//------------------------------// // Chapter 8: Respite. // Story: The Endeavor of the Damned Shadows // by dannny43 //------------------------------// I can see nothing but wide-open and fertile space for miles and miles all around. The last time I was riding in one of the chariots, I could barely find my footing to properly examine the landscape around, but without the company of the two biggest horses in Equestria by my side, I had all the room to fixate myself properly to survey the land below. So. Much. Open. Space. All fertile and green and healthy, it's a farmer's wet dream all around. Just looking at the past 150 acres alone I could see humans settling hundreds, hell thousands easily. And the beauty, Jesus, the beauty of those rolling greens hills and those fresh, blue, lazy streams that criss-cross all over, yeah, thousands easily. The kicker to all of this? It's all real. Genuine. The real deal. Non-fiction... back then, I didn't truly appreciate just how beautiful the landscape was, me thinking it was a dream and all, but once again, this world is unparalleled in its magical splendor. Readjusting in my seat, I allow my... forearms? Forelegs? ...I allow my front limbs to dangle off the side of the chariot, enough so to lean my face far enough to feel the rushing wind ruffle my hair and... fuzzy features. Face it Austin, you're a fucking walking, talking, magical carpet now, it's fur you've got plastered on your ass, your face, your everywhere. Turning my attention back to the wind coursing against me, I couldn't help but realize an opportunity has been provided by the unique circumstances that I inhabit, one I decide to embrace while I could alone. When in Rome. Opening my maw, I let my lengthy tongue loll free with the wind, whipping and flapping and bounding against my face's side. It doesn't take long until a surprising rush of adrenalin crosses my face. I may not be the correct species, but I certainly understand why dogs do this now, feels like I'm speeding against the wind under my own power. Must be what it's like for the pegasi. Closest I'm gonna get to being an actual pegasus in my condition. I cannot begin to describe the sheer amount of jealousy I hold for the pegasi, and the amount of anger I have cooking in me because of my boneless wings. What human in all of human history hasn't envisioned the ability to fly free like all the birds across the world? Not encased in a metal cocoon, or anchored to a floating surface or bound by gravity, or weight, or the laws of physics and whatever, but to fly under your own power, like Superman. Free to soar across the sky without limits, or earthly concerns, god, what a dream. A dream that I should be able to act on at this very moment, in this magical world, with these magical royal wings... that I can't, fucking, USE! My heavyweight already restricts me from skydiving, indoor or out, and even if I lost weight, the prices alone would keep me away, but now that I'm a magical, rich, royal pony, I of course, still can't fucking fly! Fuck this shit! ... *SIgh* The last, more or less hour has left me in my own unique hell, but soon enough, my sight-seeing ventures would be cut short as our entourage entered the village limits of Ponyville. I held a momentary fear that our coach would descend into the town square or onto the doorsteps of that eyesore they called a castle, but seeing as how I was playing a game of discretion, my sentries were competent enough to land within a little tree cove just out of sight, bordering on the edge of what looked like the Everfree Forest. Once the coach finally settled, I unlatched the side door and ever so carefully descended off the stepping ramp. I may have gotten a hang of walking all quadrupedal-like, but walking up or down staircases or steps is pretty much a death sentence in itself. Turning towards the front, I can see both sentries standing in what looks like the human equivalent of military parade rest, waiting for me to address them. "*Ahem*, Thank you for the ride, Sentries. I suppose we shall reconvene at this spot within the next... hmm, it took about an hour to get here so... four hours? Yes, we meet back here in four hours. You... are free to go about? Seeing as how I doubt I'll be needing an escort in a place like this." In a place like Ponyville, the only town in all of Equestria that seems to be subject to all kinds of trouble and shit. I mean what could possibly go wrong? Coming back here almost feels like a mistake. "Of course sir," Feather Flight replied, "The Element Bearers should be able to assist you with finding the family, we shall remain here." With that finished, I fastened my cloak tight, checked and secured my meds, and began to tro-... walk my way towards the lovey-dovey pretty pony town, but not before bumping my head against something rocky and solid. Recovering from my newly acquainted headache, I look upon my culprit to find a statue of Nightmare Moon, captured in a villainous pose. What the? ...hmm, that's, ...that's from, ... the Nightmare Night episode. If this stature is an accurate depiction, then Moon doesn't look nearly as demonic as the show's. I guess this serves as a good marker for me to remember. With that thought, I turn back towards Ponyville. During these moments, I failed to feel or notice the tiny dark spark that flickered and sizzled away on my horn tip upon contact with the statue. Ponyville. A dainty little town that plays host to six special pony heroes. A little town that I'm sure would leave all those people who were fanatic about the show frothing at the mouth if they were here right now. What were they called again... oh, right, bronies. Blegh, weirdos and creeps right next to the furries. To this day, I don't know if it was a lack of dignity or a ... somewhat, kinda-but-not-really, admirable pair of steel balls that enables all those people to attend public outings like BronyCon or whatever in all their pony get up. I wouldn't be caught dead being even ten miles from those people or places. I'd also call them fat batshit insane sweaty neckbeards or worse, but there are two things wrong with that statement. One, I'd pretty much be the pot, and they'd be the kettle, and two, who the hell am I to give them shit when I'm fucking stuck in the goddamn show itself. They have a legit reason to be fanatics now that all this BS is real. I'd feel sorry for these ponies if even a quarter of them acted anything like Ethan, and that's being optimistic. Getting off that tangent, if you've seen the show then you know damn well what the town looks like, except this time, it seems that they managed to repair the damages from earlier. As the clip-clops of my hooves reverberate on the cobblestone bridge, sounding off my official entry into Ponyville proper, I can't help but notice the atmosphere of tranquility that choked the very air. Multiple groups of kids skedaddle here and there playing tag or hopping on them outdoor arcade machines or rushing to and fro in a game of hoofball, while parents and friends conversed off to the side. Any eyes that I made contact with happily exchanged greetings as I brought myself closer to the town square, leading me to pass through the shopping center where ponies were haggling and purchasing regularly. The town sure does seem to be much more populated with ponies I don't recall from the show, another deviation from the cartoon. The further I creep into the town, the more I feel... like something is at the very edge of my senses. Like a faint tingling of energy that seems to somehow resonate within me, bringing tiny stabbing pains all over myself, as if being pricked by thorns or insects. I don't know how or for what reason or why I'm now feeling it when I didn't feel a thing back here my first time, just another fucking thing on my list of fucked up shit I have to deal with. Whatever. Continuing on, I soon enough find myself next to one of the numerous restaurants that dot the inner layer of Ponyville, with this one being labeled Café Hay. Thinking nothing of it, I turn away to continue further, but before I can even take a step, my stomach decides to pull the cliché stomach rumbling gurgle, signaling to me as if I didn't already know I was hungry...in which I failed to realize that I indeed, was hungry. The hell, I just ate like, a whole lotta apples and soup and stuff back in Canterlot not even three hours ago. My stomach seems to disagree with my assessment as it voices its opinion once more, leaving me little choice but to make a quick pit stop. Turning myself back to Café Hay, the assortment of giant mushroom tables and stacks of hay acting as seats isn't something I would consider to be exactly sanitary nor comfortable, but it would appear my sentiment isn't exactly reciprocated as many ponies can be seen dining without a problem. Situating myself on one of the outdoor tables, I take a quick look at the menu left there, only I find very little that appeases me. But even if anything looked good, I still lacked the funds to purchase any of these things. Except, maybe with the royal tab thingy, maybe that can cover it, hmm. "Bonsoir Monsieur, welcome to Café Hay. My name ez Savoir Fare, I shall be your server zis fine evening, may I take your order?" asked the French-looking waiter. "Oh, uh, well um, uh, hmm," scrutinizing the menu this way and that, I struggle to pick just one item, "...I'll take the... uh, oh! Before I decide, does your establishment accept the um... royal tab, perchance?" The waiter's confused look leads me to believe otherwise. "I, er, know not of zis 'royal tab' you speak of monsieur. May I intrude as to why?" "Oh, no reason. Regardless, it doesn't matter, I can't order anything because I don't have the coin to do so." "No bitc- er, *ahem*, excusez-moi, I mean, no bits?" I can't help but cock one brow after hearing that slip. "...uh, yeah, no bits." "Hmm-" The waiter's gaze shifted to the sky in deep thought, twiddling one end of his little mustache while doing so "-are you by any chance new to Ponyville, monsieur?" "Uh... ye-yeah? Yeah, I just got here today." My answer seemed to satisfy the waiter as a warm smile settled on his