• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 14,953 Views, 12,558 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou



Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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Santa Claus is Coming To Town

Hsi Wu dropped heavily to the snow, spreading his wings as Jackie, Uncle, Viper, and El Toro landed beside and around him. Daolong Wong spun in anger as they arrived. "What? How did you breach my barrier?" he demanded in shock.

"I know a few things about barriers myself," Hsi Wu growled as he braced himself for battle. Jackie drew Balance Breaker, Viper pulled out an extending baton, and Uncle drew a petrified lizard from his jacket.

"And I know a few things about demons," Daolong Wong snarled back as he donned the demon skull helmet. "Ya Gaa Mee-" The helm and his staff sparked painfully. "What?"

"Did you really think the physical change was purely aesthetic?" Hsi Wu chuckled darkly as runes appeared all over his chest. "Shaped for protections against anyone using my magic against my will..." He held up the hand where the Harmony Seal glowed. "With only one exception."

Daolong Wong winced as he steadied himself. "You don't really think that was the only ace I had to play, did you?" he snarled as he lifted his staff. Several snowmen sitting nearby twisted and warped until they became snow monsters, charging at the group.

"It is if that's the best you can do," Hsi Wu snapped as he flared his wings and thrust with his magic, causing all the snow within 20 feet of him - including the snowmen - to evaporate before taking shape as an ice lance that he gripped with both hands. "Sky commands Weather, fool!"

"But not the Earth!" Daolong Wong countered as the ground erupted into golems. "And this is my pocket space! Do you think you can stand against me in my own realm?"

"For long enough!" Uncle called out as he leapt over the golems to deal with Daolong Wong directly as they began to trade spells.

Jackie, Viper, and El Toro charged in to draw the golems' attention while Hsi Wu proceeded to destroy them one by one with powerful strikes aimed at weak points in the spell weave. Balance Breaker was the only other weapon available that could take them down and keep them down, as those shattered by the others simply reformed. Uncle's battle with Wong, however, proved to be much more even as Uncle slowly began to push Wong back against Santa's house.

As they stood upon the doorstep, Uncle holding his glowing lizard against Wong's staff, he suddenly glanced up. "Look!" he called out. "Misteltoe!"

"WAAAUGH!" Daolong Wong screamed out as he leapt back.

Uncle promptly blasted the snow on the roof, causing it to fall and pile up atop Wong. Hsi Wu launched his spell, turning the snow to ice. "That won't hold him for long!" he called out warningly.

"We just need to hold him until-" Jackie began.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS BARRIER BREAKERS, YAY!"

As the shout rang out, the barrier shattered and dissolved, tree sap raining down on everyone as Hsi Wu moved to catch the four girls as they fell.

"Seriously?" Jade demanded irritably. "Why is it always tree sap?"

"What?" Queen Jade spoke from her shoulder seductively. "You don't want anyone Hsi-ing you all wet and sticky?"

"Shutupshutupshutup!" Jade growled as she pulled her hood up in a vain attempt to hide her blush.

"Your Id is going to be the death of me," Hsi Wu moaned.

"Now I kinda wish we could see Jade's consciences," Sweetie Belle observed idly. "I bet those discussions are entertaining."

Daolong Wong shattered his way out of the ice. "You dare-"

"Ho. Ho. Ho."

Daolong Wong whimpered as he slowly turned to see Santa Claus standing behind him, cricking his knuckles. "...I'm doomed, aren't I?" he asked softly.

"Nah," Santa replied firmly. "Like I said before...I'm not allowed to kill." Reaching forward, he seized Wong by the front of his robes and hefted him up. "Merry F**kin' Christmas!" he shouted, somehow pronouncing the asterisks as he uppercutted Wong into the stratosphere.

"Bah Huuummmbuuuuug!" Wong screamed out as he disappeared from sight.

Santa calmly brushed his hands off, then turned and pointed his belt buckle towards the sky. A Christmas Tree shaped signal shone into the sky, summoning the sleigh - and Tohru and his girls - to the spot. "Looks like you did a good job filling in for me," Santa declared as he patted Tohru's shoulder. "How many deliveries did you four manage?"

