• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 14,874 Views, 12,536 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou



Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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Water You Waiting For

As Uncle and the Crusaders began their training of Tohru and Jade respectively, they were interrupted by the sound of jet engines descending towards the shop. "Jackie!" Uncle roared out. "Find out who is making all that noise!"

Groaning, Jackie descended the stairs to the front of the shop, feeling rather self conscious in bright pink yoga pants and a muscle shirt. Admittedly, Viper's choice of relaxation activities - leading him through some yoga exercises - hadn't been what he expected, but it had done the trick. He was feeling much better and ready for whatever the world could throw at him. Confident in this, he opened the door.

An SR-71 Blackbird was parked on the street in front of the shop, gremlins visibly racing around inside of it. A young man who Jackie could have sworn had wings instead of arms - until he blinked - saluted. "Jet's ready to go, got the gourd, spellbook, and ingredients loaded up. Here to pick up warriors and chi wizards for demon hunting."

"...what?" Jackie asked, confused.

"We're from Veil Liaison Offices," the young man explained. "Valmont and his goons were seen in Rome, which means he's gunning to free Bai Tsa. Everybody load up!" Turning, the young man leapt into the open cockpit of the jet, settling into the front seat.

"...I was not ready..." Jackie murmured softly.


Valmont glanced around worriedly as he, Ratso, Finn, Chao, and Daolong Wong entered the Roman Colosseum, certain it wouldn't be long before Jackie Chan and his extended family showed up to attack. Whatever he did here, it would have to be fast. Thankfully, he'd brought a few backup plans...but he always liked having an extra edge. "Shendu," he asked suddenly, "can you still generate Talisman magic without the Talismans? And can you call on the Shadowkhan without your body?"

"The Shadowkhan are always at my command," Shendu hissed in response. "As for the Talismans...other than dragon fire, the rest will greatly drain my strength if overused, and yours as well."

"How big a drain for five seconds of Rabbit speed in my arms?" Valmont inquired.

"...negligible," Shendu responded, though his tone was plainly curious. He had begun to respect Valmont's cunning, and was genuinely intrigued by his mind. He wondered what sort of plan he had.

"Ratso, find the portal and open it," Valmont instructed. "And everyone, make sure you have your thermoses."

Shendu's confusion increased as Daolong Wong's Dark Warriors brought out a table and each of the Enforcers set down a thermos glowing with Dark Chi. Ratso, meanwhile, brought the box over to a lion carving at one end of the arena. The Box shot a beam of light at the carving, transforming it into a diamond pattern with a hole for Bai Tza's trigram. The Box floated out of Ratso's hand and embedded itself in the keyhole. The outer side irised open, revealing the green core before sending a beam of chi into the ground, opening a green gateway that swirled with red and yellow within.

A torrent of water swarmed up out of the portal, taking the shape of a blue skinned, fish-faced mermaid with blue tentacles for hair, white and blue armor garbing her form. "At last...freedom!" Bai Tza cried happily as the portal closed behind her and she hovered in the air. "You are most efficient, Valmont," she purred softly, giving the young man bedroom eyes.

"As much as I would love to speak with you at length, especially when such a lovely creature is paying me compliments..." Valmont smiled to himself as he saw Bai Tza actually giggle at the compliment. "I'm afraid we must make haste. The Chans have more resources at their disposal than anticipated, and the best way to avoid conflict is to make them believe we haven't achieved our objective here yet. How soon can you assume human form?"

Bai Tza frowned as she glanced around. "Unfortunately, my powers derive entirely from my Element," she explained. "Near or within my domain, I can do anything I can visualize my powers accomplishing. Outside it, I am...far more limited."

"So you must be immersed in water before you're able to take a human form," Valmont concluded. "Inconvenient, but I was prepared for this eventuality. Was your departure from the portal magical effect alone, or can you assume pure water form at will?"

"That power is readily at my disposal," Bai Tza confirmed.

