My eyes flutter open and the gears in my mind start to grind. Tiny cogs strain against each other as I slowly regain the functionality of my brain. Throwing my eyes about, I’m only met with an ethereal landscape dotted with twinkling stars, not unlike Luna’s mane.
Wait, Luna? Ethereal?
“Hello again,” a voice rings out like the flow of water caressing my ears.
Ah, dream.
Shaking my head a little and taking a deep breath, I turn to my left as Luna touches down on the…ground…sure, that works…and folds her wings in.
“Sup, how goes things in the Empire?” I say sitting down on my haunches. Luna sighs and smiles faintly.
“Well enough, though the Church officials are a thorn in my side, as always.”
I smile back at her as she sits down as well.
“How so?”
The only thing the newspapers ever talked about before regarding the Churches was all the good they did and how glorious their leaders were. Twilight’s Church running her school, for example.
“Cadence’s Church specifically keeps asking why she was suddenly called back to Canterlot.”
“Why wouldn’t they already know that? I was smack dab in the middle of the western settlement when I woke up after my ascension.”
“Yes, but the Crown has refused to officially comment on anything regarding your incident. So right now, there are only unconfirmed rumors of what actually happened and why Cadence was called back.”
“How exactly are creatures reacting to the rumors? Whatever they are?”
“Right now the most widely accepted rumor I’ve been briefed on is that it’s just another false alarm and the media is simply making a frenzy over nothing.”
I smirk.
“They’re gonna have one fuck of a reaction when they learn the truth. When is that happening by the way?”
I pause with my mouth still open like an idiot.
“The announcement, I mean?”
Luna nods.
“All I can say is that we’re not done discussing yet, but we have narrowed it down to two options. We will tell you when we know for certain.”
“What? Why can’t you tell me? I don’t think something like that would be considered a national security secret like what Cadence told me about the fake ascensions.”
I draw my head back just a smidge and purse my lips when Luna suddenly stands up and flares her wings out, her expression contorted to a serious frown.
“Who dared mention such a thing to you?” She bellows and I feel my heart pound in my chest.
“Cadence did, I’m sorry! But she didn’t give me any details for the exact reason I said, I swear!” I cry instantly, my wings barely unfolded now as if in preparation to take off.
Several heartbeats later found Luna still with her wings flared out, her eyes flicking around my frame as if to find some long-lost truth.
Heh, maybe she is.
Finally, she relaxes her stance, draws her wings in, and sighs.
“My apologies, Mezzo, but I have to be sure. And while I do not think you are lying, you need to understand something. No creature can ever know about that. Even the fact that it happened must NOT get out to the public.”
At this point, I feel like some berated twelve-year-old whose Mom just caught them jerk-
“Do you understand me?” She says softly. I just sit there like an idiot for half a second before slowly nodding my head with Luna eyeing me all the while.
“Yeah, I get it,” I mutter before bringing my hoof up to my chest.
“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
Luna smiles softly before sitting back down and sighing once again.
“Thank you.”
“Yeah…” I reply, my voice nearly shaking like a small earthquake.
“It’s not that we don’t trust you, but…you’re still new to this. Those kinds of things are the last thing anycreature should concern themselves with, especially when it can cause mass panic.”
I nod.
“Yeah, no, I get it. Just, why did Cadence tell me if she wasn’t allowed to in the first place?”
Luna smiles, and this time, I can feel my shoulders drop slightly at the sight of it.
“Simple, she made a mistake.”
I pause and open my mouth slightly, looking down.
No fucking way I’m that dumb, right?
I chuckle and shake my head, lowering my gaze to the cascading blanket of stars below us.
“Right, completely fu- forgot about…wait, sorry, do you mind if I curse?”
Luna shakes her head. “Go for it.”
“Completely fucking forgot about that, whoops.”
I look back up to see Luna’s mouth still curled up into a smile.
