Unpleasant Correspondence

by StormLuna

To Change a Changeling

Dear Princess Celestia,

Well Trixie and I had fun, tons of fun here lately. You see, while Twilight was up visiting you and aiding you in torturing undesirables, Trixie and I decided to take a little trip. We decided to go down and visit Thorax since apparently there is one changeling that has yet to transform. We didn't get there in nearly the amount of time that we anticipated because I intentionally decided to teleport us to multiple cities in this fair country and with each one, I told Trixie I was wore out and we got a hotel room in each city and I'm sure you know what happened there! Sexy times, lots and lots of sexy times!

Once we finally got down to the hive a week after leaving, we met this changeling that had yet to transform. I really don't get what the big deal was with him not transforming. He is simply a misunderstood changeling who held onto the past and personally I don't blame him. Thorax has made that hive full of weaklings. Get this, they had dumb shit like craft time, feelings forums and art time. The art time wasn't bad though because one of them drew some art of the hottest couple in all of Equestria.

Now you see, they had this maulwurf thing that was trying to eat them and the only one with the balls to take it on was Pharynx, the one that refused to transform. Thing is, so many of those changelings thought he was an asshole but he loved the hive and once the others admitted that there was a place for him since he still didn't take shit of any kind from anything, they welcomed him and he transformed.

And of course the trip home took just as long and naturally, we defiled each hotel room we stayed in. Now I'm sure you'll probably be wanting video of us or something but it ain't happening! Trixie and I are not like your students, we don't share our sexy moments, whether they be on video or directly with others.

Trixie's Bestie With Benefits,

Starlight Glimmer

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Dear Starlight,

I don't care about the changeling situation but come on, you really won't share? Now if you weren't my favorite I would force you to share her with me but I'll spare the punishment because I sure the hell don't feel like you stealing my cutie mark.

Wishing You'd Share,

Princess Celestia

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Dear Princess Celestia,

I can not believe you. You needed my help in torturing undesirables? I find it rather funny that you, the one who at one time was upset that I wasn't doing my job, needed me to show you the proper way. Well I am glad that you didn't need me too long because when I got home that junkie was just about to starve to death and she couldn't suffer if she was dead, right? Next time don't keep me away from my victims for so long, alright?

Back to Torturing that Junkie,

Princess Twilight Sparkle

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Dear Twilight,

Look, I was testing you! If you think I actually needed your help you are delusional. I know you're good at your job but please, I don't need your help. Now I am happy I sent you home when I did because you are right, the junkie couldn't suffer if she was dead. Now I would be amused to see what PETA girl's reaction would be if her little friend wound up on her doorstep dead but save that for season nine, alright?

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

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Dear Princess Celestia,

You really should come down to the hive sometime. I could tell you the story of how I used to make Thorax hit himself. I'm sure you'll love it.

Pharynx

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Dear Pharynx,

Tell you what, if there is cake down there I will come. Just make sure it is chocolate with strawberry frosting, preferably with as many calories and as much fat as possible, alright?

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

Comments

[StormLuna]

9173297

Well they're not going to admit that. Besides, Celestia basically raised her but they still blame Cadence for all those years of her "sexy times" with Twilight.