• Member Since 5th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen Jun 6th, 2019

LightningBass94


Dying. Funny thing, that. It never happens how you expect it.

E

Glistening Spear is caught in a storm, only to be saved by a breed of dragon thought to be long extinct, wiped out by a historical plague. In return, she is asked to deliver an item of high importance to safety.

Preread by FamousLastWords and Adda le Blue

Proof read by Sky_Wolf

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 96 )

'Bout time! So excited!!

Very nice, but what was with the sudden transition break? I had to do a double take to figure out what that was about. lol

5785576
No I was referring to when you went from he past to the letter in the future. (I got the passing out part)

800 year time jump in the blink of an eye.

5785581 Because that part of the story was over. Nothing else relevant to this story happened 800 years in the past. The whole idea of the story was for Spike to learn about all that history and his lineage, but it would have been boring if I'd had Celestia explain it all. The letter was the transition. There was a page break and the letter to Spike, making it obvious that the setting had shifted.

Umm a couple minor errors.

"They came here to die in piece and protect you from the dangers of the world.

I think you mean "die in peace," not "in piece."

"Woah," Spike replied, eyes wide in awe.

I'm pretty sure it's "whoa"...

"Ah contraire, Spike.

It should be "Au contraire."

That said, I quite enjoyed this. I'm not terribly sure the nature of the plague was clear or made much sense to me (spores from a flower that killed the flower that produced them?) but it was a good story nonetheless. I enjoyed this idea of where Spike came from.

5785595 I don't see a page break; for me it was just sad Celestia and then a letter that was suddenly 800 years later.

5785917 Likely the spores killed the ecosystem supporting the flowers, followed by the flowers dying from lack of nutrition. Either that, or Celestia turned up the heat to ensure the flowers died.

5785917

I think you mean "die in peace," not "in piece."

I did, indeed. I'm actually not sure why I made that mistake. :rainbowhuh:

I'm pretty sure it's "whoa"...

I looked it up, and you're right. I've never been corrected on that. Thanks. :twilightsheepish:

It should be "Au contraire."

Thanks. I knew that, and I attribute this one to the sticky keys on the keyboards at work. :twilightoops:

That said, I quite enjoyed this. I'm not terribly sure the nature of the plague was clear or made much sense to me (spores from a flower that killed the flower that produced them?) but it was a good story nonetheless. I enjoyed this idea of where Spike came from.

Thanks. You're correct about the plague. The spores weren't meant to kill the flowers, or anything more than their natural predators, but I was trying to convey that the magic nature of the flowers, themselves, caused the spores to evolve so out of hand that they began eliminating everything. Honestly, I could go into really heavy detail on the mechanics of the plague I created, but not without a massive info dump. I felt I was in the danger zone in that particular category already.

I'm glad you enjoyed my story, and I thank you once again for the corrections. I worked really hard to make sure there weren't any typos before posting, but I suppose they still evaded me.

5786159 There's a line... It's right above the letter.

5786286 You're actually on the right track with the former explanation. It was too ambitious and wiped out the entire biome.

Byoutiful.

5786355 Just double checked; there is no such line.

5786488 I've looked three times now, twice in reading mode and once in editing mode. It's there. This is a ridiculous argument, and I'm ending it here. :ajbemused:

5786346

I'm glad you enjoyed my story, and I thank you once again for the corrections. I worked really hard to make sure there weren't any typos before posting, but I suppose they still evaded me.

Aww, don't worry about a very few typos like that. You can be the best writer in the world and still make errors like that, simply because we're human. It's hard to catch our own typos too--you know what it's supposed to say, so your brain fills in what's supposed to be there when you reread it.

hanks. You're correct about the plague. The spores weren't meant to kill the flowers, or anything more than their natural predators, but I was trying to convey that the magic nature of the flowers, themselves, caused the spores to evolve so out of hand that they began eliminating everything. Honestly, I could go into really heavy detail on the mechanics of the plague I created, but not without a massive info dump. I felt I was in the danger zone in that particular category already.

I know people complain about info dumps, but I like the detail. I wouldn't mind if you were to put more details about the plague in the comments!! It would make more sense to me if the flowers (do flowers give off spores like that? Do you mean, like, pollen? Or maybe some kind of fungi?) had gotten some random blast of extra magic, something that happened naturally and unpredictably but twisted them into something different. (Actually, depending on how the disease works, fungi might actually make tons of sense because they're involved in decomposition...) Anyways, I'd love to hear the mechanics you came up with!

