Three More Things!

by Tatsurou

Talking Tykes

With the first words uttered by the fillies, Uncle's world turned upside down all over again. Up till that point, Uncle had been able to simply treat the three as unusually intelligent animals and magical creatures, neither of which was even slightly out of his experience. While it rubbed him the wrong way to consider them that way, Jackie had hit the nail on the head when he'd asked if Uncle had gotten a pet. It wasn't the first time he'd had one - even a magical one - and he knew how to handle it. He still remembered his pet salamander fondly...and, of course, all his fellow chi wizard students whom he'd managed to prove 'liars' beyond a shadow of a doubt, thanks to little Fireball. Those had been good times. He idly wondered if that one student who'd been expelled after Fireball's prank had exposed his studies of dark magic would ever forgive him, and if they'd cross paths again. What was his name again? Uncle mused as his thoughts wandered. Dao something or other? Eh, old dark wizard student not important. Talking fillies important.

But now with the fillies talking, even if it was baby talk and babbling with only the occasional clear word coming through, he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were more than just highly intelligent magical creatures. They were infants of another sapient species. They were...children.

What is Uncle to do? Uncle thought worriedly as Sweetie Belle stared up at him from his lap, pointing at pictures in an antique catalog he was perusing for business, babbling her nonsense sounds about each picture, sounds he was now able to discern the beginnings of words in. Uncle has no experience with children! Should Uncle get self help books on raising children, and do research? Petting Sweetie lightly on the head, he watched as she giggled happily and nuzzled into his chest. No! Books are on raising human children! Fillies not humans! ...maybe books on raising horses? He shook his head in frustration. No! Not horses, ponies! One more thing, horses in books not talk! No book on properly raising Mr. Ed!

Uncle sighed to himself. "Uncle not know what to do with fillies," he groaned. "How is Uncle supposed to raise ponies properly? Does Sweetie have any ideas?"

Sweetie Belle tapped her chin for a bit, as though giving it serious thought. "Unca!" she stated finally, hugging him.

Uncle sighed. "Be one's self is not good parenting advice. Uncle is decade at most away from being crotchety old man. Need someone who can handle kids, so Uncle can learn how to handle fillies."

"Shya-ki?" Apple Bloom called out as she wandered around the antique shop, sticking her head into urns, vases, and cupboards as though looking for someone. "Shya-ki?"

Uncle stared at Apple Bloom for a time, working his mouth as he tried to sound out what she was saying. "Shya-ki...Jya-ki...Jackie?"

"Shya-ki?" Apple Bloom asked hopefully, looking up and turning her head around, searching.

Uncle stroked his chin. "Jackie know children? Hmm...doubtful...but Uncle has no one else to ask." He turned to reach for the phone, only for the front door of the shop to open to a familiar figure. "Jackie!" he called out happily.

"Hello, Uncle," Jackie replied happily, setting his bags down and stretching.

"Shya-ki!" Apple Bloom called out happily, bouncing eagerly around the young man to get his attention.

Chuckling, Jackie knelt down and pet her. "Hello, Apple Bloom," he replied warmly. "I am happy to see you, too."

Uncle blinked in shock, wondering if perhaps Jackie had been over-exposed to the effects of the Pendants of Normalcy, as he'd come to think of them.

Moments later, Jackie let out a startled, "WAGH!" as he fell backwards, patting his chest rapidly as he stared at Apple Bloom. "Uncle! She talked!"

"Waugh!" Apple Bloom called out as she tumbled backwards, only to giggle happily. "Aiyah!"

Uncle nodded slowly. "Yes, fillies are talking now," Uncle confirmed. "Uncle needs Jackie's help! Uncle has no idea how to handle children!"

Jackie let out a startled scoffing cough. "And I do?" he demanded angrily. "I'm as lost as you!" Groaning, he lowered his head into his hands.

Before he could speak, Scootaloo zoomed in on her cloud, zipping around his head in circles and calling out, "Bah kay bah kay bah kay bah kay!"

Jackie blinked, staring at her in confusion. "Umm...?"

"Uncle thinks she lacks teeth to make 'd' sound," Uncle explained. "Also, Uncle thinks she is trying to show she likes you."

"Or at least likes watching me freak out," Jackie mumbled in reply. He attempted to glare at Scootaloo as she came to a halt in front of him, bundled up in her cloud and smiling up at him. He failed miserably. "Aww...I just can't stay mad at that face..." Reaching out, he stroked her mane softly.

"Shya-ki!" Apple Bloom called out demandingly, nudging his knee with her head until he started petting her as well.

"So...does Jackie have any advice for Uncle on raising talking magic pony children?" Uncle asked. "Other than not be pushover like Jackie?"

Jackie flinched. "Uncle! I am not a pushover-WAH!" He fell backwards as Apple Bloom lunged for his chest, knocking him onto his back as she hugged him. "You are not helping my case," he chided her, getting a blown raspberry and a tighter hug in response. Sighing, he rubbed his head. "Well...they behave for you, so...just keep doing what you're doing? And...throw in more lessons?"