Valmont pulled out a thermos marked with Dark Chi runes and popped it open. "Then as undignified as it is, I am afraid I must ask you to do so and enter here. It will be an uncomfortable trip, but it is roomier than it seems."

Bai Tza's frown deepened. "You ask a great deal-"

"I fear to lose your regard, dear lady, but I'm afraid I'm not asking," Valmont interrupted. "It's either this or fight the fully prepared Chans!"

Bai Tza blinked in surprise at being told off...and smiled. Her body softened, and in liquid form she dove into the thermos, the small bottle somehow completely containing her. Valmont instantly capped the thermos and screwed it shut. "How close are the Chans?" he demanded of Daolong Wong.

"Close enough to have seen that," the dark wizard reported, his eyes glowing yellow as he looked through his Dark Warriors as they kept watch.

"Plan B it is," Valmont concluded as he walked over to the table, standing behind it as the Chans arrived in a high speed buggy.

"Jackie!" Uncle proclaimed as they all poured out of the vehicle. "Thermos is protected by powerful dark spell! Banishment spell will not reach demon through it!"

"Then we'll just have to get it open!" Jackie declared as the group gathered.

"Which one?" Valmont asked curiously. "This one?" He held up the thermos that had Bai Tsa inside. Rabbit power now, Shendu!

Shendu immediately put the power of super speed into Valmont's arms...and watched in amazement as he blurred them over the thermoses, rapidly switching them around until the naked eye couldn't track which one was which. Shendu now understood Valmont's plan, as all four thermoses had identical spells on them and were visually identical.

"Or this one?" Valmont asked, holding one of the thermoses up. "Or maybe this one?" he asked, setting that one down and picking up another.

"Then we'll just have to grab 'em all!" Jade shouted out, her and the fillies charging for the table.

Flame! Valmont snapped in his mind, taking a deep breath. Shendu provided, and a blast of fire shot over the heads of the youngsters, making them duck. Tohru grabbed Uncle, Jackie, and Viper and pulled them aside...and the blast of flame reached its true target, destroying the Chans' vehicle. "Scatter!" he ordered his troops as he tossed a thermos to each of them. Daolong Wong, Finn, and Chao each caught one, while Daolong Wong sent Ratso - who still held the Pan'ku Box - directly back to their base.

"Dark Wizard warping spell not strong enough to carry demon!" Uncle called out. "Get thermoses!"

Valmont grinned as the group split up to pursue. As he'd expected, the arid environment that had been of such great discomfort for Bai Tza also limited Audrey's ability to act and Apple Bloom's resources, meaning the biggest concern was Scootaloo on Cumulo. The rest could run, but not quite fast enough. To his surprise, the Chans played even more into his plans since Jackie pursued him while Uncle - on Tohru's shoulder - pursued Daolong Wong, Viper chasing Finn and the fillies on Cumulo chasing Chao.

He kept up his run until he reached the alleyways he'd been looking for. Shendu, can you give me command of one Shadowkahn?

You have it, Shendu replied immediately, afire with curiosity.

Feeling the tug of darkness, Valmont visualized what he wanted...and a blue-skinned hand wrapped in black cloth extended out of a shadow portal. Tossing his cane lightly into the air, Valmont reached into his jacket and pulled out a fifth thermos - the one that held Bai Tsa, which he'd slipped in there while dazzling the Chans with the shell game - and placed it in the hand. As he'd hoped, the summoned ninja pulled the thermos through the Shadow Realm, and he felt it deposited safely on his desk.

Now all that was left was for each of the group to be cornered. Daolong Wong would warp himself away as soon as he was cornered for the thermos, and each of the others - Valmont included - would open theirs. As soon as each thermos opened, it would release a prepared warp spell that Daolong Wong had bottled at Valmont's instruction, warping them back to base.

While the least pleasant plan - especially for Bai Tsa, who would have to endure travel through the Shadow Realm while in sensory deprivation - it had gone off without a hitch.

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