Armor Up
Jackie and Viper carefully made their way up the hill towards the ancient pagoda that was their destination. Uncle's research had suggested that a particular artifact there - the Armor of the Immortals - would be quite useful in dealing with the physically stronger demons they would have to face. Hsi Wu had confirmed that the artifact had powerful magic embedded into the metal, but would say no more about it than that since he wouldn't be able to visit the pagoda in question. Jade had been flat out forbidden from accompanying Jackie and Viper on this trip, and since Hsi Wu couldn't carry the armor - long term contact would result in the good magic embedded within striking out at him - he couldn't be sent to retrieve it himself. As such, he remained bound to the city.
As it was more an archaeological expedition than anything else, both Jackie and Viper were dressed for the journey. Jackie was dressed in a long sleeve shirt, a short-sleeve jacket with plenty of pockets, heavy duty cargo pants, and thick hiking boots. While Viper had copied him as far as the jacket and boots, she'd chosen a tight-fitting khaki blouse and shorts that left her arms and legs bare, for better flexibility she claimed. Jackie was not about to complain, though.
As they walked up, Viper glanced back over her shoulder. "Say Jackie, why did you insist I climb ahead of you?" she asked curiously.
"You have exceptional thief skills," Jackie began, "but that applies to cities mostly. Natural terrain out here requires a completely different skill set, which I excel at as an archaeologist." He smiled disarmingly. "If you slip and start to fall, better I'm behind you to catch you before you fall too far or get hurt."
Viper raised an eyebrow. "And the fact you get to stare at my...fanny pack the entire way there has nothing to do with it?" she asked teasingly.
Jackie felt himself starting to get flustered. On the one hand, he still wasn't used to how blatantly flirtatious Viper could get with him at the drop of a hat. On the other, he had started to accept that it was okay for him to be thinking such thoughts about her...especially when, as his 'Dark' self had posited, she had been flattered and pleased that 'naughty' thoughts about her had helped him maintain his humanity when he'd contracted the chupacabra curse. In point of fact, her response had been 'I'll have to give you more to think about in the future then, won't I? Just in case.'
With all this in mind, he decided it was time to turn things around on her, just to see how she reacted. "It's certainly not a hardship," he offered playfully.
Viper grinned widely. "About time you started flirting back," she offered wickedly. "I was beginning to think I'd have to climb into bed with you to get my point across."
"WAAAUGH!" Jackie gasped, leaping back to pat his heart as his brain all too eagerly conjured up such a mental image. "Viper! Think about what that sort of behavior is teaching Jade!"
"Hsi's got centuries of experience to teach her such things once she's old enough," Viper countered calmly. "If anything, it's evening the playing field."
Jackie groaned, burying his face in his hands. "Don't bring that-"
"Hang on a second," Viper interrupted as she pulled out her buzzing phone. Glancing at the caller ID, she happily answered. "Hey Jade, what's up? ...whatever you say, girl. Look, we're almost at the pagoda. Talk when we get home, bye." She hung up.
"...she called up just to say 'he's not my boyfriend'?" Jackie asked in surprise. "How did she even know?"
"We women have our ways," Viper replied mysteriously as she continued to climb, now deliberately lengthening her stride to show off the tone of her legs and...fanny pack.
Rolling his eyes, Jackie followed happily as he decided to simply enjoy the view.
Before long, they entered the crumbling Pagoda. Directly across from the ancient doors they slowly pushed open was a blue armor suit reminiscent in design of samurai armor, somewhat. It was a bright blue, with various symbols and designs etched into the metal in gold. Jackie's eyes went wide as he recognized the symbols. "That's the design the girls put on me to fight Shendu!" he gasped in shock. "But...there's more of them."
"Then it probably serves a similar purpose," Viper murmured as she slipped a small sphere out of her pocket and tossed it forward, letting it bounce until it reached the exact center of the room. It then popped open before spraying a faint green mist around the room until it coated the entire thing.
Jackie took a sniff, then covered his eyes as they began to water. "Onion powder?" he demanded in shock.
"A contact listed it as Shadow Kahn repellent," Viper explained, "so I mixed it in with my usual anti-Dark Magic mist ball, just in case Valmont had access to them and had been waiting for an opportune time to drop them on us...like in a confined space with structural integrity issues when we're improperly equipped for and not expecting such a conflict."
Jackie frowned as he walked over to collect the armor. "Good point. Let's get this out of here."
Jackie and Viper were able to get the Armor back to San Francisco without incident, setting it up in the shop until morning since everyone was asleep. Jade, the CMC, and Hsi Wu were the first to wake up, coming downstairs and staring at the armor. "So they actually managed to find it," Hsi murmured thoughtfully. "It should prove useful for dealing with any of my siblings who refuse to live peacefully in the new world..." He sighed sadly. "Which, unfortunately, is all but my little sister. As far as Bai is concerned, she has her kingdom with Valmont...but the others still want their kingdoms. This is not going to be an easy conflict."