mou-, er, muzzle. "Zen bon appétit monsieur. Anyzing you choose is on ze house, courtesy of our little town." Woah, wow. Sure wasn't expecting that. "Wow, um, thanks! If I could leave a generous tip, I would. Next time for sure. Ok, I'll get the... HBLT, with a glass of water, please." "Excellent choice, monsieur. I will be back at once, oh, and welcome to Ponyville." Taking the menu into his hoof, the waiter departs for my meal. With nothing else further to occupy myself with, I steal a glance at the nearby inhabited tables and occupied streets; watching the ponies in their natural habitat, conversing and interacting with each other, doing their daily rounds, enjoying another sunny day in peaceful pony land. Spectating the others, I scribble as many mental notes as possible on the expressions and actions of the other ponies to compare and better emulate myself to for later. Any changes I can make to better paint myself as one of them, I'm willing to take, for as long as I stay here. I may look like a duck and quack like a duck, but I need to work on acting like a duck too. As I sit on my seat, listening to the sounds of the other ponies haggling and chatting, feeling the soft rustling of the wind against my skin, and just enjoying the general ambiance all around, I close my eyes to the equestrian world. Except for the occasional pony-oriented nouns, and the lack of any automobile sounds, I can almost imagine myself back on earth, sitting outside my favorite coffee shop and just enjoying the activity of others. "-crops must be providing a good harvest this season huh Carrot Top?" "-have any Calendula in stock? My little Pip has come down with quite the fever today." "-know when the next storm is schedul-" "-why do we have a store that sells only quills and sof-" "-lieve that? No male alicorns they say. My flank! We all sa-" "Bellhop? Bellhop is that you?" "-going to wear for Nightmar-" "-omatoe soup is amazing!" "-cough up over 150 bits to cover the dam-" "-ever wonder why we're here?" "It is you, Bellhop! Fancy meeting you here!" "-ommy, can we get some popsicles?" "I don't like sand. It's course and rou-" "-eport to the ship as soon as possible. We'll bang, ok?" "Bellhop? Hello?" "-there's no need to fear! The CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS ARE HERE!" *CRASH!* "My cabbages!" *Poke*, *Poke*, "Bellhop? Beeeelllllhoooop." Opening my eyes, I find myself almost face to face with a turquoise lady that I don't recognize. She opens her mouth to speak more, before taking a more examining look at my face. "Oh! Heh! I'm sorry sir, you looked a lot like my good friend back in Manehatten. Wowie! You bear a striking resemblance to him, except for the eyes and the horn, and boy are you a tall one, how did I mistake you for him? Heh-heh! Silly little me. Are you by any chance related to a Luggage Cart? Goes by the nickname 'Bellhop', from Manehatten?" "Sorry miss, can't say that I am." "Well shoot. Maybe you're lost brothers? Anywho, if you're ever in Manehatten and happen to come across Fashion Week Plaza, ask for him or me, Miss Silky String, I'm the administrator of the building. Oop, gotta run now, being 'fashionably late' is not something you want to do to a contractor. Toodles!" With that, she races off, leaving me a little stumped as to what exactly transpired. Just as she makes her departure, my waiter arrives, tray in han-, tray in hoof. He settles the food and water onto the table before taking his leave. The HBLT looks like any regular BLT, hell the, ...eugh... 'bacon' almost looks like its meaty counterpart, but I still ain't risking it over fake bacon. Taking the sandwich into my hands, yes my hands, not hooves but hands, (I'm not in denial still, I swear.), I carefully extract the strips, before digging in. Ya know how they diagnosed me with a severe case of hypoarcania? Well, I've come to find out that the ability of holding things in your hooves, is not a result of magic, but of biological evolution. I shit you not, they said it was something similar to how we have electricity in the brain synapses, a natural field of electromagnetism or some shit. I don't understand the 'science' at all, but being in impossible pony land, if they say it's not magic, then who the fuck am I to doubt it? Finishing up my meal, I give one final thanks to the server before immersing myself once more in the crowd. By now, I had noticed quite a number of familiar faces from the show; those two 'special' little boys, that strawberry gal, that pegasus dude and his little bro, there's the three flower drama queens, *Bonk!