"37," Tohru managed to say, looking more than a little winded as his girls slumped over him, asleep on their feet.

"Better than most fill-ins manage their first flight," Santa observed calmly. "Still got a lot of work to do...but I have an important stop to make first." As he moved to the sleigh, he felt a tug on his leg and looked down.

"Uh...Santa?" Apple Bloom asked nervously. "About the...about our letter..."

Santa suddenly scooped up all three fillies and Jade, plopping them down into the sleigh. "I said I had an important stop to make first!" he pointed out jovially. He then turned to Hsi Wu. "You flying or riding?"

Hsi Wu quickly changed back to his human form and hopped into the sleigh beside Jade. Santa seized the reins and whipped, sending the reindeer into the sky.


Valmont slowly stirred out of his meditation of counting the stars. He'd almost gotten all of them, he was certain, but that certainty faded as he shifted from light body to flesh and blood as his thoughts slowed. There was someone in his home. This was odd not because there was a late night intruder, but because he did not become aware of them before they were inside. He'd spread security webs a mile around in every direction. He should have been completely aware of anyone approaching.

He moved slowly towards the disturbance. If they could circumvent his security, then they could be quite dangerous even to him. He'd taken the time to learn everything about his new abilities, after all. He knew his limitations...and this shouldn't have been one of them.

...and why was the intrusion in Bai Tza's suite? He had emptied it of people after returning.

As he entered, he found himself with six surprise guests, five he instantly recognized. "Girls, Brother," he greeted softly. "Why are you here?"

"It was our letter!" Sweetie Belle pointed out happily.

"And you didn't think I wouldn't be in attendance, did you?" Hsi added.

Valmont turned, still confused...only to catch sight of the sixth intruder. Even if the appearance weren't iconic, he would know him by the way the fields of magic bent around him from how much good Chi was focused in every cell of his body, like a benign singularity. "S-Santa Claus?"

Santa smiled as he lifted his hands over the sea water infinity wave pool that had been Bai's favorite resting spot. The water in the pool - Valmont could have sworn he emptied it - began to bubble and froth before rising up out of the pool, taking the shape of a curtain that slowly parted...revealing the Netherrealm.

Bai Tza gasped as she saw the gate open...and her eyes widened further as Santa reached through and took her hand, pulling her through the gate. Her shape changed to her human form, a wedding gown of sea froth white silk taking shape over her body. Beyond the gate, Po Kong, Tso Lon, and Xiao Fung could be seen looking through, wide smiles on their faces.

Valmont instantly transformed his normal green suit into a black tuxedo. He didn't know what was causing this, or if he was somehow dreaming...but he was not going to do anything to disturb it. It was only then that he noticed the fillies and Jade were dressed in Christmas colored flower girl dresses, and Hsi Wu held a pillow with two rings sitting on it.

"We are gathered here on this, my sacred day," Santa began gently, "because three True Selfless feel that these two deserve a joyous union, a happily ever after. Within my power, this is a wish I would grant, if the two desire it." He turned to Valmont. "Valmont, Demon Sorcerer of Light...will you dedicate your life, your heart, your very soul to this woman, whom you love? That nothing may ever separate you more?"

"Without hesitation, I do," Valmont responded immediately.

"Bai Tza, Demon Sorceress of Water," Santa continued, "will you dedicate your life, your heart, your very soul to this man, whom you love? That nothing may ever separate you more?"

Bai Tza choked slightly, then responded, "I do."

"Then take these rings, and breathe of yourself into them," Santa instructed. "And with the exchange of rings of your essence, may your souls be bound everlasting."

Valmont and Bai Tza each took a ring. The gem in Valmont's ring took on his Light essence, becoming a glowing golden citrine. Bai's ring became a brilliant blue aquamarine. They happily slipped the rings onto each others fingers.

"Then by my power, I bind you for eternity, as man and wife," Santa spoke softly. "You may kiss the bride...but save anything else for after I get the kids out of here."

As those watching giggled or laughed as was their wont, Valmont and Bai Tza wrapped their arms around each other and kissed as instructed, holding each other close as they let all their love for each other flow into the other in that kiss.

