• Published 14th Apr 2018
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Unpleasant Correspondence - StormLuna



After sending Twilight to Ponyville, Princess Celestia demands letters from her but when Twilight starts to complain, Celestia becomes unhappy and replies to her letters in her own way.

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Rainbow Falls

To Equestria's Worst Monarch,

I learned something very interesting today, Crash is a disloyal cunt. Yep, she is a disloyal cunt. Here is what she did, she was going to take part in the trials for the Equestria Games with our Ponyville team which consisted of two below average flyers but when one of the Wonderblots was injured, they offered her a chance to fly with them.

Once this happened, the little bitch tried to hide her disloyalty by practicing with both teams until I caught her and approached her over it. Luckily I was there to set that disloyal bitch straight and after faking an injury, she finally did what was right and competed with the Ponyville team. I know I bitch about Ponyville being a dump but I'm glad they qualified. That way I can come up with the excuse to go watch them up in the Empire when my real reason for going will be seducing as many hot mares as I can.

Now that Crash has truly proven her disloyalty, I say it is time for you to replace her. All of my old friends were loyal but I still think Twinkleshine would be the best one. We may not have to use the Elements anymore but still, we need a good pony who will be loyal to me. Once we get back to that dump you cursed me to, I will be waiting at the train station for a pony deserving of being in my presence.

Much, Much Better than You,

Princess Twilight Sparkle


Dear Princess Celestia,

I am assuming you are likely mad at me over what nearly happened but put yourself in my hooves. If you had a chance to compete alongside your lifelong heroes, wouldn't you do it? I know Twilight likely told you what happened but why would you even believe that lying bitch, much less side with her? Oh well, my team will go up to the Equestria Games, beat the odds and win gold medals!

Sincerely,

Rainbow Dash


To My Bitchy Little Princess,

Give me a break Twily. You honestly think that I would reward you just because you got Crash to see the light and compete for Ponyville? Yes I am happy that you set her straight but still, that does not warrant me rewarding you. I am going to be honest, I was actually thinking of replacing her until you asked me to. Now, tough shit Twily, Crashie shall continue to be cursed upon you.

Your Always Nice Monarch,

Princess Celestia


Dear Rainbow Crash,

You better be glad you decided to compete for Ponyville in the end. Had you not, not only would I have disqualified Cloudsdale, but I would have had you, Fleetfoot and Spitfire flogged a hundred times in the square below my balcony. Now you better not pull anything like this again or I will do much worse than flog you, I will force you to move in with Twilight.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

P.S. I don't have any lifelong heroes. I am the most powerful pony in existence so why would I idolize some inferior? Oh and one other thing, keep track of that trinket that Spitfire gave you. It may come in handy someday.

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