• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 14,955 Views, 12,558 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou



Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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Devil Went Down to San Fran

Valmont growled under his breath as the truck drove down the road towards the beach where it had all culminated. He'd planned everything out carefully, meticulously, to ensure that the first big Talisman powered heist would go off without a hitch. ...where had it gone wrong?

His first step had been dividing up the Talismans. He had four Enforcers to wield them, which meant three each. However, the Talismans didn't all have equally versatile abilities, so he'd divided them up carefully. Four of the Talismans had 'Power Type' magics: Ox for strength, Dragon for fire blast, Pig for eye lasers, and Rooster for Levitation. Four Talismans had 'Defense Type' abilities: Horse for healing, Dog for immortality, Snake for invisibility, and Rabbit for Speed. The remaining four - Sheep of astral projection, Monkey for animal transformation, Rat for animation, and Tiger for Yin/Yang split - were more 'wild card' abilities.

He'd grouped the Talismans so each enforcer got one of each 'type', and balancing abilities based on what worked well together. Ox, Snake, and Sheep were given to Ratso, since he seemed best suited for invisible knock-out blows. Being the best strategist of the group, Finn got Rooster and Rabbit for free flight, and Monkey to give him a ranged ability. Chao received Pig, Dog, and Rat, since Valmont trusted he could be creative with that set. Hak Fu received the Dragon for a surprise energy blast from a palm strike, Horse since he insisted on close combat, and Tiger because he was the only one willing to take it. The last thing Valmont wanted to risk was one of his Enforcers splitting into light and dark halves like Chan did.

The setup certainly seemed to work, as initial reports showed that the Enforcers had blasted their way into the bank and made off with a good haul, brushing aside the Section 13 agents that tried to stop them. And then things had gone screwy.

Jackie Chan had shown up, that was to be expected. Jade and the fillies showed up, accompanied by cloud, plant beast, and a jetpack. Save for the last, this was also expected.

A squad of government agent battle mages showing up on the beach to back them up? Valmont felt like he'd fallen down the rabbit hole. Since when did the government use magic?

Thankfully, balancing the Talisman powers as he had gave his Enforcers a bit of an advantage, especially when Ratso and Finn found a trick where they crossed the streams from Sheep and Monkey so that the spirits expelled through astral projection were turned into animal spirits, and thus were blocked from syncing back with their original bodies until this was corrected...which happened on its own over time, but time was what they needed more of in that situation.

As the truck turned around the cliffside towards the beach, he signaled the driver to stop. Jackie stood at the edge of the cliff watching the tail end of the battle. Hak Fu was holding Audrey III back with fire from the Dragon Talisman, which also neutralized most of Apple Bloom's contributions. Finn was barely holding his own against Scootaloo and Jade. Ratso and Chao had Sweetie Belle on the ropes, and Captain Black was unconscious. If Jackie reentered the fray, the fight could swing the other way. That couldn't be allowed to happen.

Still, Valmont had to be careful. Chan was unaccountably lucky as far as survival, so trying to kill him at the clifftop was asking for trouble. Pushing him off could also be problematic, as if he charged and missed he'd go over instead. He needed to catch him off guard and trip him up, and do so in a way that maximized the chances of disabling Jackie while minimizing his opportunities to counter.

Much to his surprise, he managed to get right behind Chan, just out of arm's reach...and just in cane's reach. Just as Chan leaned over to watch Jade descend towards the ground from her jetpack running out of fuel, he spoke up. "Enjoying the view, Chan?"

As Jackie spun to face him, Valmont slipped his cane between the other man's feet, tripping him up. A jerk of the cane pulled the near leg up, overbalancing Chan and sending him tumbling off the cliff. The fall wasn't enough to kill him - Valmont disliked casual killing anyway, a true professional in his business should be able to avoid it...or at least avoid getting his own hands dirty - but with that tumble, it would be enough to knock him out if not injure him.

As he watched Chan fall, he felt his body rock back as something slammed into him, and the world seemed to fade...


Shendu growled to himself as he settled into Valmont's body, the spell binding him to it until his siblings revoked it. It galled him to be trapped in a human form, but at least this one had resources that would be useful. The sooner he was free - especially since the world now apparently accepted magic as a given - the better.

Still, he was pleased with what he'd seen as he made his way here. He'd long thought Valmont a buffoon for his bungling of the Talisman hunt, though much of that could be written off due to the involvement of Qi Lin. However, Valmont plainly knew what he was doing when it came to using resources and commanding troops. Now it was time to make use of those abilities.

Once in the truck again, he made his way down to the beach to confront the Enforcers, who looked to be considering finishing Chan and the others off. Shendu considered letting them, but the nearness of the Qi Lin - who were still fully active - made him reconsider. "Leave them!" he barked out, not turning to face the Enforcers. "We have more important things to do!" He was pleased to see they responded immediately, but frowned when they turned towards the bags of money. Were they really such idiots? "Finn! Use the Rooster to move all the money at once! The rest of you, keep those ponies off his back!"

"Oh, duh!" Finn groaned as he facepalmed. As a result of the directive, it wasn't long before the entire group - loot in tow - was on its way.

When the group reached the secondary hideout - the fish cannery - the Enforcers began to stash the money. Shendu turned to face them, interrupting the action. "Sit!" he ordered them intensely. "We will speak further later. For now, silence!"

The Enforcers immediately sat, Ratso even going so far to cover his mouth with both hands to ensure silence. Rolling his borrowed eyes, Shendu made his way to a nearby mirror. Just in time, as Valmont regained control of his body.


Valmont groaned, rubbing his head as he came back to himself. "Wha...what happened?" he asked no one in particular. "How did we get-"

"Question later, Valmont," Shendu hissed from the mirror, the demon's face superimposed on Valmont's own. "For now, it appears we have entered a new form of partnership, whether you like it or not."

Valmont frowned, crossing his arms. "I'm listening," he growled out. He'd hoped he was rid of the dragon after the treasure disappeared. He was apparently mistaken there.

"I have possessed your body," Shendu stated bluntly. "Due to the actions of my siblings, the possession cannot be revoked save by their hands. Help me to free them from their imprisonment, and you will be free of me and be rewarded richly from their own treasuries. Refuse or fail, and you're stuck with me until you die. Consider the Talismans your 'down payment' on this job."

Valmont smirked slightly. "At least you're being fully up front, this time. And you're right, I don't have a choice here." Sighing, he turned back to his men. "It seems an old client has a new job for us..."

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