It needs a "sad" tag, but other then that... a good story.:twilightsmile: Could be canon!:pinkiegasp:
And I always love this relationship between, Celestia and Spike. :moustache::heart::trollestia:

I love it! Spike's origins are a real favorite of mine, since the show refuses to give us answers. But then, that's why fan fiction is so awesome, isn't it? :derpytongue2:

Really good job, friend. :ajsmug:

:raritystarry:Spikes eight hundred years old?
:moustache: Laid eight hundred and fifteen years ago !
:twilightsheepish: Spike's an old fert
:rainbowlaugh: He's way too old for you Rares !
:derpytongue2: Spike's a dirty old dragon

:moustache::raritywink:

Gratz on making the popular box

5786577 I don't have time now, but I'll definitely respond later with the details.

5786843 Well, it makes sense when you think about it. In my timeline, Twilight was about 5 when Spike was hatched. She was too young for a child. Celestia had to have raised him. I doubt any of the servants would have liked the idea of raising a fire breathing dragon. :rainbowderp:

5786930 Thanks. I'm just really fond of Equestrian History in general. Some day, I'd like to write an entire history book of Equestria. :raritystarry:

5787012 But then... she likes older guys, doesn't she? :raritywink:

5787036 I had no idea I had! Thanks. It's been awhile. Lol.

Loved it, but thought spike should have stayed in the cave a bit longer... Seeing as he apparently waited an excessive amount of time to find the truth. And I thought for a moment while reading the part explaining Glistening Spear that spike was going to assume that the wars she fought in were against his race of dragons. I only thought this because, although yes Celestia says glisten brought him to Canterlot, she didn't say to him that Glisten fought diamond dogs, just that she fought in wars. Given spikes predictable nature, I had assumed that he would assume those wars were with dragons, and that he would flip out or something. Though this is a ton of words for something relatively microscopic and is also completely personal, I still felt the need to say it.

But loved the story overall! Every bit of it!
:twilightsmile:

5786511
5786707
Well that's fine and dandy but even though it's there on your computer, IT STILL NEVER SHOWED UP ON MINE. So PLEASE don't get pissed at me for TRYING TO HELP because I DON'T HAVE A LINE BREAK when I look.
i.imgur.com/NzoXLl1.png

Wait, why are Glistening Spear's remains with the dragon's? Did Celestia or someone move them there?

5787655

I'm guessing she returned to die with Spike's parents.

5787691
Hm, must have been three of those movie days.

5787536 Lol, not pissed. I just find this whole shindig really funny. I'm assuming its your background colour that makes it invisible. No biggie.

5787727

The only other thing I can think of is if Celestia returned the body either afterwards or before Glistening Spear died.

5787742 Ok, it was just frustrating that it's clearly not there but it is for everyone else apparently.:ajsleepy: If it's there then it's all good, but other than what you just suggested I have no clue as to why it's not there for me...:applejackunsure:
(I made an imgur account to upload that screenshot just to prove I wasn't trolling, lol)

This was a fun read, but honestly, I pretty much skipped the first part.

From the description, I knew the main part was about spike, so that's what I was interested in reading about. I just wanted to get to the meat of the story.

But by the time I finished the spike part, I almost wanted to go back and read the part about miss spear.

I think the story would work much better if the first and second halves were swapped.

Why does this have no story tags?

I like these stories that provide a back-story to spikes egg. Too bad we'll never get a legitimate answer for why the teachers forced a child to hatch a dragon egg, then made her take care of the dragon for the rest of her life.

Glistening Spear sounds like a porn name for ponies. Not saying that's a bad thing, just saying. <3

Yeah, questions about the disease: it sounded like they contaminated Spear when they treated her, so wouldn't it be all over Spike's egg and that basket Spear left outside of Celestia's door?

5788845

I disagree. The second part has spoilers for too many of the details of the first part, which would reduce the impact of the first part, so simply swapping the parts would make the story worse. But I don't think that the spoilers can be taken out without making Celestia's talk with Spike content-free, which would make the second part worse. I don't see a way to reverse the order without making the story worse.

