//------------------------------// // Intermission: Peruvian Walnut // Story: The Whittler // by ROBCakeran53 //------------------------------// Princess Celestia was the kind of pony that when something was bothering her, or on her mind, she’d put on a mask to cover it. It wasn’t to be rude, she wasn’t unwelcoming of ponies to come to her aid, either. She really did appreciate all the hard work her little ponies did to ensure she and her sister were happy and taken care of... but some things just needed… tact, a word Luna would use in all the wrong meaning. Luna was the opposite. When faced with a problem, she saw it as a challenge, and would dive in head first, wings out, horn glowing with alicorn magic. This was the reason that Celestia was Tartarus bent on ensuring everypony else but her sister help. After a major conflict, ponies needed sincerity, calm leadership, and above all else, their mother figure to comfort them in this troubled time. A guard once compared Luna to his younger sister: a punk. Thankfully, Luna thought the idea of piercings was a sin, and was aghast at the idea of inking one’s inner lips. She did, however, retain her outward demeanor by pushing her way through life and not worrying who she’d offend. Floating alongside Celestia was a manila folder filled to bursting. It was a constant reminder of why, in this particular case, Luna’s brashness might be a boon. Upon Twilight’s departure for the town of Oasis, Celestia had taken it upon herself to do a little bit of her own homework on the side. Between relief paperwork and her own duties, she also enlisted the help of a couple secretaries to start digging through records to gather any information on Oasis, and its citizens. What they found was quite shocking, and mildly disturbing, which caused her the current migraine. Looking over the reports, the town paid taxes and was part of the BH and LM’s hydro-generator grid which fed power to Nowhere and its surrounding towns. Although at times it would have a rapid spike in demand and attempt to draw three times the power, causing a blackout. Another oddity that left her scratching her mane was a majority of the farmsteads were upon the Badlands, where she did not govern nor had any purchase on the ground they farmed. Pushing aside the very idea that the barren land was even fertile enough to support life, they were paying her taxes for non-Equestrian property. The oddities didn’t stop there. At first glance, none of the names on tax forms and land contracts were recognizable. Not unusual for a couple thousand years old alicorn, but after reading her secretary’s reports, and the files given to her, they should have. Firstly there was Sunny Side, whose father was a corrupt Manehattan politician. He embezzled and swindled hard-working ponies out of millions of bits, and once caught, was sentenced to jail. Well over two hundred thousand bits were still unaccounted for, and Celestia found no records of what happened to Mrs. Side, if there even was one. Eight years ago Sunny herself purchased the local Inn & Tavern and renamed it. Until that point, there were no records of Sunny Side other than a Manehattan birth certificate, listing only her father on the paper. More puzzling, she found a copy of a marriage certificate, the spouse being only one name, Bobtavious. Race, tribe, and cutie mark were left blank, raising flags had she seen this upon their marriage. Mistakes happened, but neglect of this caliber was usually intentional. Swift Delivery, a young colt who had dozens of juvenile drug running charges, but upon the age of sixteen up and vanished. That is, until three years ago, at the age of twenty, when he was appointed the mail pony for Oasis. How did the Equestrian Postal Service allow such a young pony, one with a history like his, be part of their ranks? How had she, when she personally oversaw government enrollment? A pony by the name of Short Circuit had four entire drawers of a filing cabinet in Las Pegasus hidden away in a dreary basement, full of questionable charges, ethics, and deviancies. The scarier part was that chunks of each page were blacked out and several were marked Top Secret with big red stamps. She was Princess Celestia damn it! She was the top of the top and even she had to fill out forms just to see them, the magical encryptions and barriers required a skillset far above her own. And even after all that, there