying?"
"...Goddamn, you Austin...*sigh*, as I was saying, they are a rare species of ponies that have inherited all the traits of the pony tribes: Strength from the earth ponies, Magic of the unicorns, and flight from the pegasi, but like dialed to eleven, I think. The last thing is that we're immortal, Ageless."
"Jesus! They added the aspect of immortality to a child's cartoon!? Are we also Invincible?"
"Uh, I don't know? What's got your britches in a twist?"
"Nothing! Never mind." Calm down, this is just a dream. What a horrible way to live though. Trying to redirect my focus away from dark thoughts, my mind reflects back upon the ease of maneuvers that Ethan possessed, "How did you do all that stuff earlier? Ya know, the whole walking and flying thing you did so easily? These wings are boneless and my legs are made of Jell-O."
"Oh, so that's why you've been laying there, thought you were taking a long rest or something. I was in the same situation you are now when I woke up, legs-wise. If there's one thing I've learned watching all those nature documentaries, it's that animals like horses or giraffes must learn to walk immediately after birth, or else they dead. Luckily for you, we're in Whitetail, so you're in no immediate danger. It's gonna take you a minute or two to get the walking down. Your wings though? I have no idea, they should be folded against your body when not in use like mine, but they look limp. You land on them wrongly or what?"
"I don't have a clue, woke up with them like this. Whatever, help me up would ya?"
Ethan somehow used his wings like hands and pulled me up from the ground. My legs shook like I needed to go badly. "Ok Austin, what you need to learn is to use your legs in a certain pattern. What I use is my front left leg first, then my back right leg, followed by my-"
~Rumble, Rumble, Rumble, Clip, Clop, Clip, Clop, Clip, Clop~
Out of the blue, the sound of dozens of hooves trotting could be heard to our right beyond a thicket of trees.
"Sounds like the running is about finished over there; Let's get you walking fast so we can catch up to the princesses."
Hold the phone. "Woah, what? What do you mean catch up?"
"Right, you don't know. The "Running of the Leaves" is Princess Celestia's favorite event, or was it the season? If she's there, then maybe so is Luna. Twilight and her friends are without a doubt there as well, if we hurry up, we can catch up to them before they head to Ponyville! Not like it matters much if we miss them though, as we'll be heading to Ponyville regardless."
"And why the hell would I do that?"
"Because it's Ponyville. Shit goes down there all the time, a couple of never before seen alicorns walking into town might be strange at first to them, but they'll give a hearty welcome, plus we'll be treated to a personal Pinkie Pie surprise party and I'm just dying to have it now. But that's not all, there's also Twilight and her friends! The. Mane. Six! Not to mention Tia and Lulu, all together in one place. Don't give me that look, do I need to paint a damn picture for you? A whole town full of young, single, and ripe women ready to mingle, and here comes two young, handsome, rare, and single alicorn stallions fresh from out of town, it's a ship-fic harem just begging to happen among so many other reasons! That's why!"
Dude, "I...I...I can't even. I just can't even with you right now. Jesus, I didn't realize I held so much resentment for you that I'd dream of you being a zoophile of all things. There's no way in hell that I'm going with you to Ponyville or to anywhere else in this magical rainbow and sunshine horsey dreamland."
"This is Equestria. Dream or not, everywhere is horsey land. Hey! Where the hell are you" -~Thud~-, "uh attempting to go?"
Making an exit, I was. Fail at it, I did. The surprise horse breakfast of grass and dirt in my mouth was a testament to my current motor control. "Pfft! Pfft. You remember the movie Caroline right? Trick question you're me or part of me. Anyway, I walk far enough, I'll escape pony land and go somewhere more my style. You wanna chase some dream tail that's fine by me." Struggling to hold up myself, I limp myself away from the sound of hooves, from the craziness of this insanely weird dream, one shaky leg at a time. "But no way in hell am I sticking around here or you a second longer, rainbows always have an end, and I'm finding it. If I find a pot of gold it's all mine, finders fee and all." With that, I took my shaky leave, ready to put all this girly crap behind me.
"Ya know what? Fuck it. Why the hell should I care what the fuck happens to you? You're just the final reminder of a life I despised with all of my being. I don't know how or why we are in MLP, but I sure as shit ain't looking a gift horse in the mouth!"
Just before entering the canopy of trees, I take one last glance back. Ethan can be seen flying off towards the valley, towards the ponies and their town. Sure hope that's the last time I see him here. With enough time wasted, I begin my leisure hobble away from the ponies, from Ethan, from everything, destination unknown.
