Unpleasant Correspondence

by StormLuna

Applejack's "Day" Off

Dear Princess Celestia,

Ok, this is something I just don't get. For starters, Applejack and Rarity are now spending time together in the steam room at the spa that I used to have so much fun in before I hooked up with Fluttershy. I can't help but wonder what they do in there and wonder if they leave as many stains as me and the spa twins did? Well that is only part of my rant.

Now about feeding Applejack's damn pigs. Seriously, a list to feed them? Now Spike suggested I just dump the slop in the trough but since there was a list involved, I just had to follow it and I honestly wish I hadn't. Soon though I would discover that Applejack's ways of doing things were so ass backwards that it wasn't funny.

I will say that Rarity is certainly changing considering her and AJ went into the hen house, ran the chickens out and did Faust knows what in there. I remember a time when Rarity was a whiny little bitch who didn't even like going to the farm, much less getting it on in a stinky hen house.

Now if I weren't committed to Fluttershy I would probably join those two at the spa and see what the hell it is those two do although I'm sure AJ loves the horn sex. Maybe I should ask her sometime and see if she'd ever want a little Sparkle in her....well I would if Fluttershy wasn't my true love....and please don't tell her that I brought up thinking about giving AJ a little Sparkle, please?

Sincerely,

Princess Twilight Sparkle

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Dear Twilight,

Yeah, the way earth ponies do things are pretty backwards but what surprises me is that Rarity and Applejack are suddenly spending so much time together, especially in the hen house. Hell I remember back when those two wanted to kill each other when you had that lame slumber party while Spike was up here trying to but failing miserably in trying to score with Twinkleshine. Sorry I forgot to tell you about that but I know you would have been really upset at the time.

Now regarding what they do in the steam room, I can't be sure but when I spy on them, whenever they come out of the spa they always have guilty looks on their faces. I can't help but wonder if the twins don't join them since you betrayed them and threw them out of your life in favor of a pony who is making you a softy.

Now regarding you talking about giving AJ a bit of Sparkle, don't worry, you secret is safe with me!

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

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Applejack,

How is it that you could not notice how inefficient you were in doing your chores? I can't help but wonder if you didn't do this out of spite or just so you could lure me into the hen house to have some fun? Yeah it provides us with plenty of privacy but the smell is still horrible but I'll do it for you.

Now I am glad that Twilight and I streamlined your chores so now we can go to the spa, seduce the twins and lock ourselves in the steam room for a bit. I do want to let you in on a secret though, you know those dark stains on the floor? Those are things the twins still haven't cleaned up from their romps with Twilight. I know they're pissed at her and will never give her a chance again but the fact that they never cleaned those up makes me wonder if they don't miss her.

On a final note, meet me at the spa tomorrow at noon or it will be more than my horn I put in you, got that sexy girl?

Ready to Have Some Fun,

Rarity

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Dear Rarity,

What, y'all discovered that those stains were from Twilight? Now you have to admit that is dirtier than the hen house! I'm thinking we need to make the spa twins clean that up before we go there again. I don't know about you but I don't want to be exposed to such filth.

Oh and you think you'll put something in me besides your horn? You're forgetting how strong us earth ponies are aren't you? You know that I could easily buck you off of me if you tried putting something else up in me. Until Aloe and Lotus clean that filth up, I say we keep it to the hen house.

Sincerely,

Applejack

Comments

[sykko]

We've got Twishy and Rarijack, the future chapters have got me intrigued for the next ships.