were still parts she could not get access to. She needed to have some choice words with former agent Sweetie Drops next time she stopped in Ponyville, and turn in a favor. The list went on and on. Former big time robber, never convicted because of lack of evidence, and now the sheriff. A Canterlot noble’s daughter, marrying a convicted document editor, and then running off together. Now the mayor and secretary? Do-Right Fixit (deceased) and his wife, Marry Fixit, the former a contractor sued for mishandling the construction of an apartment complex which lead to the injury of a dozen ponies, and the later with several misdemeanor charges of trying to sell off ‘real’ Van Pone paintings. Lastly, but certainly not least, Thomas M. Baker. Until ten years ago he had no past, a non-Equestrian birth certificate (Dearborn, possibly from the Elk nation?), not anything Equestrian related, yet was now well into his forties, running Do-Right Fixit’s carpentry shop, and paying taxes without any clear citizenship. This was all too much for one royal alone. She needed help. Luna was, much to her chagrin, her only real option. Cadence was busy with the Crystal Empire, her husband was being flown all over Equestria trying to restabilize the Royal Guard, and Twilight… was by now just getting off the train and entering a place she’d never have sent her former student, let alone a relatively newly crowned princess, had she known of the ponies living there. Celestia was who everypony went to in times of crisis and need. Luna hid in the background, building and formulating solutions while Celestia smiled and reassured everypony that things would be fine. They had, many times over, conflicting ideas and solutions to the problems of governing a nation, but one way or another, they figured something out. World-ending national security this was not, but it was no less troubling on the mind. Approaching Luna’s chambers, the two nocturne pony guards saluted, and the left one knocked on the chamber doors before entering. Celestia stopped before the remaining guard, who stood still as a statue. “It’s daytime.” “Yes, Princess, it is.” “Isn’t your shift over? You both should have been relieved of duty for the morning.” “We’re pulling double duty, your Highness. We’re light hoofed, and door guards are low priority.” “I see.” Celestia turned to see the other nocturne exit Luna’s room, holding the door open to enter. Smiling, Celestia walked through the open door. “Thank you, both of you for your service this day.” Both guards bowed, the one returning to his location at the opposite side of the now open door. Entering Luna’s private chambers was always a fascinating thing to behold for anypony, and Celestia couldn’t help but feel like she was going back in time when she did so. Filled wasn’t the right word for the large, open room, but it was the first to come to mind. Mementos of the past lined the room: suits of armor long since put out of service. Paintings on the walls depicting prior conflict, and winning battles, hung along side tapestries hard-earned in peace and in blood. Trinkets from old friends and now lost nations weighed down the heavy wood shelves. The only thing that stood out was the primitive wood stove in the corner, with a coffee percolator resting on top. As much as Luna had been adapting to modern Equestria, electricity was still one thing she refused into her room. Made apparent by the gas lanterns that hung on every wall, and the candles which rested on each table and desk. Her shades were all drawn and closed, a pony could mistake it for the middle of the night. “Good afternoon, sister. What brings you to my chambers this fine day?” Celestia rolled her eyes. Luna always had a flair for the dramatic, and impromptu visits only caused her to grind further. She found Luna sitting at one of her two desks, the furniture sharing the wall she faced, while at opposite ends. Celestia had only one desk, and used it for everything. Luna had two, using one for work under the crown, and the one she currently sat at for personal matters. Both placed Luna’s back to anypony entering to give off a false sense of vulnerability. Celestia didn’t argue it anymore. She gave up on that a hundred years before her sister’s banishment. Clearing her throat, Celestia stopped in the middle of the room. “Lulu, I’ve been having some… issues lately.” Luna looked up from her scroll, lowering