Alright, so we have a human.
Somewhere, somehow, chosen by the forces of dickery to be in this story.
Stats:
Sex:Female
Age: you know it's rude to ask a woman her age (weirdo)
Info: has previous knowledge of mlp
Status: Has no idea what's about to happen
Perfect.
Hmm, what's this? (I was rummaging through the previous owner's desk) Background? Prologue? Reasoning? Plot?!
I quickly crumpled the papers up and tossed them in the bin behind me.
I'm an improviser, I'll come up with something.
Oh, and in case you don't know who I am?
I'm the fucking narrator.
Darkness.
I slowly opened my eyes, "owww..." I groaned as I slowly got up. 'What the hell just happened?" I wondered, but the more I thought about it the more my poor head hurt.
Okay, basics, My name was Jadyden Wall and I am a Human
Wait. That's not right.
I tried to rack through my mind for and answer, but the more I tried to think about it, the more my head hurt.
Looks like I'm not getting anything from this.
"Ohhh.." I groaned as I weakly tried to get up. 'Might as well, get a good look at where the hell I am' I thought begrudgingly. I looked around, I was in some sort of desert-ish landscape, in the distance there were some weathered mountains, and to my right there was a huge cave. Some sickly looking trees were in the far south, and random rocks were scattered across the landscape.
A perfect wasteland.
Once done with my scenery observation, I tried to think of what I was doing before I passed out. Was I drunk? No, I don't drink. Did I die? No, I'm still breathing. Did someone kidnap me? In that case, where the hell are they?!
As I was continuing to go down my mental checklist, a small voice in the back of my head interrupted me.
'Your majesty?'
Oh shit! My brain's got hacked by Siri!
'No, get your auto-correcting ass out of my mind!'
'...what is an auto-correcting ass, your majesty?'
'Ugh....never mind'
Wait I remember now! I was sitting at home, watching the new season 6 episode 1 of My Little Pony! And... Well.. I guess that's it. Wow, that was absolutely useless information, thank you brain, I really appreciate it.
'So uh, what's your name?' I mind spoke to the voice.
Hey, its not like I have anything better to do, what I was looking for was complete kaput, might as well get to know Siri.
'I am drone 101, your majesty'
Ah yes drone, 10- wait what! My blood froze, only one race came to mind at the moment, and I slowly looked down at myself.
I of course did not scream, panic, or freak out whatsoever.
Yep.
Totally.
Anyway, I was chitinous and holy. I scrambled to my feet/ hooves/ whatever, and of course tripped over a conveniently placed rock and slammed my "starting to feel better head" into the hard dirt/sand.
"Ok, rule number one, find place with pillows for ground, then freak out" I grumbled, muzzle imbedded in the dry gritty soil, and slowly started to get up again.
'Your majesty, there was a shudder in the link, are you alright?'
'I'm fine 101' I thought back irritably.
I rose to a sitting position and continued to (calmly) examine myself, I had a maroon underbelly, a bit of a lanky form, a dark crimson shell on my back, sprouting two tattered see-through red wings. My long tail hung down limply on the ground , it of course being a light crimson as well as my long wild mane, both of course had holes.
'Welp, it's confirmed. I'm a fucking Changeling Queen, well, I'm screwed. Might as well drop me of in Canterlot, while you're at it universe', I fumed, and as I continued to fume my right eye began stinging, this of course pissed me off further.
101 had soon gone quiet during my fuming and frustrations with the universe, and once I had stopped, I noticed how quiet it had gotten.
'Sorry about that, today's just not been my day' I apologized.
Hey, nobody wants to just listen to someone bitch and moan.
'It is alright your majesty, we all have bad days' he reassured me, and I looked around.
'Where are you anyway?'
'Coming.'
"Wait! Wha-
A small changeling darted out of some dry brush near me and bowed before me.
'I await your command, your majesty'
Wait, was he waiting in a bush the whole time or- you know what. I'm just going to roll with it. I think I'm out of fucks to give at this point.
As I looked at him (yes it is a him, I can tell by the voice) I noticed he had a different shell than me.
No not like, different shade but more like an entirely different color.
Like I'm a red shell and he has a bright orange one.
Something isn't right here.
"You're not one of mine" I said slowly and the small changeling nodded and bowed.
'My comrades did not make it away from the home hive in time, your majesty, the hive queen is deceased and I ask for you to be my new ruler' he chittered/explained. I nodded my head, it made kind of sense in a weird way. If the big boss gets ex'd find the next big boss then work for them, then a question came to mind.
"What was your queen's name?"
Hey, stuff like this is important. I don't want any spy's among me, and- well, among me.
The drone shifted uncomfortably under my gaze, 'My old queen was Queen Heckle, your majesty' he mumbled.
Images flashed before my eyes, of a thin orange changling queen with a poofy mane, and let's just say, they were not good images.
"Oh." Was all I said.
Trust me, if you had seen the shit I just saw, those would be the exact words you'd say too.
The drone's eyes widened, 'I swear my loyalty to you, my new queen, please don't leave me!' he begged. I looked upon the drone with pity. This drone had seen some serious shit, a pretty good point in my book.
