//------------------------------// // Chapter 12: Anticipation // Story: Harmonic Reverberations of the Heart // by UnamusedWaffle //------------------------------// I absentmindedly flop a hoof down on some of the keys, causing a short discordant cacophony to ring out. Fortunately, the offending harmony dies out faster than my will to live after sitting through a three-hour lecture on best programming practices in CoffeBean.  My head falls back as my eyes wander around the room. Faux leather chairs surround the polished wooden conference table, leaving a comfortable walking space between them and the towering cabinets and drawers lining the walls. And then there’s me, sitting on one of the conference chairs I stole in between two cabinets with a power chord extending from the wall into my keyboard. I swallow the funny feeling permeating my stomach and reach for my backpack to grab my folder. Alright, what music would she like? Her instructor had her do exclusively classical pieces, so those are all instantly out of consideration. Classic rock? Pop? Alternative? “Uhhhhhhh…” Wait, why don’t I just ask her? Because I want to have this set up for her. She’s already hesitant about this, so…huh. What if she just doesn’t like any of those? I don’t want this to get awkward because I make a wrong decision… I sigh. I’ll just ask her, I guess. And when we do get into it, this is gonna get so good! If she goes for something like Mr. Brightsky, then…no there’s no piano part. Well, whatever she ends up choosing, I gotta be able to lead a bit through it. She’s just gonna be sight-reading here. I actually have experience doing improv. Mostly out of necessity, but that’s not important right now. She may have said that she remembers everything from her lessons but that doesn’t mean she can pick it up again instantly. I close the folder and toss it onto the keyboard. With a shrug, I lean down again to grab a water bottle from my backpack, taking a few strong gulps. However, I start choking when the door to the conference room flies open. Nearly throwing the water bottle down from my mouth, I bury my mouth in the crook of my hoof. “Oh, sorry about that. Are you okay?” Cadence asks. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s what she says since, ya know, kinda dying right now. I just hold my other hoof up for her, still wheezing and dying into my hoof, barely paying her any attention. After two violent hacks that nearly rupture my lungs, I’m finally able to breathe and I use the opportunity to cool my sore throat with more water. Irony. “You almost killed me with that,” I say, the words having to claw their way out of my throat. “Why’d you slam the door open?”  I might have been slightly dramatic on the dying part. Oh well. “Uh, sorry, I didn’t mean to,” she says while smiling sheepishly. Before I can respond, she leans down and undoes the zipper on the big black case I only just acknowledge the existence of. Her horn lights up and out flies an aquamarine acoustic guitar with silver accents splashed on it. Unsurprisingly, I find myself unable to tear my gaze away from it. “You really went all out with that thing, didn’t you?” Cadence sighs. “No, I didn’t make or order this,” she says with little to no emotion. “This was a gift from my instructor.” “Bad memories with it?” “Something like that,” she sighs out and I immediately feel a small pit start to form in my stomach. Should we continue with this? “If you’re having second thoughts, then we don’t have to do this. It was only a suggestion.” She waves her hoof and starts to drag over one of the big chairs from the conference table in front of the music stand that I set up for her in front of me. “No, I already agreed to this so I’ll see it through.” “You sure? We could always-” “Yes, Mezzo.” She says, plopping down into her seat. “Can we start, please?” “Uhm, yeah sure. So…” I trail off, reaching for the folder. This is just gonna piss her off even more, ain’t it? “What?” “Uh, I wasn’t sure what music you liked so…” A light blue aura envelopes the folder and floats it out of my hooves with all the exacerbation I expect from her right now. “Sorry.” Her brow furrows as she adjusts the guitar in her hooves. “For what?”   