As the group turned to go, a small orb of light floated in front of them. Tiny hands extended, taking hold of the three fillies. "Thank you...I will never be able to repay you properly for this," Valmont's voice whispered from the orb.

Scootaloo waved it off. "We don't want you to," she offered easily. "Just be happy with her."

The group headed outside as the orb vanished.


Santa frowned as the group reached the sleigh. "Girls, get in the sleigh," he instructed firmly. "You too, Hsi."

"Huh?" Hsi Wu demanded in confusion, only to tense up as he felt the shift of power.

"It will be safe there," Santa stated firmly.

As soon as the five were in the sleigh, the world began to shift.

Santa lifted a hand...and the world stopped. "You might as well come out," he stated firmly. "I know what you're here for, and I'm not leaving until we've talked."

Silence greeted this...and then three flares of light exploded in front of him, nearly blinding. When the light faded, three figures stood there.

The first looked like an entirely human old man of Asian descent, only his golden robes and the thrum of power around him indicating he was anything but what he appeared. The man beside him was tall, with pale skin, pointed ears, and angular features...and his ancient garb and aura of power matched that of his companion. The third man looked like a perfectly ordinary modern human in loose formal garb of black pants, white button down shirt - partially unbuttoned - and black jacket. However, a thousand different demonic faces seemed to overshadow his being.

Santa greeted each figure by name. "Jade Emperor...Fey King Oberon...Lucifer Morningstar. It must be an important matter if the three of you are here."

"You know what we're here about!" Oberon snapped angrily. "It's time for Valmont to face his punishment!"

"Punishment?" Santa asked, feigning surprise. "For what?"

"You know what," the Jade Emperor offered softly, somewhat sadly. "He broke the rules regarding Australia. You know the punishment he faces, no matter what."

"As I understand, the rule is quite firm about setting foot in Australia," Santa agreed. "But as far as I'm aware, Valmont's feet never touched earth in Australia in this timeline..."

"That sophistry surely isn't your best defense," Lucifer observed wryly, plainly amused.

"No, it's yours," Santa observed idly. "It's your way of being allowed to come up with a different punishment...which you'll need to in order to save face."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Oberon snapped out angrily.

"By sunrise, when my power in this world ends, the bond between Valmont and Bai Tza's souls will be permanent and unbreakable," Santa observed idly. "Bai Tza has done nothing to deserve having her soul destroyed in any life...and yet the destruction of the soul for anything but breaching the rules of Australia is considered the most heinous of crimes. 'A sin against the cycle', I believe the term is? Of course, that's why you are here now. You knew I could restore Valmont's soul from destruction if it was to grant the wish of three True Selfless...and his soul could reconstruct his body at will. So you had to wait until after I'd granted that Christmas wish, but before the bonding became permanent, to act."

"What of it?" the Jade Emperor asked curiously.

"I will make this simple," Santa said softly. "You can go back to the Council and set up a hearing to determine the proper punishment for Valmont's actions that doesn't result in destroying Bai's soul or violating the wish I've granted. Or you can try to break the wish I've granted."

"And what's to stop us from choosing the latter?" Oberon snarled.

"Not much," Santa observed idly. His eyes suddenly turned steely. "All you have to do is get past me."

Dead silence reigned on the rooftop. After a time, Santa cracked his knuckles. "Ho. Ho. Ho."

The Jade Emperor bowed respectfully...and vanished. Oberon looked like he wanted to object...but paled at the look in Santa's eyes and spun away before vanishing as well. Lucifer began to clap slowly. "Well done, Nick," he offered calmly. "Thanks for that."

Santa blinked in surprise. "Thanks?" he asked in surprise.

"Do you know how long I've been waiting for someone I could train to replace me?" Lucifer chuckled darkly. "I doubt he'll thank me for the training...so I'll give him a few years of Happily Ever After before I come tap him. I can wait a while longer for retirement. Merry Christmas to you, too." And with that, Lucifer vanished.

As the world seemed to return to normal, Jade finally found her voice and managed to express everyone's thoughts. "Well," she gasped out, her voice cracking, "that happened."

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