her reading glasses. “Oh? And what, no stallion tall enough to properly mount you?” Celestia choked on her own saliva. She would have normally been prepared for such remarks from her sister, but with all the distractions, and disconcerting discoveries of Oasis; it had her off-guard to the remark. Luna raised a brow. Celestia noticed her sister’s expression softened from her usual stone faced look. “My my, it must be serious. Do tell, sister, what ails you?” She turned from the roll top desk, horn lighting up to deposit her glasses onto the writing surface and rolling down the top cover. Celestia glanced behind her at the open doorway, one guard just barely visible, letting them know he was there for any beck and call. At Luna’s nod the guard saluted his bat-like wing and closed the door with barely a click. “We have privacy sister. Please, speak what ails your mind.” Celestia floated over the overladen manila folder to her sister. Luna took it in her magic with care, opening it and flipping through the scattered pages. In what seemed like only a few seconds, Luna closed the folder and placed it onto a side table. “I see. Oasis.” At Luna’s calm demour, Celestia dropped her guard, frowning. “You know?” Luna nodded, her face stoic like Celestia was moments before. “Aye. Since my return, something there was unsettling at first glance.” Narrowing her gaze, Celestia glared at her sister. “So when were you going to tell me?” Luna shrugged, breaking eye contact for a moment to stare at the closed windows. “When the time was right.” “And when would that have been? When somepony far worse happened upon that town?” “Tirek already hath stomped through, yet they remain. I see nothing to worry over,” Luna said with an eye twitch. “So you expected me to, what, never find out of this place?” “Nay, We never voiced such allegations.” “Then when? This is a problem, Lulu. These ponies-” “Those ponies, dear sister, are far from Equestria proper, harming nopony but themselves. Furthermore, they are all on the amends with what they’ve done. I saw no reason to bring you into their lives and unsettle what they’ve fought so hard for.” Celestia sighed. “So you knew how this would upset me.” “Aye. I can see the hurt in your eyes. You are not sure how to feel.” Luna sat straighter in her chair, wings ruffling. “The Element Bearers are there, correct?” Celestia nodded. “Then I say leave them be. We both know of your pupil and her friends’ abilities. Worry not for them, sister, surely they will be fine.” Staring at her sister, Celestia could tell there was a lot more to be said. “I do not remember telling you of their departure to the town.” “Settlement,” Luna cleared her throat. “Do you truly think anything happens in this castle that I am not aware of? Somepony had to help your secretary gain access into that Las Pegasus basement.” Stomping a hoof, Celestia let out a huff. “How far does your knowledge go of these ponies? This town? What are you not telling me?” Luna looked on, nonchalantly. “Nothing. Thou didst not ask. What do you wish to know?” Celestia floated over a cushion, and took a seat on the floor. In truth, there were a lot of questions. The more apt question would have been what did she not wish to know, but Luna loved her little mind games. Her magic flared, and Celestia brought over the folder, finding one particular page, and placed it on the floor between them, facing herself. “Thomas Baker.” Luna nodded with a sly grin. “The carpenter.” “Ignoring the rest of the troubled ponies of this town-” “Settlement.” Rolling her eyes, Celestia let out a sigh. “Right, settlement, ignoring everything else, what is it about him? It is a male, correct?” Luna nodded. “Aye. We’ve conversed many a night in his dreams.” Celestia raised a brow. “Although, not as of late I’m afraid. Much more troubled minds to deal with after Tirek’s defeat.” Ears downcast, Celestia stared at the page. So many questions, but one that bothered her the most, so she voiced it. “So do you trust him?” For the first time since Celestia walked into her room, Luna relaxed, leaning back into her chair with a wide grin. “Always for the throat, dear sister.” “That was not an answer.” “Nay, it was not.” “So you do not trust him amongst our ponies?” Celestia watched as Luna grinded her teeth, deep in thought. Rotating her jaw, Luna said, “I trust him in the settlement of Oasis with the other troubled souls out to