Unpleasant Correspondence

by StormLuna

Going to Seed

To My Relatives,

Now y'all know I ain't much of a talker but seriously, this whole Great Seedlin' nonsense ain't nothing more than a old mares' tale we tell foals to make them want to take part in the harvest instead of just gripin' and complainin.' Now Applejack, at first y'all were bein' rational and knowin' that this was just a bunch of bullshit and pretendin' so Apple Bloom would be happy but now, y'all are back to belevin' in this? Grow up already. You saw that I was bustin' my flank all night long just so Apple Bloom would be happy.

Come next confluence, we're not doing any of this Great Seedlin' bullshit. I don't feel like busting my flank 24/7 for several days to keep your belief of an old mares' tale going. If you do, I'll contact the most powerful pony in the land to nip it in the bud.

Dead Tired and Pissed Off,

Big Mac

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Big Mac,

Look, we know you did the thing with the apples but what about them carrots? What about the tracks it made with them carrots. If you don't seriously know it exists, then you're just being too uptight.

Knowing the Great Seedlin' Exists,

Your relatives

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Dear Princess Celestia,

I know y'all probably ain't going to care about this but because of some legend about the Great Seedlin' coming along every confluence and it makin' the harvest better, I had to do almost all the work while my younger sisters were out setting traps trying to catch that thing. I worked all day and all night just to keep this thing going for Apple Bloom. I even laid apples out in crazy patterns so she'd be happy and then Applejack suddenly started believin' in this thing again. It didn't help that our cousin Goldie brought it up. Look, I'm dead tired and I don't want to go through this again. Could you perhaps intervene come next confluence?

Hoping You'll Help,

Big Mac

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Big Mac,

I can't believe I'm going to say this but you are a good, hard working stallion (one of only two I respect) so sure, I'll help. It may not be in the way you hope though. Let me know when the next confluence comes along and I will go down there myself and break the bad news to them since they don't believe you. Even better, if they still demand you do this, I'll tell them that I will take Apple Bloom back to Canterlot with me as a permanent house keeper. If that doesn't scare them into being a rational thinking bunch, nothing will.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia