• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 14,952 Views, 12,558 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou

Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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Talking Tykes

With the first words uttered by the fillies, Uncle's world turned upside down all over again. Up till that point, Uncle had been able to simply treat the three as unusually intelligent animals and magical creatures, neither of which was even slightly out of his experience. While it rubbed him the wrong way to consider them that way, Jackie had hit the nail on the head when he'd asked if Uncle had gotten a pet. It wasn't the first time he'd had one - even a magical one - and he knew how to handle it. He still remembered his pet salamander fondly...and, of course, all his fellow chi wizard students whom he'd managed to prove 'liars' beyond a shadow of a doubt, thanks to little Fireball. Those had been good times. He idly wondered if that one student who'd been expelled after Fireball's prank had exposed his studies of dark magic would ever forgive him, and if they'd cross paths again. What was his name again? Uncle mused as his thoughts wandered. Dao something or other? Eh, old dark wizard student not important. Talking fillies important.

But now with the fillies talking, even if it was baby talk and babbling with only the occasional clear word coming through, he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were more than just highly intelligent magical creatures. They were infants of another sapient species. They were...children.

What is Uncle to do? Uncle thought worriedly as Sweetie Belle stared up at him from his lap, pointing at pictures in an antique catalog he was perusing for business, babbling her nonsense sounds about each picture, sounds he was now able to discern the beginnings of words in. Uncle has no experience with children! Should Uncle get self help books on raising children, and do research? Petting Sweetie lightly on the head, he watched as she giggled happily and nuzzled into his chest. No! Books are on raising human children! Fillies not humans! ...maybe books on raising horses? He shook his head in frustration. No! Not horses, ponies! One more thing, horses in books not talk! No book on properly raising Mr. Ed!

Uncle sighed to himself. "Uncle not know what to do with fillies," he groaned. "How is Uncle supposed to raise ponies properly? Does Sweetie have any ideas?"

Sweetie Belle tapped her chin for a bit, as though giving it serious thought. "Unca!" she stated finally, hugging him.

Uncle sighed. "Be one's self is not good parenting advice. Uncle is decade at most away from being crotchety old man. Need someone who can handle kids, so Uncle can learn how to handle fillies."

"Shya-ki?" Apple Bloom called out as she wandered around the antique shop, sticking her head into urns, vases, and cupboards as though looking for someone. "Shya-ki?"

Uncle stared at Apple Bloom for a time, working his mouth as he tried to sound out what she was saying. "Shya-ki...Jya-ki...Jackie?"

"Shya-ki?" Apple Bloom asked hopefully, looking up and turning her head around, searching.

Uncle stroked his chin. "Jackie know children? Hmm...doubtful...but Uncle has no one else to ask." He turned to reach for the phone, only for the front door of the shop to open to a familiar figure. "Jackie!" he called out happily.

"Hello, Uncle," Jackie replied happily, setting his bags down and stretching.

"Shya-ki!" Apple Bloom called out happily, bouncing eagerly around the young man to get his attention.

Chuckling, Jackie knelt down and pet her. "Hello, Apple Bloom," he replied warmly. "I am happy to see you, too."

Uncle blinked in shock, wondering if perhaps Jackie had been over-exposed to the effects of the Pendants of Normalcy, as he'd come to think of them.

Moments later, Jackie let out a startled, "WAGH!" as he fell backwards, patting his chest rapidly as he stared at Apple Bloom. "Uncle! She talked!"

"Waugh!" Apple Bloom called out as she tumbled backwards, only to giggle happily. "Aiyah!"

Uncle nodded slowly. "Yes, fillies are talking now," Uncle confirmed. "Uncle needs Jackie's help! Uncle has no idea how to handle children!"

Jackie let out a startled scoffing cough. "And I do?" he demanded angrily. "I'm as lost as you!" Groaning, he lowered his head into his hands.

Before he could speak, Scootaloo zoomed in on her cloud, zipping around his head in circles and calling out, "Bah kay bah kay bah kay bah kay!"

Jackie blinked, staring at her in confusion. "Umm...?"

"Uncle thinks she lacks teeth to make 'd' sound," Uncle explained. "Also, Uncle thinks she is trying to show she likes you."

"Or at least likes watching me freak out," Jackie mumbled in reply. He attempted to glare at Scootaloo as she came to a halt in front of him, bundled up in her cloud and smiling up at him. He failed miserably. "Aww...I just can't stay mad at that face..." Reaching out, he stroked her mane softly.

"Shya-ki!" Apple Bloom called out demandingly, nudging his knee with her head until he started petting her as well.

"So...does Jackie have any advice for Uncle on raising talking magic pony children?" Uncle asked. "Other than not be pushover like Jackie?"

Jackie flinched. "Uncle! I am not a pushover-WAH!" He fell backwards as Apple Bloom lunged for his chest, knocking him onto his back as she hugged him. "You are not helping my case," he chided her, getting a blown raspberry and a tighter hug in response. Sighing, he rubbed his head. "Well...they behave for you, so...just keep doing what you're doing? And...throw in more lessons?"

"Hmm..." Uncle stroked his chin and Sweetie's mane in thought. "Uncle has idea. Uncle will do as Jackie suggests, but also teach reading and writing by finger reading to fillies. One more thing! Jackie will help Uncle teach ponies martial arts to teach discipline and magic control."

Jackie looked at the three fillies for a time. "...I think that might be difficult," he murmured. "I don't know of any martial arts for four legged creatures-ow!"

Uncle pulled his two fingers back from Jackie's forehead. "Jackie will improvise!" Uncle insisted as the fillies giggled.

Jackie sighed, laying back in what he expected to be his last relaxed moment of peace for a while. "...bad day..."

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