“Sorry, it feels like having to hold in a sneeze when I don’t do it sometimes.”
“While I cannot say I understand, I can say that it’s alright.”
I nod again.
Now, where do we go from here?
“If I can give you a piece of advice?” She asks.
“Always.”
“While neither I, nor Cadence, mind your swearing, there are inevitably going to be creatures who look down on you for such a habit, as they see swearing as immature.”
I smirk.
I can’t remember a time when this hasn’t crossed my mind.
“Yeah, no, I know it’s not exactly a good habit to have. I think I’m too self-aware to let myself ever forget that, but it’s just a matter of whether or not I can control it in front of others at this point. Clearly, I can’t if what I just did with you is any indication.”
That and I don’t think I could keep up the consistency needed to break the habit.
“Well, in any case, please do try to keep it to a minimum while in public. Creatures will be looking up to you after the announcement, whether you like it or not.”
I nod and sigh.
Fuck, even more I need to worry about?
“Thanks for the heads up, Luna, I’ll try my best.”
Fuck me! Gotta watch what I say, how I act, keep everything in check?! Fucking dammit, I need-
“And Mezzo, “ she starts. “Do not think you’re alone in this. If you have any concerns, please do not hesitate to bring them to any one of us. We have already bared the burdens that you are about to be thrown into. Use us as a resource, we are here to guide you. The offer we made during the initial meeting does still, and always will stand.”
I sigh again and nod.
Maybe I should.
I have her right here. This is my dream, no doubt she can at least sense that something is brewing.
I’m going to outlive them all. I’m going to have to bury every creature I’ve ever loved and watch everything I’ve ever known decay into the endless void of time. Being constantly watched and scrutinized by the entire world?
I go to open my mouth but a brick wall stops me. An omnipresent and overwhelming force keeps my jaw locked tight for a split second.
Maybe I could ask them what they all want at their funerals? Maybe that’d be light-hearted? I don’t know. I need more time to figure it out.
“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.”
What do I do? Should I just walk in?
A pale blue hippogriff with dark azure accents dressed in a white lab coat brushes past me to swing the door open.
I mean, she didn’t explicitly say it was fine for me to just barge in at any time.
I scan my gaze across the vast ceiling for a third time, as if in an attempt to finally discover “what’s up?” As swathes of beautiful colors fill my vision, so to do swathes of thoughts consume my mind.
Everycreature in the world expects so much of them! How the fuck do they handle it? Surely they’re not just blind to it, they’ve been able to keep the peace this long for a reason.
I sigh and step out of the way of a small changeling rushing past me towards the door, also adorned in the same powder-white lab coat.
I need to get my mind off of this, that’s the whole reason I’m here! I think if I just confidently walk in and head straight for Twilight’s office, I’ll be fine. Just gotta follow somecreature in there when they walk in, I guess.
I let my gaze fall to the floor and I pace around the entrance to Twilight’s Applications Lab.
After the first minute, I grit my teeth but force a deep breath out of myself.
After the second, my hoof steps become heavy for a second before I force them to be softer on the ground.
At the third, the lab doors fly open again and a tan pegasus mare comes flying out like a frazzled hummingbird that just slammed into a window, a stack of papers haphazardly cradled her arms.
Catching the door as it swings closed, I sidestep inside the lab and immediately make a beeline for Twilight’s office, careful to avoid eye contact.
Just walk quickly and confidently and no creature is going to question me. Towards the back of the room, down the hallway to the right, if I remember correctly.
I have to squeeze past unicorns fiddling with soldering irons and earth ponies drilling nail holes in the back of some wooden prototype.
How they keep this place from feeling like a sweaty gym locker is beyond me, although I’m sure if I took the time to look around a bit I could figure it out. Anyway, back to the task at hoof!
Down this corridor, past the laser cutter, and make a right down the hallway. Finally.
Stopping at a comparatively tall lavender door marked with a plaque bearing Twilight’s name, I raise a hoof to knock.
