Unpleasant Correspondence

by StormLuna

Post-Series Special 5: Tense Mother/Daughter Letters

Dear Twilight,

I know you're all grumpy and shit, the youngest ones always are, but I am ordering that you come up for your sister's wedding and subsequent coronation. I already had Her ascended and guess what, She now has something truly special, She has infinite powers! Yep, your sister truly is something special. You know something else Twilight? Starlight is literally a goddess now so once She takes over, She could use the title Goddess-Queen! Goddess-Queen Starlight sounds really nice doesn't it?

Also, your soon to be sister-in-law gained Discord level powers during her ascension so now Trixie is more powerful than you too. I truly am disappointed in you Twilight, had you not stormed off like a little bitch I was going to have Thundercloud ascend you to a higher level too but oh well, you proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that you aren't deserving of having any more power than you already do. Who knows, maybe once She takes over Starlight will ascend you to a higher level since She has that ability and is the nice sister who cares about everypony.

Oh and before I continue on about how proud I am of my favorite, like I said before, I am ordering you to come up for your sister's wedding and coronation. If you fail to come, I will talk to Thundercloud and have him take those pretty wings of yours away and give them to Rarity. Then for shits and giggles, I'll have him take your horn and give it to Fluttershy even though she is a tyrannical bitch BUT I will not reverse that longevity spell. Long story short, either come and be here for Starlight or you'll be stuck being an earth pony for 3,000 years and that would truly suck now, wouldn't it? Anyway, see you soon Twily.

Love,

Mom

P.S. I am also ordering that you bring the newlyweds a nice gift AND that you get your sister a very nice gift for Her coronation, one that is truly worthy of Her greatness.

---

Fuck You Bitchlestia,

I get it bitch, I get it that you love your precious Starlight so much that you just had to write me like this and rub it in my face that she is LITERALLY a goddess now. I had always thought you were a troll but after pulling all this shit recently and always treating Starlight like she is more valuable than gold, I now know you are far worse.

You Bitchlestia, are a cruel, petty, spiteful hurtful sorry excuse of a mother who loves one child but hates the other. I don't know what the hell I ever did to you for you to have treated me like shit for so long. You somehow managed to hide the truth from me for decades, you banished me to a third world shit hole, you constantly laughed when I couldn't initiate PETA girl, you put me down when I was being controlled and abused by Flutterskank, you always laughed when Starlight would outshine me and you constantly refer to Starlight as "your favorite." Also, don't go thinking I didn't see that one letter you wrote to Starlight telling her how you wish she would have tore up the scroll and stopped the rainboom one last time. I know what you said, I know you said that she would have became your protege and I know damn good and well that had that happened, she'd probably have been ascended and be running this country in nothing flat.

Fine, I will come up for her ceremonies but I can't guarantee I will bring her anything nice. I'm not made out of money you know and I don't even know what I would get her. She never seemed to be big into material possessions, it seemed like as long as she had the basics she was happy. Hell maybe I'll just give her Rarity and then her and Trixie can have a sex toy that will whine all the time.

Hating Your Fucking Guts,

Princess Twilight Sparkle

P.S. Wait a minute, you are capitalizing pronouns when referring to her now? Are you doing that because it is appropriate to do so for a goddess or are you doing it just to rub it in my face as to how much better you think she is than me? Oh well, I'm thinking that after her fucking marriage and coronation, I will only deal with her if it is absolutely necessary and regarding you and Firelight, never again. Let me say this though, if those two ever were to die, I'd take over and you and your sister would be on my "must kill list."

---

Dear Princess Twilight,

You know something, I am honestly thinking that perhaps I should just have you turned to stone and put you in the sculpture garden next to Tirek, Cozy Glow and Chrysalis but spray something on you that would cause the birds to shit all over you. I will say this, I will see to it that security is tripled for Starlight and Trixie because I now have a feeling that you will try to kill them in one way or another so you can usurp power that isn't rightfully yours.

You know what, forget coming up here. I'll just let you be because I do not want you coming up here and potentially harming your much better sister. Oh and you really want to know why I'm so good to Her and not you? It is because you have always been talking about overthrowing me, taking over and running this country but Starlight never has. Just think Twilight, had you never brought up becoming queen someday, you could very well be in the position to rule alongside Starlight and Trixie but oh well, it sucks to be you doesn't it?

Love,

Mom

---

To the Absolute Worst Mother Ever,

That is a crock of shit bitch. I could have been the most obedient protege and then a complete "yes ma'am" princess and you still would be shitting all over me. You know damn good and well that you'd still be showing Starlight favoritism no matter what so I don't know why you're bothering lying to me.

Fine, go ahead and turn me to stone, see if I care. Hell you may as well turn me to stone and then banish me to the moon or throw me in Tartarus. That way I wouldn't be a threat to the precious goddess-queen and her little wife. Forget it Tia, I'm done. I'm not bothering with you anymore since I don't have to go to your Starlight Glimmer glorification ceremony.

The Better Sister,

Princess Twilight Sparkle

---

Twilight,

I know you won't respond to this but maybe I should just have your sister age regress you into being a newborn and then your father and I can raise you right and you'll appreciate us and be thankful I brought you into this world. Don't worry, if I decide to do that I'll just have Flim and Flam go take over your school, alright?

Love,

Your Mother (And Don't You Forget it),

P.S. I thought you said that you'd never see me as your mother. I suppose you are at least acknowledging that it was me who brought your lavender flank into this world. Now if you'd just learn some respect we'd be good!

Comments

[RDDash]

I would imagine that Twilight would go like this.

okay Celestia your pranks are getting old, Not only you invited your old fling and his precious daughter to ascend onto alicorn status (which is the one thing I don't care about) you also keep insisting that you are my biological mother. Where is the hidden camera? I should've have known that troll like you couldn't possibly resist to humiliate me even further.

Your's not biological daughter.

[vortex123]

Gonna have to side with Twilight on this. I mean, it's literally Celestia's own fault Twilight turned out this way. I mean Starlight had absolutely no interaction with Celestia until after she was a full grown adult, and she turned out great. Granted, she did try to eliminate all cutie marks and alter the fabric of time, but this version of Celestia doesn't see those as negatives, and even praises those facts, so I'm not counting those.

[aline1]

I am sure I've said it before but I suspect Sombra, nightmare moon, discord, and even the real Grogar likely could have raised twilight better than this Celestia did.

[StormLuna]

9897574

You're forgetting Tirek and Chrysalis....but yeah, this Celestia did a horrible job raising her. Fun thing is, Twilight's role isn't over yet, not even close! I have made a slight change of plans that will keep her involved clear up until the very end.

9897516
And the thing is, Celestia doesn't acknowledge that she is responsible for Twilight turning out the way she did. She thinks Twilight turned out bad yet she turned out to be a whole lot like her.

9897492
That didn't even cross my mind. Twilight simply believed what the birth records showed and those are indeed the truth.

[vortex123]

Wait, something just clicked. Twilight Velvet and Night Light aren’t Twilight’s biological parents, yet Celestia still taxed them to kingdom come because of everything her biological daughter did that made her angry.

[StormLuna]

9898085

Hey, she had to hide from Twilight the real truth and since they did adopt her, she had to tax and fine them. They would have threatened to expose the "forced adoption" but know that their fate would have been incredibly unpleasant.