Unpleasant Correspondence

by StormLuna

Dungeons & Discords

Dear Princess Celestia,

I am going to be honest, I don't know why you would make Fluttershy go away on some friendship trip to Yakyakistan when her number one friend is anywhere he wants to be. Thanks to you and the doormat, I had to spend the night with Big Mac and Spike.....ugh, me hang with third tier characters?

Come to find out, that game of theirs, "Ogres & Oubliettes" is quite fun and it has given me some ideas. In this game, Spike named the land "Spiketopia" which is proof that he is a narcissistic little bastard. The main antagonist is called the Squizard and he has captured a unicorn princess named Shmarity....aka, Rarity.

I am honestly thinking about turning the squizard into a real thing and having it seduce Rarity and crush Spike's already fragile heart. Think I should do it?

Sincerely,

Discord

P.S. After a night of fun and games, I'm good friends with those two and since I've turned the game real, we'll be hanging out a lot more often.

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Dear Discord,

Seriously, YOU are into that dumb game now too? Please, I would think that the Lord of Chaos could do better than that. Now what you have told me about Spike and how he has things named, it doesn't surprise me. Chances are though he can't score with his crush in the game either, can he?

Regarding making the squizard real and having it seduce Rarity, do it! I want to receive a letter from Spike crying about how a squid wizard seduced Rarity and forever eradicated any chance he will ever score with her.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

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Dear Twilight,

I want to know what the hell is going on. What the fuck was up with your outburst at that adorable little yak with the bow in her hair? I get it, she glared at Fluttershy but still, that is no reason to go off on someyak that adorable. I am going to let you in on something, Prince Rutheford is not thrilled with you right now. Surprisingly it is not because you went off on that young yak, it is because you are nothing short of a doormat now.

You see, we got to talking and he thought that you would still be a strong-willed princess you were when we befriended them but he lost all respect for you when he saw you constantly saying, "I'm sorry." to Fluttershy every time she would hit you when you breathed wrong. I'm thinking next time we all have to go, I'll just replace you with Starlight. She still thinks for herself and despite Trixie being rather demanding, she hasn't let her alter her any. Long story short, I'm not taking you on trips like that anymore.

Severely Disappointed in You,

Princess Celestia

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Dear Princess Celestia,

I know you are expecting to hear from Twilight but that won't be happening this time. I decided to ground her for going off on that juvenile yak for not speaking our language properly. I told her that if she can't be nice to a yak, that she probably won't be nice to anypony.

Don't you worry though, I whipped her a few times and put her in her place. I know you always hated it when she would be a bitch so I decided she had to be punished. Maybe next time she will be nice unless she wants me to bring out the chains.

Twilight's Owner,

Fluttershy

P.S. If you're taking us all on a trip, Twilight is going. I can not risk her doing something that may be detrimental to the relationship, like leave her castle without my permission, go to Sugarcube Corner and stuff her face with cake or go within 100 feet of the spa alone.

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Dear Pink Pony,

Yak wants to know why purple pony yell at little yak and yak wants to know why purple pony is such a doormat and let yellow pony abuse her so much.

Sincerely,

Yak Prince

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Dear Prince Rutheford,

Pink pony wants to apologize for purple pony's behavior. Purple pony had a blow up but don't worry, yellow pony punished her for her behavior. It won't happen again.

Sincerely,

Pink Pony

Comments

[aline1]

Well one thing is for sure Twilight really, really needs a good therapist...

[StormLuna]

9110861

Oh she has a therapist that is trying to help her through this but she isn't listening. Soon she will have more than just one giving her advice.

[Love able chaos]

I miss the old bitchy Twilight.