Wait, am I-
Knock knock knock
“Come in!” I hear a muffled voice from beyond the door.
I twist the doorknob with my right wing and with a small click and a soft, barely noticeable beep, the door opens.
I step through the doorway and into two gazes, one soul-piercing and the other softer but no less serious.
Wait, alabaster coat? Blonde mane? What was her name again? She was the one I saw arguing with Celestia when I first got here.
“Oh, Mezzo, hello, I-”
“Sorry, am I interrupting something?”
“See what I’m saying, Princess?” The mystery mare starts while rising from her chair in front of Twilight’s desk. “He has no place in-”
“I understand your concern, Secretary Frost. One moment, please,” Twilight says and briefly raises a hoof before returning her attention to me.
“Is it urgent?”
“No, I’ll wait outside, sorry,” I sputter out quickly before shutting the door.
Holy fuck, this was a bad idea. I’ve already fucked up! AGAIN! I hope it wasn’t serious, but that’s just wishful thinking. Frost’s, er- Secretary Frost seems to hold some real contempt with me. What the fuck did I do? Well, I did just interrupt them, and I am pretty ignorant to the goings-on of this castle. I think. Not like I can know what I don’t know.
A minute later, the office door next to me clicks and beeps open, and a furious-looking Secretary Frost storms out. If you squint hard enough, you can make out the heat waves radiating off of her like looking down a street of asphalt on a hot summer’s day.
Turning my attention to the doorway, I hear a small, barely audible sigh before Twilight calls out again.
“You can come in now.”
“What was that about?” I say as I tentatively trot in and take a seat in the still-warm chair.
Twilight shakes her head.
“Nothing important. Now, what brings you here?” She asks, finally smiling again.
“Um,” I start. Well, this seems really inconsequential now. “I just wanted to check in, see if there was anything I could do to help around here.”
Twilight shakes her head again, smiling this time.
“Both of you? Cadence asked the same thing about my paperwork earlier. Wait, why isn’t she with you? I thought you two did everything around here together.”
“I slipped in through the door after somecreature left, and I didn’t wanna bother her.”
Twilight shakes her head again.
Am I really that disappointing that you shake your head three times?
“Mezzo, you’re allowed to come in here as you please, your magic signature has already been logged into the system.”
I cock an eyebrow.
“So I can go anywhere?”
“Well, not anywhere, but this is one of the places you can come and go at will.”
“I see…” I mutter and lower my gaze briefly.
“Anyway, no there isn’t much to do right now. I’m still waiting on the latest results from my testing lab to see if my next project has any viability for the public, and Discord is off visiting Spike again.”
“Oooo, what’re you making?” I ask, my tone reaching an inflection point.
“That’s a secret. For now, at least, until I can get it into a workable state, assuming that proves to be possible.”
I nod, and silence hangs in the air for a split second too long.
Nu-uh, I ain’t letting that happen this time.
“Does Discord ever help you around any of your labs?”
“Of course! Well, sometimes. Do you know about chaos theory?”
Yeah, I’ve watched several NetMeTube videos about it, all pretty interesting, getting seemingly random results from a deterministic system. But I can say something funnier. I think.
“Yeah, I vaguely know it as how I get random numbers when I type ‘math dot random’ in a program.”
Nah, that wasn’t funny in the slightest, fuck me.
“Well, you are right about that, but the underlying math behind it is given by equations governed by chaos theory, which Discord helped me discover.”
“Oh, wait, really? Holy shit that’s awesome! Alright, I think I understand what you’re saying. But just in case, would you mind explaining it to me like I’m two years old?”
Twilight smirks and raises a hoof.
“Well, let me explain one simple way to get unpredictable results from a deterministic equation, which is the definition of chaos.”
I lean back into the plush fabric of the chair and adjust my wings, my gaze still focused on her as she drones on.
Thankfully, it’s interesting.