Wonderbolts Academy
Dear Princess Celestia,
Well ADHD girl is once again proving that she must be replaced. Get this, she is more concerned over whether Crash gets accepted into the Wonderbolts Academy than she does. I know that you'll probably never tell me this but I have a feeling that Pinkie really wants to get into Crash's coat. Maybe I'll write Luna sometime and ask her because I can only imagine how lucid Pinkie's dreams are involving her.
After several days of freaking out and checking her mailbox, she conned the rest of us to take Crashie a care package up to the academy and thanks to some arrogant bitch, a tornado nearly caused my acquaintances and I to plunge to our doom, especially PETA girl since she temporarily forgot she had wings. Maybe Cloudchaser needs to "remind her" since she won't let me do what I want with her.
Normally I am not a fan of the Wonderbolts, especially Spitfire but at least she did put Lightning Dust in her place so I guess she isn't the worst pony out there, that title still belongs to you. Given that Fluttershy is still a bit traumatized, maybe I will finally get to initiate her as a friend.
Hoping I get PETA Girl in Bed,
Twilight Sparkle
To My PETA Girl Wanting Student,
You write to me to tell me about Crash getting into the Wonderbolts Academy. Listen Twilight, I don't give a shit, ok? Now I am not thrilled that you took her a care package when you should have brought a cake up to Canterlot, left it with one of my guards, headed home and went to the spa. I find it most unbecoming of you, especially since you do nothing but bitch about Crash and constantly put her down. Hell maybe you don't hate her like you claim to, maybe YOU want to join Pinkie in getting in her coat. If that is the case, I will know for sure that you have zero standards and will screw anything with a pussy.
On and regarding Fluttershy needing Cloudchaser to remind her she has wings, maybe you should join them. Perhaps Fluttershy would feel more comfortable if another pegasus is present. Regardless though, I'm not going to count on you succeeding in initiating PETA Girl.
Upset You Put Crash Ahead of Me,
Princess Celestia
P.S. I am not going to replace Pinkie simply because of her messed up obsession with Crash. Yes it may be a huge liability having her on board but even if I were to replace her, it wouldn't be with who you would want. Deal with it Twily, it is either her or somepony you would hate even more.
Dear Lightning Dust,
You are a reckless bitch who cares about nopony but herself. You have no idea how funny it was to see Spitfire give me your lead pony medallion. Now do the world a favor and piss Princess Celestia off enough she will banish you to Tartarus or preferably the moon.
Hating Your Guts,
Rainbow Dash
Dear Crash,
You honestly think I care what you think? The only reason you got that lead pony medallion is because you probably promised Spitfire a night of fun if she booted me. Screw this shit, I'll prove my superiority someday, without Spitbitch's help.
Hating You More,
Lightning Dust
Dear Cloudchaser,
Thank you for catching me when I was falling to what was my doom. I was wondering if you would want to go out sometime. The least I could do to thank you is take you out to supper.
Hoping You'll Say Yes,
Fluttershy
Fluttershy,
Not just no but hell no! You honestly think I am going to go out with you when you had to have me catch you? You are a pegasus for Celestia's sake, you should have been able to just catch yourself. However, if you are looking for a date, I understand Twilight wants you so ask her.
Sincerely Hoping You'll Leave Me Alone,
Cloudchaser
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I still think LD got the shaft in that episode. But just as a troll as Celestia Hasbro had to cut out LD becoming good again due to screen time.
How do we know Celestia isn't just Hasbro and loves to troll us?
8968848
Think of Celestia as Hasbro's ambassador to Equestria. Think of her as the troll that God-Emperor Goldner appointed for the post.
8968860
Where's a troll gun when you need one?
8968868
Celestia is immune to bullets so it wouldn't work on her.
8968888
It doesn't shoot bullets....
It shoots extremely bitchy Twilights
8968981
When it comes to bitchy Twilys, those may annoy the hell of Celestia and make her equally as much of a bitch but they won't take her down.
Incompetent Spitfire needs to retire immediately.
I hope so, Dusty.
Maybe someday Fluttershy would get a boyfriend, to bad she is not a lesbo.
9671868
We don't know what she is, I've never seen any sexuality assigned to her. I do think she would make a great lesbian and making Rarity one would be hot, very hot....they are both elegant and Rarity being a lesbian would be preferable. Hell, make them all lesbians!