• Published 14th Apr 2018
  • 4,867 Views, 1,441 Comments

Unpleasant Correspondence - StormLuna



After sending Twilight to Ponyville, Princess Celestia demands letters from her but when Twilight starts to complain, Celestia becomes unhappy and replies to her letters in her own way.

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The Saddle Row Review

Dear Princess Celestia,

I can not believe that my friends just told that reporter about every single fucking thing that went wrong with the opening. I may not seem it but I am very pissed with them. Now I am going to be honest with you, having raccoons living and working in my Manehattan Boutique is downright disgusting but I'm doing it so that Twilight won't punish me for upsetting Fluttershy.

You know something, Fluttershy ruined her and I know you won't believe this but I honestly wish Twilight would have been a bitch and ran those pesky critters out of my shop. To top it off, thanks to the owner of the building, I had to hire his idiot daughter with glow in the dark teeth! I mean seriously, who the fuck in their right mind has glow in the dark teeth?

Oh and to make matters worse, Manehattan culture apparently finds it hip to have a DJ playing beats in there too so just to stay afloat, I have to have it be a boutique dance club with overgrown rodents serving tea. I swear, I just hope the hell this doesn't make my life too much of a nightmare because if it does, Fluttershy and her little subordinate will be to blame.

Angry Over Everything,

Rarity


Dear Rarity,

Oh joy, now you're going to start bitching instead eh? I should have known that after Twilight wimped out and became a doormat that you would be the next one to start making my life miserable. I can't say as though I'm surprised but at least you didn't make my life miserable from the moment you matured clear up until a couple weeks ago.

I know you are bitching about everything going awry at your boutique but I can think of something that will get your precious little diamond covered ass even more worked up, MORE TAXES! That's right Rarity, since you have the resources to open a third boutique, you can afford to pay more taxes! I look forward to when you have to file your taxes next year and pay out the ass, getting your money is going to be so much fun!

Waiting to Tax You Again,

Princess Celestia


Dear Princess Celestia,

How could you just raise Rarity's taxes when she is opening a new boutique? Don't you know that she will have plenty of operating costs that may not allow her to make massive profits like you think she will? For so long I never imagined that I would say this but I'm going to now. You are greedy for wanting to steal from my friend like that. I suppose I shouldn't expect anything else from you the way you have constantly taxed and fined my parents for things I have done in the past. I honestly think you need to get your priorities straight and find other ponies to tax, not my friends!

Sincerely,

Princess Twilight Sparkle


To a Crybaby Princess,

Ugh, not this again! Look, I know you're happy to have friends and shit but let me tell you something right now. You listen to me and listen to me good, you DO NOT challenge me and who I desire to tax. Maybe you need to pull your head out of Fluttershy's ass and read up on the tax code. Her opening another shop has put her in a higher tax bracket and if she can't pay, I'll seize all three of them and sell them off to the highest bidder. Feel free to tell her that too because it would be a crying shame if I was to have to seize her businesses now wouldn't it? :trollestia:

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

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