Unpleasant Correspondence

by StormLuna

The Show Stoppers

Dear Princess Celestia,

I'm thinking you better be on the lookout because Applejack has given the cutie mark cult a new place to make their plans in overthrowing you and your sister. To be honest, maybe I should hope they manage to succeed because overthrowing them would be easy then I could run this country. Let's be honest, I would do a far better job than you two ever could.

Now there is something I don't get, Apple Bloom did a spectacular job on fixing up that run down dump Applejack gave them yet she didn't get a cutie mark in carpentry. Either she is simply good at that but it isn't her destiny or you put a cutie mark blocking spell on her to troll her. Knowing you, it was probably the latter because my guess is you love watching those three make complete idiots out of themselves.

After getting their new little shed fixed up, those three proved to me that they must be just as dumb, if not dumber, than their sisters. They tried every idiotic activity they could think of to try and get a cutie mark and what pisses me off is that Spike let them in the library while I was at the spa and allowed them to tear the place apart. Now I am going to punish them for breaking into my home and you need to punish them for damaging government property because I did discover a hole in the wall.

Eventually the girls decided to quit breaking the law when the hot schoolteacher gave them an idea about performing in the school talent show. Now this ought to be interesting, I'm sure whatever they do will wind up in them making fools of themselves and helping this town realize how truly stupid they are.

One good thing was that while they were preparing for this event, they left me alone. The bad thing, I tried seducing Cheerilee but I think she was intimidated by my desire to initiate her when she went running out of my underground torture chamber. Don't worry though, I'll get her down there sometime and perhaps if you're lucky, I'll invite you after I break her in.

Regarding the talent show, it was rather boring until those three decided to try and sing a song about how desperate they are for their cutie marks. One thing is for certain, Scootaloo can forget about a future career as a rock star, she sounded hideous! Now how in the hell they managed to win an award is beyond me but I'll tell you one thing, had I been the judge for that thing, none of those idiot foals would have won anything. None of them did anything even remotely impressive.

I am honestly thinking of sending those girls up to you so you can maybe teach them what getting a cutie mark is really about since their relatives think it is soooo cute how they are constantly screwing things up and causing trouble.

Your Mildly Irritated Student,

Twilight Sparkle

---

To My Mildly Irritated Student,

For starters, let me make myself clear. If you even attempt to do anything to overthrow me, you won't have to worry about having to put up with those acquaintances anymore. If you do, the moon will have a new permanent resident and I'll find somepony else to curse upon those five.

Thanks for the warning regarding the cutie mark cult and I'm going to admit, you know me way too well. You see, the day those three created that secret society of theirs, I cast a spell from afar on not just Apple Bloom, but all three of them that will make it harder than hell for them to get their cutie marks. I may pretend to be concerned that they could overthrow me but I'm not worried. I simply like watching them behave like morons, they provide me with so many laughs and I know they'll tickle my funny bone for years to come.

You seriously think I'm going to punish them for going into the library though? Look, it is your fault they got in. While you were busy screwing the spa twins, those three bribed Spike with a gem and he let them in. Oh and regarding that hole in the wall, unless you can prove it was them, I'll just blame you and to spite you, I'll tell Twinkleshine about the spa twins and she'll never want a bootie-call with you again.

I honestly don't get why the hell you bothered going to that talent show to start with. Things like that are boring as hell and I'm certain that there were plenty of other things you could have done, such as finding a way to quit bitching about every little thing.

Your Supreme Overlord,

Princess Celestia

P.S. Don't count on seducing Cheerilee. I've tried on many occasions but she shot me down because horned ponies scare her. Little bitch anyway, she should know that we have what it takes to make her orgasms all the more pleasurable.

Comments

[Ri2]

If they can't seduce her, why don't they just drag her into the torture chamber and force her? Probably wouldn't be the first time either of them's done that.

[StormLuna]

8896837

If this were "Celestia's Views" it would have already happened. I'm not going to have anypony forcing others into non-consensual sex here.

[Ri2]

8897057
Why not?

[StormLuna]

8897074

Just like it is with the non-con sexual activities, I'm keeping things like that limited to "Celestia's Views."

[Dashie04]

The bad thing, I tried seducing Cheerilee but I think she was intimidated by my desire to initiate her when she went running out of my underground torture chamber.

Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad... I’m hot for teacher.