• Member Since 10th Aug, 2017
  • offline last seen Yesterday

itssopanda


I write a lot of dying horses

T

No one told Lily that when a fairytale opportunity arrives, it is probably too good to be true. Now she is just a sinking ship, nothing more. This is what happens when a prince and a florist meet.

Cover by Itssopanda

Editing and revising by Thornquill, AShadowofCygnus, and Obabscribbler

Thank you to all of you once again!

TW: mentions of abuse

Featured: 4/18/20
<3

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 25 )

This is a pretty well-done first story. I hope you write more in the future.

10187807
Yeah, I mean... Good god. Horror generally doesn't do it for me, I mean I'm hard to scare. But this... this gives me quivers as it's just real enough to send a chill down your spine. It's very... very real actually. A person in power getting away with shit like this, and never standing trial? It reminds you of something, doesn't it?

10187820
No specific cases come to mind, actually.

10187823
I wasn't talking about the type of abuse shown here, to be specific.

If you think an additional tag for grimdark/dark would work, you should enter it into this; https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/893755/the-halloween-in-april-horror-contest

Anyways, this was hard stuff to shallow :/ (in a good way). Also liked the ending
Which I thought might of cut off with Lily’s death and leaving it open ended on if the letter reached Celestia. Which would normally what I liked, but in this case, having some justice with Lily’s story at least being told to someone felt right. Along with the small possibility that Blueblood might receive some punishment someday did just enough for me. That said... a part of me is wondering if the story would or wouldn’t of worked better if there may of been a little more... something. Maybe if Celestia wrote down Lily’s story to one day when the time would be right to share it and this was what we had just read? I don’t know. Great as is, 9/10, but even for something short and tragic, it feels like it’s missing something to make it a 10/10.

Very well done. I'm surprised that it's a first story. Part of me hopes that there will be another part to this. Great job.

oh my stars, this was really good!

While it is not necessarily my cup of tea in terms of genre I will say that this is incredibly well written so props up!

You defiantly got the heart-wrenching emotion down in this story, and I usually don’t read dark stories. Even so nice work it is exceptionally well written—build up couldn’t be better.

Gut-curling. Extremely well done.

This was a good, but, hard read for me. Like, damn. It got emotional for me towards the end, damn.:fluttercry: I'm just glad THIS isn't canon!

Also, picked up just a couple errors.

"she wanted to protect the filly with her lift, sadly she did not get the chance."
'life'

"Rose and Daisy were helping elsewhere in Equestria, workin on a wedding."
'working' Unless that was intentional in which case that's fine.:twilightsmile:

Well done Panda. This story was quite heartbreaking, poor Lily, she thought Prince Blueblood was a kind gentlecolt only to realize that he's nothing more than a cruel bastard that really needs to be locked up. This was a pretty good first attempt at fanfiction writing hope to see more stories from you in the future.

This story was very well done, Panda.

As we didn't need more evidence that blueblod is a jerk, great story, if only the letter was written earlier, or if our resident princess of nightmares would've caught all this in time...
For all those who will say Luna wouldn't have done anything, let's not forget she knows way to well how is to live in the shadow of somone more important than yourself and that she still has the stigma of being a monster even if not so present it still is there

This is your first fanfiction ever? I don't believe that, this is too gut-wrenching too heartbreaking to be a first. :fluttercry::raritycry::applecry: :twilightangry2:

Seriously though, great work consider yourself followed I look forward to seeing what you come up with next.

Your sure this is your first time writing?

The level of calm shown here is that of somepony who was trying to drown herself on the get go. Having almost drowned in the past, my experience can be summed up as frantically flailing while the sound of bubbles filled my hearing and all my thoughts replaced with “I have my hand still sticking out of the surface, someone please, please, please notice”. It’s like she went through the five stages of death in less than a minute.

I understand that drowning is not pretty and does not lend itself well to quiet introspections and reminiscing, but this could have been accomplished by having the narration happen as she was bound and gagged on a boat on the way to being drowned or something similar.

Very nicely done! How tragic and horrifying. You've got a real knack for storytelling! Keep it up!

sgffoewhufi.
aifhewgwigwiugwi.
fqwiugowghiegiwguwhgw.
Take my upvote.

Woah. I don't know what to say, other than it was mesmerisingly beautiful and deep in a haunting way. The writing is flawless, and the story itself was quite creative in a praiseworthy manner. I really liked the fact that you portrayed a subject like abuse realistically and respectfully. Can't wait to read more of your amazing stories! :twilightsmile:

Wow, what a beautifully crafted, tastefully done tragedy<3 I have often preached that a story’s best friend is simplicity and this story proves the power in simplicity. Especially, in a well executed simple story<3 Now this is how you make a first story/first impression on Fimfiction^^ Well done 👏

Wow. That was much darker than I was expecting. Beautifully written, though.

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