Unpleasant Correspondence

by StormLuna

Magic Duel

Dear Princess Celestia,

Here I thought everything was going to be fine and dandy but then an old foe of mine just had to come back, Trixie. When I first saw her I figured that you probably sent her to town simply to annoy me but then all of a sudden she has magical powers that rival yours. What the hell was going on there? It didn't take me long though to believe that you had cast some sort of spell on her to give her goddess tier powers simply to make me look like a joke.

Now I think you really need to punish her because she cast an age spell on a couple of the colts down here and when I couldn't reverse it, she ran me out of town! Now normally I wouldn't care about that but what if she would have done something to the spa twins, something horrible like making them her sex slaves. Now I would have been pissed had she done that and blamed you and your trolling ways for their suffering.

Now you are probably going to find this odd but I had to talk to Zecora about this! I, a powerful unicorn, had to seek advice on how to defeat Trixie from a zebra. Now luckily Fluttershy came out and told me about that amulet of Trixie's but I would still be disappointed. Once she was there, I had Zecora brew up a potion that made Fluttershy go into heat, and I mean an extreme heat so she would let me initiate her. I don't know what happened but despite being in heat, Fluttershy STILL wouldn't let me initiate her. I don't know what the hell is wrong with her but she certainly doesn't know what she is missing, little bitch anyway.

Now regarding the magical advice, Zecora simply told me to paint my friends to look like one another and have them jump out from behind statues. Seriously, she honestly thinks that is going to work and she honestly thinks her damn doorstop is going to pass for a magical amulet? Now I thought her idea was idiotic but I decided to placate her and go through with her plan.

Once I got back Trixie agreed to another duel and while I thought it was initially an idiotic idea, having my acquaintances paint themselves to look like each other and jump out from behind statues actually worked and that glorified street magician actually thought my "amulet" was real, took that Alicorn amulet off and put mine on. Dumb little bitch anyway, after that she back to her lame self. Had I been thinking I would have FORCED her to be my friend after she apologized but oh no, that just had to skip my mind. What a shame too, I'm sure that horn of hers would have given me plenty of pleasure.

I suppose all I can do is hope that the next time that little bitch comes to town is force her to give me the horn sex that I so desperately need. Trixie may be a bitch but I'll admit, she did make me really hot.

Suddenly Desiring Trixie,

Twilight Sparkle

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Dear Princess Celestia,

The Great and Powerful Trixie wants to thank you for giving her not only the money to buy that Alicorn amulet but also information as to where it was. She was able to go to Ponyville and cause Twilight a lot of stress, not to mention enslave the whole town. What was even better is that she was able to run Twilight out of town. While it didn't seem like it, The Great and Powerful Trixie is certain that she actually made those ponies happy!

Making the lives of those ponies miserable was so much fun, especially that whiny bitch Rarity when Trixie forced her to sew banners for her! However, The Great and Powerful Trixie is not thrilled that that zebra gave Twilight advice on how to fool her and take her amulet off. Because of Trixie's foolishness, she wound up getting ran out of town by your student. Next time though, Trixie will know not to be fooled so easily.

Disappointed,

The Great and Powerful Trixie

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To My Trixie Desiring Student,

Once again I am extremely disappointed in you. Here you are my star student and yet you are shown up by a street magician. Yes she had that amulet but still, you should have been able to handle her. I am quite certain that one of your old friends would have been able to mop the floor with her and that amulet. Now normally I would force a failure like you to come home until you could get your magic skills up to par but I am not going to reward you like that. You don't deserve to come home over such incompetence, I think leaving you down there would be much worse on you.

I do hope that this isn't a sign that the next time a villain comes along that you won't stand a chance against him or her. If that is the case, then I suppose Equestria will simply be doomed and you will be to blame when the country falls into despair and we are all enslaved by some unsavory creature. I would advise though that you do some studying of the limited material you have in that library of yours, maybe next time around you won't have to resort to trickery and painting your acquaintances.

Severely Disappointed in You,

Princess Celestia

P.S. I already think you are pathetic enough but you couldn't even get PETA girl in bed after Zecora gave her a potion that put her in heat. That right there is proof that you truly are a miserable, pathetic being. Hell even in heat, Fluttershy still had standards, damn it sucks to be you!

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Dear Trixie,

I am going to admit, when I began to read your letter I was impressed, very impressed. The fact that you could waltz in there and put Twilight in her place made me happy for you. Also, you forcing that diva to sew your banners together was great but then you just had to go and disappoint me.

I gave you the money to buy that amulet and let you know where it is but then you allow Twilight's trickery to defeat you. That is pathetic Trixie, pathetic. I would think that even you would know that some random zebra is not going to possess something more powerful than the Alicorn amulet.

Now normally I would punish a pony for disappointing me like this but I shall spare the rod when it comes to you. I am sparing the rod because you are likely the victim of a sub-par education system and with any luck, the next time you come across Twilight you will be ready for her. For now though, just go home and cry on your mother's shoulder because I certainly won't be here to comfort you.

Disappointed in You Too,

Princess Celestia

Author's Note:

Proof that Twilight is Equestria's Messiah

Another feat of The Great and Powerful Trixie!

Comments

[Ri2]

...That fucking bitch.

[Love able chaos]

8970314
Eyupp!!!