Twilight didn’t know what to expect as she made the long walk through the hallway. Her friend Fluttershy on her right, having been requested as well. She was adamant about it, considering her worry for his wellbeing. The long hallway only served to exacerbate the anxiety coursing through Twilight. How would he react to another alicorn? She hoped he wouldn’t immediately go nirik the moment he saw them. As they walked, his nurse tried to prepare them.
“Be careful with your movements, he seems to think we may hit him. Especially when he assumes to be in trouble.”
Fluttershy gasped, “O-Oh my. That’s awful.”
However, Twilight was lost in thought completely, and the words went in one ear and out the other. Lovelight glanced at them, and continued with a sigh, “He calls himself 'Zero', but he says that isn’t his name."
Aha! He even had an alias. Twilight started to wonder what hiding his identity could possibly elude to, as she processed the information thoroughly. He was trying to hide his past, or maybe, he had no past and was trying to trick them all? A false sense of security perhaps. She scoffed mentally, she wouldn’t fall for such a dumb trick.
Lovelight stopped in front of his room, becoming slightly quieter, “I’ll be right out here. Remember, you are here to encourage questions out of him, not interrogate." Lovelight sighed, seemingly unhappy with the situation, "I still think this is a bad idea. Please, if you figure anything out, inform me.”
Twilight walked forward without a glance at her, “Yeah, yeah, of course.” Fluttershy timidly walked in behind her, giving a short smile to the nurse pony.
The last thing that Twilight’s hypothesis covered was the possibility that he’d be absolutely mortified upon seeing her. The moment they locked eyes, and he scanned the both of them, his face nearly went a full shade lighter. He almost seemed to be holding in his lunch as well, just barely.
Surprisingly, Fluttershy was the first to start the conversation, “H-Hello there, little kirin. My name is Fluttershy.”
The colt only continued to stare in complete disbelief and awe at the two mares. Fluttershy gestured for Twilight to introduce herself, and she stepped forward while clearing her throat. “I know you must be absolutely surprised to see another alicorn, correct? We don't intend to hurt you, of course, however we won't tolerate any aggression. Does that sound good?”
The blank and still bewildered face on the foal made Twilight want to just cast a mind-reading spell to skip the questioning, her eagerness was high, but she had standards, and sadly mind reading was forbidden. For good reason. She walked over to a stool, pulling it close to the colt’s bed. As she sat on it, she brought a whole notebook and pencil out. “So let’s get started right into my first question-”
“There’s more of you?” The colt finally squeaked out.
There’s no way.
I had to have died or…
Maybe I was still passed out? Maybe I was just laying on the ground with stars swirling over my head?
I was joking when I wondered if I was in some kind of pony society. I didn’t actually want to be in one! And one of them has wings, the other has a horn and also wings! The shy one called herself Fluttershy, but the horned one only pulled a stool up and sat uncomfortably close.
“There’s more of you?” I asked in bewilderment.
They both blinked owlishly, then met each other’s gazes. When the purple one turned to look at me, after asking that she released a short laugh, “Ah yes! As I said, it must be jarring meeting another alicorn.” She cleared her throat and shuffled the papers like she was about to test me, “Anyways, as I was saying-- You are indeed an alicorn, correct? This isn't some sort of disguise, or happenstance of your race?” She leaned in even closer.
I averted my gaze and backed off, “I-I- What? What’s an alicorn?”
“Interesting,” she huffed with unnerving amounts of enthusiasm as she scribbled in her notebook. "And you can't be a changeling, I would've noticed immediately," she mumbled to herself, trailing off.
I wanted to know what was going on, so slowly I raised my hoof, “C-Can I ask a q-”
“So, are you a full alicorn? How does it work as a kirin? Are their powers the same as a regular alicorn, or does it just mean you’re the most powerful kirin.” She leaned in even further, reaching out and touching my wings. "These are much like dragon wings."
“Twilight…” The shy one muttered.
I recoiled away, “I- Can you not touch me? And please tell me where I am?”
“A hospital, obviously.” Twilight said without glancing at me, “next question. Who are your parents? Were you born an alicorn or did you earn your wings? Since most kirin are born with horns, I'm just assuming you were born with your wings."
“Twilight,” Fluttershy said with a slightly more stern voice.
