Unpleasant Correspondence

by StormLuna

The Ticket Master

Dear Princess Celestia,

Well I have come to the conclusion that you forcing me to stay in this hell hole was no joke so I have decided to help these so-called friends, well more like acquaintances, with some of their boring everyday activities. I knew the town has to eat so I figured I'd help Applejack on the farm but you just had to cause a work stoppage didn't you?

Now I know you're a grade A troll because you invited me to the Grand Galloping Gala when you know I'm not into boring shit like that. I think I would rather spend a thousand years on the moon than have to go to some formal dance with a bunch of rich snobs. Unfortunately my apple farming acquaintance doesn't feel the same way. She sees the damn ticket and suddenly decides she wants to go and she ain't the only one!

She wants to go and sell these disgusting things she calls treats, Crash wants to go and try to impress the Wonderbolts, Pinkie thinks the Gala is a foals' party and wants to go, Rarity wants to seduce your nephew....ewww, gross! Of course Fluttershy wants to go and foalnap your animals and bring them home with her. Now I had a serious decision to make, who the hell should I take? Normally I would just have had them fight each other and give the top two participants the tickets and say "screw this shit" but I may as well go, maybe Twinkleshine and I can have some fun.

Good grief these acquaintances of mine pissed me off. All of a sudden they thought that doing me special favors would get me to give them the ticket. Crash thought kicking a hole in the clouds would do it, Rarity thought making me an outfit, if you can even call it that, would do it, Applejack thought overfeeding me again would do it, Fluttershy thought cleaning the library would do it and little miss ADHD thought that notifying the whole damn town I have an extra ticket would do it.

I swear, they must be complete idiots if they think causing me so much stress will get me to give them the tickets. Thanks to Pinkie, the whole town was chasing me around and offering to do everything for me, everything from helping me with my gardening to providing me with a much needed stress release. Finally I got sick of it and teleported into the library but I just couldn't escape all these troublemakers because my stalkers, I mean friends were in there waiting for me. Ugh, can't they just leave me the hell alone?

Finally I had it, I simply told them that choosing was too hard on me and finally they relented and apologized for being such bitches and stressing me out. They finally admitted they didn't want the ticket and as you know, I sent the damn things back. Phew, I thought I was going to escape having to go to that shitty event but then you just had to troll me again, you sent us all tickets.

I suppose I shouldn't bitch too much because I finally did get some food in my system but still, curse you for sending me enough tickets for everypony.

You irritated student,

Twilight Sparkle

---

To my irritated student,

I must say, it is always fun to see you get worked up when things don't exactly go your way. I know you're just now getting used to actually spending time with your friends rather than blowing them off and hiding in your study tower. I am happy to see you helping out down there but one measly day helping out on the apple farm won't cut it, I am expecting more from you.

Regarding the tickets, I will admit I only sent two so I could see you get all worked up because you're so adorable when you are over stressed. I am not thrilled with your friends' desires though. Applejack doesn't know she will need a peddler's permit, Rainbow Crash doesn't know the Wonderbolts won't accept anypony, Rarity doesn't know my nephew only loves himself, Pinkie doesn't know this ain't a foal's party and Fluttershy doesn't know my animals hate everypony except me. Please tell them this so they won't cause any unnecessary drama.

Yeah I know they caused you a lot of stress but you should have just accepted their favors instead of bitching all day about being hungry, it is most unbecoming of a student of mine. Now that you have enough tickets for all of you to come, you better be here or your punishment will be harsh, very harsh. What it will be yet I'm not sure but I'm certain you won't like it.

Your Fun Loving Troll,

Princess Celestia

Comments

[Shenzy]

Only now i realized there are 50 more chapters........... uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh nope
that's too much^^