redeem themselves.” Celestia glared at her sister. Luna let out a single laugh. “Dear sister, of anypony, you should be well versed in the idea of redemption.” “I am. But what upsets me is that you hid this from me.” “I would not use the word ‘hid’.” Horn glowing, Celestia looked up to the ceiling, magical numbers appearing as she counted. “Did not confide in me. Purposely held back information. Swept this under the rug.” Luna waved a hoof. “Yes, yes, and there are a hundred hundreds more other ways to say it. I told you nothing, because it was nothing.” “Thousand, Luna, I know you can count that high.” Then a thought hit her. “Was?” Silence took over the conversation as Luna stared at her sister. After a solid minute, Luna rose from her seat and stepped to the floor, walking past her bed, a wing tracing the footboard. “Sister, do you remember much of our old home?” Celestia blinked. “What does this have to do with Thomas?” “Humor me. So do you?” Closing her eyes, the faded, blurred lines of their old castle home were barely images, but instead bleeding together into a mess of oil paints. “I thought not. Being gone for a thousand years, I do.” Luna approached one of her dressers, a hoof tracing the ornate carvings around the top edge until it stopped at one of the top drawers. With a groan, she opened it, but not without a miserable sound not unlike a dying cat. Celestia blinked, focusing on the dresser. The sound wasn’t so familiar, but the feeling of hairs standing on end along her neck certainly was. Looking around her, next to the bed, and then both desks… the book shelves, another dresser… they all matched. A set. A familiar set. “These are your old furnishings,” Celestia gasped. “Nay, but replicas, for mine were destroyed due to conflict, time, and neglect. Our ponies sought out to save the art, artifacts, treasures abundant, but left mine furnishings to rot. You remember these, do you not?” “Mother’s…” Luna turned to her sister. “Very good. Mother had a keen eye on craftponyship. She made sure that the wood reflected the pony they would belong to. A rare wood for us Equestrians, but when the Saddle Arabians offered a warm gift of welcome… there was but one thing I asked.” “They made you this?” Celestia’s eyes widened, the cost, the time, how they would have offered so much for nothing? No wonder trade has been such a battle as of late. “Again, nay. I asked for but the timber.” Celestia tilted her head. She knew the answer, but wanted her sister to say it out loud. “The carpenter, Mister Baker.” She watched her sister walk from dresser, to the desk, to the wardrobe, and back to the bed. Celestia swore she was back in their old castle, the faint flickers of candle light causing ghosts of her past to dance in the shadows. Images of her younger sister pacing about, worrying over such trivial things such as how cute she found a particular guard, or what gown best showed off her assets. A small smile found its way onto Celestia’s face, and Luna was quick to notice. “So then it all, as they say, clicks now. And what, pray tell, has you grinning like you know one of my secrets?” “You never did ask that guard to dance, did you?” Luna blinked, confused for but a moment, and then remembered. “Nay, although other activities were had between us.” It was Celestia’s turn to look confused for only a moment, and then blanched. “You did not!” “Dead stallions tell no tales. Mine own tail, however, would be one he could never talk about even when living.” Sighing, Celestia shook her head. “Let's… get back on track. Thomas Baker.” “Very well.” Luna continued walking, “His skill has honed quite well, for having been a mite more than a novice upon coming here. His mentor, Do-Right, was one of impeccable detail and worth in their line of work. He taught the man well.” Celestia continued to watch Luna walk around, stopping at the headboard. “We- that is, I, went to Do-Right for the job. At the time, he was taken ill, and insisted his apprentice take the job. He… was not what I first thought.” “Not a pony.” “Correct.” “Then what? I can’t see many gryphons taking up such a profession. Typically minotaurs take up such hand oriented tasks, like the smithing works in Fillydelphia.” “True, but to be blunt, Thomas is not of our world.” Blinking, Celestia stared at her sister in confusion. “He is what is called a human. Upon my return I saw his dreams, but thought them fevered