• Member Since 6th Mar, 2016
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Irrespective


"Anything described can be described s'more." -the Lolly Family

T
Source

Young Stone Spring discovers that asking for the Princess to be his witness leads to some unexpected and peculiar results.


*Editing services provided by Spartanpony007, Sipioc, Georg, and Zen and Ponies.*

*Cover art provided by Sipioc.*

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 99 )

She just appears whenever somepony takes her name in vain? That must play merry hob with her scheduling. What if someone says it in the middle of the night? Say, in some all-night bar? Does she just materialize, snoring, on the table?

9371722
I can just imagine the poor bar patrons turning to each other and getting into an argument about how they're going to explain what happened when she wakes up. :pinkiecrazy:
I will touch on the schedule problems in a future chapter. :)

Is that a reimagination of As Celestia Is My Witness story?
Because it sure looks like it is.

Hit really close to home, besides the magical Princess part.

9371730
To a degree, but I actually wrote this before I knew that one existed, to be honest. :twilightsheepish:
9371733
If only that worked in real life, right? :trollestia:

Is it just me, or is Celestia channeling Pinkie this time?

9371875
Embrace the Pink. Be the Pink. :pinkiehappy:

9371878
The answers are coming. Trust me. :raritywink:

9371882
Okay sure hahaha love the story.
Pretty interesting concept, I guess.

Another interesting story from the mind of Irrespective. I'm gonna be keeping an eye on this one!

will have to read this later, since i'm still playing catch up with a dozen other stories.

soooo is there going to be some more nose knows grade comedy romance in this at some point?

9371722
i would imagine she hears them all and likely choses which ones to respond to.

cause otherwise shed have issues cause do you know what teh chances are in a given population of it not happening that 2 ponies would call out at the same exact time on diffrent ends of the continent...there very very low.

and if she 'had' to apear every time it happend then shed be torn in half, metaphysicly, the second that happend.

9372223
There will be some humor in the next chapter, but overall the tone of this story will be more to the serious side.

ooooooh this is going to be one of 'those' stories....interesting...

9372298
Tragidy and farce go hoof in hoof, they compliment one another and help the flow of things never be afraid to throw a bit of humor even into the depepest part of a serious chapter, it can serve as a stressbreaker and keep your readers from burning out

its a delicate balance but to be honest from what i've seen of your work you are 'more' then capable of it.

9371749

Really? That was published back in my early days with the fandom, back in 2012. You don’t rush things do you. If speed cannot be expected, then I will just require quality. I’ll check back in a few years for the next excellent chapter.

9372560
Well, I was late to the party and didn't show up until 2016. :twilightsheepish: There's many a story on FimFic that I haven't gotten to yet, sadly.

Tears are weak , his father would scold. There is no room for weakness here. We must be strong, like the Royal Guard. Emotion leads to ruin. Power comes from control.

No. Just no. That's a steaming pile of road apples and everyone should know it.

9372613
I know alot of good fanfics, if you want to know some just shoot me a message. I love to read :P

Hey! Featured, Mon ami!

9372669

Enh... depends on the person. Some people need an extreme to balance them out. At least until they can naturally find their own balance. But this was not right for Stone. Likewise it doesn't seem right for his father. If this pain is all due to loss of his mother, then likely his father is passing on the same advice he's using himself, which might also be wrong for him.

But sometimes that's what it takes just to keep functioning. Some people, once they start giving it all over to their emotions, just can't stop. Likewise the opposite is true. People are fragile beings, as simple as they are complex.

9371749
it would be far more bearable,
me: "Celestia as my witness-"
Celestia: *pop* "hello~"
me: "-i will hug a princess"
Celestia: "aww~"

halfway through the story "I like this so far, I swear the way this is written feels familiar though"

Finishes chapter "Well, that was both mildly depressing yet entertaining at the same time. Definitely gonna keep an eye on this one."

Is about to press the follow button and notices the author "Hey It's that one guy who ships Celestia with a Bean!"

9373756
Ah ha! Yes, yes, it is I! :yay:

Bit of a different theme for me but still a good story. I think you'll like it. :)

There's something about this story that's just mean-spirited. Are you seeking a katharsis for something? I don't think I'll read further.