* there's Lazy-Eye doing a good impression of a bug on a windshield, and I think I see Granny Smith over by th-, wait a second... am... am I hearing... a Stuka sire- holy shit! Duck and cover! *WOOSH*... fucking hell! There goes Skittles, damn near splattering me across the floor. If she had managed to hit me with that speed and force, well I'd guess you could say I'd be tasting the rainbow, and let me tell you, it would have tasted like fuzzy carpet and iron. "Woah there friend! You alright?" Picking myself off the ground, I turn towards the voice to find... a completely random pony. To be expected really, not like I was gonna run into one of the girls right off the bat, that'd be too convenient... Anyway, I make a quick check to my cloak, hoping it's still on properly, before addressing the guy before me, "Yeah, yeah I'm good. That was waaayyy too close for comfort. Was she aiming for me or what?" "Ha! Nah, she didn't mean anything of it. Rainbow just sometimes lets the adrenalin get to her head. I believe all of Ponyville has a scratch or two from her. Her pegasus magic cushions the impact so nothing worse than a bruise so far. Shame about the cloak, you got some dirt right there. Better hope Rarity doesn't find out or you'll be in for it, haha!" Just like that, the guy walks off to do more shopping, not realizing how close to turning into a red dirt stain I was, pegasus cushioning be damned. As I find myself casually strolling through this lively town, I can't help but naturally think about how surreal my situation has been from the beginning. Almost a hundred years ago in another dimension, the bloodiest war in human history ravaged the globe, while here, these ponies were living their carefree lives, unaware of the bloodshed occurring just next door. Who knows how many neighboring dimensions exist right now that are facing unimaginable horrors, wars, or death. ... No. Don't think about it. Disregard it, I'm here for the family, focus on that. Taking a step back to survey the area, I find myself at the tower that stands at the very center of the village. The Mayor's Office? Town Hall? Something like that. I didn't manage to obtain any other information other than the names and address of the family, but with Ponyville being a small town, it should be no problem to ask someone for directions... ok no, that's a lie. I gotta admit, when we flew over Ponyville last time, everything seemed small and compact, but being on the ground now, it's way bigger than one could have expected from the show. Midway through my survey, I managed to identify the carousel clothes shop that is home to Rarity, giving me a prime choice to acquire some assistance. Entering through the front entrance, one crisp *Ching!* signals to Rarity of potential capital to be made. No sooner had the bell rung than I could hear the clip-clops of hooves in motion followed by Rarity's signature greeting, "Welcome, welcome, to Carousel Boutique! Where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique! How may I help yo- oh my goodness! Darling whatever did you do to your cloak!? It is just absolutely filthy! No, no, no, this will not do! Come, come, I believe I may have the perfect mystique red shade of cloak that could compliment your- oh! Lone Star? My, my, my, I was not expecting to be reacquainted so soon, darling!" she finished her heartfelt greeting with a hug, one that I was a little surprised to receive. "This is a surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one. Are you not supposed to be back in Canterlot with the princesses? Twilight did say she would be extending her stay to conduct some vital research, doesn't she need you?" Ah, good ol' generous Rarity. She may be all glim and glamour, but she also got a heart of gold. If I remember correctly, I made a list of the mane six in order of my most to least favorite back when I was nine. Rarity, I believe, was number one. "It's... good to see you again Rarity. I've been given permission to come back and I don't want to interrupt Twilight and her research, so I decided on coming here because of some... closure needed. I was hoping you could help me with something." Rarity releases me from the hug before responding back, "Well by all means, how can I help you today?" Double-checking to see if there are any eavesdroppers, I unload my little dilemma, "You remember Ethan a week or two back right? The golden alicorn? Blazing Starstriker? Came into town and got all crazy on ya and almost did a terrible deed, right?" Rarity answered my question with a hard scowl, occasional flashes of disgust crossing her face. "No need to prod me further darling, I do recall his most foul deeds that day." "Right. Well, Ethan will be getting his due justice in time, rest assured. What I am here for today is to relay the news and pay recompense to the victim and her family in person... er, pony. I may not have committed the crime, but I did nothing to stop it from happening regardless of the circumstances, and it is my responsibility to own it up to them. That being said, I am not well versed in the layout of Ponyville, so I was wondering if you could perhaps escort me to their residence if you are available." "Oh my, well how could I ever refuse to assist in such a noble endeavor, darling? My storefront seems to be lacking much traffic for today, so I see little reason not to close up early. Just give me one moment to tidy up, I'll meet you at the entrance." With that declared, Rarity turned around and went about doing as she said, leaving me to make my exit. Moseying on down one of the dirt roads, Rarity couldn't