For what? For not coming up with something…but why should I expect myself to come up with something when I know nothing of your music tastes. “I dunno, just seemed like the right thing to say.” She sighs again. “I’m not mad at you. I’m just…” She trails off and takes a deep breath. Oh, true. Bad memories. I even said it earlier. “Yeah, I get it. Sorry, I should’ve recognized that earlier.” “It’s alright, and I’m sorry for not making that clear before.” She smiles at me, causing my expression to soften and my shoulders to drop before returning the gesture. “Alright, let’s see here…” she trails off, ears twitching to and fro and shuffling through the paper like a jammed printer. “Here, we can do this one. Sound of Silence, it says?” “Ah, that one. You sure?” I ask. She floats the sheet music over to me before I gesture it back to her. “Keep it, I printed those out specifically for you. I already have it memorized.” “Oh, thanks. And yes, I’m sure. Let’s do this.” Time to take charge. I sit up, actually fixing my posture for once, and extend my wings out to the keyboard while letting a hoof fall onto the pedal below the keyboard. Then, with her magic, she floats the sheet music onto the stand and stares at it for a moment. “Alright, ready?” She fiddles around with the guitar in her grasp before settling for cradling it in her hooves. Her horn lights up again, and a dull aquamarine glow encompasses the strings above the big hole and towards the end. She looks back up at me. “Ready.” I nod and raise my hooves up to where both she and I can see them. ‘One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four,’ I think a little bit faster than a cuckoo clock counts its seconds while clopping my hooves together. Slow enough to keep up, fast enough to not drag on. About eighty-five or ninety beats per minute, if I can remember correctly. “I’ll start, come in when you’re ready,” I say, still clapping. Cadence nods. “Alright.” I take a deep breath and start the count off in a low voice. “One…two…one, two, three.” The song begins with a low, melancholic riff that ascends and descends as calm as the waves on a tropical island. The flowing single melody then leads into a copy of itself and I have to take another deep breath. My left wing takes an opportunity to slowly drift itself down to the left end of the keyboard, focusing on the bass notes that thrum through my chest while my right wing substitutes the lyrics for more piano. As the bass line repeats itself, I look up briefly at Cadence to see her squinting at the sheet music in front of her and tapping her hoof to the floor. What was that, two measures per repeat of the melody? Then there’s been four so far, and I just started the lyrics, so… “Two, three, four, and measure nine,” I say in time with what I’m playing. Nine plus four is thirteen, so after the next melody and its repeat… My left wing then glides up the keyboard to the upper octaves with my right wing and starts to play brighter chords, almost lending an air of hope to the whole piece. I can practically hear the violins droning on in the background to accompany my playing. The brighter melody then repeats, and I open my mouth again. “Three, four, and measure thirteen.” Thirteen plus another two rep- A few hesitant, low strums float into my ear as the chords I’m playing glide down to the lower octaves again and I look over to Cadence to see a blue aura fiddling with the strings. Maybe I should’ve given her more time to look things over. I shake my head a little and look down at the keys again. A new, short riff permeates through the room, caressing my ears as my wing glides along the keyboard's middle. I look back up at Cadence when the riff repeats, and repeats again, only to find her eyes frantically darting around the sheet music. Definitely should’ve given her more time; this isn’t good for her. Stop if this next cue doesn’t work? “One, two, three, four, and measure fifteen.” A single confident strum pierces the air before quickly sputtering out and dying. I sigh and lift my wings off the keys and my hoof off of the pedal, forcing the music to cut itself off like me when I catch myself cursing. “Why’d you stop?” She asks, looking up from the sheet music and focusing her gaze on me. “Y-you didn’t seem to be getting it immediately. I definitely d-didn’t give you any time at all in the beginning to prep. Sorry about that.” She sighs and lowers the guitar in her grasp. “No, I was fine with what I was looking at. I can read what’s on the page, I just kept getting…distracted,” she says, sighing and returning her focus to the sheet music. “Like, I know the time signature, the key signature, the chords, everything, just…” she trails off. “You wanna pick a different song? Something more light-hearted? Or at least not as somber?” “Yeah, let’s go for that.” “Do you wanna pick again, or…?” She hums in thought for a moment. “Can I see your-oh wait! Do you have Hallelujah?” Her eyes light up to the point where they almost blind me and Cadence confronts me with the most powerful weapon in the observable universe: the squee. My defenses break down instantly. I smile. “Yeah, I do, but I don’t have guitar sheet music for it.” Her expression instantly falls. “Do you wanna play it?” “Well, if you don’t have the-” “Lemme ask you again, do you want to play it?” “Yes! I-” she