and delusional in fantasy, so I let them be. Once I met him, I realized that I was horribly wrong, and he was having nightmares of his home. “I helped heal his mind of his night terrors, although he was still burdened. So we would share stories of our past. Had I known what he was doing at the time, I’d have not said so much.” “Luna… what did you tell him?” Luna’s ears rested against her scalp, and waved a hoof to come closer. Celestia got off her cushion, and approached the bed. With a wave of magic, a seemingly random sheet was removed from the headboard, revealing a section worn down, ruining the near perfect details of the wood. “Oh, Luna, I’d thought you quit cribbing thousands of years ago! Do I need to order some cream from the doctor?” Luna blushed. “Nay, sister, these are not of recent times. In our sharing of stories, I… mentioned this. As embarrassing as it was, he shared an equal story with me. However, what he did with that information was to replicate my bad habits into the wood.” Celestia’s ears perked up. “He… carved in fake cribbing marks?” Nodding, Luna ran a hoof along the marks. “As well as replicating the squeaky top drawer on the short dresser, and the bent handle on the wardrobe. At first I was furious, I’d thought he was making a cruel joke at my expense, and ordered them repaired. After some reflection, I realized what he’d really done, and wrote a missive saying to leave it.” Luna laughed. “That day I received the headboard back, with return to sender.” “He knew you would want it to stay.” “Yes, the kniving runt.” Celestia smiled. “You seem to have taken a liking to him. I can’t think of such nicer words. Tell me, are humans tall enough to properly mount?” Luna’s blush returned tenfold, and Celestia let out a hearty laugh. Revenge was so sweet... “Yes.” Luna was grinning. Celestia’s laugh slowly got quiet, her grin shifting to a frown. “Oh.” “Aye. Our first meet, he refused to believe that he was, of all things, alive. Rambling on about some sort of purgatory for his misdeeds. After several good pinches, he realized the error in his thinking.” Celestia’s ear twitched. “Pinches? You pinched him?” “Yes. Several times in the flanks. Taut things, but nothing to draw up prince consort papers for.” Again, both mares went into a giggling fit. After a few moments, they parted from their hug. Celestia walked around Luna’s furniture, tracing the four posts of her bed with her eyes. “He did all of this?” “Took him months, but yes. Would you like me to commission you a set? Add some height to thy bed; of course, I’m sure your guards would appreciate the extra leverage.” With the roll of her eyes, Celestia returned to her cushion, looking over the paper still on the floor. “I fear he’s been quite busy, so I wouldn’t ask at this time. Although, if it gives me an excuse to meet him, I’ll consider it for the future.” “Ah, he’s still hard at work? Last I conversed with him he was struggling with supplies for a new mother on the outskirts.” “So it is true… he really is fixing everything?” Luna raised a brow. “Sister, what concern is this?” With a puff of her magic, a scroll appeared, and Celestia floated it to her sister. Luna looked over the letter, and after several minutes of reading shook her head. “Such silly ponies.” “And one human.” “Yes, although he is silly for the wrong reasons.” Luna folded up the letter, replacing it into its envelope. “I’m sure by now Thomas has verbally castrated the mayor. And the sheriff… and probably the whole settlement.” Celestia watched, smiling as Luna cast a duplicate spell on the paper. Placing the copy onto her personal desk, the original found itself tucked into the manilla folder. “One thing still eludes me.” Celestia began as Luna took a seat on a similar cushion on the floor. “Why is Thomas even here?” Luna’s ears pinned back. “Not of his own volition, I’m afraid. My best guess, is a magical storm surge. They’re more common out in the Badlands, where chaos magic had but mostly destroyed the once fruitful landscape.” “I see,” Celestia said, “so he is trapped here.” “Yes, and no.” Celestia raised a brow. “Upon his travel to our world, he had all the opportunity to return, he was just unaware. He thought himself passed on from the land of living, and was stuck in an afterlife of sorts.” “You called it purgatory?” “Aye, his word, not mine. Once I met him, and learned of his story, I investigated and