I was completely blindsided by all these questions. Did I have to answer? Would I get in trouble if I stayed quiet? I didn’t want to make them angry, but I didn’t know the answer! “U-Um, Miss…”
Twilight’s eyes narrowed, and she tilted her head, “And how old are you exactly? If you were born an alicorn, you could even be older than me while looking that young.”
I stuttered nervously, trying to get my answer out ahead of her next question, "I'm nine, or maybe eight-- I think? I never kept up."
"Oh!" Twilight scribbled furiously, "Could you possible give me any specifics about when you were born? Date, time, and location?"
My ears naturally flattened against my head, and I looked between her and her notebook. Her curious expression caused a shudder to enter my body, "I-I don't-"
“Twilight!” Fluttershy said her name with enough anger to make her stop gazing at me abruptly.
“Huh, yes?” Twilight turned to meet her friend’s gaze, which was a look I never wanted to be on the receiving end of.
Fluttershy growled non threateningly, and flew up into her face, “This is not how you speak to someone who just went through a traumatic experience! Look at him, he’s terrified, you made the poor dear cry!”
Wait, cry? I lifted my hoof to my eyes, and sure enough, a steady stream of tears were falling. Twilight looked at me with apprehension, and seemed to shrink in her seat. Why was I crying? It came out so suddenly, I didn't even register it.
Fluttershy wasn’t done scolding yet. “And you didn’t even tell him your name, or ask for his name! How unprofessional. Honestly, you should be ashamed, princess or not!”
Wait, princess? I was dead, this was my end. This purple pony was a princess! My panic boiled over, I suddenly found myself bowing my head and planting my muzzle in the bed. I couldn't help my limbs or my voice from shaking, “I’m so s-sorry for my hesitance, Princess! I’ll answer your questions, just please don’t punish me. I had no idea who you were!”
The Princess looked down at me with horror, but Fluttershy seemed to get even angrier with her friend. Staring deep into her soul until she was practically sweating from the pressure. Finally, Twilight spoke, “No, no! It’s alright, my title of princess is only a formality. My name is Twilight. Please, you don’t have to bow your head for me. We were the ones who saved you from the fire last night.”
I hesitantly drew upward, and surprisingly, it didn’t seem to be a test, and I didn’t get in any trouble. Suddenly the door opened, and Nurse Lovelight walked in, “I heard shouting, is everything alright?” She scrutinized my two visitors with an intense glare.
“Just a slight misunderstanding, ma’am,” Twilight replied.
Fluttershy nodded, “It won’t happen again,” she glared at Twilight, “I promise.”
Lovelight nodded slowly before noticing my tears. Her eyes narrowed, and she approached me on the other side of the bed. “Are they upsetting you, sweetie?” She whispered the question into my ear gently, placed a hoof on my back, and rubbed it in circles, which did calm me a little.
I shook my head no, “It was a misunderstanding, they weren’t lying. I just got a bit scared.”
Lovelight sighed, fixing the two mares with a glare. “Would you be more comfortable with me here in the room anyway?” I don’t know why, but I found myself nodding yes without a second thought. Lovelight smiled, and walked over to a corner to observe our conversation for herself.
Fluttershy smiled at me, “I’ve got a better idea. How about, every time you ask us a question, we get to ask one in return. Okay?”
I slowly nodded my head, my ears still firmly pressed against it. I had no control over that function, it seems, or my emotions. I used to be much better at controlling them, because if I didn't I'd get in trouble. “Okay… So where am I? Where is this hospital?”
Twilight cleared her throat again, and though she seemed upset, she continued with confidence, “Well for starters, my name is Twilight Sparkle. You are in Ponyville General Hospital, in the small town of Ponyville. We are also near a city called Canterlot.”
I nodded. “Uhm, could you go a bit bigger?”
She tilted her head but continued, “Not that far away from that is Cloudsdale, and the Crystal Kingdom is about a day’s trip away.”
“Bigger, please.” I asked.
She widened her eyes, “You are in Equestria; does that ring a bell?”
I gave her a blank expression and hummed. Inwardly, I was screaming internally, ‘No this makes no sense. None of those places exist!’ I had to be in some sort of alternate universe or parallel world. Had I been banished from my old one? How did this happen? I needed to figure out a way to go back.
“Okay, your turn.” I said abruptly.
They all gave each other looks, but decided to go with it for now, “Where were you born?” Twilight immediately followed up.