As I looked down at the drone, which had tears in its eyes (how could it have tears, it doesn't have eyelids) I patted him on the head. "Okay, you can join my hive dude, but I'm not calling you 101" I thought for a minute "how about Scout?" I asked, and he looked at me as if I had just slapped Jesus.
He slowly opened his mouth.
I braced myself.
'T-thank you, your majesty' the drone stuttered and sat up straight. 'I, Scout, shall serve you with all my strength until my own death' he swore and then bowed before me.
'What is your command, your majesty?'
I took a sigh of relief, 'Okay, maybe this won't be too bad', I mused to myself, and took a look at the cave near us. "Okay Scout, lets head that way and build a hive" I said and pointed toward the cave, and the drone nodded.
As he was about to take off, he stopped and tilted his head at me 'You don't have a hive?' he asked quizzically, and his eyes widened and he clapped ahoof over his mouth .
I tilted my head, it was a good question, so I replied with the most descriptive answer I could come up with.
"It's a long story"
By god! The detail!
Yeah, yeah, sarcasm aside, I couldn't just tell him I'm an ape from another world. Stories like that would end me up in the Crazy Barn.
As I exited my inner monologue, I noticed Scout had flattened himself onto the ground, and was trembling all over. I slowly looked behind me, and saw... nothing?
I looked back at Scout confused.
What could be terrifying him?
"Uh, Scout... are you alright?" I asked tentatively, and then the floodgates opened.
'Ididn'tmeantoyourhighness,yourwordislaw,Inevermeanttoquestioyou-PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!' He cried, more tears bursting out his face.
'...Uh, wut'
What just happened?
As stated before, "uh, what"
Brain reboot 25% complete
Okay, I think I caught a bit of that, something about questioning me, I think. Why was this a bad thing? Before I could delve anymore into this mystery, I heard sniffling, I stopped myself and focused on the problem ahead.
I looked down at the small broken changeling, and brought him into a careful hug.
"Hey, it's alright, it's okay, you're fine don't worry I'm not mad" Well not entirely, but heck, I don't mind being a little nutty in MLP land.
After a minute of cradling and rubbing his back, he finally calmed down and stared at me with awestruck eyes, of course he took this moment to change his colors. He burst into flame in my arms, and I of course nearly chucked him across the freaking desert.
Hey, what would your reaction be if a being, in which you were cradling, just spontaneously combusted in your arms.
Yeah, I thought so.
Once the small bonfire in my arms cooled off, I saw a crimson shelled changeling staring at me and he gave me a big smile. "Mother!" He cried, and then my brain crashed for the fourth time.
After that little episode, I found out the small changeling had permanently changed his colors to match mine (This was a natural thing for rogue, feral, or abandoned changelings to do once they were accepted into a hive), in short I now have a legit member of my hive.
Sweet.
I also informed him it was okay to ask questions about my actions, and if he had any good ideas he should speak them. Later, I found out he had made this a rule for the whole hive, but for now the sun had begun to set.
We of course, did the thing that started this ordeal anyway, and went to the cave.
Watching Scout disappear into the cave, I followed closely behind him. 'Might as well make sure he doesn't get killed' I thought to myself and continued farther into the cave. As I walked up to Scout, he had met the end of the cave, and was digging a tunnel downwards.
I looked around, the interior was pretty vast, and though the roof was littered with stalactites, it seemed the long years of existence had worn the walls smooth. By the looks of it as well, nothing had been living here for a pretty long time.
Looking back the way we had came, I could see the cave was pretty deep, leaving only a trickle of light down its yawning mouth.
A good place to establish a hive.
Before I could go any farther though, I felt a great unease in my abdomen. You know it's like when your gut hurts and you just don't know why. Yeah, it felt a bit like that. My body suddenly went into autopilot and I suddenly laid down. What in the world was I do-
oh
Oh.
OH!
Ooooooh hell no!
I sternly looked down at my lower body, 'You better not be doing what I think you're doing' I thought sternly, a small stab of pain was my only reply.
Shit. Well, I think two things might be happening here.
1: I ate something real bad somewhere.
2: I'm laying eggs.
...I'm really hoping for number 1.
But to no avail, my abdomen muscles tightened, and on instinct I pushed.
And a fucking egg came out of my butthole.
Damn it.
It's goofy, silly, and stupid...
I LOVE IT!
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
20:34_12/13/2016
...Wrong orifice.
Also, unless this is randomly the GodQueen of the Changelings, I'm pretty sure she's holey and not holy.
7792685
Yeah, I was just trying to be more humorous than accurate
(Does actually know where eggs come from)
Storks, duh.
>what do you think
I think a downvote is in order
Interesting idea, I like this, keep up the good work
Amusing vey amusing
7792973 lol, we have given you our votes
Read me... later.
Okay, this has what I call (perhaps in ignorance) niche appeal. I mean, it's a wacky, somewhat rushed (with some talking heads syndrome) approach to a tasty/enthralling idea. If you continue and have them characters strongly developed I'll no doubt read this, despite the aforementioned.
