• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 14,954 Views, 12,558 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou



Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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Once Uncle had managed to sweep up the fragments of the rare Ming vase, he turned to face the three foals, ready to deliver a blistering remonstration against their reckless behavior...only to find all three sitting huddled together with their heads down, Scootaloo herself looking like she was about to burst into tears. Sighing, Uncle knelt down beside them. He knew there would be no point in giving them such a lecture. Instead, he pulled them into a hug. "It's alright," he said softly. "There are hundreds of rare Ming vases out there, and they are always being broken. Jackie will find me a new one and I'll get it insured." He rubbed his chin. "Then again, I should probably get everything here insured. Good lesson for today." Seeing that this had the desired effect of cheering them up, Uncle relaxed. Perhaps this wouldn't be so difficult-

All three of their stomachs rumbled, and they burst into loud wails.

"Aiyah!" Uncle screamed out, covering his ears again. "Alright! Alright! Uncle will make you food!" When the sound stopped, Uncle looked down nervously, worried he'd find them absent. Instead, he found them looking up at him expectantly, eyes wide, forehooves on their bellies, ears flat against their skulls. He quickly looked away. "One more thing! Try to be less cute. Uncle can not give you food if he has cute induced heart attack!" When this resulted in more tears, Uncle buried his face in his hands and went to his chi laboratory. "Uncle just had to open his big mouth..." he grumbled to himself.

Thankfully, one of his tomes just happened to be on the care of various magical creatures, subdivided between the type of chi they represented. While the pages on Qi-Lin did not contain any detail on raising an infant one, as an infant Qi-Lin had never been seen (and if the pictures of all the various forms Qi-Lin had taken over the millennia were any indication, Sweetie Belle was either a new variant, due to undergo major metamorphosis as she grew, or all historical Qi-Lin had been male and the species had major sexual dimorphism, all possible explanations), there was a recipe for a chi magic food that could be fed to any infant good chi magical creature to help stabilize them and strengthen their inherent magic, recommended as a first meal for hand raising. Luckily, it also proved to be safe for human consumption, in case he had to show them it was okay to eat by eating some himself.

Making a quick search of his chi laboratory, he found all the ingredients he needed for the recipe and began to prepare it. As he mixed, he chanted a purifying spell to drive away all evil or bad influences from the mixture. "Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao...Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao..."

Before long, the mixture glowed a faint lime green, before settling into a faint shimmer of magic. Uncle had to admit, it didn't look very appetizing. In point of fact, it looked like pale green porridge. And on top of that, it had an absolutely vile smell. If the tome hadn't told him to expect that, he would have been certain he'd messed something up with either the recipe or the spell. Picking up the large dish, he carried it out to the three foals...who immediately backed away.

"It's alright," Uncle offered reassuringly. "Smells bad, but good for you!" He set the dish down. Scootaloo approached the dish and poked its contents with her hoof, then backed away when it wiggled. "Trust Uncle!" Uncle coaxed reassuringly. "It's good magic!" Sticking his finger in it, he licked his finger clean...then fought valiantly to suppress his gag reflex. "Urk! ...see?"

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle stared up at him disbelievingly, but Apple Bloom approached. Leaning forward, she gave the mixture a cautious lick...then promptly buried her face in it, munching away happily. A few exchanged squeaks between the three foals, and Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo quickly joined. Uncle sat back with a smile as he saw the magical auras shaping around the trio, growing in power and stabilizing around them.

At that moment, the phone rang. "I'll be right back," Uncle told the three as he made his way to the phone. "Nff...Uncle's joints are getting creaky," he grumbled. "Kneeling was bad idea." Reaching the phone, he picked it up. "Hello! Uncle's Antiques! Who is calling?"

"Uncle!" a familiar voice called from the other end.

"Jackie!" Uncle greeted happily. "So good to hear from you!"

"It's good to speak to you too, Uncle," Jackie agreed. "I just got back from a dig, and...I was wondering if I could bring a few artifacts over for you to analyze. Some old hieroglyphics-"

"Of course Jackie!" Uncle agreed. "Uncle will be happy to help. Can Jackie pick some things up for Uncle on the way to Uncle's shop?"

"Uh...sure Uncle," Jackie agreed. "What did you need?"

"Pet harnesses," Uncle stated firmly. "Three of them." He glanced towards the three foals. "Small to medium size. One more thing, three leashes."

"Wha?" Jackie asked, confused. "Uncle, did you get a pet?"

"One more thing!" Uncle continued, ignoring Jackie's question. "Goat's milk!" Seeing the signs of the three foals getting upset, Uncle knew he had to end the call soon. "Uncle will talk later!" He quickly hung up.


Jackie stared at the payphone as he hung up. "That was odd," he muttered, turning away and shouldering his satchel of tools, supplies, and artifacts. "But where am I supposed to find those things in this part of San Fransisco?"

Right across the street, Jackie's eyes fell on an exotic pets supply depot.

"Huh," Jackie smiled. "Convenient." Seeing traffic was rather busy at the moment, Jackie leapt onto a mailbox, launched himself against a nearby building wall, and kicked off to land on a nearby traffic light pole. Walking across the traffic light into the middle of the intersection, he leapt across to the next one, crossed the rest of the way, and hopped lightly down on the other side. He paused long enough to acknowledge the applause of several watching children before entering the shop.

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