A Relaxing Trip
Jackie frowned worriedly as the group returned to Uncle's Rare Finds. While the trip to awaken Jade as the Chosen One had an unexpectedly happy and positive outcome as far as Jade was concerned, the last bit between Jade and Hsi Wu had left Jackie mightily disturbed. Jade no longer objected when someone referred to Hsi as her boyfriend...and Jackie was not comfortable with the idea of Jade dating at her age, especially not with a Demon centuries her senior. That was not something he could greet with equanimity...even if he was emotionally torn every time he caught sight of them holding hands.
"To be fair, that's all they do," Tiger pointed out from his shoulder. "Hold hands, Jade slipping under his arm, maybe a kiss on the cheek. Not even on first base, so we really shouldn't be reacting so negatively."
"But she's much too young to be dating!" Kitten insisted. "Especially not someone so much older than her!"
"Actually, by demon standards Hsi's still a teenager," Tiger pointed out. "About equivalent to 15 by human standards."
"That's even worse!" Kitten cried out despairingly. "I can't even count on him for responsible behavior then!"
"Look, we know Hsi cares a lot about her and is looking out for her," Tiger insisted firmly. "He's not about to do anything to hurt her, so he's not going to be doing anything when she's this young-"
"She now has the experience of all past Chosen Ones to draw on, he's bound to the spirit of her will, it's up in the air which of them is more mischievous by nature, and they share a bedroom," Kitten countered pointedly.
Tiger hesitated. "...okay, yeah, we need to fix that last one."
"Apple Bloom," Jackie asked courteously, "do you think you could add another bedroom to the shop?"
"Shouldn't be too hard," Apple Bloom allowed. "But ah don't see why we need one. We've got a couple guest rooms, and bedrooms fer everyone-"
"I think Hsi needs his own room now," Jackie explained firmly.
"What?" Jade yelped out. "Why? You never insisted on that before!"
"You weren't sharing kisses before," Jackie pointed out flatly. "I'm not comfortable with you sharing a bedroom with your boyfriend, even if you are sharing it with your cousins as well."
"But Jackie-"
"I think you're looking at it the wrong way, Uncle Jackie," Scootaloo spoke up thoughtfully. "Our room has no dividing walls, and only a one-person bathroom attached. Not exactly any privacy in there."
"And?" Sweetie asked curiously.
"Jade, how many spells of silence and sound suppression do the past Chosen Ones know?" Scootaloo inquired blandly.
"Oh well-" Jade cut herself off. "Not...that many..." she offered unconvincingly.
"Yeah, kinda figured if Emeraude was anything like you - or if any of the past Chosen Ones were - they'd have made it part of the duties of each generations Chosen One to memorize any new spells developed during their life time," Scootaloo observed calmly, buffing one hoof against the fur of her chest, which was starting to develop slightly thicker than fur elsewhere on her body. "That way even if the spells are lost in books or scrolls, the Chosen One knows them."
"And if I give Hsi his own room, then that's a room with privacy that Jade knows how to magically sound proof," Jackie deduced with a rueful sigh. "Why can't magic make things easier?"
"It does," Viper pointed out happily. "Let them continue sharing a room. Even if Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo give no thought to anything the pair get up to, they'll say something about it...and neither Jade nor Hsi is enough of an exhibitionist to not want privacy."
"Correction," Hsi Wu spoke up diffidently. "Jade isn't enough of an exhibitionist to not want privacy...yet." He paused, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "As far as I know, anyway." He blinked as he realized everyone was staring at him. "What? You're surprised the one who flies around in only a loincloth in his natural form has no shame?"
"Woof," Jade murmured under her breath.
"Woof indeed!" Queen purred from her shoulder, tugging gently at her gown. "And he's definitely right on that 'yet'. And we already know when we get older we'll have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of." She posed sensually with a slow wink in Hsi's direction.
"Good god it's so much easier dealing with you when I don't have to pretend to be shocked by your behavior," Emeraude groaned softly, walking around Jade's shoulders to smack Queen in the temple with two fingers.
"Ow!" Queen snapped back. "Who do you think you are, Uncle-GYAH!"
To Jade's surprise, a tiny Uncle in a wizard's robe was yanking hard on Queen's ear. "One more thing!" he insisted firmly. "Respect your elders!"
