• Published 13th Dec 2016
  • 13,959 Views, 527 Comments

Call me Queenie - Abaddon spice

Thrown in as a changling Queen far before the Canterlot invasion, and trust me mate, I got 99 problems and a Chrysalis ain't one.

  • ...

All hail the queen!

Alright, so we have a human.

Somewhere, somehow, chosen by the forces of dickery to be in this story.

Age: you know it's rude to ask a woman her age (weirdo)
Info: has previous knowledge of mlp
Status: Has no idea what's about to happen


Hmm, what's this? (I was rummaging through the previous owner's desk) Background? Prologue? Reasoning? Plot?!

I quickly crumpled the papers up and tossed them in the bin behind me.

I'm an improviser, I'll come up with something.

Oh, and in case you don't know who I am?

I'm the fucking narrator.


I slowly opened my eyes, "owww..." I groaned as I slowly got up. 'What the hell just happened?" I wondered, but the more I thought about it the more my poor head hurt.

Okay, basics, My name was Jadyden Wall and I am a Human

Wait. That's not right.

I tried to rack through my mind for and answer, but the more I tried to think about it, the more my head hurt.

Looks like I'm not getting anything from this.

"Ohhh.." I groaned as I weakly tried to get up. 'Might as well, get a good look at where the hell I am' I thought begrudgingly. I looked around, I was in some sort of desert-ish landscape, in the distance there were some weathered mountains, and to my right there was a huge cave. Some sickly looking trees were in the far south, and random rocks were scattered across the landscape.

A perfect wasteland.

Once done with my scenery observation, I tried to think of what I was doing before I passed out. Was I drunk? No, I don't drink. Did I die? No, I'm still breathing. Did someone kidnap me? In that case, where the hell are they?!

As I was continuing to go down my mental checklist, a small voice in the back of my head interrupted me.

'Your majesty?'

Oh shit! My brain's got hacked by Siri!

'No, get your auto-correcting ass out of my mind!'

'...what is an auto-correcting ass, your majesty?'

'Ugh....never mind'

Wait I remember now! I was sitting at home, watching the new season 6 episode 1 of My Little Pony! And... Well.. I guess that's it. Wow, that was absolutely useless information, thank you brain, I really appreciate it.

'So uh, what's your name?' I mind spoke to the voice.

Hey, its not like I have anything better to do, what I was looking for was complete kaput, might as well get to know Siri.

'I am drone 101, your majesty'

Ah yes drone, 10- wait what! My blood froze, only one race came to mind at the moment, and I slowly looked down at myself.

I of course did not scream, panic, or freak out whatsoever.



Anyway, I was chitinous and holy. I scrambled to my feet/ hooves/ whatever, and of course tripped over a conveniently placed rock and slammed my "starting to feel better head" into the hard dirt/sand.

"Ok, rule number one, find place with pillows for ground, then freak out" I grumbled, muzzle imbedded in the dry gritty soil, and slowly started to get up again.

'Your majesty, there was a shudder in the link, are you alright?'

'I'm fine 101' I thought back irritably.

I rose to a sitting position and continued to (calmly) examine myself, I had a maroon underbelly, a bit of a lanky form, a dark crimson shell on my back, sprouting two tattered see-through red wings. My long tail hung down limply on the ground , it of course being a light crimson as well as my long wild mane, both of course had holes.

'Welp, it's confirmed. I'm a fucking Changeling Queen, well, I'm screwed. Might as well drop me of in Canterlot, while you're at it universe', I fumed, and as I continued to fume my right eye began stinging, this of course pissed me off further.

101 had soon gone quiet during my fuming and frustrations with the universe, and once I had stopped, I noticed how quiet it had gotten.

'Sorry about that, today's just not been my day' I apologized.

Hey, nobody wants to just listen to someone bitch and moan.

'It is alright your majesty, we all have bad days' he reassured me, and I looked around.

'Where are you anyway?'


"Wait! Wha-

A small changeling darted out of some dry brush near me and bowed before me.

'I await your command, your majesty'

Wait, was he waiting in a bush the whole time or- you know what. I'm just going to roll with it. I think I'm out of fucks to give at this point.

As I looked at him (yes it is a him, I can tell by the voice) I noticed he had a different shell than me.

No not like, different shade but more like an entirely different color.

Like I'm a red shell and he has a bright orange one.

Something isn't right here.

"You're not one of mine" I said slowly and the small changeling nodded and bowed.

'My comrades did not make it away from the home hive in time, your majesty, the hive queen is deceased and I ask for you to be my new ruler' he chittered/explained. I nodded my head, it made kind of sense in a weird way. If the big boss gets ex'd find the next big boss then work for them, then a question came to mind.

"What was your queen's name?"

Hey, stuff like this is important. I don't want any spy's among me, and- well, among me.

