• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 15,168 Views, 12,616 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou



Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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Astounding Citizenry

It didn't take long for Valmont to find his way to the Temple of Labyrinthos, the Gate of Dai Gui. He found it rather refreshing that the location was of such cultural significance that he didn't need to go hunting for it, which left plenty of time to wander around and take in the locale before going to open the portal. This provided plenty of time for the paperwork to file so Section 13 could pay for Jackie's ticket to fight Dai Gui. He made sure to keep track of that particular transaction. When and if he eventually shifted back to purely mundane criminal enterprises, having a paper trail of Section 13 paying him - for whatever purpose - would be worth quite a bundle in terms of legal loopholes.

A long course had been laid out, with those who'd paid for running tickets arranged at various places along it depending on how much they wanted to run. Jackie Chan was near the start of the course in the Armor of the Immortals, plainly ready for a running battle...although the way he kept squirming suggested he was already in the midst of another sort of battle, much to Bai Tza's amusement. Behind Jackie, Viper plainly wasn't amused by the situation. Valmont found that even more amusing.

Valmont and Bai Tza stood to one side of the laid out track. On the other side, he could see the old chi wizard, a woman who looked to be the same age but better preserved, the three fillies, Hsi Wu in his human form, and the girl who had apparently tamed him. From the looks of things, they were prepared to cast the banishment spell to seal Dai Gui back in the Netherrealm...but there was no urgency in their preparations. Apparently, his speech to Jackie had greater impact than he'd anticipated. They were willing to give Dai Gui a chance to adapt to the modern world and choose to not conquer.

Somehow, I doubt that's in the cards, Valmont thought to himself as Ratso approached the Temple with the Box. It's light revealed the lock, and it flew into the keyhole as it was designed to do. Still, there's always a chance. Perhaps that's why the Pan'ku Box was designed to be able to open the portals...to give the Brotherhood a chance at parole.

The gateway opened, and Dai Gui slowly stepped out. He was a massive reddish-brown beast, built like a minotaur but with a manticore's mane. His horns grew long out of his skull, curving upward in the classic bull-horn profile. His hands were massive with curved fingers, designed for tearing through the earth. His legs ended in blunt flat surfaces, not even true hooves, as though he were growing out of the earth rather than standing on its surface.

Dai Gui turned to examine his surroundings, only to his as he saw so many of the people there bedecked with flowers. "Too many flowers..." he snarled angrily. "Dai Gui does not like pretty!"

"Does he always speak in third person?" Jade whispered to Hsi Wu.

"He was never one for brains," Hsi whispered back. "Sometimes I think he refers to himself that way to make sure he doesn't forget his name."

Bai Tza stifled her giggles as Valmont stepped forward. "Welcome to Earth, Dai Gui," he spoke up calmly. "Are you ready to adjust to the world as it has become and find a place in it?"

"Find nothing!" Dai Gui growled fiercely. "I shall claim my kingdom deep beneath the Earth by submerging this entire settlement!"

"Then you are refusing my advice and directives regarding your release?" Valmont asked carefully.

"I have no use for human aid!" Dai Gui confirmed with a glower.

Valmont sighed as he stepped back. "Then I must wash my hands of your situation," he allowed sadly. "Still, would you do me the favor of starting your tunneling along the marked path?" He gestured to where many people were getting into running stances. "These civilians paid good money to try and outrun you, and Chan paid even more to fight you."

Dai Gui slowly turned to stare at the people waiting, who turned enthusiastic grins back in his direction. He then turned to where Jackie - in the Armor of the Immortals - waited to battle him. He then turned back to Valmont. "...wat?"

"Is there something you don't grasp?" Valmont asked winsomely as Bai Tza and Hsi Wu struggled to contain laughter.

"These people...paid to be my prey?" Dai Gui clarified. "Why?"

"Thrill seekers, I imagine," Valmont allowed. "There are few alive who can say they either outran or survived being gored by an Earth Demon."

Dai Gui turned back and forth, plainly so totally caught off guard by this situation that it had completely derailed his train of thought.

Wow, Valmont thought to himself. He really isn't all that bright...

"Labyrinthos!" a strident voice suddenly called from the temple. Dai Gui - and everyone else - turned to see who had called.

Three modestly dressed minotaur women - modest for minotaurs, that is - stood at the top of the temple stairs, one in Greek attire, one in Chinese, one in Japanese. The one in a Greek gown stood slightly in front of the other two and had been the one to speak. "It is not too late, Labyrinthos!" she called out again. "If you recant and offer repentance unto Poseidon, he can still grant mercy! He might revoke his punishment to his son, if you will only accept your Father's will-"

"I have no Father!" Dai Gui roared in fury as he spun fully to face the temple. "And there is no Labyrinthos!" He pulled back one massive fist, aiming a crushing punch straight at the trio of girls. "There is only DAI GUI!" With that declaration, the fist flew forward as many of those watching desperately rushed forward to try and do something...anything...

There was the sound of flesh hitting flesh and a cloud of dust. When the cloud cleared, Dai Gui stood in front of the Temple, his form shrouding whatever had happened. Several moments passed...and then Dai Gui crumpled and fell like a puppet whose strings had been cut before falling limply to the ground.

Atop the temple steps, the three ladies cowering behind him, Tohru - his face twisted in the mask of fury he had worn so often in Valmont's service - slowly withdrew his fist. On Dai Gui's face, a dent could be seen right between his eyes in the shape of said fist.

Silence reigned. Eventually, it was broken by a single question.

"So why did I need this again?" Jackie asked Uncle, indicating the armor that was fitting to his body like a second skin.

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