• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 14,952 Views, 12,558 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou

Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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The Failed Hunt

Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo looked up from working on their homework as Jackie and Jade staggered into the living area of Uncle's shop, looking rather exhausted from their trip to the jungle in search of the Snake Talisman. "So, how did it go?" Sweetie Belle asked sweetly as she fetched a cup of tea for Jackie and a juice box for Jade.

"It was so awesome!" Jade squealed out happily but tiredly. "We went searching through the jungle and into a deep cave, found a secret temple, and Jackie climbed all the way to the top to retrieve the Talisman, and then he had to fight a giant snake!"

"So...awesome!" Scootaloo squealed out.

"So where's the rock?" Apple Bloom asked eagerly.

"We don't have it," Jackie groaned out as he sank into his chair. "A phony archaeologist in it for the profit and TV show by the name of Wesley Rank managed to get it out of my pocket while we were running from the giant snake and the Dark Hand."

"Oh, the guy from 'Just the Artifacts'?" Sweetie Belle asked as she set down the tray of drinks and snacks for the adventurers. "Uncle hates that guy. Says he gives historians and archaeologists a bad name."

"I'll say," Jade grumbled irritably. "Not only did he steal the Talisman, he erased an ancient cave drawing so it could only be seen on his show! We had to sneak into his trailer to get the directions we needed to find the temple." She smiled as she took a sip of her juice. "Admittedly, that was kind of fun."

"Jade..." Jackie cautioned as he sipped his tea, plainly not liking the idea of Jade enjoying breaking and entering.

"I know, I know..." Jade responded, waving it off. "It would have been a lot easier if you three came along, though. How come you didn't?"

"Exactly how much help would I be?" Scootaloo asked. "In amongst all those trees, there aren't enough steady air currents for Cumulo to ride, or me to manipulate. And I wouldn't have been able to follow you from above the treetops."

"And I'd have gotten all manner of creepy crawlies in my mane!" Sweetie Belle whined. "And some of those creatures are big enough to eat me in one bite!"

"Well...okay," Jade admitted, accepting Scootaloo's answer as valid and ignoring Sweetie's. "What about you, Apple Bloom? I'd have thought you'd love the jungle!"

"Too hot and humid for Audrey," Apple Bloom pointed out, gesturing to the plant she still sat on. "He's no tropical or succulent. Without him, I'd have to be walking. Can ya imagine what my magic runnin' amok woulda done to the jungle?" She shuddered. "I got enough o' that in Mexico when I kept getting cacti up my tail!"

Jackie chuckled softly. "Yes. Until you can control your magic so you can prevent plants from sprouting randomly, perhaps it would be best if you did not go anywhere without Audrey."

Jade sighed fitfully. "But it's not nearly as much fun without them..." she grumbled under her breath.

"We'll go with on the next one," Scootaloo spoke up. "Promise."

"Well, the new episode of 'Just the Artifacts' should be on soon," Sweetie Belle pointed out. "Maybe we can use that to find out where Rank took the Talisman. If not, we can always sic Captain Black on him."

"I suppose so," Jackie murmured softly as the group gathered around the sofa to watch the TV.

The show soon began, the musical number and title screen coming up, before showing Rank himself. "Welcome. I'm Wesley Rank and you're watching 'Just the Artifacts' at the legendary once-lost Temple of Culibra Gigante. I have just braved a treacherous climb to the temple's harrowing heights to bring you this..." He lifted the Snake Talisman into view. "The Snake Talisman."

"No!" Jade perked her eyes up as she saw herself punching Rank in the gut.

"I'm on TV!" Jade gasped out as she watched.

"Rank didn't edit that out?" Jackie asked in surprise as the fillies burst into giggles.

"Liar liar liar!" Jade on the TV continued to shout as Rank pushed her off the shot.

"Ow, that hurt," Rank complained, rubbing his belly.

The shot then shifted, showing Rank running in terror from something before locking on his screaming face. That shot then shifted to the corner of the screen as the slightly bulky cameraman chuckled, now dressed in his own version of Rank's outfit. "Welcome to a special edition of 'Just the Artifacts'! Wesley Rank may not know how to treat little girls, but he sure knows how to scream like one." He let out another laugh as the screen focused on him. "I'm Dino Stephenson, and I'll be your new guide."

Jade joined the fillies in laughing. "Go camera guy."

"Look!" Jackie called out as the screen showed the Snake Talisman.

"You'll also get the full scoop on how we recovered this rare Snake Talisman from the local pawn shop Rank sold it to," Dino continued. "We, of course, donated the artifact to the New York Museum."

"Well, we know where it is now," Scootaloo spoke up.

Jackie sighed in relief as he turned off the TV and stood up. "After what we went through, getting the Talisman back from the museum should be a snap."

"We're off to the jungle!" Jade crowed happily.

"Eh?" Jackie asked, confused.

"New York," Jade explained. "The concrete jungle."

"Audrey should do fine there," Apple Bloom pointed out.

"And the thermals in a big city like that..." Scootaloo purred eagerly.

"And so many places to shop!" Sweetie Belle crowed happily. "I'm going to get so many souvenirs!"

Jackie sighed fitfully. "Aiyah," he moaned softly. "Bad day..."

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