• Member Since 6th Mar, 2016
  • offline last seen 13 minutes ago

Irrespective


I live for upvotes but I'd die for comments.

T
Source

Baked Bean, an aspiring writer of questionable skill, has come across the perfect source of inspiration: the Castle of the Two Sisters. All it will take is a quick trip through the Everfree Forest, and a new world of potential writing prompts will be his for the taking.

Once there, however, he finds there's more to the Castle—and the old legends surrounding it—than he ever imagined, and an ancient law will force him to mate with all of the Royal Princesses...

...whether he likes it or not.


This story is an alternate take on No Nose Knows, so expect plenty of polygamous shenanigans.

Sex tag is for references. Ye be warned.


Edited by Zen and Ponies, Sipioc, Georg, and Spartanpony007!

Much thanks to Sipioc for the wonderful cover art!

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 371 )

You know, I'm proud of how evil Irr can be when properly motivated....
thumbs.gfycat.com/ShadowyDearBarasingha-size_restricted.gif

This better be a long runner... *preps pod in case it is not*

I'm just going to favorite this in advance, I already know it's going to be great.

9539666
It's amazing what one can do with the proper motivation. :pinkiecrazy:

9539711
Oh, no worries there. Much more to come, trust me. :yay:

9539714
You betcha it's gonna be great. :)

There is an ancient law, written during the foundation of Equestria, that states that being married to one alicorn is to be married to them all.

I give it two chapters before Shining Armor murders Bean.

I don't know, herds aren't my thing.

9539761
Oh, I don't think I'd even give it that long. :pinkiehappy:

9539764
Well, it's a small herd. More of a group. Maybe a gaggle.
But! I understand if it still not your thing, so never fear! I am still working on Principal Noses and Ancient Roses, so monogamy!Bean and Celly will still have many glorious adventures together! :yay:

9539770
Thanks for telling me, I will be on the look out for those two stories.

9539775
I should clarify that it is one story, and it can be found right here, if you like. :)

9539784
Thanks man, I will take a look at it.

9539761
9539770
Then shining will murder him again when twilight ascends. Then too flurry heart if that happens, poor bean

Wooo more bean. Great chapter I look forward to more

9539813
Here's hoping Bean has a good life insurance policy. :)

9539813
And when Shining himself marries Cadence(or is there something that forbids him joining in:trollestia:) he would inadvertently marry his sister as well as soon as she ascended.:pinkiecrazy:

Well, Bean certainly found his muse to start the story he was looking for. And even the first paragraph.

"Chapter One: I wake up only to find myself in the middle of a Royal Bean Sandwich"

This is awfully well-written for an April Fool's Day joke.

9540088
He already took the opposite approach. Guess he had to make up for it. :twilightsheepish:

And before some white knight thinks that's an insult, go see last year's April Fools chapter. It's true. And it was deliberate. So not an insult. Nyah~!

if it wasn't a April Fool's joke I would have loved to see more of this, through would have liked it better if NMM had won instead.

Luna turned, a knife held in her magic. “There is one way.”

:rainbowderp: ahh. I see you took a page out of the Egyptian book of romance. Carry on.

Luna’s head dipped in shame. “I do mean us, Mister Bean. There is an ancient law, written during the foundation of Equestria, that states that being married to one alicorn is to be married to them all. When I forced you to become my mate, I inadvertently married you to Princess Celestia as well.”

The corners of Luna’s mouth twitched upwards. “Thank you. Perhaps one day I will be able to repay you for your generosity. You know,” she added with a peculiar twinkle in her eyes, “you have a most clever and gentle tongue. I look forward to discovering what other uses we may find for it.”

In the words of myself terribly impersonating George Takei:

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0aPfPibJNiE

Dude this is amazing i cant WAIT for the next chapter!:pinkiehappy:

9539850
You'll just have to wait and see. :pinkiecrazy:

9539865
"Perhaps Bean Burrito would work better. Hmmm...." :)

9540088
I decided to be different this year. Little variety never hurts, right? :twilightsmile:

9540176
Very true. I have much pennance to make after last year. :twilightsheepish:

9540196
NMM win?
Well, there is always next year...

9540250
Hopefully Luna doesn't have too many of those ancient love customs influencing her. :)

9540264
:rainbowlaugh:

9540307
Heh heh heh... :)

9540338
I am afraid I see your link as broken. 😨

“We shall have to find the Royal Shackles, the Consort’s Collar, and the Leash of Obedience… oh. You mean something else.” Luna hesitated....”

HAH!

The corners of Luna’s mouth twitched upwards. “Thank you. Perhaps one day I will be able to repay you for your generosity. You know,” she added with a peculiar twinkle in her eyes, “you have a most clever and gentle tongue. I look forward to discovering what other uses we may find for it.”

DOUBLE HAH!

Man, I love you...and your fics too, I suppose :rainbowlaugh:
For reals though, I dunno if you plan on continuing this and fleshing it out as a full story (considering you’re still working on the main storyline) but God-damn I hope you do! :moustache:

i do hope you continue this story id like to see where is go's

9540371
Oh my indeed. :trollestia:

9540389
9540485
9540466

Never fear, more is coming! There is much fun to be had with this! :yay:

TDR

...... part of me thinks this will be interesting and part of me expects it's an april fools day thing.

9540557
You are right on both counts. There will be more to this story, but it did start when I said to myself, "Self, what would be a good thing to do for April Fool's this year?" :)

9540575
Waking up Bean saying that today is tomato sauce day and EVERY FOOD must be served with a side of ketchup?

9540584
That's more of a horror story. Maybe for Nightmare Night...

9540593
Sure, maybe you can even do the scene of Kane Citizen and make him twist and turn, before waking up.

9540440
If you read them, be warned. They are a lot more jacked up than you know.:pinkiesick:

April Fools Alt-Universe or not, you've got my interest, Irrespective.

9540792
*in Mister Burns voice* Excellent. :pinkiecrazy:

Never fear, more is coming! There is much fun to be had with this! :yay:

^_______________________________^

So much potential so much insanity waiting to explode:pinkiecrazy:
And Sunset.... Celestia is still waiting for her Toaster :O

9540837
Bwa ha ha ha! The insanity shall last forever! :yay:

9540811
Ah! There we go, and very much woo-hoo! :)

I still need to read the others, but if this is an alternate take on the first story I'm assuming it's not necessary to read it or the sequels?

9540905
You'll be missing a fair bit, but so far its a generally clean refresh that doesn't seem to require knowledge of the first story(ies, really) to get your bearings.

Oh Lawd, this is magnificent :trollestia: :yay::heart:

9540905
9540918
This is intended to be a stand-alone story, so Bobbles is right. Reading No Nose Knows is not required, but since it is my most popular story, I do recommend you still read it anyway. :trollestia:

9540968
Why thank you! :yay:

If Bean thinks a newly-purified Princess Luna is beautiful, just WAIT until she returns to her proper form...

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