• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 14,953 Views, 12,558 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou

Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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Magic Morals

Uncle stared down at the three fillies, a frown on his face and his arms crossed. The three fillies hung their heads, knowing that there was a rather large harangue coming. They knew they'd done wrong, and were about to face the consequences.

Uncle glowered down at them. "Uncle is most upset with you three," he stated firmly. "Not only were you experimenting with magic unsupervised, you used up many of my magical ingredients that are difficult to come by, and did damage to the shop in the process. That is many bad things, and you must face stern consequences for them."

He sighed to himself. "After your punishment from summoning Pachamama and everything that involved, Uncle thought you understood magic was not a toy, but a powerful force not to be trifled with. Uncle was apparently mistaken, so before we do anything else, Uncle will explain to you the ethics of magical practice." As all three fillies groaned, Uncle shook a finger at them. "None of that! Only reason Uncle let you do magic things without this before was because Uncle was under the impression you were magical creatures with the proper instincts to control your magic and not break the planet. Even after fillies start talking, Uncle thought instincts for safety stronger than instincts for mischief. Uncle is not happy to be proven mistaken."

As the fillies groaned, Uncle settled in to lecture. "First, magic is not something that fixes everything. It is part of the world, and not a toy. Magic can work around some rules that bind mundane reality, but magic is still a part of reality. There is only so much magic in the world, just like there is only so much energy and matter. Energy and matter can be converted back and forth, and magic and mundane can also be converted back and forth. However, much like converting energy and matter, magic and mundane conversions are fraught with peril and consequences. Any number of bad things can happen with inappropriate uses of magic. One wrong move in crafting spell...boom!" He threw his arms into the air to indicate the seriousness thereof, causing the trio of fillies to jump back, startled.

Pleased to see he still had their attention, he continued. "You three have great deal of magical energy inside you...but it is used up for every spell you craft. Use too much too fast, and chi will be burnt up, and then..." He let his voice hang, trusting in childish imagination to paint that picture far more plainly than any words of his could. As he watched the growing looks of horror on their faces, he knew he had accomplished his goals. Sitting back, he continued his lecture. "As such, you three are not to work magic without Uncle present to observe, in order to make sure none of you face such dire consequences."

All three fillies nodded readily. Seeing that they understood, Uncle moved on to the next point. "Next, Uncle's rare magical ingredients. They are rare for a reason, and not to be used incautiously. What if something serious happened, and Uncle needed those to make medicine? But now they are all gone, and Uncle could not make medicine. Careless use of magical ingredients can cost lives, not just because of bad spell, but because ingredients not available when needed! Uncle not want to scare fillies like this, but fillies must understand why Uncle make these rules." He watched as all three nodded, their heads hanging low. Feeling he was pushing a bit too hard, he reached out to give each a comforting mane stroke, pleased to see this managed to cheer them up.

"Uncle is mostly certain he does not need to explain why damage to shop is bad thing," he continued. "Shop is home. If damaged too much, Uncle lose home. Fillies want be homeless, no?" At the vigorous headshakes the three fillies returned, he continued, "Then no damage shop!" All three nodded vigorously.

"Very well," Uncle confirmed. "Uncle has given lecture, and will now dispense punishments. If lessons are learned, fillies will be given more freedoms over time, but Uncle must be strict for fillies' own good." Uncle leaned back in his chair, watching to be sure he had their full attention. He then held up his hand with one finger. "First, fillies are no longer allowed in Chi Lab without supervision, and forbidden from experimentation even with, save during actual lessons. Understand?" The three fillies nodded eagerly.

Uncle smiled, ready to continue. "One more thing! Fillies not allowed to watch TV unsupervised. It gives dangerous ideas, and Uncle cannot allow that." While he noticed the hanging heads, he knew he had to stay firm. Besides, he figured a family TV time might help them stay close. It was rather surprising how readily he was coming to think of things like that. "One more thing! Fillies not allowed to watch Magic School Bus. While teaches good lessons, gives bad ideas for experimentation." He pointed to three shoddily constructed pony shaped suits, built of fish bowls, old hose, cardboard boxes, and paper towel rolls sans the paper towels. "While desire to know more about human body is good thing, protective suits not work. Not fit fillies well, and no air supply. And not good idea to attempt to explore Uncle's digestive tract without telling Uncle! Might have also ended up taking tour of San Francisco sewers!"

All three fillies tilted their heads, trying to make sense of that. As they realized what he meant, all their eyes went wide. "EWWW!" they all squealed out, making disgusted faces.

"One more thing!" Uncle insisted. "No more Reading Rainbow for you. Uncle will handle teaching reading and writing." The three fillies nodded, but Sweetie Belle at least looked excited. "One more thing! First lesson of magic ethics is learning responsibility, and cleaning up own lessons. Understand?" All three nodded agreement.

"Good!" Uncle confirmed. He then pointed out the window to the giant canine in the backyard. "Then put Clifford back in his book!"

Author's Note:

Prompt submitted by Bugsydor.

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