takes a breath and a moment to compose herself. “I’ve always wanted to learn it, but my interest got killed before I could ever get around to it.” “Alright, well it’s not very hard. I can show you the chords right here and now and I’ll just play to you. And I assume you already know how it goes by ear so this should go better,” I smirk as I finish speaking. Cadence nods. “Okay, that works. So, what first?” “W-well, f-f-first off, did you ever get to time signatures other than four in your lessons?” She sighs and shakes her head. “No, we only got to every possible variation of four. One-four, two-four, three-four, even five-four.” My eyes go wide. “You did five-four before moving onto, like, cut time and stuff?” She can only nod and now it’s my turn to sigh. “Sweet Celestia, well, that sucks, but it shouldn’t be too hard of a leap.” My heart then wrenches itself out of my chest for half a second before I notice her expression. Or lack thereof. Well, she didn’t object to me saying her Aunt’s name in vain, so I think I’m good there. Anyway… “S-so, you know how four-four means ‘four quarter notes per m-measure’?”  She nods.  “Hallelujah is in s-six-eight, meaning t-there are six eighth notes per m-measure and the eighth note g-g-gets the beat; the note you count when y-you tap your hoof or something. Anyway, you’d count it as either: ‘one-two-three, four-five-six’,” I say as I clop my hooves together on ‘one’ and ‘four’.  “...as either two groups of three, usually when the tempo is slower, or ‘one, two, one, two,’” I say as I clop them together again, this time on both ‘one’ and ‘two’.  “...and you imply the other eighth notes, usually when the tempo gets faster and you don’t wanna bother with counting to six that fast.” “Alright, I think I get it.” “It’ll make more sense once you start playing. I know it took me a few years back in middle school to fully understand it. Anyway, so, now, the chords are…” “Ready?” she asks as I give my keyboard one last pound with my hoof for good measure. Gotta make sure all the keys are loose and warmed up, heh. That’s not actually a thing. “Yep, ready when you are,” I reply, raising my wings up to the keys. She nods and lowers her gaze to her guitar, her magic giving off a barely audible thrum against the strings. Her magic starts to glide up and down the strings, carefully picking out and plucking each string in a delicate, yet fluid motion. Though, the music itself feels almost directionless. Like when you’re falling in a dream; you feel like you’re moving but you’re not actually moving; you’re stuck in place. I stay silent for the first four measures and let her melody wash over me. But as I prep myself to press down on my keys for when the lyrics should have been substituted for more playing, something I hear makes me hesitate for half a second, forcing me to scramble to get back on track. “Well, I heard there was a secret chord that Radiance played and it pleased our Gods.” Her voice rings out across the room in a sweet melody encased in honey, causing my shoulders to drop and my expression to widen into gaping awe at the sound of it. I have to slow myself down enough to not get whiplash as my head shoots up to look at her. She has her eyes closed and head raised to the sky now. Curiously, her mane seems to flick about in some non-existent wind ever so slightly faster behind her like the rolling waves of an ocean.  I slowly close my mouth and lower my gaze back down to the keys, my heart beating extra fast in excitement. Alright, back on track. Just do chords on beats one and four, a backbeat. Yeah, a backbeat on the keyboard, let’s go! I can just add more as we go. Her melody then just barely shifts up, spending a little more time in the instrument's upper range. The lyrics themselves are supposed to invoke a sense of senseless wandering, but the way her singing and guitar strings blend together is like watching someone powerwash an endlessly dirty fence or pull moss out from in between some bricks. Her singing is so fucking good! Right, I gotta play well, tool. Can’t let her carry this all on her own. Her fluid scales and my sturdy chords play off one another, balancing and accentuating each other in a powerful yet graceful dance of melodies. Occasionally, in between verses I find myself looking back up at Cadence to see her grinning from ear to ear down at her guitar, and I can’t help but smile as well. My bass takes a back seat to Cadence and her glorious all-consuming melody for the entire song. My chords, bass lines, and embellishments merely decorate the unrivaled front of her driving yet graceful melody and vocals.  