“In a town called Strathemoore-- at least, that’s what I’ve been told, I... don't really remember my time there." I replied nervously.
Fluttershy hummed, “I’ve never heard of it. Would you happen to know where it is?”
I only shook my head at their question. It’s not like I wanted to return to my birth town anyway, it didn’t exist anymore. “Alright, my turn,” I started, “what’s an alicorn? And for that matter, what's a kirin?”
They all looked at me in awe, and Twilight blurted out; “You really don’t even know what an alicorn or kirin is?”
I shook my head, and she seemed to write it down, then she smiled back up at me, “An alicorn is a pony -- or, I guess, a kirin now -- that has both a horn, and a set of wings. As well as that, they usually have earth pony magic. Unless you're a changeling, but they're pretty distinctive.”
She hummed again, "And a kirin, is much like us ponies. But we honestly don't know too much about the origins of the kirin themselves. Only that you have draconic ancestors, which is why you have those scales on your body."
So magic existed in this world too? I just didn’t know how to use it yet. And apparently mine was super strong, like back home! And I had draconic blood in me? If I'm supposedly that powerful, that means I could potentially find a way to get back to my own world. “Your turn,” I said, still mulling over my thoughts.
Fluttershy cleared her throat this time, “Do you have any caregivers, somebody that might be searching for you?”
I could feel the tension in the room increase with that question. Not from me, but from the others. I nonchalantly shrugged my shoulders, "I don’t think so. He will be upset, but Master is far too lazy to look for me," I looked up, and all their mouths were agape with mild horror, "Did I say something wrong?" I felt my ears fall against my head again.
Lovelight came over, “Of course, you haven’t done anything wrong, honey. Could you maybe tell us more about this… ‘Master’ of yours?”
Wait, did I?
Oh… oops.
That wasn’t supposed to slip. I just had to play it off now; I didn’t want them to know I had a master, or they might send me back to him. The punishment I’d get if they found out would be immense! “Oh! Did I say master? That’s his alias, like how I call myself Zero. He’s just a… friend I left behind!”
Please work, please work…
I could see there was doubt, but Lovelight gave them both some sort of look, and we moved on from that topic, thankfully.
However, Fluttershy was persistent, I’d give her that. “What about your parents?”
I felt myself drowning under the pressure, “I-I uh…” I didn’t know why answering was so hard for me, I knew the truth.
Before I even had time to reply, Lovelight wrapped a hoof around me, and started wiping tears from my eyes. I had started crying again, apparently-- curse these dumb emotions. “You don’t have to reply if it upsets you,” she whispered soothingly into my ear.
After a minute of controlling my emotions, I sighed, “I guess it’s my turn. I caused that fire yesterday, right?”
Fluttershy and Twilight looked at each other worriedly, and I could see it in their eyes. I lowered my head, “How bad was it,” I asked simply.
“Was it the first time you went nirik?” Twilight questioned me back.
“How bad was it?” I reiterated again, this time a bit more assertively.
Twilight sighed, “The fire spread quite widely, it was about the same size as Ponyville maybe. Everything in it was turned to ash. But it has been dealt with, and you aren't in any trouble.”
I had no frame of reference for what Ponyville’s size is. But when someone says you started a fire so big it could’ve burned down a town by itself…
I felt a shiver go down my spine, and I slowly hugged myself with my hooves as I shook. Lovelight tried to put a hoof around me again, but I snapped a bit, “Don’t touch me please.” She looked saddened, but she retracted her hoof respectfully. I liked Lovelight, she seemed to respect my boundaries. I knew she was just trying to be nice but she really shouldn't--not to me,‘It's just her job anyway, don't let your guard down,’ I thought bitterly, 'I promise, you don’t want to help me anyway,'
My breath came out shaky, “Was anyone hurt?”
Fluttershy shook her head, “Not that we know of.”
Twilight sighed, “The fire was so intense and hot, it was quite the spectacle. We wouldn’t have even known if you had incinerated someone-” I felt myself freezing up at that.
“Ahem,” Lovelight interrupted angrily, “Princess Twilight!” She said her name more as a warning then anything else.
Twilight quickly corrected herself, “But you were in the everfree! Barely anypony-”
“Ahem!”
“-Nopony ever goes there!” Twilight corrected herself again loudly, “And nopony is missing, so I can assure you there were no injuries!” She put on a wide, goofy smile afterwards.