"Oh lay off," another Uncle countered, this one dressed in leather pants, a leather vest, and the Dog Talisman. "Don't you remember what it was like to be young?"
"No, that's your job now," the wizard Uncle snapped irritably.
"Oh, right," Hsi Wu added thoughtfully. "You can see someone else's consciences if they interact physically with yours. Of course, once they do, things can get...hectic."
"We can interact physically?" Kitten asked in surprise. "You mean I can actually do something about the way Queen is dressed-"
"It goes both ways, handsome," the catsuit wearing Viper purred as she and the apron-clad one nuzzled up to Tiger...though this time the apron-clad Viper had left her sundress on Viper's shoulder.
"Like I said," Hsi groaned ruefully.
"Hacha!" Uncle declared happily as he lifted up some of his mail.
"What is it, Sensei?" Tohru asked curiously.
"Uncle's business associate Mr. Lam is executor of an estate!" Uncle explained happily. "He wants to sell all contents of estate to Uncle in bulk for the shop! Many valuable antiques in old Chinese mansion! Could be big windfall."
"In that case, why don't we all go check it out?" Viper suggested happily. "It sounds like a perfect relaxing trip for everyone, and a good chance for Jade and Hsi - and everyone else - to get used to the new changes without anything serious hanging over our heads."
"And who will run Uncle's shop?" Uncle demanded irritably.
"Lucia and Ysabelle could run the shop," Sofia offered warmly. "Lucia's very good at tending to ancient objects, and Ysabelle is very good with account books and coin." The two named sisters perked up at the idea of being given a chance to take responsibility like that.
"Well...okay," Uncle allowed happily. "What could go wrong?"
Jackie groaned ruefully. "'Unexpected' adventure, here we come..."
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Jackie has learned to be genre savvy
Well I am going to feel sorry for all the shoulder entities as now they must deal with Uncle’s and he will keep them in order, unless they need another visit from Mr. Popo.
Uncle...
you of all people should know that you never ever EVER say that phrase!
You had to say it... you just had to say it.
.....I feel like Uncle of all people should know not to say this.
Uncle, you just asked 'What could go wrong?'... . . .
UNCLE SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO TEMPT UNIVERSE WITH MISCHIEVOUS STREAK!
OOooooooo! The chi episode is next!
But that certainly escalated quickly as the consciences realized they could interact. One little realization and all of them are exploiting it
I'm gonna be honest... I never thought about the loin clothe before, and now I can't stop thinking about it... and considering how future Jade dressed, 'yet' really is the keyword.
YES!!! One of my favorite episodes coming up
. Especially with so many of the consciences out and about as well as Emeraude having her own volition
.
Jade: Vampire! Stake it!
Queenie: Yeah! Kick down the doors, bring the stakes, crossbows, and leather outfit! We're taking this Buffy style!!
Emeraude: Squirt, you're drawing on chosen one knowledge. You know that's not how it works with Chi vampires.
Queenie: Uh, duh! I was going for coolness factor. You can't tell me you wouldn't have wanted to try that yourself as a kid.
Emeraude: We didn't have Buffy when I was a kid. *Emeraude puts a hand to her chin in thought as she remembers back to the past and reluctantly nods* But...yeah. I can see your point.
........Hey Uncle? Murphy's calling. He want to know what you want on your Tombstone, as well as everyone else's.
I strongly suspect that second last line was also followed by synchronized facepalms/facehooves from everyone present, even the consciences, including Uncle's.
Suddenly, I am remembering a Family Guy joke about a bull in a china shop.
8794755. OH SHIT ! ITS THE POPO
That is a lot for one set of shoulders to burden...
8794815
I bet he planned that joke for months. You know what I feel like?
ocado.com/productImages/147/14744011_0_640x640.jpg?identifier=9cf5bb268854ed4bdc2ba0511dfed12f
My sides... could hurt but I’ve been a funny guy for awhile.
Mansion? N-Nani?!?!
We thought we were dealing with ordinary vampires! Nope! Just DIO!
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/925/766/4f7.jpg
Hmmmm, hey anyone have some plank from an old sailing vessel we could sell to Uncle, (with proper documents of authenticity of course)? That way he can at least knock on wood when he tempts fate like that. Probably would fetch a pretty penny to, I know they recently found an old Revolutionary War era vessel up in Maine thanks to all these Nor'easters...
