• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 14,955 Views, 12,558 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou



Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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Legal Loopholes

Captain Black stared back and forth between the newspaper, his own files, and the four girls as they sat in the hotel room. "Well girls, I have good news and bad news." He frowned, interlacing his fingers and bringing them up under his chin. "Which do you want to hear first?"

"Good news," Sweetie Belle offered hopefully from on the bed. Scootaloo was sitting on her cloud near the ceiling, Apple Bloom on Audrey III nearby, and Jade in the chair across from Captain Black. "We could really use some."

"Well, the good news is that the police have no actual evidence against Jackie," Captain Black explained. "He was found outside the museum when the alarms went off, dressed all in black with an empty bag, and there were missing artifacts in the museum, including two he had been discussing with the curator earlier that day. Pure circumstantial. As long as he has the sense to keep his mouth shut, he won't even go to trial."

"Hope the bad news is better," Apple Bloom grumbled. "Jackie's a lot o' things, but tight lipped ain't one o' them."

Captain Black couldn't help but chuckle. Jackie was pretty tough and good at keeping his own council, but he himself doubted Jackie's ability to hold up under an interrogation, even one by normal police. He panicked a little too easily. "The bad news is that I'm not in a position here to take any action on Jackie's behalf. If I try to claim he's one of my agents, there will be all sorts of inquiry as to what he was doing there, and anything less and we won't be able to get him out. So unless we can recover the Pink Puma and Snake Talisman, we're stuck until things process out...and even then, we don't know where the Snake Talisman is."

The four girls glanced at each other thoughtfully, and Captain Black steeled himself. He could tell they were plotting something, and he was certain whatever it was, he would walk away from it with a migraine, a successful mission, or both. Eventually, Jade spoke up. "What if you were able to bring in the Pink Puma?" she asked curiously. "Could you say he was working for you on a sting operation for the Dark Hand, and the operation got blown when Viper showed up?"

"Yeah!" Scootaloo called out. "You could say he got away with the Pink Puma which he handed off to you for safekeeping before he went after Viper, only to get caught by the police at the worst time."

Captain Black chuckled. "As far as that goes, that could work," he replied readily. "You've got good heads on your shoulders, kids. Keep thinking." He ruffled their hair playfully. "Still, that assumes I had the Pink Puma, and that still leaves the Snake Talisman unaccounted for. Not to mention throwing the weight of Section 13 around like that could have consequences, and if we don't recover what the Dark Hand's after, I won't have anything to show for it."

"So..." Sweetie Belle began cautiously. "So if we were able to get you the Pink Puma and the Snake Talisman, then you could get Jackie out without this even being on his record?"

"Easily," Captain Black confirmed. "Not that we have them..." He narrowed his eyes as he noticed the conspiratorial glances. "Or do we?"

"We know exactly where Viper is right now," Apple Bloom spoke up readily. "And we can locate her at any time."

"How?" Captain Black demanded insistently.

"When the Snake Talisman was first retrieved, Audrey left a small thorn on it," Apple Bloom explained. "When Viper first handled the Talisman, that thorn pricked her skin, leaving a tiny bit o' non-harmful venom in her veins. It lets him track her anywhere."

"Useful," Captain Black replied calmly, though inwardly he was very impressed. Tracking criminals through their loot was one of the most difficult aspects of dealing with crime. Every technological method of tracking could be defeated, sometimes with incredibly simple things, making it sometimes an effort in futility. But a biological method of tracking that could be hidden inside the criminal just from them handling their ill-gotten gains... "I don't suppose Audrey III might be sporing or anything of the like soon? Or if you might have a way to make more of him as controlled as he is?"

Apple Bloom shook her head. "Ah'm not even entirely certain how ah made him so well behaved in the first place."

"Pity," Captain Black mused. "Still, it's good you know exactly where she is. We can make a plan-"

"Actually..." Jade interrupted, "we've already got a plan on how to handle this. And it would probably be best if it were just us involved. The less Viper learns about what Jackie is actually involved in, the better, right?"

Captain Black grumbled under his breath, but couldn't deny Jade's logic. "I don't feel right about putting you kids in danger like that..." he began, pausing when this resulted in all four giggling. "What?"

Smiling, Apple Bloom gestured to Audrey III, who smirked smugly at him.

"You'll be bringing him along?" he asked, surprised. At the nods all around, he sighed. "Well, that's your safety taken care of, but can you try and keep things as discreet as possible?"

"No promises!" Scootaloo called out jokingly, laughing.

"Scootaloo!" Sweetie Belle snapped, glaring her into a semblance of good behavior. She turned back to the Captain. "I...can't promise we won't make a mess, but we'll do our best to keep the collateral damage to a minimum. Is that okay?"

Captain Black groaned softly. "I suppose that's the best I can hope for," he mused. "Anything I can do to help?"

"Actually..." Jade began, her voice somewhat wicked.

"Yes?" Captain Black asked curiously.

"Can you direct us to Skid Row?" Sweetie Belle asked innocently. "And possibly ensure it's empty around noon?"

"The Thanksgiving Day Parade is today," Captain Black pointed out. "It's not going to be anywhere near there, so I seriously doubt anyone will be there. Why?"

Audrey III began to laugh wickedly.

"...oh god..." Captain Black murmured, torn between horror and amusement as he realized what the girls must have planned.

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