• Member Since 23rd Aug, 2015
  • offline last seen 54 minutes ago

KorenCZ11


Average brony obsessing over the main cast with an unhealthy desire to see them in a dark fantasy setting.

T
Source

Once upon a time, there lived a Prince who called himself a noble, and he did so with pride. He was at the height of his positions, the top Unicorn in the prestigious Canterlot University, a high ranking officer in the Royal guard, and betrothed to a mare he'd love to spend his life with. For why would he not be proud? After all, he was a descendant of the Equestrian Queen herself, and practically raised by her.

However, rumors and evidence begins to mount around his beloved Queen not quite being the radiant example he believes she is, and the Prince's pride is shaken. How far can one fall, when one sits at the top?

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 25 )

Because careful what you say and do while you're on top... you may have to see those same people when you fall.

Just so I'm clear, Pristine fell to her death alongside Blueblood, correct?

Damn Man. Here our despicable Prince Blueblood is more than his usual despicable self. Racist, prideful, and snotty snob. At least he's hard-working.
And I cry for him. Damn you!

8700593
I think that's right.

8700593
Yes. Previous to writing this, I finished the first half of Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinju which translates to Showa and Genroku Era Lover's Suicide Through Rakugo and I felt that an ending like this would make both Pristine and Blue feel more real.

8700647
:ajsmug: I had the best possible inspiration for this story, so it came out, very, very well.
:pinkiecrazy: I'm glad I hurt you, it's what I set out to do! My other stories are also written to inflict pain, so if you've any interest in them, give 'em a read.

Terribly unfitting.

8701857

If it wasn't for Twilight showing up, the entire story would be 'everyone makes Blueblood look humble'.

Celestia's School of Gifted Unicorns?
Lese majeste with the Princess in the room?
Blueblood being busy with the Guard and keeping the political game going?

Oh yeah. He's totally prideful. /sarcasm

8703179
Ah, so here we go.
1) Semantics say this isn't the same thing since I can't reasonably see Celestia running a school and lording over a country alone, but here the issue is birthright. Only talented and/or powerful unicorns can enter Celestia's class (nearly all of whom have direct or generational blood ties to her.). Blueblood's family has always been part of and invited to this class, and they usually win the prize Celestia gives out to the most promising student, the Morning Star. He is a noble born to a noble from a line of nobles. He's not only expected to be in the class, but he's expected to graduate at the top because that's what his family does. The fact the he's the first and only of his line to fail here is a devastating blow to the high and mighty attitude he's had his entire life. To loose to someone like her, a pony born to Celestia and an Earth Pony, those of which he looks down on, is salt on the wound.

2) Blueblood is denying the truth here. He's drawn some of these conclusions himself already but isn't willing to admit the Queen is anything but perfect. This is idolism at work, unable to face the truth he acts as if it isn't happening. The Queen is everything to him, so if she isn't prefect, then what does that say about him? Somepony who's built his whole life around toting the fact that he's related to her?

3) I didn't add any of the family weight that this should carry into the story itself during this section, but explaining why Blue was part of the guard isn't really important to the story. Based just on what's here though, one could infer that Blue didn't have to 'get in' to the Guard like Pommel did since he was not a commoner, and with his family name alone he could likely be a high ranking knight, skill be damned. However, that's more 'this is how it was in the real world' and not so much explained here, so I'll give you that.

Blue is a white knight, self righteous, and ass, a racist, and somepony who believes station of birth determines the value of a person. These are all traits of the prideful man, for how would one be sinfully proud if he does not look down on others? And at the same time, he has doubts as to whether or not he lives up to his family name, and wonders if the Queen actually cares about him or not because his sense of self worth is fragile. How could she even give a damn about some distant relative so far down in her line that he's barely related to her, as opposed to her own children that rumors suggests she literally puts out on the streets? Pride is a very complicated and multi faceted emotion, and when taken into extremes like this, result in people like Blueblood here.

8703442

1. Semantics matter at that level. If the $RULER$ opened up a school named "$RULER$'s School for Gifted Writers" what would that say about non-writers? Similarly, why would Blueblood care about his ranking in school? If anything, the fact that he does care demonstrates his own lack of inflated self-pride: He's a noble, he could flunk out of school and he'd still be a noble.

2. He's not drawn to anything, he's told to the face that Celestia is a slut. The fact that he believes it is either due to the writer's lack of skill or the character's own lack of confidence, which can be a symptom of a lack of arrogance. "Who cares what YOU think?" It has nothing to do with idolism.

3. I don't see how being part of the (pseudo-)military isn't important to the story. No one double majors, be apart of high society AND is expected to graduate valedictorian from THE top school in the country. The fact that he didn't have to 'get in' is bullshit since he fights Twilight and wins twice.

I honestly don't know why you're using the term white knight when the story literally starts with someone committing an act of lese majeste.

You're right, pride is very complicated. But when taken to the extreme, people don't commit suicide. They commit murder.