found his entry point. Naive fool, had he known of magic, he could have easily driven back through and returned. There was still stone debris… what do you call it, a mixture of gravel, water, and such?” “Concrete?” “That, yes our thanks. Debris of concrete, and a strange orange and white striped barrel.” “Like those traffic barriers used in the cities?” Luna nodded. “Much larger, but I’d assume so.” “So could you open the portal back for him?” Luna shook her head. “You see, he first thought his coming here was his penance for crimes once committed to loved ones, but after my… insistence, he realized how wrong he was, and was open to the possibility of returning home. Harmony, however, decided to take it upon itself and bind him here, so now he is stuck here, until the right time.” Celestia sighed. “Harmony works in such mysterious ways.” “That it does. My best guess, is Harmony requires him to fulfill his self induced redemption.” Silence took over the conversation for several long minutes. Luna walked to her stove, pouring herself a cup of coffee, her #1 Moonbutt mug steaming on her walk back. Celestia broke the silence. “Ten years.” Luna nodded, then took a drink. “It’s impossible to fathom a thousand years, but I was at least frozen in a daze of sorts. Thomas has been from his family, friends, and home, wide awake and aware.” “I’m starting to wonder if sending Twilight and her friends was the correct choice…” With a hearty laugh, Luna draped a wing over her older sister. “Banish those thoughts. Harmony, Chaos, and Faust fawn over those six. If anything, they’re the key to helping Thomas.” “And the other ponies?” Luna sipped her coffee. “As he has helped all of them, they too help him. He’s blind to some actions, especially those towards affection. Then again, so is the mare, but that is a story for another time.” Looking through the folder again, Celestia stopped at a newer document. “Golden Amethyst. I feel as though I know the name.” Looking over her shoulder, Luna skimmed the page. “Ah, yes, the young mother. She foaled some months ago. Her husband is one of your day guards stationed in the Crystal Empire.” “Our guards.” Celestia sifted through another page. “Gilded Top? Wait…” With a chuckle, Luna nodded. “Yes, the sheriff’s son.” “No, not that; although that too is surprising. Amethyst, that was the name of one of the Ponyville founders. I think one of her great grandfoals still lives there.” “Ah, the original procurer of the library, correct?” Grimly, Celestia nodded. “Twilight did not take the loss of her home well.” “I’d imagine you felt the same with our old castle.” Celestia wrapped a wing around her sister, “And we cannot forget about your emotions. You have taken it well, ignoring the fact you blocked off all the electrical outlets in your room.” “I will one day open up to it, but for now, this is comfortable for me.” “As you wish, Lulu.” Celestia nuzzled Luna’s cheek, her sister copying the action. With a huff, Celestia separated. “I believe Spike is planning to travel to Oasis tomorrow to join Twilight.” “Oh?” Luna had a knowing grin. “He worries about her, and I know she worries about him. He’s not the baby dragon she grew up with.” “And she’s not the young unicorn he was raised by.” Celestia tapped her chin. “You know, the more I think about it, I feel like Spike could use an escort.” “Is that so, dear Tia?” “Yes, and I think I have an idea of the perfect guard.” Luna smiled, and with a clop of her hooves, her chamber doors opened. “Yes, Your Highness?” “Please send out a missive to the Crystal Empire post haste. We, and that’s both I and mine sister, wish for Spike the Dragon to have an escort by the name of Gilded Top for his travel to Oasis.” “At once, Your Highness.” With a bow, he closed the door. With a burst of magic, Celestia summoned a cup of tea, taking a dainty sip. “Well, tell me about him.” Luna froze. “Who?” With an eye roll, Celestia pointed to the file on Thomas. “You’ve met him. I’d feel a lot better having sent Twilight to meet what would be classified as an alien.” “Well… Thomas Baker is… he is a… Hrm.” Luna’s brows wrinkled. With a flare of her magic, Luna’s private desk opened, and a small bottle of amber liquid hovered towards them. With a twist, the cap was removed, and a helpful dose was added to her coffee, and much to Celestia’s shock, her sister’s tea. “This is going to take a while, best calm your nerves.”