I sat in silence, the mare across from me becoming uncomfortable. “Your turn,” I said coldly, refusing to make eye contact.
“What caused you to go nirik? And was it your first time?” Twilight asked carefully.
“Yes. These wolves made of plants and trees-”
Fluttershy gasped, “Timberwolves!? Oh my gosh!”
“-they bit my leg and dragged me out of hiding. I’m not sure what happened, but I got incredibly angry and sad, then everything became engulfed in flames. I had to jump into the water to stop myself from burning anything else,” I said.
“But why would you jump into the water?” Twilight began. "For a kirin isn't that-"
Lovelight seemed upset as she interrupted Twilight. “Okay, I think visiting hours are ending quite soon, so, if you wouldn’t mind?” She gestured for the door.
Twilight’s eyes widened in genuine panic, “Is it night already? Where has the day gone?”
I sighed, and looked up at Lovelight. She looked down at me with a worried yet comforting look. “Miss Lovelight, it’s okay. You don’t have to kick them out because of me.”
She leaned down and did something I didn’t understand either. She rubbed her muzzle against the side of mine, ever so gently.
For some reason, it made me feel warm and safe, like everything would be okay. Yet it was so brief and fleeting that I almost wished she’d done it again. “You need rest,” she began gently, “you’ve already done so well today. I’m very proud of you.”
My heart fluttered, and ached at the same time. Why, why was she saying that? I hadn’t done anything worthy of praise, and yet she believed it wholeheartedly. She smiled at me yet again, then continued to lead them out of my room. I was lost in thought, my hoof resting in the spot she’d just nuzzled. It was so comforting, and made me feel a sense of safety I’d never felt before. It felt like there were a thousand words behind that one action alone.
And I wanted more of it.
That was a silly thought, though. I lowered my hoof again, more tears falling from my eyes. I had burned down a whole forest, who would ever want to be near someone like that?
“Zero? Are you okay?” All my feelings washed away as soon as I heard that name again-- a reminder I couldn’t forget. That no matter how much I pretended, it was still me in the end.
A reminder that I didn’t deserve anything.
“Yes. I think I’ll rest,” I replied emotionlessly, my eyes duller than an onyx.
“Okay, dear, just press the red button next to your bed when you need me, okay?” She showed it to me.
I gave the most subtle nod. She seemed to be leaning down to console me, but I turned my back to her, and pulled the covers over myself clumsily.
‘Zero,’ I thought bitterly.
Of course.
'You’ll always be Zero.'
Once the group was far enough from the room, the two visiting mares could practically feel the anger flowing off of Lovelight. And they winced when her words finally came out, “Forgive me, Princess. But what in tartarus was that?”
Twilight’s ears lowered to her head, and she avoided looking up, "I'm sorry-"
"Sorry doesn't cut it!" Lovelight sharply cut her off, causing the two mares to flinch. "I mean, really? 'It was so hot we wouldn't know if you incinerated anybody' -- Are you serious?" A short growl escaped Lovelight's voice at that.
Twilight stared at the ground as they walked, “I don’t know. I guess I just got so caught up with him being the first alicorn kirin. I forgot to slow down and think about how he would feel. I'm awful with foals...”
“He's not just a regular foal,” Lovelight barked, “he's a traumatized, possibly abused foal. If it were up to me, I’d see to it that you never meet with the colt again. But since you’re a princess-”
“I understand, Nurse Lovelight. Being a princess doesn't excuse my actions,” Twilight said solemnly, “and I’ll think over my words much more carefully next time. I’ll even read some books on traumatized and abused foals. Would that help?”
Lovelight sighed, “It would,” she muttered as they got to a private room, “but your interrogation wasn’t in vain.” In the quiet conference room was Redheart, waiting for them so they could discuss the foal.
She looked up from her paper, “Oh? Find anything else out?”
Fluttershy spoke for the first time, “Oh, yes. We know where he’s from, and what he got hurt by, his age.”
Lovelight continued for her, “We know that something is going on with his parents that makes him very upset, I can’t imagine they are very good things, either. And also this ‘Master’ he spoke of,” she said, seething with anger. “I feel he wasn’t telling the truth about them being his friend, I think he let something slip and is trying to hide it.”
Redheart looked appalled by the news, and cleared her throat, “Maybe he thinks we’ll send him back if he tells us?” She offered.