8703526
1) I never said it was 'celestia's school,' you did. Celestia teaches a class at Canterlot university that produces powerful unicorns, and as we can see, Twilight is not that before the fight with Blue. He should care because what is his self worth if he doesn't have the skill to back it up? How can you be proud of nothing? He doesn't even value other nobles because he doesn't believe they are worth their salt. If he couldn't provide proof that he is, then he would be and is devastated when he loses that ability.

2) It has everything to do with idolism, this is text book idol worship built upon pride upon a family name to uphold. if he hadn't already considered something might be going on, then what purpose does this line "sure I’ve seen the occasional odd stallion in the castle" serve? He's proud of his station, not blind or an idiot. drawing a conclusion is not the same as being drawn to something.

3) It isn't, that's just not what the story focuses on. For the second part, you must've never been close to a wealthy family. I don't know where you got double Majoring from, but having a job going to school and being expected to have a social life isn't very uncommon at all. That aside, Twilight was nothing previous to this encounter. "She's not been able to produce so much as a candle flame before" this encounter. How and why did she improve so quickly? He doesn't understand that she may have had latent talent brought to the fore front because he never believed a common blood pony like her capable of doing any of that.

Speaking your opinion freely is a right, not an act of treason. Pride shattered results in a broken man. The envious man is the one who takes lives from others.

8703557

1. Wrong name. My bad. Doesn't change the fact that she teaches there.

2. You just asked

How can you be proud of nothing?

So which is it? Should he be proud of being a noble or not?

3. A job? HA! I thought we were talking about a noble, not a peasant.

Look up lese majeste.

8704611
1) K

2) Your idea of what a noble is is very clearly different than mine. In this case, Blueblood believes that his bloodline and his family's track record is what earns him the title of noble. If he doesn't uphold the tradition, he's not worth the title.

3) Again here, different ideas of the word. If a noble is unskilled, he leaves the option to be usurped by his lowers, and as such, nobles are trained to be skilled. His whole family has been trained to be more skilled than their peers as the story mentions, so he is expected to be just as skilled as they were. i.e. working in the royal guard to be better than everyone else, winning the morning star. The difference between a noble and a commoner is that commoners don't get the opportunity to try if they aren't already skilled.

Once again, you're making the assumption that criticizing the Queen is a treasonous act here.

8704666

2. Then that should be in the story, not the comments.

3. Again, that should be in the story, not the comments.

And you're making the assumption that it isn't. Where in the story is that stated?

8704849
2 & 3) It is in the story, it's just not spelled out directly. Part of good story telling is being able to say things without spelling them out for everyone, or subtext. His family has always won the morning star, that is the tradition he is to uphold, if he isn't good enough to do it then he's not worthy of the family name. He beats himself up so much in the fourth part because he failed to uphold the tradition, the pride he's founded on his lineage is broken because he's not worthy of the tradition himself, as I've said a few times now.

If that were an act of treason, don't you think that "just because you don't like what they say" is a little out of place here? if we followed the logic that speaking poorly of the queen is treason, then Pristine's reaction is wholly inappropriate.

8704990

2 & 3. Its a double suicide story set in a cartoon friendship universe. Don't justify your story with 'read between the lines'. This isn't Game of Thrones.

Pristine's reaction to what? Telling Blueblood not to get her, a nouveau riche who married into the nobility, into trouble? Yeah. Totally inappropriate. /sarcasm

8705452
2 & 3) I believe the first tag on the story says AU on it, so it may very well be GoT with ponies as far as that goes. A tragic drama? Most definitely fit for 'friendship ponies universe' if I do say so myself. The story was written with intent for readers to read between the lines, and if you didn't, then you've missed a part of it.

As was stated, Pristine is already a noble herself, she devoted herself to Blueblood because she loves him and wants the best for him. You can be sarcastic all you want, but all I'm getting here is that you missed the castle for the trees, so to speak.

Really enjoyed this. He's built up just enough to fail. Kind of wish there was a story of redemption that followed, but good story none-the-less.

8740558
:raritywink: Hard to redeem yourself if you're dead~

8741085
Maybe Pristine broke his fall? That would be extra tragic. This is a rare Blueblood story where he actually cares strongly about things, and works hard from the beginning. He could have made something of himself. Just not what he wanted to be.

8741675
:pinkiecrazy: To be quite honest with you, she went with him. This story is a tragedy after all. It's certainly not the first one I've written, but I was quite proud of it since you really do wish there could have been more, but... that's just not how things like this go. To have all your efforts thwarted, and by someone you hate no less, on top of realizing that the things you refused to believe about your idol are true... These are the kind of things that break a man, and not everybody has the will to go on after being broken like that.

8741903
To be honest, despite being adults Blueblood and even Pristine strike me as sheltered and impressionable, and they could have grown with experience, like the youthful mistakes they make here. Alas, the curse of the short story is a quick end. Kudos anyway.

8741988
:ajsmug:Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it enough to want more of it. Now, I'll go ahead and try to sell you my running story, Sometimes they call me Super, as it does a lot of this through different characters and over several hundred thousand words if you wanted something at least in the general vein that this is . Fair warning though, it is and gets a hell of a lot darker than this story does, and it's been written over a year and a half now.

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