I'm just a pegasister who loves to write. I have lots of ideas and thoughts about different things concerning our wonderfully wonderful ponies.
Luna's never understood this "Prince Blueblood" since the day she met him after returning to Equestria from the moon. She knows they aren't blood related, so how in Equestria did he come to be named a prince? One night, Luna has had enough of him and demands that Celestia explain why she keeps him around. Luna wasn't expecting Celestia's response.
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You made me cry for Blueblood. *starts clapping*
I accept this as head canon, I expect more related to this story.
Though tired and going to bed, you have my approval.
Glen Gorewood
7603788 I did put the Sad and Tragedy tags for a reason.
7603910 I'm glad you enjoyed it, thanks for the favorite
7603934 LET MY FEELINGS GO, YA BASTARD!
Like everyone else, that's good ideas for Blueblood's origin story. Not headcannon for me but it was good nonetheless. I liked the fact that you used Luna as the one who seek the truth because it happened when she was on the moon. Moreover, I enjoyed the fact that the family and Celestia are friends, that they respect each others and they seem to have a long backstory, which I am curious about (maybe a prequel?
)
However, I would say that each part could be longer. The fact that the story aimed to be about a tragedy imply that we connect with the protagonists. But, for me, I wasn't in full empathy with them because I think some parts deserve to be more detailed in order to really see in which state of mind they are, so that we can relate better.
It's still upvoted because it was good. Waiting for your next one.
I wish you had given more details of th fates of the thieves. In the canon time line pony on pony violence seems to be very rare, so how the legal system would handle them is a bit of a mystery.
A simple trial and hanging would be too straight forward. Perhaps they grace Celestia's garden?
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I like it, but the ending seemed a bit rushed. You should've shown that initial conversation between Blueblood and Celestia about his family, and shown him start to change. Maybe a staff member screwed up something in front of him and instead of freaking out he calmed down and walked away. Next time he heard a loud noise like something breaking and asked if whoever broke it was alright. All these events leading up to helping a maid pick up the laundry that she dropped, or the pieces of China that she broke.
*Bows* very well done. and it gives a very logical reason for how Blueblood acts.
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I have considered fleshing out some parts, but I wanted to be careful to not pull away from the main focus on the story. Perhaps I'll do a re-write of it? Sort of like how artists will re-draw a piece after so much time, maybe I'll do that some time in the future. Still, I'm glad you enjoyed reading it
7606206
This is absolutely true, better have a story which lacks a bit of details than one wich lost itself in details. And you did it good.
Let us know when it will be done (if it is), I would be curious to see it.
One last thing that came to my mind, it is that, even if the show has already shown us who the characters are and what their personnalities are, we (as talented authors
) need to add some details to it, deviating from the original or not.
Moreover, Blueblood is a character we have seen in only one episode. And let's be honest, his only purpose is to break the cliché of the charming prince. And you have decided that the story won't be from his point of view, which, I think, make the whole thing harder to detail.
Well done! I loved this story a lot!
7611371 Thanks
I really appreciate the feedback.
While this story gave me much enjoyment, I must agree with some of the others. The story was a bit rushed and while it did have wonderful attention to detail, it was also underdetailed, if that makes any sense.
You took a little-known, practically background character and gave him a life story that explains his behavior in the canon show. Well done, my friend!
The major problem I have with it, though, is the length. You intended it to be a short story, yes? I believe, however, that this would make a marvelous novella. You have created so many characters - the criminals, Blueblood's brothers and sisters, etc - and I would love to see more detail and depth put into them. The plot could be expanded, character emotions could be more fully explored. It's such a dramatic story, so full of action. If you decide to rewrite it, you will have my full support.
7652687 Thanks
I don't know how much I'll expand on the other characters, as I do want to keep the focus on Blueblood, but if/when I do a rewrite I likely will put more focus on his family members and fleshing them out as characters.