"So what magic does it have?" Jade asked curiously, not wanting to focus on the maudlin thoughts. "I see the runes we put on Jackie for the Chi Armor spell..."
"It enhances the physical capabilities of the wearer to put them on an equal footing with the stronger Demons in terms of strength, speed, evasion, and durability," Hsi explained. "Once activated, that is."
"And how is it activated?" Scootaloo asked curiously.
"By wearing it in the presence of the Demon Sorcerers," Hsi continued. "Course, it has to judge you worthy first."
"And how does it do that?" Sweetie pressed.
"It was forged by Zhao Guo Lao, the Immortal that sealed my sister Po Kong," Hsi Wu replied. "He had a demon familiar who was a Demon of Battle, and when he saw the threat our Brotherhood presented to the world as it was, she volunteered to be bound into the armor to forever serve as shield and sword to those worthy of her Master's legacy." He smirked softly. "If she judges the wearer worthy, the armor contracts into a skin-tight suit that grants the abilities I mentioned. If she judges them unworthy, the armor eats them." He noticed the girls staring at him. "What? Is it that surprising that there are demons that eat human flesh? You've all studied mythology. There are gods that consumed human flesh."
"But...how could one be the familiar of one o' the Immortals?" Apple Bloom asked nervously.
"Before meeting him, she'd made her way as a Sin Eater," Hsi explained. "She'd excise diseased or cursed flesh from humans and devour it, giving some of the magic that provided her back to heal the damage. She would also eat criminals who'd been recently put to death, to purge the dark intent from the settlement. She became Zhao's familiar when they met and she challenged him to a battle. Winner decides the loser's fate. He won."
"So like what happened with us?" Jade asked, surprised.
"The arrangement we have is hardly new," Hsi confirmed. "Now what's for breakfast?"
"Not me!" Jade insisted quickly, causing several giggles.
"Not fer at least another seven years!" Apple Bloom joked, spawning more laughter.
"He's not my boyfriend!" Jade insisted angrily.
Level Dasher commissioned an image of the CMC with their new Cutie Marks from Katakiuchi4U over on Deviantart. 
Source.
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Methinks the lady doth protest too much!
At this rate "He's not my boyfriend" will show up more often than "Aiyah"
Jackie becomes more paranoid with each new chapter. Viper will have a hard time taming him.
Sure Jade. Just keep telling yourself that.
...really now, Jade. Methinks the lady doth protest too much! Heh...
So, they now have the armor. Will they need it for earth again, just mountain, or both? Also, will it actually last past one use this time?I mean, we only saw it for one episode in canon; I forget the reason, if there was one, but it would have been quite the boon to keep for future encounters! Then again, considering the girls have already given Jackie the weaker version before, they probably won't be keeping it long this time either.
I'm anxious to see how it will all unfold.
The innuendo is strong with this one
8279512
Oh, please Tatsurou, please do this!
She's right. Undercooked Chinese for breakfast is a terrible idea.
*dodges rotten fruits and vegetables*
Okay seriously we need a he's not my boyfriend counter now.
Void Runner!
Viper really tightly packed her fanny pack.
All I see Jackie is staring at a full moon.
That armors presence is so imposing it might as well eat your nerves alive.
I remember a story arc in Ranma 1/2. The armor supposedly judged worth, but actually it was "who does it fit?"
Ranma was too, uhm, "top heavy'' to wear it (Too tight some places -too loose others). It fit Akane perfectly. She got REALLY touchy about being congratulated for fitting in the armor.
s2.quickmeme.com/img/ec/ec90782245ef667a7d90ffe18735806adf64925cf735e11fa803eacd104c5556.jpg
8287844
I was thinking the same thing! Gotta get on that and start from its first appearance, VR!
8280061
question I just really something interesting because Applejack is now going to be half demon and the Crusaders apparently demons get hurt when they touch them how's that going to work I'm very curious when you do that complete crossover
8287933
The 'get hurt while touching' is directly related to the specific type of demon.
Skintight possessed/living suit of armor?
Viper Jealous Mode Activate?
8287840
Good, but can you doge the kitchen sink!!!
*throws a kitchen sink like a boomerang*
I would laugh my butt off if it turns out he's still a virgin. 900+ year old Evil demon sorcerer talks a big game but has no experience. Was always pursuing sciences other than biology to have fun and destroy his enemies.
Probably figured out that when both she and Hsi Wu sneeze together it means someone close to them is talking about them both, and since the usual suspects are all accounted for save you two… *shrugs*
So Hsi Wu will take Uncle's place of primary magic expert:exposition machine for the girls. I like this development, could lead to some interesting arguments between the two Magic experts.
Considering how quickly Jade has been learning Magic, and how old all this teasing will likely get to her, I wonder if:
1) She'll brew a grow up potion in the Mountain Demon arc like she did in the show.