I’m almost caught off guard when she starts to crescendo, her guitar-strumming becoming increasingly forceful, and yet it still retains a measure of elegance. Her voice invokes the image of a tidal wave; growing by the second, getting ready for a powerful release. “It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah!” I have to stop myself from accidentally tapping a note when she stops playing and the release never comes. Instead, what graces my ears makes me chuckle and smile even wider as I provide incredibly soft flourishes behind her singing. “Hallelujah! Hallelujah. Halleluuuuuuuu! Halleluuuuuujah.” I let the keys ring out for just a moment before pulling my hoof off of the pedal. I look over at her, grinning. She looks back at me for a second before starting to chuckle.  “Well,” I start and lean down to grab my water bottle from my backpack again.  “That was amazing!” She exclaims as I take a quick swig. “I-...I didn’t think…” “That playing music could be so fun?” I offer after lowering the bottle from my lips. She nods. “Yeah, I really wasn’t expecting to enjoy that as much as I did.” “Well, that’s what happens when you get to pick what you play. You tend to actually enjoy it. Crazy how that works.” I can’t help but laugh along with her giggles. “Guess you can say you got to play some good cadences.” I let the silence hang in the air for a moment. And then another moment. Oh, wow. I didn’t know her expression could get that blatantly unamused. I snort before breaking down into laughter. “That was violently unfunny. I’m sure you’ve heard it too many times by now.”  She just shakes her head and smiles. “You have no idea, though it’s based on a misspelling.” I choke my laughter back where it dies in my throat. “What do you mean? Is your name not spelled c-a-d-e-n-c-e?”  She shakes her head. “Nope, it’s spelled with an ‘a’. Most creatures get that wrong though, so I’m used to it. Think it’s an error dating back to the first history books that mentioned me.” “Huh, crazy.” I reach over to grab my water bottle again and chug. She sighs and leans back in her chair, letting the guitar fall with her and her gaze settle on the ceiling. “Why didn’t you join in?” Wha- “What?” I exclaim, raising my eyebrows. “I was playing the whole time, no?” “No, I mean, why didn’t you sing along with me?” I can’t help but throw my hooves up in defeat. “Uh, because my voice sounds like a shrill teenager shouting at their mom to get out of their room,” I say slowly.  Cadance giggles and returns her gaze to me. “I’m sure it’s not that bad.” “I’m sure that you’re wrong.” “You know what?” She says, leaning up again. “I’ll prove it to you, I’m positive that you’re just doing it wrong. I’ll drag you to karaoke night sometime, you’ll see.” “Oh, fuck off, please no.” “Language.” I let my hooves drop onto the keyboard, almost tipping it over as I groan in frustration. “Fff-of course I forgot!” I sigh as I throw my door open and waddle in with a keyboard and a backpack on my back. With a grunt, I make my way over to the back corner of my room and lean down. I let the keyboard slowly slide off of my back and I go focus on my magic for a moment, letting it flow through me again as the blue tendrils leak out of my horn to slowly approach the backpack. Unfortunately, my head starts to throb when they connect, and I cut the spell instantly. Yeah, no, ain’t trying that again. Cadance may have convinced me to carry it back but damn was that draining. Guess it’s one of those things that comes with practice? Like exercising, the more you do it, the easier it gets. Lumbering over to my bed, I slide the backpack off of my back and let it hit the floor next to the bed. Lastly, I unclip the phone strap from my chest, letting it and my phone drop onto my nightstand. Finally, I let myself fall down onto the bed with all the grace of a dying seal high on three kilos of ketamine. “Mmmmmm.” My hum gets muffled by the thick sheets and comforter of the bed, but I hardly care. Pffft, singing, yeah right. There’s a reason I only do that in the shower when I’m home alone. So, that meant always when I was in my apartment. What does she expect me to do, follow her to a nightclub in front of other creatures? Fuck no! And there I go cursing again. I sigh. “Fu-screw me.” I’m never gonna get this under control at this rate. I can already imagine slipping up when I actually go into public again. I’ll be passing by a family on the street, probably slam my horn into something and shout “FUCK!”. And then I guess it’ll be a whole ‘thing’. Like I should be happy about this, right? Maybe? I don’t even know anymore. I mean, sure, I’m an alicorn, yippee. Yeah, lemme just go out and enjoy being an alicorn, or maybe go and learn some new spells, oh wait. Can’t do either of those things right now. I’m just an oversized bird with a useless accessory. They gotta throw me back on the assembly line for a few more go-arounds. I let out another sigh and roll over to face the ceiling. The dark ceiling.  