Unpleasant Correspondence

by StormLuna

Hiatus Special: Twilight's Rants & Request

Dear Princess Celestia,

Ok, it has been one whole year since you sent me to this dilapidated dump and I have a question for you. Don't you think I have been punished enough? I mean seriously, did you send me down here to study friendship or did you simply send me down here to see if I would break? I certainly hope it is the latter because I think I have done a damn good job at keeping myself from killing these five inferiors.

Just think, had you let me stay up in Canterlot, I probably could be closing in on if not exceeding Starswirl's abilities. I was already incredibly talented but had I not been denied access to immense amounts of knowledge, I could have probably accomplished enough magical feats that I could have found a way to transform myself into an Alicorn and rule this country.

You must truly feel ashamed that you have prevented the most intelligent unicorn in all of Equestria from fulfilling her destiny. Was this your plan all along, to take me in as your protege as a filly and then troll me by sending me to some backwater town that most ponies can't find on a map? If so, that shows what a trolling bitch you truly are.

Also, couldn't you have at least found ponies down here that would be worthy of being in my presence? My guess is no because outside of Aloe and Lotus, none of these ponies are even deserving of me talking to them. I only do so because writing them messages would be too much of a pain in the ass and a waste of paper.

Tell you what, I'll stop bitching entirely if you will simply let me come home and resume my studies. I'll study harder than ever before and I will make you proud. Hell, I will even prepare you cakes and bring them to you in bed every single morning if you'll just let me come home!

Your Very Homesick Student,

Twilight Sparkle

---

To My Very Homesick Student,

You know something, I was actually considering letting you come home UNTIL you mentioned turning yourself into an Alicorn and running this country. Now not only will I not let you come home, I have decided to deem you as a threat to national security. Even thinking about overthrowing me and claiming you could rule here is a serious crime. Now normally such comments would result in either banishment to Tartarus or banishment to the moon but I think those punishments would be way too soft. I'll simply make you stay down in that dump for the rest of your miserable, pathetic days instead!

Also, if you honestly think you could have reached Starswirl's abilities in just one year, you are delusional. It took him decades of study to reach the level he attained. I honestly don't think you understand how intelligent he was and how well learned he was. Not everypony is destined to be a great sorcerer like him, ESPECIALLY NOT YOU. Just because you have more magical talent than that street magician does not mean you are anything special.

Now do me a favor, quit bitching and go to the spa. I'm sure your only "friends" down there are more than ready to help you unwind. I would write more but I have just had a cake delivered to me.

Your Superior Overlord,

Princess Celestia

Comments

[pabrony]

Are there going to be "hiatus specials" after every season finale?

[StormLuna]

8916122

Yes, there will be.

[pabrony]

8916578 Yay!

[StormLuna]

8916652

I have already completed a couple for after season three given how it ended.