• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 14,847 Views, 12,514 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou

Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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Monkeying Around

Jade, Hsi, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo strolled along the street outside Uncle's antique shop. It was the final stage of Jade's 'recovery' from the events in England, and despite the fillies' curiosity they'd abided by the directive not to quiz her on what had happened after they'd been herded away. They were also all walking despite preferences, just in case Jade found herself losing her balance or otherwise having issues with the balance between her mind and body. They were being so considerate that she was about to scream in frustration, and possibly hit someone.

"Look, can't you all just give me one minute to try and feel like myself without you all hovering?" she demanded finally. "I get that I'm not in the best of shapes, but yeesh!" Stepping away, she rolled her neck and shoulders to try and relax. "Only way it'd be worse is if it was the grownups..."

"Us keeping an eye on you like this means they aren't," Scootaloo pointed out, only to get a glare from Sweetie. "What? You really think she wouldn't figure it out on her own?"

"Shoulda known," Jade grumbled under her breath. Sighing, she shifted her focus. "Look, can we just...talk about something? Give me something to focus on other than everyone's concern for my well being. Anything going on at school I should be focusing on?"

"Well, the talent show is coming up-" Hsi Wu began carefully.

"Oh crap!" Jade gasped out aghast. "That's tomorrow, and I still don't have a talent picked out! I haven't even looked into how it's run now! What am I going to do?"

"Ya could ask yer boyfriend who's probably kept track a' those things for ya specifically cause he knows ya let those things slide?" Apple Bloom suggested slyly.

Jade blew her an irritated raspberry, but turned to Hsi as the fillies giggled. "Did you?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes," Hsi confirmed. "Even those details that others might overlook sharing that you need to know due to not remembering how things work in a magic-normal world."

Jade sighed in relief. "So...?" she prompted.

Hsi stared back at her for a time. "...oh, you wanted me to tell you?" he teased playfully.

"Seriously, Hsi?" Emeraude asked from Jade's shoulder. "You're really going to be like this now?"

"Of course I am," Hsi responded coyly. "I have to get her mind back to herself somehow. Good to see you manifesting again, though."

"Maybe he'd be more cooperative with a whip," Queen suggested somewhere between groggily and snidely, mostly manifest on Jade's other shoulder.

"Am I going to need to do that, Hsi?" Jade asked playfully, raising an eyebrow as she cocked her hips.

"If you like, Mistress," Hsi teased.

"I'm not your Mistress!"

"You're the one suggesting whipping me."


The fillies continued to laugh at their antics. After a time, Hsi spoke more normally. "It's your basic talent show," he explained readily. "You mark down the talent you'll showcase on your entry form, filled out the day of the show. File it as a magical or a mundane talent, and magical talents are judged against your expected magical capabilities, as recorded in your school records."

"I'm guessing mine includes the fact I'm the Chosen One?" Jade asked dryly. When Hsi nodded, she sighed. "Guess I'll need to find a mundane talent to show, then, if I want a chance of getting a good prize."

"Well, that should be easy enough," Sweetie Belle suggested. "You've got all those past lives to draw on-"

"Even if they would let me use those skills for a school talent show, I wouldn't want to win like that," Jade pointed out dryly. "If I'm going to compete, I want it to be on my own abilities, not something inherited."

"So a talent a past life hasn't mastered," Hsi mused thoughtfully. "That's going to be tricky."

"You could do lion taming!" Sweetie Belle suggested helpfully.

"How would that work?" Jade demanded in confusion.

"Just stick a mane on Hsi!" Sweetie explained. "Then you just need the chair, right?"

Jade and Hsi both facepalmed as the fillies laughed. Jade blew her bangs out of her eyes. "Well, better than trying to shape change Ruby and train her," she offered ruefully. "Any other ideas?"

"We could take our feline form and dance," Queen suggested wickedly, shaking her hips in a suggestive manner to demonstrate her meaning.

"Jade! Is! TWELVE!" Emeraude snapped back, her eyes blazing.

"You knew how to belly dance when you were twelve," Queen pointed out teasingly.

"Wait, what?" Jade and Hsi both demanded in shock.

"It was for exercise!" Emeraude snapped back, her cheeks bright red.

"Well I never said we should take our clothes off first," Queen offered playfully. "You're the one who went there."

With a scream of inarticulate fury, Emeraude lunged for Queen as they began to tussle back and forth over Jade's shoulders, tearing at each other.

Jade sighed ruefully. "Pity I can't just use a spell to make you two visible," she groaned. "My talent could be the world's most embarrassing comedy routine."

"Uh...this may seem like an obvious suggestion," Apple Bloom spoke up, "but...wut about a martial arts demonstration? Ah mean, ya are still givin' those informal lessons at school durin' recess."

Jade blinked as she thought over that. "...call that Plan B," she allowed. "A fall back if we can't find anything the school hasn't already seen."

"Pretty sure you could spice it up a bit and make it really impressive," Hsi observed calmly. "Got a few tricks along those lines I could share easily."

"How about ventriloquism?" Scootaloo offered helpfully as she stared at a rather creepy looking monkey puppet in a shop window they were passing. "That Dunham fellow's hilarious, and he doesn't even have any magic! Maybe you could do something like that?"

The whole group turned to look at the puppet, carefully examining it. It was dressed in bright green, had dark red hair slicked back in spikes, and had a rather disturbing face exquisitely carved with movable eyebrows, along with a huge grin filled with sharp teeth. "So...you want me to try throwing my voice into an evil monkey puppet?" Jade asked flatly.

"I'm not picking up any magic in it whatsoever," Hsi pointed out calmly. "Should be perfectly safe."

"...feels a little too convenient," Jade murmured before glancing up at the name of the shop.

Movere Autem Insidiamini

"...any of you read Latin?" she asked curiously.

"Nope," Apple Bloom offered apologetically.

"Not really," Sweetie Belle allowed.

"Nope!" Scootaloo declared eagerly.

"Despite what most fiction would tell you, Latin has actually very little place in magic usage," Hsi apologized.

"Well, that's reassuring!" Jade declared as she stepped into the shop to buy the puppet, certain it would be perfectly harmless.

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