Because I never bothered to even turn the lights on.  I let out a growl of anger and clench my teeth before wrenching a deep breath out of my throat. I’m actually fuc- stupid. A dumb incel who can’t even remember to turn the lights on.  I pull my hooves up to my face to rub my eyes and sigh again. So, nothing new there. A short staccato note plays out from my left. With little effort, I slowly crane my head to see my phone lit up on my nightstand. Oh, hey, a text. Definitely Mom or something. I scooch myself over a smidge to grab my phone in my hooves. Yep, Mom. Called it. Hey sweetie! Just wanted to check in on you and see how you’re doing! Just know that your father and I will always love you.  Tentatively, I raise my wing up to the phone to type.  Really overwhelm- I delete it. Alright, but I’m real- I delete it. I mean, what the fu- I clench my teeth for a second before taking another deep breath. What would they even say? What possible response would someone have to: “I’m desperately worried about being confronted about the inevitability of all of your deaths and how I’m now out of that natural loop and I’m forced to confront this about you two, my twin sister and my brother and everything I’ve ever cared about all at once and there’s NOTHING I CAN FUCKING DO ABOUT IT!” I let my phone drop out of my hooves and I choke back some tears. My lips start to quiver, and I try my best to fight it back.  Nah, screw that instinct. I need this. I let my lip quiver. I let myself clench my eyes shut in a vain attempt to shield myself from it all.  But nothing comes out, leaving only an almost imperceptible cold and empty feeling in my chest. I let out another sigh and swallow the lump in my throat.  I just need more time to think about it. Just focus on something else for now. I squint my eyes for a moment as I bring my phone back up to my face and my wing back up to the screen. Alright. I got the opportunity to introduce Caden- I delete it. Cadance to playing music again, which was fun. We played Sound of Silence and then Hallelujah, but we only played through the latter fully. I kinda screwed up the first one. Also, magic lessons. I did that. Barely.  Not a minute later: That’s wonderful sweetie! She didn’t say anything weird, did she? We both know what happens when their magic gets to you and messes with your mind and- Yeah, I ain’t reading the rest of that. I ain’t in the mood to argue with you so imma just ignore most of that. Short answer: no. Nothing was weird- Except when I blew up. Ha. -or out of the ordinary. I’m perfectly safe. And while I can’t actually prove any of that to you, you’re just gonna have to take my word for it. Another ping comes nearly instantly. And how long will I have to wait? I need to see my baby again! Why did they even take you in the first place? I sigh. Again, can’t tell you. I’m sorry, I really am, but they’re still working on how to- I delete it. -working on figuring it out and I ain’t about to undermine that. Another ping comes from my phone, but this time a drop-down appears at the top of my screen. Huh, the group chat? Sunny Side Up: Hello all. Please meet tomorrow in the main conference hall at 4 P.M. for a meeting to address the announcement of Mezzo to the world. The Church Leaders will be present. Oh, well, fuck me, I guess, at least they stuck to their word about two weeks. And as soon as we bring it up, too! I forcefully pry my jaw open, forcing it to relax.  Now that’s sort of an oxymoron, ain’t it? Alright. I switch back to the thread with Mom. Well, you got your wish. There’s apparently a meeting about everything tomorrow so hopefully, I can tell you everything by then. For now, I’m gonna go to bed, had a long day. Night, ily. I smile briefly when I read her reply. Ily too, sweetie! I sigh again and let my phone plop onto my bed again. I need a distraction. Something to stave off these thoughts before I actually go to bed. NetMeTube videos? Yeah, that sounds about right. Not sure why I even let it go in the first place. Picking my phone back up, I scroll over to NetMeTube. Let’s see, recommended videos: The Scientist | Ukelele Tutorial, nah. UNO but everyone just yells at each other, already seen it. How An Infinite Hotel Ran Out of Room, now that sounds interesting! But before I can tap on the video, a ping and a drop-down notification stop me. From Assured Brush? What do you want at this hour, bro? Hey, I just need a few more pocket mons for my dex, you think you can trade me for ‘em? I simply sigh one final time and swing my hooves and let them fall over the edge of the bed before sitting up.  Well, lucky you. I just finished the game a few days ago. I got you. What do you need?