help but strike up a conversation. "Well, Mr. Star, I simply must ask. You have spent the better half of a month residing within the luxurious halls of the Canterlot Castle, the literal crown jewel of all of Equestria. The cream of the crop. How do your experiences there reflect on your view of Equestria after coming from the pinnacle of culture, art, and class that ponies have to offer? I am most interested in your opinions on the matter considering your quite literal alien nature." The complex-sounding nature of the question threw me for a little loop, leaving me to stumble a bit as we wove through the mid-day traffic. "Uh, well for starters, I cannot deny the all-around beauty not only adorning Canterlot but across all of Equestria itself. Earth of course also beholds such values, but it has been declining due to, well, certain aspects of human nature among other things." I finished just as a rushing kid forced me to sidestep, less he and I get tangled from my cloak and each other. "It also cannot go without saying that the wealth that makes up the castle itself is something unparalleled from anything back home for sure. In fact, I think the castle alone would be worth more than the combined GDP of a hundred of earth's poorest countries." Within my peripheral, I could barely make out the satisfied smile settled on her face, a smile that fell following my next words, "My experiences, however, have not left the best taste on my tongue." Rarity's inner drama-queen reared its head with the exaggerated shock plastered on her face. "Oh no! Why, whatever do you mean by? Surely Canterlot would have provided only the best in all matters, no?" "Eh-" *Shrug*, "-I'm not sure I'm at liberty to discuss the details, or that you would enjoy my recounting of what happened, so I say we shouldn't discuss it further. It's probably for the best." "If that is what you wish darling." Rarity's mask adorned a brief look of disappointment before fading away. She and I continued to make small talk as we progressed closer to the family residence. Before long, Rarity makes note of our current location. "Oh! I didn't realize we were already passing by Sugar Cube Corner. Perhaps you would like to stop by for a quick snack?" I can't help but release a quick snort, "Sorry, but If Pinkie sees me, no doubt she'll get into a frenzy about planning my surprise party. I'm afraid I won't have the time. Serious medical matters take priority. Got an appointment within the next three-ish hours. Besides, I've already eaten." Look, no offense to PP, but with or without my already tight schedule, I don't want to waste my time at essentially a little kid's party. I mean, can't y'all recall the numerous parties she held? Balloons, party hats, punch, streamers, pin the tail on the donkey? Maybe it's different in this world than the cartoon, but still, I'm not interested. I still suffer from PTCD, (Post Traumatic Cringe Disorder) from the time my parents, bless their hearts, hosted a surprise birthday at Chuck-E Cheese when I was eleven, I do not want to go through that ringer again, nor do I wanna sample the many sugar-laced delectables that would be present. "Oh? Well, it can't be helped I suppose. Poor Pinkie may be a little crestfallen to the news, but it's nothing that can't be helped by a cupcake or two." Rarity finished before sweeping her gaze across the street. "Hmm, where oh where is it now, if I read the address correctly, their residence should be right around... aha! There it is. 1302 Garden Road. Home of Bronze Picket, Scarlet Blush, and... well, you know... *ahem* Anyways, that house right there-" Rarity proceeds to point towards one of the more exotic houses with quite the extravagant flower bed. "-is your destination." Rarity finished just as we both arrived at the front of the house. We both hold a minute of silence observing the quaint household before Rarity pipes up, "I feel it goes without saying that my presence for what's coming would be unnecessary, so I believe this is where we part ways for now. Perhaps once you're done, we and the girls can meet up at Twilight's Castle and catch up over some tea? If you have the time, of course." "Mmm, perhaps another time, Rarity. Thanks for the escort, but before you go, can you do me a favor? If you see Applejack, can you let her know I'll be stopping by the farm once I'm done here? There's... someone I want to check out there, and maybe I can help out for just a little." "I'll be sure to let her know. Good day...Austin... and good luck." With that, she turned away and left me to my own predicament. Walking up to the door, I couldn't help but imagine a strong sense of foreboding. Knocking on the door, I brace myself for the worst. Having an affiliate to your daughter's offender come knocking on your doorstep, may be a good time to blow off some building steam on someone who remotely deserves it. Waiting for a response, I dig out the paper that holds the relevant info I need, reciting the names a few more times for good measure. A few moments later, the door opens up, bringing me face to face with