Unpleasant Correspondence

by StormLuna

Twilight Time

To Princess Celestia,

I am officially pissed, and I mean extremely pissed. I know the cutie mark cult is nothing more than a group of little bitches but this time they went too far. I took those three into my home to teach them things so that maybe they would quit whining about being blank flanks but what do they do? They wound up taking advantage of me because I am a princess.

Here was their problem, they were sick and tired of being losers nopony gave a shit about at their school and thought that they could show up one of the rich fillies that got all the attention. I am going to tell you this right now Celestia, you have no idea how much I wanted to kill those three and eventually, kill their whole damn class when they brought them over for the "Twilight Time" I had set up for them.

Hell even them taking me out to lunch was nothing more than a scam, there I was eating like I normally do thinking nopony will notice but then their whole damn class was outside taking pictures of me and probably laughing because I am not the cleanest eater. Also, apparently those little bastards must have got it in their heads that I go wherever those little bitches go. What a crock of shit, I can't stand those three to start with and now, now if I could get away with it I would slaughter them in front of their sisters and feast on their flesh.

In the end I did decide to be nice one more time and helped them learn how to do the crap I was teaching them. Now though, I'm through being a nice pony. I tried it once and it bit me in the ass. Perhaps you should take this as a learning lesson, before you go being all sweet and kind towards the fillies you teach, just know they'll stab you in the back when you least expect it.

Now that this is over, my days of helping others is over. I will not allow myself to be stabbed in the back again and if those little cunts cross my path again, I WILL kill and eat them. That way they can't wrong me nor can they wrong you, everypony wins, right!

Hungry for CMC Meat,

Princess Twilight Sparkle

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Dear Cutie Mark Cult,

I'm done helping you little bitches. You took advantage of me solely because I am a princess. I get it, you wanted to show up the rich bitches in your class but still, what you did was wrong. What I did for you was the nicest thing I ever did for anypony yet you took advantage of me like I was nothing.

Don't come asking me for help anymore, for anything. I despise you three almost as much as I despise Celestia so I would advise you steer clear of me if you know what is good for you.

Hating Your Guts,

Princess Twilight Sparkle

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Dear Princess Twibitch,

Did I hear you right, you actually helped somepony out of the goodness of your heart? Wow I never once imagined that would happen. I suppose you aren't as big of a bitch as I thought you were but there is one thing that you did wrong that has caused me to be disappointed in you. Had I been in your situation, I would have killed those fillies on the spot. Believe it or not, I think that situation would have warranted a death sentence, an immediate death sentence.

However, because you did not kill them on the spot, you can not go out and kill them now and go unpunished. Let that be a lesson to you, a princess needs to make quick decisions and when it comes to dishing out punishments, it must be done quickly. Perhaps next time you will know to act more quickly when somepony does something like this to you.

Now I am going to let you in on something. When I first started reading your letter, I felt a genuine amount of sympathy for you. When I saw that you had been taken advantage of, I decided that you could come home and we could work on repairing our relationship UNTIL you brought up killing and eating those fillies in front of their sisters.

Oh Twily, you were so close, so so close to getting to come home but you just had to fuck that up, didn't you? Damn it sucks to be you, doesn't it?

Glad I'm Not You,

Princess Celestia

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Dear Princess Twilight,

We know what we did was wrong and if we promise that we won't do anything to you ever again, will you stop being mad at us, pleeeease?

Sincerely,

Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo

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To a Shit Eating, Lying Bitch,

You were going to let me come home until I brought up killing and feasting on those little cunts' corpses? That right there is proof that you are nothing but an insincere, trolling bitch. If you gave half a fuck about Equestria's monarchy, you wouldn't have cared what I said, you would have let me free myself from this dump but oh no, you just have to continue to allow me to be miserable.

Now I hope the fillies up there stab you in the back, literally. Hell I'll even find them some spears to loan them. Now go do Equestria a favor and choke to death on some cake.

Despising You More than Ever,

Princess Twilight Sparkle

Comments

[Ri2]

Celestia was never going to let her come home no matter what she said. She's just dangling it in front of Twilight to mock her, because she's a horrible person.