"Hmm..." Uncle stroked his chin and Sweetie's mane in thought. "Uncle has idea. Uncle will do as Jackie suggests, but also teach reading and writing by finger reading to fillies. One more thing! Jackie will help Uncle teach ponies martial arts to teach discipline and magic control."

Jackie looked at the three fillies for a time. "...I think that might be difficult," he murmured. "I don't know of any martial arts for four legged creatures-ow!"

Uncle pulled his two fingers back from Jackie's forehead. "Jackie will improvise!" Uncle insisted as the fillies giggled.

Jackie sighed, laying back in what he expected to be his last relaxed moment of peace for a while. "...bad day..."

Comments

[PrincessLenaLadyKittuna]

Someone needs to do a counter for Jackie saying "bad day". Other than that keep up the good work Tats.

[goldfencer]

7202665 I think someone's already doing that.

[StarzGecko]

Oh can I forget that the CMC are going to be learn martial arts! That's going to be fun!

[KaijinZero]

Uncle sighed. "Be one's self is not good parenting advice. Uncle is decade at most away from being crotchety old man. Need someone who can handle kids, so Uncle can learn how to handle fillies."

...oh great. my bullometer is broken. now i have to go order a new one.

[Isumo1489]

7202665

Dude, I'm the guy doing just that. Speaking of:

Bad Day Counter

Chapter Count: 1

Total Story: 9

And so it continues...I cannot WAIT to see how this winds up going. Well done on another chapter, and looking forward to more!

[goldfencer]

7202704 Are we counting Scootaloo's "Bah kay?" Or should the CMC get their own separate counters for all catchphrases?

[badninja]

PBS would be great help Uncle! Mr. Rogers would be a great teacher until you figure out which way you plan on raising the CMC.

[HB_DS2013]

Yep. I can see it now...

[The Rogue Wolf]

"Waugh!" Apple Bloom called out as she tumbled backwards, only to giggle happily. "Aiyah!"

Great, now we just need one of them to imitate Jackie's "Bad day" and my heart will explode in my chest-

Before he could speak, Scootaloo zoomed in on her cloud, zipping around his head in circles and calling out, "Bah kay bah kay bah kay bah kay!"

splat

...I wonder if I can get off from work tomorrow if I tell them that tiny talking baby ponies made my heart explode....

[RanmaChaos]

You didn't draw out the word "Research" the way Uncle does.

Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.

[Dirty Bit]

He idly wondered if that one student who'd been expelled after Fireball's prank had exposed his studies of dark magic would ever forgive him, and if they'd cross paths again. What was his name again? Uncle mused as his thoughts wandered. Dao something or other? Eh, old dark wizard student not important. Talking fillies important.

Oh, that foreshadowing, though...

The CMC were adorable as ever, and now it's gonna be awesome viewing them as arcane monks in training

7202734 Worth a shot

[WanderingPony]

7202692

And with more success than they did in the show, one hopes.

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/0a/45/a1/0a45a1176e58d45bae43e5a81cc72724.jpg

[the other sans]

I can really... picture Uncle easily teaching Sweetie.

Maybe Apple Bloom is just... jumping at the opportunity to be with Jackie.

At least Scootaloo is keeping her... cumulus thoughts together.

At least Apple Bloom is... heading in the direction of antiques.

[Noctus Umbra]

7202732

I grew up watching his show. It was a high point in my elementary days.

[shinikage]

I love this fic, but cant help complaining about how short each chapter is

[Isumo1489]

7202714

Hmmm, fair point:

CMC Bad Day Counter:

Chapter: 4

Story total: 4

Total Bad Day Counter:

Chapter: 5

Story Total: 14

[Philosophysics]

Check out Foal of the Forest for good fighting stles. Moguera does a great job.

[MythrilMoth]

One more thing, horses in books not talk! No book on properly raising Mr. Ed!

Aiyah! Uncle's name not Wilbur!

Uncle is decade at most away from being crotchety old man.

Away from. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

[shinigamisparda]

He idly wondered if that one student who'd been expelled after Fireball's prank had exposed his studies of dark magic would ever forgive him, and if they'd cross paths again. What was his name again? Uncle mused as his thoughts wandered. Dao something or other?

Oh, so more backstory between those two, huh?

No! Not horses, ponies! One more thing, horses in books not talk! No book on properly raising Mr. Ed!

Ha! Nice to see Uncle has some good taste in old TV.

[EchoWing]

Raising children very difficult, but Uncle and Jackie are very smart! They will grow into it!

[Starcat5]

7202823
Same here. Have 35 facts about the man:

Turns out that he was never in the military or had sleeve tattoos. How do these rumors get started, anyway?
(In other words, I had a long reply written out, decided to check my sources, and found out everything I had written was completely wrong. Don't you just hate it when that happens?)

[Ryouga1100]

7202837 I've found that the only way to really deal with that is to wait a week or three between each time you come back. Thanks to Tat's update schedule, you should have 2 or three chapters lined up for a nice little block of reading.

Of course, that's really hard to do since most of his stories are insanely good, cute, or a gut shot to the feels. Or all three at once.

[Jake Witt]

I bet Applebloom will be superior in the lessons.

