• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 14,952 Views, 12,558 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou



Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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Arousing Conclusion

Valmont stared down at the prone form of Dai Gui, who remained unmoving even after a full ten minutes. "...is he dead?" he asked Bai Tza nervously.

"No," she responded immediately. "If he were, he'd have dissolved into his elemental energy and his spirit would be flying around. He's just...very unconscious."

Valmont sighed in relief. "Well that's a load off my mind," he allowed. "If he were dead, we'd be stuck with a third wheel for far too long." He smiled as that got a chuckle out of her. Noticing Jade and her friends approaching, he smiled their way. "I take it you're going to banish him now?" he asked pleasantly.

"That's the plan," Sweetie Belle confirmed. "He was planning to conquer and hurt a lot of people."

"Is that a problem?" Jade asked challengingly.

"Not at all," Valmont offered graciously. "He refused to abide by our agreement, and that meant our association was terminated. I have other clients to attend to, and he is no longer any of my concern at this time." He turned towards Tohru. "Besides, I would be a fool to pick a fight with someone who just punched out a demon in front of an entire tribe who respect strength and kindness above all else. They'd probably take it as a religious obligation to assist him."

"Aren'tcha gonna lose money payin' everyone back for th' event?" Apple Bloom asked curiously.

Valmont chuckled wickedly. "You didn't think I'd take in this much money and not anticipate everything falling apart, did you? The ticket contract mentioned how Dai Gui was under contract regarding this event...which he was under the agreement that he followed my guidance on how to not get banished again. The plan here was to get him to become an accepted member of the community, and possibly worshiped as a local Earth Spirit so he would have a religious kingdom here if not a secular one. Of course, he refused to listen to a 'mere human', so he's the one who violated the contract. That means he's the one who owes them a refund."

All four girls burst into giggles as they prepared the banishment spell. "Sounds like we're doing him a favor banishing him," Scootaloo joked. "The courts can't reach him in the Netherrealm, right?"

"I wouldn't lay money that way," Hsi Wu offered wickedly, grinning from ear to human ear.

Once the banishment was complete, the gathered people began to disperse. Valmont stuck around, curious as to why Tohru had reacted so strongly. He shifted discreetly over to where he could hear what was being said as the large man and the three minotaur girls - who hadn't released him from the moment he punched out Dai Gui - were standing before the older woman...who Valmont now recognized as Tohru's mother.

"Mother, this is Sofia, Lucia, and Ysabelle," Tohru spoke up, introducing the three girls to her. "They were caretakers of this temple...though now that Dai Gui's portal is permanently sealed, they are freed from that magical obligation and have asked me to be their guide around the world." He smiled down at the girls as they grinned up at him.

Mrs. T clapped her hands happily together. (1)"My baby boy!" she declared expansively. "You make your momma proud! Three fine ladies such as these, so beautiful and sweet..." She shifted to look at the girls from different angles. "And such modest beauties, too! And minotaurs are known to have a very easy time giving birth, so they'll give strong grandkids! You have such fine taste, Tohru!"

"M-Mommy!" Tohru whined, lowering his head in embarrassment as all three girls' faces bloomed like matching tomatoes...only to cling all the tighter to him.

Mrs. T pulled out her wallet and handed Tohru a large wad of bills. "Go! Treat them to a nice dinner for their first night out of the Temple. The sooner you date, the sooner you marry, and the sooner I get grandchildren! And I want it in that order!"

Sofia found it in her to speak up. "Umm...Ma'am-"

"None of that!" Mrs. T interrupted. "You can call me Mother, sweetheart."

Sofia's cheeks turned, if possible, even redder. "Mother...it's part of minotaur tradition-"

"Yes, yes, I know!" Mrs. T interrupted. "Engagements might last as long as a decade to ensure when the union is blessed it is complete, because polygamy is accepted but polyamory is not(2), and nothing is thought of a child being born post engagement but before the wedding. But I know my baby boy! It will take him long enough just to get used to the idea of having three wives, and the last thing girls as shy as you need is one of your tribal sisters with a more assertive bent joining in and stealing all his attention. Trust me, speed things up...but not too fast!"

Valmont chuckled as he stepped closer to make himself known. "It seems you haven't changed all that much, Ma'am," he greeted warmly.