2) The grow up potion will actually work this time, as opposed to turning Jade into a titan.
SO I am the only one that Thought of Kill la Kill when thinking of Jade maybe wearing the battle
armor then it seems?
8287933
As far as I understand, It's not actually the fact that they're demons that's causing that reaction. It's the fact that they are Bad Chi creatures. Their Chi is reacting violently to the Good Chi of the girls. Chances are that, in My Little PWNY, most demons that show up won't be affected because they have a different type of energy than Bad Chi. Applejack and Dante may get a tingling feeling from the Good Chi, but they themselves have no Bad Chi, so will not be harmed by it.
This is, of course, just a theory. I have been proven wrong before. A lot.
8288129
You are almost entirely accurate as far as the different energy types.
How old are the girls while they are making these sex jokes?
8288138
11-12. Early puberty for girls.
8288144
Hmmm...yeah, I guess that's how old I was when kids started making sex jokes. None of us understood what we were saying, but that didn't stop us. I guess Uncle gave a rather detailed sex ed lesson, or maybe it was Viper.
Good image, but there are not Hsi wu or Jade or Uncle or Jackie
8288129
Well we know Applejack will have no problem with the demon sorcerers, as long as they behave themselves. I wonder how she is going to react to what has happened to her sister though.
Ha-cha! Jackie has found the armor! One more thing - armor's abilities are sufficiently explained!
One more thing - Jade doth complains too much. Wink-wink-nudge-nudge.
She's Jade. That's all the explanation you should need.
Well, Jackie already has some enchantments/armor things that they can put on him...And it's a skintight suit...I mean, Viper could always use a bit more muscle and speed...Just sayin.
And can we please just timeskip seven years? I don't even care. Just let the demons conquer the world, it'll make Jade and Co. 'the resistance'. Even cooler.
Or...if she were aged up seven years via magic...would she technically be old enough for this stuff? Or do the magical laws only take into account age of the mind? I could see arguments for both mind and body age... Probably somewhere in the middle, leaning towards mind.
That's an admirably moral system for a human eating demon to operate under.
Jade needs to stop being such an easy target.
Onion powder as Shadow Khan repellant? It fits. Shadow Khan are the servants of the Oni Masked Generals and Tarakudo the Oni King. Oni are known to have a weakness to onion. So Viper plans on countering Oni Magic with Onion Magic
Nice chapter, especially Jackie starting to flirt back with Viper. I can just see Bai and Viper quietly gossiping about this during their next encounter and giving one another suggestions.
Tso Lan might find that if he makes the moon habitual without the need of a space suit and lets humans live there they'll gladly accept him as their king there. I know I'd jump at the chance to live on the moon safely.
Chapter One Hundred Thirty
"Aiyah!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 46
"One More Thing!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 80
That. Is. Awesome!
8287844
8287886
No.
8288536
My guess would be they have some measure of "Life Experience", since there are probably ways to artificially increase one's "Age of Mind", and Time Travel magic exists.
8288754
Bah. Welp, looks like that'll have to fall to me.
Because
itthey had to be done."Bad day"
Chapters One–One Hundred Thirty
Total Count: 32 (trust me)
“[He’s] not my boyfriend!”
Chapter One Hundred Twenty Seven
/
Chapter Count: 1
Total Count: 1
Chapter One Hundred Twenty Eight
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 1
Chapter One Hundred Twenty Nine
////\////\////\////\////\////\////\//
Chapter Count: 37
Total Count: 38
*Screw it, I'm counting them.*
Chapter One Hundred Thirty
/
//
Chapter Count: 2
Total Count: 40
That is so amusing
8287886
started one but got confused last chapter because I think Jade did say it offscreen 48 times
Now all we need is uncle to walk down take Applebloom to the kitchen sink and wash her muzzle with saddle soap for the comment
8288917
I've got one running now
, not counting the 37 off-screen ones. If people want me to include them, though, I can add them fairly easily.8288735
Add a "Bad Day" and "Not my boyfriend" counters.
Keep this challenging.
8289011
Got 'em both covered 6 comments down.
Poor Jade being continuously teased. Meanwhile, Jackie's finally coming to appreciate Viper's assets
The commissionned image is very nice.
8287787 Now imagine Jade quoting Cindy in Jimmy Neutron
Jade: Methinks you'd better button your yap before I button it for you!
So has Hsi revealed that some of his siblings have already escaped secretly or is he able to keep secrets unless Jade orders him?
8290196
He can keep secrets unless Apple Bloom asks him. He's linked to her through honesty.
8289115
Sweet! Well, what else needs counting? No clue but it will be fun to spot the small things.
8289518
Hsi Neutron has a nice ring.
8290750
Only other thing would've been "WAUUGH!" It was started a while ago, but stopped. I'm not going back to count those, though, because they could be spelled slightly differently each time and my cmd+F won't necessarily pick them up.
8287791
Let's find out
8288735
Start counting