The drone shifted uncomfortably under my gaze, 'My old queen was Queen Heckle, your majesty' he mumbled.

Images flashed before my eyes, of a thin orange changling queen with a poofy mane, and let's just say, they were not good images.

"Oh." Was all I said.

Trust me, if you had seen the shit I just saw, those would be the exact words you'd say too.

The drone's eyes widened, 'I swear my loyalty to you, my new queen, please don't leave me!' he begged. I looked upon the drone with pity. This drone had seen some serious shit, a pretty good point in my book.

As I looked down at the drone, which had tears in its eyes (how could it have tears, it doesn't have eyelids) I patted him on the head. "Okay, you can join my hive dude, but I'm not calling you 101" I thought for a minute "how about Scout?" I asked, and he looked at me as if I had just slapped Jesus.

He slowly opened his mouth.

I braced myself.

'T-thank you, your majesty' the drone stuttered and sat up straight. 'I, Scout, shall serve you with all my strength until my own death' he swore and then bowed before me.

'What is your command, your majesty?'

I took a sigh of relief, 'Okay, maybe this won't be too bad', I mused to myself, and took a look at the cave near us. "Okay Scout, lets head that way and build a hive" I said and pointed toward the cave, and the drone nodded.

As he was about to take off, he stopped and tilted his head at me 'You don't have a hive?' he asked quizzically, and his eyes widened and he clapped ahoof over his mouth .

I tilted my head, it was a good question, so I replied with the most descriptive answer I could come up with.

"It's a long story"

By god! The detail!

Yeah, yeah, sarcasm aside, I couldn't just tell him I'm an ape from another world. Stories like that would end me up in the Crazy Barn.

As I exited my inner monologue, I noticed Scout had flattened himself onto the ground, and was trembling all over. I slowly looked behind me, and saw... nothing?

I looked back at Scout confused.

What could be terrifying him?

"Uh, Scout... are you alright?" I asked tentatively, and then the floodgates opened.

'Ididn'tmeantoyourhighness,yourwordislaw,Inevermeanttoquestioyou-PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!' He cried, more tears bursting out his face.

'...Uh, wut'

What just happened?

As stated before, "uh, what"

Brain reboot 25% complete

Okay, I think I caught a bit of that, something about questioning me, I think. Why was this a bad thing? Before I could delve anymore into this mystery, I heard sniffling, I stopped myself and focused on the problem ahead.

I looked down at the small broken changeling, and brought him into a careful hug.

"Hey, it's alright, it's okay, you're fine don't worry I'm not mad" Well not entirely, but heck, I don't mind being a little nutty in MLP land.

After a minute of cradling and rubbing his back, he finally calmed down and stared at me with awestruck eyes, of course he took this moment to change his colors. He burst into flame in my arms, and I of course nearly chucked him across the freaking desert.

Hey, what would your reaction be if a being, in which you were cradling, just spontaneously combusted in your arms.

Yeah, I thought so.

Once the small bonfire in my arms cooled off, I saw a crimson shelled changeling staring at me and he gave me a big smile. "Mother!" He cried, and then my brain crashed for the fourth time.

After that little episode, I found out the small changeling had permanently changed his colors to match mine (This was a natural thing for rogue, feral, or abandoned changelings to do once they were accepted into a hive), in short I now have a legit member of my hive.


I also informed him it was okay to ask questions about my actions, and if he had any good ideas he should speak them. Later, I found out he had made this a rule for the whole hive, but for now the sun had begun to set.

We of course, did the thing that started this ordeal anyway, and went to the cave.

Watching Scout disappear into the cave, I followed closely behind him. 'Might as well make sure he doesn't get killed' I thought to myself and continued farther into the cave. As I walked up to Scout, he had met the end of the cave, and was digging a tunnel downwards.

I looked around, the interior was pretty vast, and though the roof was littered with stalactites, it seemed the long years of existence had worn the walls smooth. By the looks of it as well, nothing had been living here for a pretty long time.

Looking back the way we had came, I could see the cave was pretty deep, leaving only a trickle of light down its yawning mouth.

A good place to establish a hive.

Before I could go any farther though, I felt a great unease in my abdomen. You know it's like when your gut hurts and you just don't know why. Yeah, it felt a bit like that. My body suddenly went into autopilot and I suddenly laid down. What in the world was I do-




Ooooooh hell no!

I sternly looked down at my lower body, 'You better not be doing what I think you're doing' I thought sternly, a small stab of pain was my only reply.

Shit. Well, I think two things might be happening here.

1: I ate something real bad somewhere.
2: I'm laying eggs.

...I'm really hoping for number 1.

But to no avail, my abdomen muscles tightened, and on instinct I pushed.

And a fucking egg came out of my butthole.

Damn it.

Author's Note:

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