That was a solemn note for the entire group. And Twilight awkwardly started, “And while it doesn’t relate directly to his mental state, we did find out something important about his alicornhood.”
“What’s that?” Fluttershy asked.
“Well, by the way he was describing it, he’d never gone nirik before. And you also said that he didn’t know how to use his horn, or his hoof magic?”
Lovelight nodded, wondering what she meant by all this. “It’s just my personal theory, but I think when he got attacked by the timberwolves he had his magic awakening.”
They all looked at her in disbelief, Redheart hummed with uncertainty, “He’s young, yes, but having his magic awaken this late? And don't alicorns always have their awakenings very early? Am I mistaken?”
Twilight countered, “Well, if he really was abused, they could’ve kept him from awakening it. In a bunch of truly awful ways, but it sadly can be done.” The expressions in the room told her all she needed to know about her theory. “Plus, fire that strong and uncontrolled? I’ve seen Flurry Heart’s magic surges, they are very powerful and she barely has to try. Similar to how his fire instantly became out of his control. When Flurry Heart first awakened her magic, it was a disaster."
Lovelight tapped her hoof against her cheek, “So you’re saying, he accidentally found his magic, while also happening to fall into nirik form as a defense mechanism?”
Fluttershy hid behind her hooves, wondering, “Wouldn’t his magic manifest when he was being… abused by whoever? Because they would've made him sad and angry too?"
Redheart shook her head and locked eyes with her, “Abuse victims very often trust their abusers until the bitter end, and unreasonably so at that. I wouldn’t be surprised if Zero thought of himself as more of the problem than his own abusers. So personally, I think Twilight’s theory holds up.”
Lovelight shifted uncomfortably between hooves, as she looked downward, “And there is also that name,” she started with a sigh, “I called him Zero not long ago, it was like his entire personality shifted. He wanted nothing to do with me, when minutes earlier he was letting me nuzzle him.” She finished sadly.
Redheart hummed, “A nickname, perhaps given to him by his abusers?” She looked between the three of them curiously, “What is one of the first things you associate with the word zero?”
Fluttershy hummed, “Numbers?”
Twilight huffed, “Formulas.” She got a few odd looks for that.
Lovelight had a few tears streaming down her cheek already, “Nothing,” she said sadly. Fluttershy and Twilight’s eyes widened, and their ears fell.
"Exactly," Redheart said with a grimace, "It might be a nickname, meaning that he is ‘nothing’ to them -- something that nopony wants. Abusers often do this, because it gives them a lot more control over the victim. But that’s all just speculation."
"The good thing," Redheart started again, "Is that he is letting any affection reach him."
Lovelight smiled, "He's probably touch-starved. It's common for foals with only one abuser to still reciprocate affection, even if they flinch sometimes."
"And on another good note," Twilight interjected, "Since that fire last night was his magic awakening, it means that from here on out, his magic surges will be severely less powerful."
The room was quiet for a long minute, everybody thinking about what they’d talked about. Finally, Twilight sighed, “I should get going for now. And get a letter to Princess Celestia.”
The two nurses nodded, and Redheart stepped forward. “Remember our agreement, both of you. Everything said in this room stays in this room. Am I clear?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Fluttershy squeaked.
“Yes,” Twilight started, “I remember.”
Lovelight was still upset with them from before, “And remember, the only reason you’re a part of this, is because you can contact Celestia so directly about our findings. If information got out that there was a new alicorn, who is also a kirin? The world would turn upside down.”
“Also,” Twilight began with a smug grin, “I’m the only one here who can suppress an alicorn’s magic. Honestly, I think I should apply for honorary firefighter status now.”
They rolled their eyes lightheartedly, and a small amount of much needed laughter was shared by the group. Twilight and Fluttershy left the building, leaving only Lovelight and Redheart together.
Lovelight sighed and tried to keep her sadness at bay, “What do you suggest I do, Redheart?”
Redheart smirked, and bumped her flank against her friend’s, “Kill ‘em with kindness! There’s a reason I signed you up to be his personal nurse, Miss Loveydovey~”
Lovelight stuck her hoof over Redheart’s muzzle, stopping her teasing, “Oh really? I thought you were just too lazy to do it yourself!”
After removing her hoof, Redheart chuckled, heading for the door, closely followed by her friend. Redheart sighed sheepishly after a few moments, cutting through the silence. “And, you’re not wrong about that.”
Lovelight burst into laughter.