• Published 14th Apr 2018
  • 4,867 Views, 1,441 Comments

Unpleasant Correspondence - StormLuna



After sending Twilight to Ponyville, Princess Celestia demands letters from her but when Twilight starts to complain, Celestia becomes unhappy and replies to her letters in her own way.

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Pinkie Apple Pie

Dear Princess Celestia,

I must say, I have learned that ADHD girl isn't as incompetent as she may seem. She actually figured out how to read a genealogy scroll and has come to the belief that she is related to Applejack. Seriously, her related to Applejack? I am certain she misread that thing because no way an idiot like her is related to a pony that at least has some worth ethic in her.

What am I not impressed about? After she ran off to tell Applejack that they may be cousins I was excluded from the rest of the episode! Can you believe that, they think that giving the most important character in the show, the best princess, minimal time at most is a good idea. Come on, I am the toy they sell the most so you'd think they'd make me an even bigger part of the show.

I am thinking of writing to Hasbro and demanding that I always be the primary character in every episode.

Your Mostly Excluded Monarch,

Princess Twilight Sparkle


Dear Princess Celestia,

I'm not a hundred percent sure if Pinkie Pie is related to me or not. While it would be nice, that page was mighty smudged. You wouldn't happen to have any genealogy records up there that could help us solve this mystery would you? If you do, could we take a look at it? It would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Applejack


Dear Princess Celestia,

The page may be smudged by in my heart I know it is true that I am Applejack's fourth cousin twice removed.

Happy I'm Related to Applejack,

Pinkie Pie


To My Bitchy, Inferior Monarch

You know what, be glad you got some airtime Twilight. I am almost never seen, at all. How the hell do you think that makes me feel? Yes I am angry but I'm not going to go bitching about it non-stop and I have no plans on writing to Hasbro demanding that I get more air time.

I am surprised though that Pinkie figured out how to read that scroll as genealogy scrolls even prove to be a challenge for me. If I were you I wouldn't worry about whether she is related to them or not, just go to the spa and forget all your troubles.

Your Superior Monarch,

Princess Celestia


Dear Applejack,

Yeah we have genealogy records up here but you'd have to come up, ask me and I would have to lead you in there. Sorry but the chances of me having time to do that are slim. I will either be busy eating cake or having to put up with one of Twilight's bitching rants.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia


Dear Pinkie Pie,

What you feel in your heart is meaningless. If everything we thought was true in our hearts actually was true, Twilight would be nothing more than an overgrown bug that we could kill with an oversized fly swatter.

To be honest, don't count on ever finding out if you two are related.

Not Caring if You're Related to Applejack,

Princess Celestia

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