The gentle rain of the gold dipped leaves, the rainbow-esque waves of crowned trees all around the valleys and hills, the cool and gentle scent traveling through the wind that carried the musky-sweet smell of the earth, ah yes, these were the reasons Fall was one of Princess Celestia's favorites. This year, she had the opportunity to arrive earlier than ever to experience and enjoy the wonders of this cooling season with her little ponies. "The Running of the Leaves," a yearly tradition enacted by the quaint town of Ponyville to help transition the seasons within the Whitetail Woods of Equestria. Princess Twilight and her friends were well underway with the event when she arrived, leaving the Princess alone to simply relax and enjoy the sweet season, if only the same could be said for her dear sister, who had finally arrived in time just as the last of the contestants were reaching the finish line. "You're late sister, I was beginning to think you wouldn't show."
"Dreadfully sorry, dear sister, but the night's duties were most resilient than ever. Please, accept my humble apology for not sooner attending this festivity celebrating the season of decay and rot, the marking of the coming chill of winter most reminiscent of the time of the windigos, and above all else, the shower of golden sun-kissed leaves, spreading your infinite glory to all from above. I can recall as to why this is your favorite season now."
"*sigh* Luna, I didn't invite you along for what little time we have only to spend it bickering amongst ourselves. Over there is Twilight and the Bearers, please sister, let us enjoy ourselves among them, times such as these are rare for us to be found in."
"Hmph, I suppose we can enjoy ourselves for the time being. Apologies for my indignation sister, let us make haste." Not today, not tomorrow, but someday soon Tia, we will have to... how do you say, iron out our issues.
With the conflict set aside, for now, Princess Celestia and Luna strolled their way to the team of ponies at the end of the race line, only to be narrowly passed by the dare-devil they call Rainbow Dash, and the plow pony known as Applejack, each tugging their race wagon respectively. Both racers finished with all their might as the distance to the end drew to a close.
"Whew-wee! I ain't never had mah heart pumping more than a jack-rabbit's being chased by a coyote!" Exclaimed Applejack as she wiped her brow with the brim of her hat.
"I've already explained to Wile E. that he can't be hunting Mr. Lepus anymore, and I am happy to announce that he's agreed to try a diet carrot and tofu supplements for a course of a moon."
"It was just an expression Fluttershy dear, Applejack was simply stating how invigorated she was, isn't she right Rainbow darling?"
"-id it, I did it, who's the Iron-Pony this year? I'm the Iron-Pony uh-huh, that's right, uh...huh? Somepony call me?"
"Rainbow, I thought you already learned that having fun with your friends matters more than the race itself?" Inquired Twilight as she strolled to her group.
"Well duh, I already knew that. It's just, I gotta put on a show for all my fans, ya know? No harm no foul."
"I suppose that as long as it's in good intentions, it's alright. Nice job out there girls, I think we can declare this year's "Running of the Leaves" to be a success!" Cheers from all around erupted upon the closing of the ceremony as a steady trickle of ponies made their way back to Ponyville. Soon enough, the Princesses reached the group exchanging greetings all around, save one pink pony.
"Say, has anypony seen Pinkie? Or Spike for that matter?" Twilight asked.
Fluttershy was the first to respond among the lot, "Spike told me he'd be heading out early to finish his chores at the castle. I believe he may be heading to Sweet Apple Acres to enjoy some guy's time with Big Mac."
"Eyup, heard Mac say he was gonna teach the little guy the 'Ins and outs of Hoofball trading cards' and all that guy's night hooey. Pinkie now? Ain't seen hide nor mane of 'er. Ya think she's still in the balloon?"
"Twilight! Twilight! Twilight!"
"You mean that balloon?" Luna proceeded to point to the pink balloon up in the sky, of which said balloon was twisting and turning and zig-zagging uncontrollably toward the group's position. What could have been a disaster was prevented by the combined magical might of the present Princesses, halting the balloon considerably before carefully placing the wreck on the soft grass.
Upon doing so, out hopped Pinkie who immediately scrambled toward Twilight. "Twilight! Twilight! Twilight!" youarenotgonnabelievewhatisawtodayatfirstIwaslikewoahnowaywhenIwaswatchingtherac-"
"Pinkie! How many times have I told you, I don't understand a word you're saying when you're talking at the speed of light. Are you hurt? What happened?"
"Were you attacked? Did some chump think they could take us on? Let me at 'em!"
"Of course I wasn't attacked, but that doesn't matter because all of you are not gonna believe what I saw in the balloon!"
"What was it?" Exclaimed Rainbow as she entered into a combat stance, "Evil baddies? Mutant zombie monsters? Aliens from outer space!?"
"Don't be silly Dashie, those are ridiculous claims! No, what I saw was stallion alicorns!"
