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Long ago, the Seraphim granted power to the Doom Slayer that he might conquer the forces of Hell. The Doom Slayer has won, Hell lies defeated, and now he returns to the Seraphim's holy realm. His mission is not over though, he has promises to fulfill, rewards to collect, and as always, evil to defeat. Let those who would harm this sacred land tremble, for the Guardian of Equestria, has returned!
(This story now has two sequels: Legion and the novella Doom Slayer.)
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continue this pleasepleaseplease. but no rush take ya time I'm really liking this
Completely agree. Very promising. BUT take your time.
Can't wait see what happens next. Great story.
DOOM!!!!!!
This was epic!
Keep it up!
Well two things
1. That one way to deal with Garble and his Goons
2.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjIVkl34Vig
I wouldn't go as far as calling Celestia and Luna Seraphs, they're powerful yes but not that powerful, Seraphs are Archangels, and Tia and Luna aren't even close to , but other than that, good job
7814596 Eh....You are placing your own canon into this story...
They tend to be as powerful as the writer's desire. Quite literally with the canon material too.
Even worse with how the common super heroes trope is that the authority or powerful figures are next to useless when realistically, they should've been able to solve the problem before anything get a chance to start.
7814735 are you talking to him or me
7814792 I'm not sure.
Make the hair blond or something simler so it's closer to doom guy from doom 1&2
Seraph? Seraph's in the Bible are.... Trust me on this. They are a whole other ball game. Celestia and Luna are too kind and in touch with mortals to be Seraph's. They are also not powerful enough....
Seraph's can also cause madness and fear if looked at directly.
Also, Giving Doom Guy a name and face? Le gasp! Trust me when I say that he is a an engine of carnage and destruction fulled by outrage. Turning a Rage Personified into an obedient knight seems to take away of some of Doom Guy's charm. And he may be a Knight, and he maybe good, but I would think that his manners, and etiquette would have been forgotten after centuries of being in a sarcophagus, and spending such a long time being DEATH INCARNATE.
It takes away from his charm. He maybe a dork, and from what we gathered in his interactions, actually trying to do the best for all of us. But his combat style and mannerisms speak of someone that may have good intentions, but also has a ton blood lust, and immeasurable rage.
This story has a lot of potential and i hope you continue it
I like the first chapter it gain my interest.
cant wait for chapter two.
Eeehh, the story's written well enough but that's just not the Doom guy I know and love. So, no offense to your writing ability but I'm gonna have to give this a pass.
To address a few concerns:
I know the Doom Guy in the story may not be quite what you expected, or wanted, but I figured that a new Doom Marine deserved a new face and a true name. I thought about giving him blond hair, a square jaw, crew cut, the whole nine yards. However in the end I decided that I needed to make a few changes for him to fit the narrative. I love the original Doom Guy, and I love his most recent incarnation The Doom Slayer, and I know no story I write could ever truly do him justice, but I did the best I could.
Now as to the seraphim: I can't tell you too much on that without revealing the direction of future chapters, so I am going to leave you with some clues as to why the Doom Slayer reveres the Alicorns. First: Is it the idol we worship, or the ideal that it represents? Second: Who among us has ever met an angel that we may know for certain what form they take? Finally: If a stranger give us salvation freely, are they not divine?
Oh and one little fun fact about the Doom Slayers name, what other name can Derran Grandel's initials stand for?
Thank you all for reading my story, and Happy Holidays to all!
7817664
I'll keep this on my Read Later list. I'm hoping that the Doom Slayer's loquaciousness (relative to the games) is merely for the sake of exposition in the first chapter and that he will return to a more restrained manner of speaking as exposition becomes less necessary. If you replaced
with something shorter such as "That is/those are not the reason(s) I fight." and leave it at that, I think it would be more in character for the Doom Slayer and better received with the readers.
The other point I want to address is that we know that Doom Slayer is the descendant of B.J. Blazkowicz, and picked up an armor upgrade from a Seraph sometime after DOOM II (or DOOM 64 iirc.)
Personally, I feel that many would be more comfortable with this story if the Doom Slayer didn't have great knowledge of Equestria and didn't know Celestia or Luna (simply referring to them as "the Seraphs" or similar); rather the Doom Slayer recognized Twilight holding the station of Seraph through some other means. This would necessitate retconning some sections:
to
and so forth for basically the rest of the chapter. This goes back to cutting down on how loquacious he is and making his character feel better to the readers. Instead of having him ask about Celestia and Luna have him say that a Seraph granted him his armor, and then have Twilight make the connection. The Doom Slayer is inherently a character of action, so show us. He shouldn't say he recognizes or knows something, he should demonstrate it. The story description says he's been in Equestria before, so demonstrate it. Use imagery.
If things improve from here, this story will likely move to my Favorites list. The dearth of quality DOOM fics is unfortunate, but is a result of the difficulty of writing Doomguy, as you acknowledged.
