Special: My Shy Has Given Birth!
Dear Pony Colgate,
I know you are always busy as hell but I thought you would be happy to know that my Shy has given birth to an adorable baby girl, a baby girl that somehow managed to have my eye color despite not having any of my genetics. Also, she has blue and white hair so she will look tough once she gets older and to top it off, she has blue skin too! I am so happy that she didn't get any of Fluttershy's features because pink hair and yellow skin would make her look weak, horribly weak.
Now my family and I are making plans to kill Fluttershy's family because they dropped by the hospital to visit her after the birth. Her mother and father are far too nice to ever allow to watch our precious Crest and her brother, I'm planning on contacting Mik because all he is going to do is be a drain on society and I sure the hell don't want my money going to pay for welfare for him.
Oh and another problem arose. You know that Sunset bitch? Well somehow she knew that Flutters had given birth and came to visit her. She even had the audacity to try and tell Fluttershy to take our baby and bolt in the middle of the night. She told her to go through the portal to Equestria and that I would never see either one of them again. Now naturally I ran Sunset off when I walked in on the conversation but now I am going to have to chain my Shy to the bed at night so she won't try any funny business.
Regarding Sunset, not too long before I wrote this letter I went out and beat the shit out of her for daring to corrupt my wife. I also warned her that I would report a crime involving her to our dictator friend if she doesn't stop this shit. If I did that, she would be promptly arrested and sent off to a labor camp for the rest of her miserable, pathetic life.
Now I do hope you are securing your world's Shy for after your series is over. It would really suck if somepony with a great amount of magical power was to be able to make sure she would be free of a fate that she deserves. Anyway, I need to cut this short because Fluttershy didn't cook the macaroni to the proper tenderness tonight and I must punish her severely. Hell, I'm thinking that maybe I should just cook it from now on since I'm the only one who can cook pasta properly.
Sincerely,
Human Colgate
Dear Human Colgate,
Now that is sweet how your daughter turned out. I think I know how it happened though. You see, when I heard you were marrying Shy I used my magic to create some semen and then took it to the human world. Chances are she was impregnated using the semen I donated so I might be the "father." If that is the case, I know she will turn out just fine and hopefully, a hell of a lot like me....a woman driven by greed, vengeance and a desire to kill people solely because she doesn't like them.
Now I have been extremely busy as of late but if you need me to come over and punish Fluttershy, I'll do it. Now I am in a bit of a pickle because this draconeqqus named Discord has threatened to throw not just me, but my friends and even Princess Celestia into another dimension if we didn't let Fluttershy remain free. While that is bad news, Princess Celestia has notified me that the four of us will have a very sexy present waiting for us after the end of the series AND it sounds like Twilight may be giving us this fashionista friend of hers named Rarity. Now while we were wanting a hot little pegasus with butterflies on her ass that we could horn rape on a daily basis, we can do that with both of the unicorns it sounds like we will get.
Regarding Sunset, tell Mik that you think she might be spying for an enemy nation. That should get her either thrown in a labor camp for life or perhaps even executed. Hell do the same with Fluttershy's family as well, they can't cause you any problems if they are in a labor camp or dead, right? I do think that you need to do something to keep your Shy in check. If she was to ever even try to run off, just kill her and let your dictator friend know that she was a flight risk. I'm sure he will understand. I know Princess Celestia will be like that if any of our domestic slaves try shit like that!
Sincerely,
Pony Colgate
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....I feel like pulling a lot of teeth.
9864892
Certainly you don't mean the sweet and innocent Colgate's teeth!
9865086
Both of them.
9865097
Because of what is happening with human Fluttershy?
9865105
As I said, I'm protective and vindictive.
9865106
I'm taking it you're not liking pony Colgate providing the seed for human Shy's child?
9865114
That's just her latest crime.
9865116
Hey, at least pony Fluttershy was saved by Discord, right?
9865120
This true.
9865129
Now I will be bringing in an infinitely powerful pony in the post-series specials, suggested by Hasbro's big brass to Celestia to fulfill her requests but do not worry, he won't force Fluttershy into marriage with Colgate. Colgate and her friends will have Fleur de Lis and Twilight plans on giving them Rarity as an offering as well. What I have planned for Starlight though is only known by one person that I private message a lot.....and I know some people are going to love it and some will hate it.
9865146
Alright.
Is there even a human Colgate in the canon EQG? Nevermind that, I do hope Discord throws both of them into another dimension.
I'm surprised Sunset hasn't tried to flat out kidnap human Fluttershy and force her to go to the pony world, I mean it probably wouldn't work but she does seem determined enough to try something as crazy as that. Wouldn't be the first time she's done something as insane as that, probably won't be the last (unless she's killed, which she probably will be if she tries that).
9865371
I've never seen a human Colgate but I have a feeling there probably is....she probably hasn't been shown for any more than a half a second if there is.
9865485
Regarding Sunset getting killed if she tried it, she would be. By this point, human Colgate and her family never allow her out of her sight and trying to wrestle her away from them, not an option. Colgate would break her the way she broke Shy the way pony Colgate did when they went to rescue Sci-Twi.