5790349

Eh, what you call spoilers, I call foreshadowing and leading in. For me, the first part had less impact than it felt it should have after reading the second part. Besides, does knowing the summary of a story really hurt it?

Then again, I'm someone who always looks at spoilers for everything I watch.

.........très bien.
Very good, indeed.

5787800 I wasn't angry either, but the back and forth, "Nuh-uh!" "Uh huh!" was getting us nowhere...

5787436 Thanks. I appreciate it. Lol. I didn't even touch on what the war was about in the last scene, did I? Just as I was, Spike was a bit too preoccupied with his own history, and Celestia did tell him that his race was wiped out by a plague, not by ponies. That most likely would have thrown a whole new element into it that would have made this all the more interesting though...

5787727 As stated briefly in the first scene, she was the fastest flyer in Equestria of her time. Imagine this. In official maps of Equestria released by Hasbro, Canterlot and Cloudsdale are about equidistant from Ponyville. Canterlot is a full day's trip by train, but Rainbow Dash manages to fly to Cloudsdale in far less time than that. This place was approximately twice that distance and would have taken Glisten a full day's trip there and back.

5787786 Glisten came in the dead of night, careful to stay far away from anypony else for fear of infecting them. The plague was airborne, after all.

5788845 Perhaps it would have, but this is the way it came to me in my head, and it may have confused people if it hadn't been in chronological order. I would agree that the part with Celestia and Spike might have worked as an excellent prologue to a story about the entire life and death of Spikes parents and Glisten. Did you ever go back and read the first half, by chance?

5789166 ^

5789977 Because I totally forgot to save that shit. :twilightsheepish: Consider it fixed.

5790034 Hrm.. I never did explain why it became an entry exam for Celestia's school, but I imagine it never was. It was an impossible challenge brought before each and every one of the potential students that served to not only judge their problem solving skills, but find the one who had the magical prowess to actually hatch the egg. When she was found, of course Celestia would want to raise her personally, ensuring that she would do good in the world with enough power to end it. I don't believe she raised Spike, but that they grew up more as sworn brother and sister. Think Luffy and Ace, if you watch One Piece...

5790271 They all sound a bit like pornstar/ stripper names. :ajsmug:

5790275 No. The spores were airborne, but they died quickly (within an hour or so) without the warmth of an organism to sustain them. As neither the egg nor the basket could breath or generate heat of their own, they were safe.

5790371 You did enough. I was there when I needed help, and you readily gave it. It's been awhile since I've had a one-shot in the featured box. I'm pretty stoked.

5790888 Thanks, Ava. :twilightsmile: I didn't hype it up too much?

5791046
Ah, I guess that makes sense, now that you've explained it, though I feel it's a bit of a stretch to assume most readers would be able to make that connection. Perhaps consider adding that little tidbit in the main story, it certainly seems like a question a young Spike might ask, and it would expand Glistening's character.

Then again, I am the only one who seems bothered by this, so maybe I should just get to memorizing Equestria's geography instead of bothering you.

Great story, really enjoyed it. But...

Winged creatures are born with their wings. Never in nature have they grown as a creature developed.

Butterflies are famous for exactly this.

5791219 Oh, you're not bothering me. Personally, I don't feel like the maps of Equestria are quite complete enough. I have a much more detailed one I use in my head, but I do like to keep major landmarks spaced canonically. It may be a stretch for others to make that connection, but I do like my story as it is. You make a valid point though, so I'll consider revising it if it becomes a frequent concern. I'm glad I could clear the air a bit for you. Do you have any other questions I might be able to answer? :twilightsmile:

5791278 Ok, true, but they're insects, not mammals or reptiles. While you do have a point, I would imagine Changelings going through that sort of metamorphosis rather than Dragons. I suppose by wording alone, you do have Celestia beat here, though. :twilightsheepish:

5791314 Yeah, it's not really a big deal - it just stood out to me as soon as I read it as "Wait, that's not right".

5791321 You do have a point. I may need to change that sentence a bit...

5791296
Well, I was a little confused to why Glistening would return to the dragons, but it makes perfect sense considering she wouldn't want to infect anyone else. I could always gripe over how unlikely it'd be for their remains to fossilize in eight hundred years, if you like.

5791352 Lol. Magic? Idk, you've got me there. I don't actually know how long it takes for bone to petrify like that when not buried in the ground.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!