9373851
Not meant to be mean spirited. If you can trust me, I promise it'll be worth it to stay with the story.

“Well, I cannot witness something if I am not there, can I?”

Oh! Oh! Trivia time! She should be able to witness even without being physically present. The premise of the expression "as god is my witness" is that god is omniscient and omnipresent. So anything you do is by definition observed/"witnessed" by god. This is invoked many times in the bible. For example:

Romans 1:9

"For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel"

2 Corinthians 1:23

"I call God as my witness—and I stake my life on it"

Philippians 1:8

"For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus."


Which is of course fascinating, when you see all the times that ponies proclaim that Celestia is their witness:

* Rarity: "As Celestia is my witness, I shall never be sisterless again!"

* Fluttershy: "As Celestia is my witness, I'm never going to be a pushover again!"

It's clearly intended to be a Gone with the Wind reference to Scarlet O'hara, but the concept they're invoking is used many times in the bible, and in both cases 'god' specifically is mentioned, and these quotes are clearly casting Celestia in the role of god. In fact, Celestia demonstrates the ability to witness things she's not present for, in Season 1 episode 2 when Nightmare Moon is defeated. Skip to about 18:30 into the video. The mane 6 have just defeated Nightmare Moon, and they're talking about the elements. Watch what happens. Applejacks says that she thinks they really do represents the elements.

Celestia, hearing this, responds to Applejack, saying that "indeed you do."

Even though she's not in the room, and only after "witnessing" this event and responding to Applejack does she fly in from beyond the horizon as a ball of light, then materializes a body to wear while an angelic choir sings in the background.

So, in conclusion: Celestia should be able to witness everything just fine. :trollestia:

Goddamn this Celly is a troll.

I like this story...but I swear it's really familiar from somewhere...

I will enjoy this story trollestia is even better then mollestia

All those ancient alicorn oaths, causing so much trouble...

What is she, some kind of djinn? Unless he's got some super weird mojo going, this ought to be negatable. Or at least suppressible. At the very least, they need a plan. Firstly, she needs to tell those two fillies, because he obviously can't, that this is not a thing that can keep happening. They should define a specific span of time, say, 8:30-9:00 in the morning, where she can take a moment in case he needs to call her for something.

But I suppose I'm trying to interject pragmatism into a lighthearted comedy, aren't I?

9375462
They are very valid points, to be fair. Celestia should listen to your advice. :yay::twilightsmile:

“I know,” Slate cut off the rant, “but this is different. Mister Budget likes my work so far, and the other ponies in accounting have already asked me to look over a few other accounts. Things here are going a lot better than they have anywhere else.”

Wait, Mister Budget? Like, Balanced Budget of the Bean clan?:rainbowhuh:

9375532
Probably not. Bean's Uncle Budge hails from Salt Lick, so this is a different Budget.
(I honestly used the name just to match the accountant theme with Stone's dad. :twilightsmile:)

Nice little story ya got here. Ya mind if I stick around? :rainbowdetermined2:

This is such a weird premise.

Why is it working so well? :rainbowhuh:

9375608
Please do! :yay:


9375612
I would love to say I can take a weird premise and make it fun, but it's probably my editors who take my crazy ideas and sort them out into something that works. :twilightsmile:

And this brings up who else can summon Celestia or is it just stone

Celestia, you massive troll. :rainbowlaugh: I think I already got you figured out. (But if I end up being right, I don't want to ruin it for anyone else.)

9375538
it would make for a fun bit of universe interconctivity, perhaps somewhere along the way this lad encountered baked bean and did something kind for him, perhaps before the bean became a prince and now that he is he wanted to pay back that debt of kindness with celestias help?
and maybe get his daily quota of chaotic mischeif out of the way somewhere along the way.

it would make for an interesting little side moral about good deeds always being rewarded in the end, even if they dont seem like much at the time.

9374990

I think concept, going to have a look around see where's it's familiar

'tis something that must always be remembered, talk to people. Never assume.

Okay... you made me cry. And then made me laugh. Bravo.

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