a gloomy tear-stained face, "... He- *heh-hmm* Hello there, g-good evening, is this the-" My eyes take one last dip onto the paper, "-Picket and Blush estate?" Looking back up from the paper, I can't help but crumble a little at the stern gaze leveled my way by who I assume to be Mr. Picket as he had seemingly faded into being by his wife's side. The big, burly, earth stallion looks like he's capable of crushing my skull with one hoof alone. "It is... who's asking?" *Gulp*, "My, um, my name's Lone Star... I come on behalf of my... of Blazing Starstriker... to apologize in person for what he did to your dau-" "We're not taking visitors at the moment." Picket decreed before slamming the door in my face. But, before he could close the door fully, I managed to jam my hoof at the very edge, "Ow! Sir, I am very sorry for what transpired that day. I know my cou-, er, my...confidant? And I are the last two peo- er, ponies you may want to see at the moment, but I am here to give you both closure and bring justice for what he did." "I said, we aren't. Taking. Visitors." Picket growled. "Honey, wait. M-Maybe we should hear him out." Mrs. Blush inputted. "I got nothing to say to this stallion, Scarlet. And there ain't nothing I want to hear right now. This whole thing with you and 'royal boy' is out of our hooves now." "Actually, Mr. Picket, it's in your hooves, or at least it could be if that's what you want. On behalf of the Princesses, I've come to confer and reach an agreement for the just punishment of Blazing Starstriker." "Well that doesn't make sense, shouldn't the judicial branch already have the verdict sealed by now? Crime ain't exactly a common thing in Equestria, boy, so what's the holdup and why is this being left to us?" Taking a second or two to survey the area around me for any nosy ponies, I discreetly peel back my cloak far enough to reveal the edges of my wing, not enough to freak them out with the boils and rotting meat, but enough to plaster surprise on their faces, "This whole situation is a... unique and complicated case for Equestria, but none the less I've come to settle the matter by enforcing your demands for my guilty cousin, enough so to leave you satisfied. Is... is Wallflower here?" Mr. Picket hesitated for just the briefest of moments, sharing a reluctant look with his wife. "...Don't think she's too keen on visitors at the moment...neither are we for that matter." "Right, that's understandable, but perhaps it may be best for her to be present. Of course, you being the parents, the decision is yours to make." Mr. Picket heaved a heavy breath before turning to his wife, gesturing inside, "See if she's up. Ask if she wishes to join us." As Mrs. Blush retreated back into the house, attention shifted back to me. "Quite frankly mister, I mean, yer highness, I am at an impasse of what should be done. Never in my whole life or my wife's or heck, nearly all of Equestria for that matter I reckon, have ever gotten on the wrong hoof with the law for much of anything. We can appreciate your good-natured gesture and we can accept your apology, but we are not qualified nor willing to dish out any sentence for your cousin and his actions. We simply wish to move on from this ordeal and learn from it." Both Mrs. Blush and Wallflower herself, both having joined shortly after Mr. Picket began talking, nodded in agreement with his statement. "As much as I may wish to express my...disdain for your cousin solely, he is not the only guilty party." That was news to me. Who else could be guilty if Ethan was the sole perpetrator? The confused look my face held did not escape Mr. Picket as he gestured to Wallflower, bewildering me further, prompting him to explain, "Wallflower here should not have been anywhere near the mess that happened that day. She has two research papers and a test that are coming up in the next week that she should have been finishing up on and studying for, but for whatever reason, she went against our wishes and decided to join in on the chaos." "N-Nopony ever knows I'm around. I thought I wouldn't be noticed." Wallflower Blush meekly commented. "Yeah? Well, you shouldn't have been there to begin with! The whole point of visiting us for the weekend was to get away from any distractions and strictly focus on your homework. We told you not to go, but you didn't listen, Blush!" Mr. Picket took a moment to calm himself before continuing, "But, that's all over with. Blush learned her lesson in the worst way possible, your cousin is in the dungeons, nothing terrible or permanent occurred, and we leave the punishment to your hooves. Nothing further needs to be discussed." "I, but, um, are you sure? Whatever you deem fit for punishment, I will whole-heartedly endorse to the princesses." "Thank you, Lone Star, but I leave it up to you. Now please, leave us be." Mr. Picket finished, before shutting the door. Well, that was concluded faster than I thought it would. Don't worry you three, I already have the perfect verdict in mind. After asking that British pony fascinated with all the clocks, Turner was