EDIT: I just realized something. The CMC finally got their cutie marks, but then they arrive in Jackie's world without 'em.
Think about having your favorite icecream. You only took one lick before someone slapped it out of your hands and onto the pavement. Multiply that by 20 and you get how much that sucks.

[Greatazuredragon]

Eh, old dark wizard student not important. Talking fillies important.

Indeed.

"Or at least likes watching me freak out," Jackie mumbled in reply.

In her defense, don't we all?

[Snow]

AIYAAAA counter is broken due to adorables. We need one capable of standing up to the Crusaders level of foalhood cute.

Also, small note just to keep in mind: Ponies can stand and move on their hind legs, at least for awhile. I mean hay, just look at Octavia. Applebloom's 'karate' stuff also favored bipedal movements here and there.

So y'know. They can all stand up in their adorableness and then suddenly kick ass while the enemy is either d'awwwwing or laughing.

... Also still have money riding on Tohru just taking one look at them and refusing to attack XD

[The Bricklayer]

Yep, once again the cuteness has been doubled! And once again we get a bad day from Jackie! What more could you ask for in this chapter?

[Void Runner]

Chapter 9:
"Aiyah!"

"Waugh!" Apple Bloom called out as she tumbled backwards, only to giggle happily. "Aiyah!"

\
Chapter Count: 1
Total Count: 11

"One More Thing!"

One more thing, horses in books not talk! No book on properly raising Mr. Ed!

\

One more thing! Jackie will help Uncle teach ponies martial arts to teach discipline and magic control."

\\
Chapter Count: 2
Total Count: 24

[OmegaRuby]

They don't need martial arts they just need to look at someone with the most saddest face ever(or happy it depends)and boom instant pony diabeetus bomb

[cyberlord4444]

7202823 Nothing personal, but if you want to actually teach them something, you can do worse than Bill Nye and Miss Frizzle.

[ArchAngelGundam]

Ah, another dose of cuteness overload. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.

[Void Runner]

7203183
I actually love it when that happens. It means I learned something about the world I didn't know before.

[Liqwidice]

Young nonhumans being taught martial arts. TMNT flashback.

[NPP6]

"Jackie will improvise!"

Offhand, does he ever do anything else?

[ViktornovaMk2]

Can't wait to see what happens the first time Valmont tells Tohru to attack the fillies. Reminds me of the Three Ninjas. "Alright guys. Lets light this fat dude up."

[Kenshinryuu]

adorable chapter. I can't wait to see how the Crusaders take to martial arts. I do think they should each pick up a trademark move from anime/games/tv like Kamehameha, Hadouken, Shoryuken, or Rider Kick.

[Pinklestia]

Chinese martial arts based in animals yes?

So watch animals to reinvent the styles to use hooves!

[Billy G Gruff]

We've seen what Earth Ponies are like when they train in martial arts

It'll be interesting to see how strong Applebloom gets.

[Noctus Umbra]

7203903 True. But how does Bill explain Sweetie Belle's strange happenstances? Or Scoot's cloud?

[XxBallistamonXx]

Bad Day counter

Chapter : 1

Total : 9

[Flame Heart]

7203599 7202853
I'm honestly pretty curious on how high the numbers are going to be for your guy's counters when the story is finished because if I remember the show all of those things were said quite often and I'm pretty sure this goes through the show maybe a little bit afterwards so this is going to be interesting. everybody place your bets now

[Belnazarth]

lol! And there be the freak out from Jackie I was expecting........And now I can't wait to see him try to teach those three martial arts...Oh god I just realized that uncle is basically gonna teach the three BIGGEST troublemakers of Ponyville how to open up a can of whoops ass while using powerful chi magic......Gawd I feel sorry for the mane six when they return

[PrismStrike]

wonderful absolutely wonderful

[treegrowth]

Eyup, this is a Jackie Chan crossover alright.

[ChaosFerret]

7203903 I'd also recommend against The Magic School Bus...

Magic talking ponies might try to emulate....

Although that would be very entertaining.

[Pancakes0708]

7203903 Aaaaahhhhhhh!
YES! All my childhood memories!
It's great to find people who still think of these two. In fact, the whole comments section on most of Tatsurou's stories are memory and creativity gold mines! Everyone is so happy and civil here

[Ganondorf8]

Nice little nod to "The Mr. Ed Show" you included. It certainly brought a smile to my face.

[Night_Moon60606]

7206128 the mane 6? what about poor Shindu?

[Blaze Song]

7210619

M-magic School Bus??

*shudders* one of the episodes gave me bad nightmares.

And a Pony being raised by Miss Frizzle??, huh.... that actually sounds interesting, and I don't know why

[Bahamut Omega]

7294823 Actually, that sounds like something that could create Pinkie Pie.

[PegaVincent]

WUUAAHHG!! Counter
-------------------------------------------------

Moments later, Jackie let out a startled, "WAGH!" as he fell backwards, patting his chest rapidly as he stared at Apple Bloom. "Uncle! She talked!"

|

Jackie flinched. "Uncle! I am not a pushover-WAH!" He fell backwards as Apple Bloom lunged for his chest, knocking him onto his back as she hugged him.

||
-------------------------------------------------
Chapter: 2
Total: 6