Unpleasant Correspondence

by StormLuna

Crusaders of the Lost Mark

Dear Princess Celebitch,

Did you know that it took ten months to fix the local playground down here after Tirek ruined it? I was asked to go survey the damage and to be honest, he barely touched it, he focused more on the library than anything else. What matters though is that they got a private donation to replace it instead of wasting funds that could be allocated to me.

Oh and in other news, that cutie mark cult got their marks but I'm sure they'll still continue to be little hellions anyway.

Superior to You,

Princess Twilight Sparkle

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To My Little Twibitch,

Well that is good that they didn't waste government funds on new playground equipment but outside of that, I don't give a shit, it doesn't affect my life any.

Not Caring One Bit,

Princess Celestia

P.S. Those funds would not be better used to give to you, they would be better used to put a golden statue of me here in Canterlot!

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Dear Princess Celestia,

We did it, we finally did it! We got our cutie marks! The three of us are so happy that we will no longer be called blank flanks. Now we have learned that our special talent is helping other ponies either get their marks or reconnect with the one they have! What is the most amazing is that we were able to finally get Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon to be nice to everypony!

I know this may not seem like a big deal to you but we just thought we would share this wonderful news. You know something, we will even invite you to our cute-ceañera! We know you'll enjoy it because there will be cake! Will you please come, it would make it even better, pleeeeeeease!

Your Respectful Subjects,

Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo

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Dear Cutie Mark Cult,

Why the hell would I want to come to your damn cutie mark party? I am still pissed over the shit you pulled when you were gossip columnists for the school newspaper. You three should consider yourselves perfectly lucky that I only made you clean the castle for a couple weeks when I could have banished you to the moon or even worse, forced you to live with Twilight.

I get it, you're going to make sure there will be cake but I have my own, much larger cake on the docket and could you let Twilight know that I have a white and pink snack scheduled afterwards? Maybe someday I will find it in my heart to forgive you but as for now, no, not yet.

Still Pissed at You,

Princess Celestia

Comments

[StormLuna]

9055974

It is just how Celestia is. Somepony distracting a guard is a serious offense while the framing of Rainbow doesn't affect her life any so she isn't going to care.