it? Anyway, after asking him for the time, I find myself with more or less three hours to spare before I'm due to depart. Plenty of time for what I have in mind. Following along the dirt path to the southwest, more and more apple trees begin to filter into view, marking my arrival on the outskirts of Sweet Apple Acres. Just a quick trip to Ol' Apple Acres, befriend and help Mac, then hasta luego. Guy could use more friends, only got Spike and maybe Discord counts too, but c'mon, the dude deserves some appreciation and recognition, the fact that he's my favorite is beside the point. Fields of mighty apple trees of all kinds as far and vast as the eye can see flank both my sides, leaving me to wonder just how two ponies alone have the time, energy, and management skills to harvest every single one of them. Earth pony magic helps I guess. My thoughts on the orchards are suddenly disrupted as the sharp *Thrack!* of a hoof on wood sound off from one of the rows of trees, shortly followed by the *Plop*-*Plop*-*Plop* of apples. The source soon enough leisurely walks into my view, little straw in mouth and iconic horse collar to boot. And there he is, the only pony, or should I say horse, I've been looking forward to meeting, and hot damn is he one big fucker, well, big for a pony I suppose. Not as big as the princesses or quite matching my own height, but he ain't nothing to scoff at. . He's also followed by one scaly tag along, whom I appear to have caught mid-sentence. "-ink, right? I mean, it's not like, you know... lame right?" "Nnope." *Thrack!*... *Plop*-*Plop*-*Plop*. "Yeah, I thought so too. I mean c'mon! It's Ogres and Oubliettes! Your imagination is everything in this game! You'd think a bunch of kids would like something like that, but like I said, they think it's lame. *Sigh* Well, my part of the list has been a bust so far, any luck with yours?" "Nnope." *Thrack!*... *Plop*-*Plop*-*Plop*. "Really? No Time Turner? Derpy?" "Nnope." *Thrack!*... *Plop*-*Plop*-*Plop*. "Caramel?" "Nnope." *Thrack!*... *Plop*-*Plop*-*Plop*. "Dang, I thought he for sure would like to play. Ah well, guess it'll just be us two for the next session, what with Discord doing... whatever it is the princesses are doing right now." "Eeyup." *Thrack!*... *Plop*-*Plop*-*Plop*. "Sure would be nice to have one more player." "Eeyup." *Thrack!*... *Plop*-*Plop*-*Plop*. "Can't be helped I guess." "Eeyup." *Thrack!*... *Plop*-*Plop*-*Plop*. Deciding that now was a good time to introduce myself, I knock-knock-knock on the wooden post to grab their attention. "Howdy there. Couldn't help overhearing something that caught my ear. Y'all be talkin' 'bout dungeo- I, er, mean Ogres and Oubliettes? I've heard of the game before but never got around to playing it. By the sound of it, y'all be looking for another player?" Hope laying on a thicker accent isn't too much. Both Big Mac and Spike stare at me, before turning towards each other, then go right back to staring at me again, before finally sharing a smile together. "Yeah! Yeah, we are! We've been trying to find another player since our third had to leave... for reasons. Haven't had luck so far... but maybe you could change that!" "Eeyup!" "Well, you fellas may just be in luck. I'm not too familiar with the game, but I've wanted to try it out for a while now." "Great!" Spiked jumped along with his exclamation, "Our next session won't be until next week. But maybe you need a refresher course? We can do one right now in the barn! Should only take a second!" "Eennope." Big Mac's response caused Spike to halt in his stead with an added tire scratch sound-effect to it. "What? Why not?" "..." *Thrack!*... *Plop*-*Plop*-*Plop*. "Oh. Right." Spike's crestfallen look quickly drained any excitement he and Big Mac held moments prior. "*Sigh* Sorry, but Big Mac is still finishing this field's harvest and I promised to help out. Guess we'll have to do it another time." *Thrack!*... *Plop*-*Plop*-*Plop*. "Hmm, I don't suppose there isn't some way I can help y'all out, is there? Maybe if I lend a ha-, lend a hoof, we could finish up right quick, then maybe y'all can take a break for thirty minutes? I unfortunately, have a tight schedule and I would like to get a refresher on the basics if I'm gonna join ya for next week." *Thrack!*... *Plop*-*Plop*-*Plop*. "I don't... well... you think that'd be okay with Applejack?" Spike asked, turning to his big red friend. *Thrack!*... *Plop*-*Plop*-*Plop*. "Mmm... eeyup." *Thrack!