Unpleasant Correspondence

by StormLuna

Special: Colgate's Correspondence with Celestia Part 3

Dear Princess Celestia,

I can not believe what I'm reading here. Not only did you have sex with a stallion but that stallion just happened to be a commoner? To top that off, you were exiting a tavern when he helped you up? You had been drinking when you fell, weren't you? You better hope that none of this ever comes out because if it was to, you're entire reign could come crashing down and your sister would be the one to take over sole leadership of Equestria.

Now there is a way for you to prevent any of that from happening. If you will just let my friends and I execute the plans we have for Fluttershy, these letters will remain between us. Hell I'll even incinerate them with my magic if you let us do what we want BUT if you deny us what we want, I will release these to every paper in Equestria and the whole nation will know things far darker about you than anything Flutterbitch revealed in her letters. Remember, I'm really close to you and I could destroy your reign because ponies would believe my reports, including copies of these letters!

So which is it? Shall I incinerate these things with my magic or shall I make them public? Can my friends and I do what we are planning with Fluttershy or will your reign crash and burn? I can just imagine how your daughter would feel if she had to find out from ME in the papers rather than from you in private that she is your daughter. Hell it might scar her so severely that she'd move back out to that no name village with Trixie and never associate with the outside world again! Now that would truly suck, wouldn't it?

Having Dirt on You,

Dr. M. Colgate, D.D.S.

P.S. Also, along with letting my friends and I do what we want to Fluttershy, I am also demanding tax exempt status like what you gave your daughter with her publishing company. Failure to do so will also result in me releasing these letters and everything else I know about you.

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Dear Colgate,

How could you make threats like this? I have been so good to you, I got you out of being charged with nearly killing Fluttershy, I have treated you and your friends like daughters and now just because I won't let you go and do who knows what to Fluttershy you're threatening to expose me like this? You're threatening to destroy the relationship I have developed with who has yet to find out I'm her mother? You're threatening to ruin any kind of mother/daughter relationship I could have with her?

Look, I know you have always been a bitch to most ponies you run across but what you want to do here is beyond fucked up. You are seriously wanting to sink the one who is probably responsible for you being where you are in life right now? You know without you having gone to my school, chances are you never would have been able to go on to be a hot shot dentist. You'd probably be more like Lyra since she dropped out. You'd probably either be working some low wage job or having hooked up with some slacker that I would deem as an undesirable and thus, be an undesirable yourself.

You have dirt on me and I have dirt on you. If you release this, I will take away your immunity to the charges that would have been pressed against you in the attack on Fluttershy and you'll wind up in prison. So FINE, whatever sadistic plans you four have for Fluttershy, you can go ahead and do it AFTER the series finale, alright. I hate to think of what it is but I have a feeling it is likely something similar to what your human counterpart is doing to human Fluttershy. Tell you what, I'll even make Twilight's parents pay for the wedding!

Let me know what your decision is so I will know if I have to contact the Ponyville PD over this or not, alright?

Keeping You in Check,

Princess Celestia

P.S. Fine, you can have your tax exempt status, alright? Just don't go sharing it with everypony because the last thing I need is for everypony to start demanding it, especially Rarity because I am still not overly fond of her and I have no desire to let her off the hook when it comes to paying her taxes.

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Colgate Part 3:
Celestia.