"Ah, it's nice Mr. Valmont!" Mrs. T greeted warmly. "I'm so glad to see you and my boy are still on good terms even if he chose a new line of work."

Noticing Tohru tensing up, Valmont smiled softly. No need to skew relations here. "Yes, well, our long term goals became...incompatible, and he chose to go his own way. Still, there's nothing personal in it, even if he has joined the...competition, shall we say?"

Mrs. T chuckled knowingly. "Oh, no need to be delicate around me. I knew you were part of criminal enterprise from the moment I first met you."

Valmont and Tohru both pulled back in shock. "Y-you did?" Valmont asked in surprise. "And you were so happy that he found his way to work for - to be blunt - a criminal overlord?"

"Look at him!" Mrs. T pointed out, grasping Tohru's arm to show the size of his muscles. "Large, well muscled, intimidating, socially awkward...being somebody's criminal muscle was inevitable. Much better bodyguard to a gentleman kingpin than Yakuza enforcer. Much lower chances someone shows up at my door to try and break my knees to make him behave, and much better accommodation when I visit him at work."

"And being on the wrong side of the law?" Valmont asked carefully.

"Pfeh! Law-shmaw!" Mrs. T dismissed. "Big paycheck make good work around for social awkwardness. Knew somewhere there'd be a girl patient enough to see how much of a sweetheart my baby boy is! And with how you are with your men, I was waiting till we knew each other well enough I could ask you to help him find one!"

Valmont chuckled softly. "If I'd known that was a concern, I'd have started looking long ago to pair him off. Though I doubt I'd have had as much luck as he's had now." He turned to Tohru and the girls. "So they're going to be going with you back to San Fran? Passports and tickets in order?" Seeing Ysabelle's eyes widen in shock, he smiled. "Didn't think so. Here." He handed Tohru a card. "An associate of mine can expedite things in that regard so you can all head home tomorrow, the day after at the latest. I'll be letting him know to expect you and what you need on my way out."

Tohru blinked in surprise, then bowed gratefully. "T-thank you."

"No need to look so shocked, Tohru," Valmont offered warmly. "One thing I was always firm on was that my employees were happy to work for me. Just because you don't work for me anymore doesn't mean I'm any less invested in your happiness."

Tohru smiled widely. "I'll remember that..."


That night, as the Chans and others stayed at their hotel while they waited for Tohru's girlfriends' 'expedited passports', Viper stood irritably in front of the now inactive Armor of the Immortals. "Alright Sharaka," she began firmly. "Let's get one thing straight. I get you like Jackie and he's just your type...but I saw him first. He's mine, and I don't like the idea of you molesting him every time he has to put you on. I'm sure the girls will find some way to accelerate your recharge without feeding you a person, so he'll be wearing you again before long...but none of that groping! Only I get to do that, understand?"

Shadows shifted, making the armor seem to loom aggressively. Viper huffed. "I'm not afraid of you," she stated flatly. "After all, Jackie'd be very upset if you ate me-"

The armor suddenly blazed with light. When the light faded, Viper found her clothes from the day across the room, and the armor clinging to her body very suggestively...especially with the way it left so much of the skin of her torso exposed. Seeing her reflection, she couldn't help but run her hands over it. "I like the look...but I don't see what you're getting at-"

Bits of the armor pulled back slightly, only to resettle. Viper's eyes widened. "So...is this your idea of a compromise? And a way to accelerate your recharge?"

The armor flexed pleasantly around Viper's body, and she grinned widely. "Well, I certainly wasn't about to let Jackie get away with having some other girl get their hands on him..." she purred wickedly. "I think I'll go slip into his room. I think I can be quite...convincing."



(1) Line submitted by EchoWing, and I just had to use it...with a few tweaks.
(2) For those who don't quite grasp the meaning here...minotaurs have no problems with the idea of a marriage encompassing more than 2 people, but the idea of anyone in a marriage seeking sex or romance outside the union is unthinkable. As such, the 'engagement' is kept long to ensure that it is a 'complete union', so no ones' eyes will stray once married.

Author's Note:

Oh gods, I love writing Mrs. T! Does it show?

I'm torn between finding a way to include her in more episodes, or leaving her involvement at canon limits to keep her from stealing the show. Thoughts?

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