So the Chi Vampire is coming next huh? Wonder if the CMC will summon anyone to help them from the land of tv or books like they did way back at the start of the story's first arc? Would be funny to see the vampire dealing with a certain rubberman who has an issue with things like slavery and looking down on others that's already has experience fighting zombies, including a giant ogre or troll? and a giant shadow vampire themed gecko. XD
One of my favorite episodes that was basically pure shenanigans. In the PWNY universe I foresee greater shenanigans with a dose of insanity. It's times like this where I want to worship your incredible mind Tats.
...I need to look up a book of worldwide magic phenomena, because I'm pretty sure Uncle just activated a major one.
Incoming Chi Vampire in 3... 2... 1...
Aaaand it ded.
Oh Uncle, you should know better than to summon Murphy. Especially you! Perhaps his shoulder consciences will have to make up for that mistake somehow...
Chapter One Hundred Seventy-Seven
"Bad Day"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 43
"I'm not your Mistress!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 8
8794953
you don't need a book on magic just refer to Murphy's Law
8795017
What I'm saying is that, while in our world, Murphy's Law is little more than superstition and writing convention, in this world of magic, it's probably a proven fact.
Of course, Uncle was also a highly trained chi wizard, and understood the workings of the fundamental magical forces of creation better than most individuals. As such, he knew better than to talk about how content he was anywhere near a concentration of magical energy...which was both San Francisco in general and his own Chi Laboratory specifically. Instead, he complained frequently about things that only somewhat mattered to his happiness.
bad day
If only Uncle didn't mansion that one line at the end then they'd have one less thing to worry about. Jackie knows he's going to have a sucky time though probably not in the way he expects.
8795033
that is why you wouldn't need to look any further
Hmm... something's not right with this statement. Something on the edge of my memory. Something...
Oh... Right... Guess Uncle's not as well-read on the Universe as he likes to think he is.
Well then! Onto the next pit of tree sap flooded adventure!
Uncle... I thought you were smarter than that to invoke Murphy's Law!!! You're the most experienced one there!!!!! Uncle's shoulder consciences are perfect, but I bet they can both go Papa Wolf if necessary.
8795043
media.giphy.com/media/CfBFkM6pvgxI4/giphy.gif
Wait, I forget which is which?
Doesn’t Uncle know better than to tempt fate?
8795250
I think he might actually be trying to tempt fate to give him an adventure so he gains more rare, non-hazardous, artifacts to sell at his shop. Or Uncle has gotten overconfident with his 'new' Godly backing.
What does the average number of cats in San Fran have anything to do with this.
I'm surprised that no one is talking about the fact that the shoulder yin/yang things can interact with one another and it makes them visible for all the parties involved feel like that can get pretty crazy
Uncle... That phrase was dangerous before the world became more magically adept.
Yeah, and making Hsi a room just for him means a room where he and Jade can find privacy.
Pegasus chest floof!
All the shoulder angels are getting to be a bit too much. There's running gags and then there's this. @_@
he had to say it. HE HAD TO SAY IT.what can go wrong. EVERTHING.
Okay... now this absurdity with the shoulder people interacting REALLY demands to be further explored.
Gonna have to agree, Uncle's tempting fate badly.
8794815
Meh. They'd be fine. Adam and Jamie say so.
Well, Tori, Grant and Kari say so, but still.
DAMMIT UNCLE
8795290
I honestly hope Uncle's slip up leads to a… party. A party where you party hardy. A party where you'd best be ready to die…
8795239
Catsuit is adventurous, Apron is Domestic.
Current Shoulder People Known:
Jackie: Tiger & Kitten
Jade: Queen & Emeraude (Formerly Saint)
Viper: Dommy & Mommy (Edited to match syllable counts and because it's funny)
Sonata: Popo & Taco
Valmont: Demon & Siren [Thanks Mr-Astounding!]
Uncle: Geezer & Pupper
I wonder what the guys on Wong's shoulders would be?
And with that... a 'relaxing trip' has gone up in smoke.
You should know better than to tempt fate, Uncle!
Tempting Fate has never been so funny
Really, Uncle, you should know better. After all, weren't you the one who was going on about how the universe is always listening and likes to mess with people back in chapter one?
8794756>>8794759>>8794766>>8795250>>8795126
I know, right?!?
Any chance we can go Darkstalkers in what's to come? Hsien-ko/Mei-ling was my favorite character, just saying.