*... *Plop*-*Plop*-*Plop*. "Yes! C'mon! The barns got all the extra baskets. We just need to set them up for Mac and haul in the ones already full into the freezer and we'll be done. With the three of us, it shouldn't take too long." I managed to get around the fence and join Spike as we make our way towards the Apple's barn. "Oh! I almost forgot,-" Spike stops and turns around to me, extended claw forward, "-names Spike. And in case you didn't quite catch it, that big fella's name is Big Mac." I can't help but stare at his claw. His claw-like hand. His handy claw. His pinchy claw in all its pinchable perfection. The opportunity is too good. It's just right there. One awkward request and everything could be done and over with forever. It's still a possibility. Maybe, just maybe. Should I?... Extending my own limb, we conclude the formal han-, er, claw...hoof ... fuck it, we conclude the formal handshake. Does he know about my whole alicorn thing? Guess I'll find out in a sec. "Lone Star. Pleasure to meet you, Spike. Quite the pleasure to finally meeting you, Big Mac." "Eeyup?" "Eeyup. Couldn't help but like what I heard and read in that Friendship Journal, you sounded like the kind of pony that others can rely and trust on. Sounded like a good friend to have." Spike held a puzzled look, "Friendship Journal? What Journal?" "Uh, well the one in circulation of course. Twilights Journal? Full of her friendship lessons?" "Huh?" Spike replied, scratching his chin in confusion, "She published her Journal?" ...Wait, am I too early to be talking about this? "Uh-" I fumble with my words before turning to Mac, "-wasn't your house full of tourists sometime in the recent years, Big Mac?" "Mm, no." Ah crap! "...Oh! Uh, my bad. I meant tabloid. I liked what I heard and read from a published tabloid on the bearers and... stuff... a-anyway, I learned quite a bit about you and... yeah, thought I'd just... swing by, get to know the back-bone and workhorse of Sweet Apple Acres and meet the often overlooked steward of Equestria's newest princess is all. Look, what I'm trying to say is that I ... would like to be your friend, both of your friends. If you'll have me." This has got to work. I'm in magic pony land where friendship is their religion, going up to a random stranger and asking to be their friend has like, a default 95% of success. This ain't X-COM so I should be good. As if asked if the sky was blue, Spike's response was naturally, "Of course, we would! The more, the merrier. Isn't that right Big Mac?" "Eeyup!" "Besides, with the amount of girls around here, we guys could really use a boost in numbers. Now c'mon! The sooner we finish this, the better." Spike scrambled for the barn once more, keen on getting things in motion, but he's stopped by me just before charging into the barn. "Now hold on just a sec, Spike. I got a... small ... teeny tiny wee little favor to ask of ya if you'll indulge me." "Sure. What is it?" Ok, Austin, just ask him. Nothing to lose, all to gain. "... Can you pinch me?" "Pinch you? Like just anywhere? Uh, ok. I'll just do it right here." Spike reached his claw to my front leg, gripping the furry meat before applying press- "Eeyow! Damn dude! Your claws are fricken sharp! I said pinch, not sca-..." Rubbing at the tender spot of Spike's choosing, I realize that my whole body felt out of whack. My pudgy grey nose was missing from my sight, replaced by a little stumpy snub. Taking a second to examine it, I fetch one of my hooves to further prod it for answers... which proves to be the greatest thing I had ever done in my life of all time, because at the end of my limb, existed my hand. ~My hand... my hand? My human primate hand. Fingers and thumb, all the fun, combined into one dexterous leathery strand. My hand. My hand! My goddamn beautiful hand!... I'm back. I'm back? I'm back in the waking land!~ Austin burst from his bed in a dash of delight, opening his window to a bright and beautiful sight. He saw the fluttering of the birds and the bees, and gas-guzzling cars driving through the trees. Neighbors and friends exchanging howdy-dos, and a noisy freight train chugging with its choo-choos. Humans and little Whos here and there, and not one goddamn girly pony insight anywhere. 'It's over', Austin thought to himself. He'd finally been freed. One pinch from Spike, did all he need. Descending down into his living room, Austin greeted his family who appeared to be fresh and bloom. "Great joyous day, Ol' family of mine! I have escaped the curse from the wretched equine!" Instead of being showered with glee and cheer, his family's stern gaze brought a kick to his rear. "Now dear boy, I told you many a time, it's a sin to tell a lie. That statement you made boisterous for all to hear, was just plain false, you cannot deny." "Linger in this daydream, you no longer can. Return to your new friends, you must." Replied Grand Master Yoda. "Listen to the green gremlin, your delusion is already falling apart. This is not the end, for your story has only passed the start." "Begone with you, so that we can end this stupid rhyme! Or I swear to God, I'll haunt you to the end of time!" Just as quickly as this wacky world came to be, it crumbled in a flash, leaving nothing. Neither dirt nor debris. "... Star? Star?" *Snap*-*Snap*-*Snap* "Lone Star?" The snapping of talons brought me back to reality. "Sorry about that man. Zoned out for a sec." "I'll bet. You had one big dopey grin on you. Even drooled a little. You ready to finish the chore up?" "Yeah, yeah I'm good. Let's get it over with." That dream... that dream was nice. Of course, a little too wacky to be true, but for a minute there, felt like I was finally home. One can only hope.