• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 22,355 Views, 13,302 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou



Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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Round 2

Augustus frowned to himself as he turned away from the fighting arena. The sense of something not quite right had been with him the entire time, and only increased as the bout between Jackie and the werewolf 'Jon' had ended without a clear winner as it reached the point neither could gain an upper hand on the other unless they began using lethal techniques, and neither was willing to for an 'exhibition match'. Seeing that the 'draw' had been unpleasant for all watching, Jade had immediately encouraged a second exhibition match...this one being Viper against - of all things - a green-haired succubus. Part way through the fight, Chang had excused himself, leaving Jade in charge of the announcements...and the way he smirked when Jade happily agreed to keep it going had left Augustus certain something was going on that they weren't seeing. Jade wasn't just an excitable pre-teen, after all. She was the Chosen One. All sorts of mischief could be worked with that if magic were at work.

As such, Augustus attempted to tail Chang into his complex, only to immediately get lost. Chang himself seemed to have vanished around the first corner, and the vaulted hallways seemed to continuously overlap themselves leading Augustus into what felt like an impossible maze. However, he wasn't about to let himself get trapped or lost that easily. Going by his suspicions that magic was at work, he stopped and thought aloud.

"Let's see," he mused to himself as he glanced around, "the building itself wasn't large enough to have housed this many twisting and turning hallways. On top of that, there were points where you could look through one window and see straight out one on the opposite side. That suggests this is a maze-based magical deterrent rather than a simple spatial expansion." Reaching into a pocket of his jacket, he pulled out a notebook he'd compiled on various forms of magical misdirection that law enforcement knew about, figuring it would make a good cheat sheet for situations like this one. Flipping through it, he came to the section he'd made for this particular type of magical mischief.

"There are three primary types of labyrinth spaces," he read aloud. "The prison, the befogged, and the Escher. The prison is built specifically to house a particular entity or object, and is easy to enter and reach the center but difficult to leave." Glancing down, he ran his hand over the carpet, feeling how the individual fibers had been moved in multiple directions from foot traffic so there was no continuous pattern of wear. "This path has traffic in numerous directions, whereas the prison labyrinth would only have the one as anyone within would feel compelled to move towards the center, rather than any exit. Not a prison labyrinth." He looked around at the walls. "Still seems bound by normal physics despite getting turned around, so it's not an Escher labyrinth. Besides, the amount of magic those take to maintain would be rather prohibitive...not to mention Valmont, Hsi Wu, Bai Tsa, or Po Kong would have felt it on approach and said something."

He flipped through the book. "So, barring this being some odd variant, this is a befogged labyrinth, meaning it's specifically designed to make me lose focus on where I'm going so I have trouble finding my way in or out." He read further in the book. "To escape such a labyrinth and get deeper, I need to break the rules of the labyrinth, and do so in a way that seems counter-intuitive to my goal." Putting the book back in his pocket, he looked to the nearest wall where there was a glassed in window through which he thought he could see everyone gathered around the fighting arena. "Here goes nothing..." Drawing back his fist, he threw a punch with all his might at the window...

...and phased right through into a much more darkly lit hallway, with chains hanging from the stone walls and torches the only sources of illumination. "That worked better than I could have hoped," he murmured in pleasure. "Uncle's right. I really must do more research. It's quite helpful."

"You do not belong here!" an angry, gravelly, barely understandable voice snarled out.

Augustus spun to face the source of the voice. The figure facing him looked somewhat humanoid, with a muscular build contained by a white muscle shirt and black pants. However, a few features told Augustus the figure definitely wasn't human...or if he was, he was heavily modified. Under his bald crown, his eyes were shrunken in his face, and the entire lower half was consumed by his peeled back grin of razor sharp teeth. Spikes protruded from his muscular arms, and there were odd bony protrusions on the top of his wrists. His fingers and toes ended in razor sharp claws rather than nails, and he glared angrily at Augustus...though it was hard to tell if his face could make any other expression.

Augustus raised his hands uncertainly, hoping to manage this peacefully if possible. "I'm...looking for the Men's Room?" he offered hopefully.

The figure thrust out with his arms, and the bony protrusions above his wrists extended into bone blades that stretched two feet past his hands. "Master say anyone who not belong...die!" he snarled out, a snake-like tongue visible between his fangs as he spoke before lunging forward.

Augustus reacted quickly, ducking under the first lunging blade strike and pulling out a spritz bottle that looked designed to hold perfume. As the figure lunged in for a bite attack, Augustus held his breath and sprayed it in the man-beast's face, causing it to rear back with a gagging, choking roar. As the other blade thrust forward in response to the movement, Augustus pulled off his belt, wrapped it around the figure's wrist, and jerked forward. As he'd hoped, the blade embedded itself in the stone wall behind him. However, he could tell that a single movement on the figure's part would pull the blade back out, so instead he pulled out one of his heavier notebooks - he was so glad he requisitioned the Trench Coat of Many Things upgrade when he got those promotions, even if he had to load it all himself, all those pockets with no additional weight was just too useful - he brought it down hard just past where the bone blade extended from the wrist, the force of the blow cracking and then breaking the bone, leaving the blade embedded in the wall.