7818201
You make a lot of excellent points, and no I wasn't aware of the connection between B.J. and Doomguy (though I did harbor a few suspicions). Also, now that you mention it a more restrained Doom Slayer would be far truer to character. However there is a very good reason why I wrote things the way I did. I can't explain everything now, but please bear with me on this. I will say that the reason the Doom Slayer is more talkative with the Equestrians is that he trusts them almost implicitly, for reasons I will reveal later. He only bothered speaking to Hayden because he wanted to deny him the last word, and considering how arrogant Hayden is, that would definitely make his end all the more painful. I'm approaching Doomguy as a, duel entity, so to speak. When he's not fighting, and interacting with those he trusts we see his more noble personality. However when he's fighting, he reverts to the rage filled, demon slaying, badass who will crush you like a bug under a sledgehammer if you get in his way.
Also I think people are forgetting that we really haven't seen Doomguy outside of battle. We only ever see what he's like in combat, in full on 'take no prisoners' beast mode. Consider though: he beat his commanding officer to death (or punched him out, depending on what source you follow) because said officer wanted him to kill innocent people. This implies he has a strong sense of honor as well as right and wrong. In some cases his reason for fighting the demons of hell was his desire to rescue his fellow marines, implying a great loyalty to those he sees as friends. He even had a pet rabbit, not the kind of animal you keep if you're in a constant state of berserker rage. My story is, in part, meant to showcase what I believe Doomguy is like with the people (or ponies) he cares about. As to his previous experience in Equestria, again I can't say too much, but I encourage you to recall that we have no idea how long the new Doomguy was imprisoned by the forces of Hell. As far as my story, he has been in that tomb a little over a thousand years. How he got to Equestria the first time will be explained, but not until he meets up with Luna and Celestia. Again I have my reasons why he hasn't gone into great detail with the how's and why's of the situation. Also recall that the 2016 Doomguy, the 'Doom Slayer' was described in game as an "ancient warrior" that's why I sort of recast him as a 'knight in shining armor' type personality. Trust me the Doomguy we all love is still in there: just ask Garble.
Still I can understand your point of view, and I appreciate the feedback, I look forward to future insight from all of you as the story unfolds.
Signed Thule117
Loving this story so far, watching it i will.
7818820
While we're on the topic, Doomguy is also related to Commander Keen IIRC, and was on Mars for the assault and death of a superior officer that had ordered his troops to open fire on civilians.
I need more of this
The Twin
Very interesting so far, i really like it and your writing is very solid. Keep up the good work.
Can't wait for him to meet the others.
Especially Pinkie Pie
moar
Civilized Doomguy? This is great!
Intresting. Wanna see what's next.
Damn man this is great i cant wait for the next chapter i hope its worth. The anticipation
Hm, just sort of picked up reading this out of curiosity, and... well, favorited, mostly because I really want to see how this characterization of Doom Guy works.
Yeah, Ember's subjects REALLY should learn to keep it down a notch and abandon the whole "i'm a mighty dragon, rawr!" mentality, othervise the Dragon population of Equestria will drasticly decrease.
I honestly have to say that I'm greatly enjoying this characterization of Doomguy. The perfect blend of polite, semi-professional civility and rage, and the lack of ripping and tearing is always a good thing. Although, the fact that the ponies haven't seen the chainsaw yet can go both ways.
7820917 THATS WHAT SHE SAID HUE HUE HUUUEE
I'll keep an eye on this but I must confess... It is ridiculously weird popping that helmet off and seeing a dapper lad underneath all that fury and lack of vocals. Somethin to get used to I suppose.
7818201 since doomguy is a marine, why in the everloving fuck does he have Long hair? since hes wearing an armored suit, one would think hed keep it short as possible. Military guys keep short hair because long hair is a liability. I might believe him having longish hair from a lack of time to devote to personal hygiene, but still.
"Don't judge a book by its' cover". A very brutal killer of the damned and those who deserve it but a sophisticated gentleman around friends and possible family. This might be who the Doom Slayer might really be..... maybe.
A demon slayer and a scholar good sir
*opens his mouth to say something but closes it again and takes time to think about what happened*
Okay... I think I'm gonna love this characterization of Doom guy... and I REALLY can't wait until Luna and Celestia see him. But Twilight has the right idea about what she knows.
Although I fear if she knows the real truth behind him she... may look at him in a very different light... and I mean beyond what he did to those dragons.
Dude.... This..is...F-U-C-K-I-N-G....Amazing. Please keep making more!!!!!
New head canon accepted
This is by far one of the best DOOM crossovers I have ever had the pleasure of reading
He is THE most polite reincarnation of violence and vengance i have ever seen.
I'm really enjoying this, it's great to see Dooms protagonist set in a light other than cold emotionless killer. Keep on writing!
Is this based on the latest Doom? Because I'm not familiar with this guy's background despite his having a BFG 9000.
Really need to download that game and play it sometime.
this chapter. I LIKE IT ! ANOTHER!! NOW!!!
Ziz doom guy is a real softy not like the real OG.
If that's what you consider good bread Twilight, you really shouldn't make another attempt at it unless one of your baker friends is involved in it...
Still, one part of it really does make me have a slightly clearer picture about how the princesses might act... but I could be wrong, we will have to see.
*grabs bread and takes a slice*
Hmm.... tastes pretty good actually
Thats a good story i m really excited for the next chapter
Great chapter I will be egerly awaiting the next.
Looking foward to when the two monarchs meet their long lost friend.
7832344
Think about how long it has been since he has removed his helmet and of how long he has been inprisoned in his tomb of stasis by the demons.