You know, since the general idea has been overdone to death and back again (somehow), what amounts to enjoyment are the characters. So please, don't kick the proverbial puppy and flatten the characters. That does not mean they have to stop being silly; I enjoy that goofiness, and I know you too.
I will follow it and see how it goes. However i hope this won't be another fic where changelings and equestria eventually become friends because friendship, it has been done so many times and im sick of it.
(ur fic tho, do what you want)
7792685 All there in the manual.
7792685 do not mock the holy holes.
edit: aaand tracking.
Stalactites, not stalagmites
Wonderful!
Das ist wirklich gut, ich hoffe, mehr davon zu lesen (eine Frage war aber sie 'ein Mann Junge Frau oder Mädchen vor diesem, dass kleine Sache am Anfang nicht wirklich helfen mir mit ihm). Ich hoffe du kannst das lesen?
Interesting.
"'Might as well, get a good look and we're the hell I am' I thought begrudgingly."
"'Might as well, get a good look at where the hell I am' I thought begrudgingly. "
" Wait, was he waiting in at bush the whole time or- you"
" Wait, was he waiting in a bush the whole time or- you"
""Your not one of mine" I said slowly and the small changeling nodded and bowed."
""You're not one of mine" I said slowly and the small changeling nodded and bowed."
"Hey, it's alright, it's okay, your fine don't worry I'm not mad"
"Hey, it's alright, it's okay, you're fine don't worry I'm not mad"
"My bod suddenly went into autopilot and I suddenly laid down"
"My body suddenly went into autopilot and I suddenly laid down"
"'You better not be doing what I think your doing' I thought sternly,"
"'You better not be doing what I think you're doing' I thought sternly,"
Lastly eggs doesn't come trough the "butt hole" but from the "cloaca".
you're [better you are]
he
...wut?
Man, the amount of crazy, nonsensical crap that just happened in the period of way-too-soon is a great establisher for what this story is going to be like.
This is going to be a wonderful little pile of random.
This is bad quality, bad and childish fart homour, and it's filled with small grammatical errors.
I like it!
Me: I like. I also liked.
Body: imma lay an egg
MC: Body no
Body: lays egg
MC: aw heck
MC: *Stares at horn* You remind me of the babe.
Horn: What babe?
MC: The babe with the power.
Horn: What power?
MC: The power of voodoo.
Horn: Who do?
MC: You do!
Horn: Do what?
MC: Remind me of the babe.
Hail Hydra.
duck yes
7792757
Wrong. Everyone knows how eggs come from that nice old couple that runs the Pokémon Daycare Center
Where are the descriptions? I kinda feel like I'm reading constant dialogue.
Siri is spelt with an S unless it’s different in other countries.
Ah, the best force.
Reads intro: YYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH *guitar noises
I like
This made me laugh. You get a like for now. And probably a fave later if it keeps up like this.
It's goofy, but not the goofy of a writer who is just starting out, and doesn't know anything else. This is the kind of goofy I like in a story, since it probably means you have a plot in mind.
(Which is not a requirement to write. And by the way, all of this "experience" is from my own stories that I would like to be buried somewhere nice and far away.)
Anyway, I'm glad I decided to start this one.
Confused Statement: I... Don't think that's how that works.
9391404
Birds pee, poop, mate, and lay eggs all from the same hole...
Look it up
It was funny.
Gosh Heckle? Oh no, I can't believe they killed Gosh Heckle!
Errrr... came out of where?
Oh hey, it's the tutorial drone
This has definitely caught my interest
9451704
They might just have a cloaca (all-in-one hole)
"Wtf did we just read"
~ One of the voices in my head ~
2021
No time to panic we got Shit to do!
I'm sorry, what?... Female human reincarnated in female body on this site?
I want to cry 🥹.
For note: I'm rereading this, because I forgot everything about it.
I am not, however, impressed. I don't know how valid your words about no planning are, but it certainty feels like an unplanned mess.
In fact, the further in the chapter the worse it gets.
1) Starting in the middle of nowhere. No attempt to even assume that the body might have a backstory or resources, everything thrown away in an instant without considerations.
2) Somehow, alien changeling has been in her hive-mind? Called her "my queen"? And only later, suddenly, he actually joins in? Also, appearing from nowhere from the very start? WTF convenience.
3) Just the way story is written is more like street talk with unstable tense and "casual recap" vibe. It gets the point across, but that's it. It's as fluent as a brick wall.
11217472
You already cried.
Nice read, I actually let this story inspire me to write years ago, to bad my English was absolutly horrible back than.
Hope this story continues to update
Assbirth? That apperently just happened...
That Drone is perfect to learn common sense and the world basics... Very convenient
Whatever happened to her waking up on an altar with a valuable gem, then going out and eventually coming across the drone which she saved from being killed?
That was gold, now feels gutted
Uhh, could you repeat that?
11386857
That was a completely different story by a completely different author.
Edit: This is the story you are looking for It's Good To be the Queen
Is this a Reboot?
Of the other Changeling Fanfiction you made?
Because I've been waiting for a new chapter for a long time Intel I realized u made another one.