*Chirp* *Chirp* *Chirp* "What?" Pinkie asked.
"Stallion alicorns?" Celestia repeated, followed up by Luna's question, "Just now?"
"Yeah! At first, I was watching the amazing race by Jackie and Dashie, enjoying a nice triple-layered upside-down frosted vanilla cupcake, when I noticed that Sunny Glaze and Hazel Seed were waving at me from below just after being passed by Jackie and Dashie. Except they weren't waving at me, but at a grey pony peaking his head from a bush on a cliff! That's when I realized that I had never seen this pony before so I was like 'Oooooh a new friend!' but before I could grab his attention, he backed off the cliff and went further into the forest. I lost him for a short time, but then I saw a golden pony fluttering about shouting out something I didn't hear, and I thought he was trying to say hi! But that's when I see him dive for an open spot in the forest and that's when I saw the grey pony again and then I noticed that both had horns and wings! And I was like 'Oh my gosh! Two new ponies to plan a party, but not just any party, but a royalty party!' because they were alicorns and they were stallions and there have never been alicorn stallions, so I tried to get their attention from above by dropping pies and cakes and cookies and cupcakes, but nothing worked! So then I started throwing the bags of sand but that didn't work too. That's when I noticed that the balloon was flying really high up and a bird flew into the balloon and popped goes the Pinkie. Don't worry Fluttershy, the bird's fine. Anyway, that's when I knew I had to get to Twilight because Twilight would be with the princesses and they needed to know right away!"
While most of the group was stunned by the supposed revelations of unknown alicorn royalty afoot, with little evidence to provide and with a record of Pinkie being Pinkie, a grain of salt was taken. "Pinkie," Celestia started, "While I don't dispute your claim, hopefully, you can understand our hesitation, the existence of alicorn stallions has never been recorded before."
"My sister is correct, male alicorns are but the work of fiction from many generations, to hear of a real one or two out of the blue, they say, requires more than your hearsay Pinkie."
"Oh that's no problem, when I was crashing down, I saw the golden one flying our way, he should be here right about... now!"
From above the treetop of Whitetail Woods, a gold-coated white-maned "alicorn" impacted the ground with a hearty stomp. The vigor and energy he displayed upon landing could be rivaled only by Pinkie herself. Speaking of which, before anypony could comprehend what had transpired, Pinkie was happily bouncing her way toward the new visitor.
"Is that him? The alicorn?"
"That sure looks like an alicorn to me, but something about him is really fishy like he ain't the full picture."
"He doesn't l-look kind, in fact, he makes me nervous!"
"Oh, my stars he's real!? Quick, how does my mane look? Do I need more eye-liner? Oh, I can't see straight, where is my couch!?"
"Girls! calm down, we haven't even met him yet. We don't know where he's from or why he's here or if he's really even an alicorn, he may also be lost or confused. Let's get over there before Pinkie stuffs him full of desserts."
The Mane Five begin their trot over to the strange newcomer, leaving the diarchies behind. "What do you make of this Tia?"
"A strong case for aspirin."
"...Pray tell what is aspar-reen, and why do we need it?"
"I...I don't know? The phrase just popped in my head upon seeing him, but I get a strange feeling that whatever it is, we'll wish we had it. Perhaps more."
3 hours later.
"Where the hell is the end to this stupid rainbow!?"
For the past three hours, I've been walking through this calm forest, coming across many critters and creatures alike. The walk, while tranquil, was beginning to take its toll on my hooves, considering I had to find my walk routine without any horse or pony tell me if I was doing it right.
Half an hour after beginning my journey, I found a small river and knowing the history lesson of civilization always being near a body of water, I decided it was the only path I could follow to get away from everything, but traveling this far only revealed more trees and forest shrubbery.
My frustration was mounting quickly, for no end was in sight. Before long a dark thought was beginning to enter my mind. I've been walking for some hours now, hours. This is a dream but time seems to be as slow as real life, the more I spend in this lucid dream, the quicker I feel like I'm gonna blow a fuse! "This shit is getting old real fast, this is a dream, my dream, a lucid dream at that. Why the hell is it following the laws of physics and not bending to my will!? I can't keep walking in this damn forest trying to find an exit if there is none. Why won't it let me do what I want?"
Earlier today during my walk I tried...using my brain power to change the fabric of reality to take me away from this land to another. It was worth the try but only served to relay that I for whatever reason, didn't have any control and that I might be here longer than I wished to.