As the beast reared back with a howl of pain, Augustus leapt forward. Grabbing its head between his hands, he brought his knee up into its chin, slamming the jaws together on the extended tongue. He winced as the impact left his knee feeling like it had been cracked, and barely braced himself on that leg before bringing his steel-toed shoe up into the beast's crotch. As the figure fell forward clutching itself, Augustus leapt away, kicked off the wall, and swung his whole body around to bring both feet - steel toed fronts first - into the back of the beast's head. It went down hard. Pulling a bundle from another pocket, he checked that the beast was unconscious before moving to stuff it in its mouth.

"If that's the standard model 3 Sleep, it won't work on him," a calm voice spoke from behind him. "If you have a model 7, that will fit his biology better."

Augustus blinked. "Right," he murmured before putting a different bundle into the creature's mouth. He then turned to face the figure that spoke. "And you are...?" he asked nervously.

Standing there was a young-seeming man with Asian features, his long white hair tied in a braid that hung halfway down his back. He was dressed all in blue, and his eyes glowed white. He smiled disarmingly. "All I can say at the moment is 'On your side'. Any more should be saved until we're away from this one, warrior."

Augustus groaned as he pushed himself to his feet, wincing at the pain in his knee. "I'm no warrior," he managed to say. "For that you want my friend Jackie. I'm just a cop following an intuition."

The man raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Really now?" he asked calmly. Seeing Augustus clutching at his knee, he reached out and pressed a hand there. Wind seemed to flow of its own accord around the injured joint, and in moments the pain was gone. "I'd have preferred betting on Kurtis to Johnny last time around anyway," he muttered under his breath. "This way," he stated firmly, gesturing for Augustus to follow him.

Uncertain what else to do, Augustus straightened his jacket and followed.


Once in a more secure alcove, the figure spoke up. "I'm sure you have many questions," he began calmly.

"Mostly whether you're acting as a Class 1 or a Class 2 right now...Fujin," Augustus stated calmly.

The figure blinked in surprise. "You recognized me? I'm impressed."

"A friend and pain in the neck can channel your brother's power," Augustus explained calmly. "I know the feeling of his lightning from that, and your wind felt similar. Wasn't hard to shoot that target in the dark."

Fujin chuckled softly. "Indeed. Though I'm afraid the answer is neither. I am currently operating under...a completely different set of guidelines, one that predates the forming of the Jade Council. It doesn't give me any authority...just a job I'm filling in for my brother on because if he came, his Avatar here - that friend and pain in the neck you mentioned - would react magically to his presence, and at this point stealth is important." He paused, gathering his thoughts on how best to explain this.

"Chang is working for some sort of warlord from another dimension, and this tournament he's set up will somehow let the warlord lay claim to the planet if it goes a certain way, and you're here looking for someone to stop it?" Augustus interpreted.

Fujin's eyes widened in shock. "You are...surprisingly on the ball," he murmured thoughtfully.

"The Jade Council exists to let humanity develop a defense against the Fell Elder Gods we only know of through Lovecraft's work," Augustus explained simply. "Anything that predates that has to involve alternate dimensions, and Chang was far too pleased with himself for getting the Chosen One to do the announcements for the tournament."

Fujin's face paled. "Then we must hurry. He is seeking his ritual space now, and if he gets there whilst the Chosen One oversees the Tournament, the Invitation will be Extended. If we are to close the Loophole created by the world's history being rewritten, we must act fast and defeat the Warlord before he sets foot in Earthrealm...and before his name is spoken." He frowned darkly. "I am afraid I must put it all on you. Direct interference is not allowed in these situations, only the selection of and arming or empowerment of Champions. If there is any way I can aid you-"

"Pads," Augustus interrupted firmly.

"I...beg your pardon?" Fujin asked in confusion.

"I nearly broke my knee on that last guy's chin," Augustus explained easily. "I've got the tools and tricks in my pockets to deal with anything I could conceive of coming through here, but if I'm going to have to close to hand-to-hand, it'd be nice if I wasn't breaking my bones because theirs are harder than mine."

Fujin chuckled softly before sending a wind into the clothes Augustus wore, which settled in his long-sleeved shirt and trousers, adding gloves with the fingertips missing so they did not interfere with his sense of touch. "There. Your clothes now have a protection that will prevent you from injuring yourself with your own strikes. Good luck, Augustus Black."

Nodding, Augustus turned to march further into the structure, his long jacket billowing in the air around him. For all he'd apparently got sucked into something potent and magical again, this was honestly a relief. There was a criminal in action, and he had a job to do.

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