Taking a quick break, I leaned on a decent-sized boulder and filtered my thoughts out loud, attempting one last time to reason with my... well my brain. "Look brain, clearly we're not on the same page, I don't know what happened last night, ok? Maybe I stayed up far longer than I should have, or I was given a roofie or some other drug because never in my life would I even think about dreaming of pretty ponies, but whatever the case, this has to end. I mean, why this? Why now? Why is my first ever lucid dream about MLP? C'mon my guy, let's get rid of this girly stuff and move on to the nit and gritty, the good shit. I'm thinking of a warm-up through some zerg-infested trenches from Broodwar for about as long as you made me walk through this damn forest. Then a campaign on Klendathu until every bug is a dead bug, and if we still have time, I'm feeling we can top everything off with a last stand on the Ishimura: Plasma cutter, pulse rifle, level six suit, fifty-rounds top. A good ol' monster bloodbath should do just fine with me, no more pony crap, whaddya say?"
~Clip, Clop, Clip, Clop,~
Hearing the sound of two sets of hooves behind me, a quick glance, and a subsequent loss of breath was my only reaction upon spotting two elegant, striking, and stellar alicorns, one of snow-white and rainbow radiance, and the other of a midnight-blue twinkle of the night sky.
"No. No! Brain are we even on the right book!? Ok, maybe what I had in mind wasn't what you wanted or it was too complicated for you to understand, let me try something simple. How about Halo, we love Halo right? Can this dream change to Halo now?"
The horses exchanged glances between themselves.
"No? That's ok, Gears of war 2, remember the nostalgia? Late summer nights, playing guardian on Jacinto, always raging to the bull-shit Tai bots? Remember?"
The alicorns cautiously closed the distance, one hoof at a time.
"Ok, maybe not Gears for whatever reason. Dead Space, a horror classic, let's cut off their limbs like old times."
One of the ponies cleared her throat, but I beat her to the punch.
"You want history instead? World War One? Two? Waterloo? Maybe a movie, War of the Worlds? The Thing?"
Again, one of them cleared their throat.
"Anything but the ponies please I'm begging you."
"Hello?" Came a soft voice amongst the two.
Hanging my head in defeat, I resolved to get past my brain's stubborn refusal to change.
"*sigh* Fine brain, you win. You wanna play with the pretty ponies? I'll let you have your moment. Hello! Howdy! Salutations! Greetings! And a fine howdy-do to you young and fair maidens today! Boy howdy, I sure wasn't expecting to be in the company of royalty this fine afternoon! Oh where are my manners, the names Merke-... uh, I mean uh,... Lone Star! That's it, the names Lone Star, and you, my swan-colored lassie, must be the world-famous Princess Celestia, co-ruler of the Kingdom of Equestria, alongside your sister. And speaking of the dame, you, my moonlit dream-kissed dainty dear, must be the one and only Princess Luna, the younger of the two rulers. Quite the pleasure to meet ya'll, quite the pleasure indeed, as I said before, the names Lone Star, and I am the king of the greatest state on Earth, the great state of Texas! Now let me tell you what, the reason we are the greatest is often times for the simplest of reasons: We got freedom of speech, the right to bare arms, the right to a fair trial, a bill of rights, plentiful of natural oil and gas to keep our great economy on chugging, A culture forged from the harshest of climates from the most of uncivilized eras, guns of all calibers for everyone young or old, fun for the whole family! The best and most friendly of people you will find anywhere, and this last one is just for you Princess Nightlight, ~The stars at night are big and bright deep in the heeeaaarrrt, of Texas!~ Now, with all that said, some people may have told you that we aren't the greatest, crazy right? Some have spread rumors that only steers and queers come from Texas. Well, we got the biggest and meanest steers alright, but any and all queers there are nothing but Californian's trying to spread their dirty communism into my home, but they will achieve nothing, for the greatest thing we Texans hold dear to our hearts, is patriotism, God, and democracy!" Alright, you've had your moment, brain, now let's fucking skiddadle please?
"...Quite the charmer if I say so sister," the Princess of the Night noted, "Already better than the other one by leaps and bounds, if we excuse the blatant dishonesty he displayed."
"It's called acting Luna, you've seen it many times before," Celestia stated before redirecting her attention back to Austin, a gentle smile adorned on her muzzle. "Ahem, I believe proper introductions are in order, wouldn't you agree, 'Lone Star'?"
Defeated once again, Austin reluctantly gives in to the pony dream, for now. "My real name, is Austin Merkelo, *sigh* Princess."
"It is a pleasure to meet you Austin, I am Princess Celestia, and this is my sister Princess Luna. I must say, that is a most peculiar name for a pony. "
"Indeed dear sister, tis a shame, 'Lone Star', seems to be a name fit for a 'strapping King'."
"With pleasantries aside, I'm afraid we are not here on a social call. Austin, I must ask you to come with us."
Ah hell brain, you just can't make it easy for either of us, huh?